Day two of my journey of Not being at PAX.



I woke up at 10 something. It was saturday. Those church people came by going door to door around 11 am as they do every saturday.

I checked my bank account balance. It's fine. I used a little extra overtime money to buy an Barret M99 airsoft look-a-like. Also, got a rubber Kabar style bayonet with a sheath.

Thinking about airsoft I went out back to shoot my airsoft KSC MP-9. Still punches through cans like butter. Need to adjust the laser sight just a bit.



After that I played Team Fortess 2 until I get a call from my uncle, somebody is coming back from a trip to Cuba and it's his birthday. I got ready at 4 and after a few hours of spanish talk, I was home again. Refilled the left tire with air.

Then, it was just watching Adult Swim... yeah.

So... that was it for Day Two.

Stay tune for Day Three.

So I'm not at PAX. I coludn't get the money together as I just started a new job. Anyway; PAX Day One;

I woke up at 3:30 am to get ready for work. I wasn't at a hotel, sleeping in my car or staying with friends at PAX.



After seven long boring uneventful hours, I got home. My chihuahua greeted me at the door. I didn't get to play demos of games that aren't out yet, I didn't get to attend any panels, I didn't meet fellow community members. I was home.

I tried to play Team Fortess 2 to keep the thought of PAX off my mind. Unfortunately. a near by thunder storm kept dropping my connection at random intervals. So I watched tv... for a minute. I turned to my DVD collection for a good while. Slither, Hot Fuzz and Shawn of the Dead.

All the while, keeping an eye on my Face Book. Quite a few of my buddies are there. They were at panels, playing unreleased games, mingling with community members and raving on and on about this and that. I shut the computer off after Hot Fuzz.



I fell asleep at about 6 pm. Not from partying, not from walking everywhere and not from lighting some one on fire. Just tried.

Stay tune for more.

I do hope I’m not letting the CEO cat out of the bag, but if you just listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head, you will find the truth: The Destructoid HQ is moving out of South Florida. I spoke to Colette (Bennett) about this at the last GameNARP and she confirmed it, my brain went in to a kind of denial.

“No way” I thought to myself, “A lot can change between now and then.” That was a few months ago.

Recently, more and more talk of “The Move” made me realized the scope of things. Looks like it’s a sure thing and I have to learn to man up accept it. I also, realized that some major changes will occur in the South Florida Video Gaming scene, as in it will die.

Let me explain: The South Florida Video Gaming is small and not glorious.

Not like California home to a lot of events, studios, publishers, major players in the gaming live and work there, a MUCH larger and a bit more excepted nerd culture, closer geography to Japan.

In South Florida, we have nothing like Comic-Con or e3, but what about PAX East? It’s in Boston, Massachusetts, 1261 miles away. The nerd culture here is pretty stale as far as conventions and community goes. Maybe some life can come back if the GameNARP lives another year and if Infinite Bits lives up to the talk.

*we have 15 or so small bullshit studios (Not counting EA Tiburon)that make shitty DS and Wii titles, while California has almost every single big major studio and publisher including:

Sony Computer Entertainment
The Behemoth
Rockstar San Diego
2K Games
Electronic Arts Los Angeles
Infinity Ward
Insomniac Games
Naughty Dog
Neversoft Entertainment
Obsidian Entertainment
Pandemic Studios
THQ
Ubisoft San Francisco
Red Octane
PopCap Games
Maxis
LucasArts Entertainment Company
Koei
Konami Digital Entertainment
Eidos Interactive
Electronic Arts Redwood Shores
Crystal Dynamics

You can see why it’s nice if the D-tiod crew needs to see a demo at Rock star or go to e3, they don’t need to fly 100+ miles to go see it or to it. When they want to fly to Japan, It’s cheaper due to the shorter trip.

I’m sure this decision is harder on them than anyone else. I just wanted to get my thoughts on paper (Read: screen).

