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Slick Icarus
11:12 AM on 07.16.2008

Meh.

I guess I should talk about the press conferences by the big three first. All in all, nothing exciting. Microsoft showed off a bunch of casual crap and games we already knew about, Nintendo showed off a bunch of casual crap and games we already knew about, Sony, well, you get my drift.



Alright, so the whole 1:1 add on for the Wiimote is cool, but what third party developer's gonna use it? Then again, I'm not too worried about it splitting the userbase in two, since Wii Sports Resort will likely be the best selling game of 2009. Wii Speak? Cool, but this should've been out with Brawl or Mario Kart. The only good news was that the Mario and Zelda teams are working on new games. Can you imagine what the Zelda team could do with the WiiMotion Plus? One to one boomerang throwing? I can only imagine. Oh yeah; GTA DS? Like Guitar Hero DS, I just have to wonder, why? Then again, does Nintendo really have to release anything new? They're making so much money, they can just throw out three games a year and still be successful. What really pissed me off though, was Miyamoto saying basically that Wii Fit snowboarding and Wii Sports Resort jet skiing is a suitable substitute for a new 1080 or Wave Race. Really? You care so much about broadening the audience you're not gonna make REAL games? /facepalm



On Microsoft's side, who really cares about the avatars? Being able to install 360 games for faster loads is a brilliant idea, given that install times aren't bad. I know alot of people who would give up a few minutes of their lives to never see another Mass Effect elevator again. But LiPs? Really freaking cool, provided imported songs sync up well with the generated note charts. I'm most curious how lyrics are gonna be handled on imported songs, too. Oh, and FF13 on 360? No surprise, given that Square announced that the Crystal Tools (FF13's game engine) was cross platform compatable. That and multiplatform = moar money. Don't be worried that it'll look any worse either. I'm guessing the differences between the two will be as minimal as GTA4's.



And Sony, well, the use of LittleBigPlanet to show how the company was doing was ingenious, Fat Princess and the new Ratchet PSN games look sweet, and the PS3 greatest hits lineup is promising, but what else was there? The God of War 3 trailer sucked. We know it's coming, but all you could show was Kratos on a house looking angry? No new team ICO game, no new Kingdom Hearts, nothing. Then again you can say the same about the other two. What I'm curious about is the 80 gig PS3. Supposedly it has the same features as the 40 gig. Which could mean it has no PS2 backwords compatability. Which, considering this is Sony we