Read me and quote me; When the Destructoid HQ moves, the South Florida Gaming scene dies in its slumber.

You see these lists quite often on the internetz. I assure you this isn't just an excuse to spam the C-blogs with unpaid ads for Examiner.com. You might be thinking, "What makes this list any different?" Honestly, this is still a list of blah blah blah you;re not reading this blah blah blah. All I can offer you in the "what's the difference" category is that I'm a washout internet writer who thought this would be an interesting way of stealing ad views from another site. Don't worry female readers; I'll be posting another link to Examiner.com in a timely fashion just for you.

Tuvok

[Text here] Examiner.com(Editors note: plz get dis done b4 postin THKU!)

343 Guilty Spark

This little dude sold out the Chief for a new Halo ring. Sounds like he put the UNSCDF in quite the bind. He just wanted save everyone from the Flood… by killing everyone. No doubt he would have fit in here at [NAME OF HOST WEB SITE destructoid ].

The Medic

This German dude stands in the back while all the other guys get blasted by snipers, sentries and heavies. Selling you out so he can get high on Übercharge. Much like UGO, am I right? Examiner.com isn’t like that at all.

Al Mualim

First, he takes all of your stuff and then tells you to kill some dudes as punishment. Clearly Al Mualim is not a true gamer because killing in a game isn’t work, its fun! Much like reading our articles over at Examiner.com

That guy on your team in Halo

We all know who I’m talking about, the guy on your team who will sell you for fun. Betraying you, not taking the flag, hogging the sniper, driving slow, etc. (Editors note: U 4got t-baging numnuts). Surly, this guy is most likely to be [INSERT DISLIKED WITER ON HOST SITE Jim Stering] after dinking. None of our writers are like that
at all at Examiner.com.

Dex Jackson

At first, it does not seem like he sold you out. However, after some macgyvering (Editors note: NOT A WORD!!!1!) In the end game of Saint Row 2. Selling the old gang for a corporate job. Tsk tsk. While Examiner.com is owed by a major soulless corporate entity (rhymes with Miacom), we are free to write as we please… at a limit and within constraints and with the blessing of HR and Management and the CEOs and the timetable set. (Editors note: U R soo fired idot)

Gabriel from Rainbow six: Vegas

The reason why he sold out the elite rainbow team to a group of terrorists pretty unclear. It is clear that Gabriel is a complete sell out. Everyone at Examiner.com knew it the whole time. Thanks to the kickbacks from Ubisoft for giving the two game a rating of 11/10.

Mega man

He’s Dead! He’s not dead, only stuck on the moon! He not on the moon, he’s on XBLA! Soo many mega man game that mess up the canon. You might need to look up the whois on mega man just to find out which of the mega mens (Editors note: mens or mans? Google it fucker!) you’re playing.

Albert Wesker

Sold out the Raccoon City PD the second he joined to test out his bioweapons in live fire situations. While it may be zombies, BOWs, Uroburos or leather trench coat salesmen, Albert will gladly take them on thanks to his own genetic enhancements. Speaking of, visit Examiner.com!

Mario

What can be said about Mario that hasn’t been said about Examiner.com? “Sold out”, “Whoring its base”, “Leeching off of others”, “Shameless”, “Likes it in the butt what what”, “etc”. Go easy on the dude. Sure it’s not nice but that life.

(Editors note:Make sure U don't post 2 much, that fucking hamza abu guy will ban you for doing it too much. Also, make another account as a chick for the girl gamer-related crap.)

I was bored, I had a shitty camera handy and I thought of this.

If I was to make a game about the SnakeDude4Life persona: I would hope it was a FPS or Third person shooter, something involving a plot with terrorists and zombies (and hopefully zomerrorists).

My favorite part of older games has always been the Unlockable suits; from Dino Crisis to Halo 3. Unlocking cool shit to wear while killing dudes is awesome, but I digress.

Here’s what unlockable costumes you can get in the video game version of SnakeDudes fictional game:

Street Snake



How to unlock: Press Start

Here’s the staring costume. Not much but it gets the job done. Just like the level one suit in Dead Space and the leather armor in Fallout, it’s the most basic level of protection against the bullets, undead hands and the ground (falling on it from 20 stories is a real killer).

Most people you’ll see on the multiplayer part wearing this suit will be Noobs or people playing the “I R SNAKE” meme.

GameNARP Snake



How to unlock: Beat “Tanks for the memories” and “A Bullets market” in colorblind mode and in the ultraviolence difficulty.

Now it’s time to get to work. As seen at the Miami GameNarp. Still not the bullet proof armor you were hoping for. However, you will have a bit more adrenaline to sprint farther and jump higher. In single player, some enemies will stop and try to see what your shirt saids before saying “I don’t get it.” Which gives you time to pop him in the head. Warning: Does not work on zombies, the blind and jaded hipsters.

Freedom Fighter Snake



How to unlock: Snipe the last bottle of Jarate in the hands of the Final bosses Final Form (Zombie Lincoln).

Near the end of the game, you’ll get to the big twist in the story (That guy is a ninja robot OMG!). It’s time for serious business. Using the old republican method of wrapping ones self in the US flag to give an appearance of patriotism. Unlike them, you’ll be the one dishing out the shock and awesome in operation Dual Eagle with Dual Desert Eagles.

This suit gives a bit more armor and gives you a third small slot for extra grenades, a sidearm or magazines.

Biohazard Snake



How to unlock: Find all the red ringed Xboxes, dusty PS3s and the Wii-ed TVs.

Here comes the heavy duty gear. Inspired by Resident Evils little known character HUNK, This suit will help when the shit hits the fan boys. While not “Bullet Proof” or “Fire Resistant” or “Safe”, Biohazard Snake can go toe to toe even with the most abusive zombie.

Overpowered in Multiplayer, I’m saying it.

Usually with this series, I use a template to write about two video game guns and a piece of armament. Today, I have taken some time to play a Mod for CoD4. Not just any Mod, A SINGLE player mod. It’s called Homefront: Downtown. Created by Copbaby, it’s a Level that takes place in the US. The back story is a bit iffy on the exact details… but who cares, I like to shoot sum turrists [Bushism].



As you can see the opening shot is a hell of a start. (Damn exploding car!) Expect your M4 SOPMOD to run out. While the map offers no preset weapon placements (Except for one), the terrorists tend to use G3s, shotguns, RDPs, AK-74s, AKSUs, and M9s when in last stand. Plenty, if you are really good at scouting for ammo.



The thing that I didn’t expect was the involvement of civilians during the firefights. Remember, these are “American” civilians. Not even Soldier of Fortune (The first one) did that. There is even a scene where you and a buddy save some old guy in a dark basement from two terrorists.



The Sniping scene is pretty bland… until you get to the real objective! You will NEVER get it the first time; it comes out of left field. Then a fire fight occurs again (Surprise!) and there are only explodable cars available to use as cover. The Choppa comes in and does what Choppas do.



Oh no… Da choppa git RPG’d. Honestly, who didn’t see that one coming? Save the pilot from the turrists.

And then the Pilot becomes a zombie and you knife her in a QTE, but not before a Spy backstabs your LT and your gun isn’t real! You were shooting hot lead with your MIND! Then the Jets nuke the town but you are THE ONE. So, you go to area 51 and save the princess who turns out to be the pilot who is the also THE ONE and still a zombie.

Okay. I’m making up that last part. I won’t ruin the ending.
Overall, the Mod is great sure it’s short and a bit odd to see great looking soldier models against the low resolution texture back ground. Still, it’s a good change to the whole depressing, drab “the horrors of war” feel in Single player.

If you have COD4 for PC, just get it. You can download it here and next time I’ll stay with the normal “Springs are under tension” format.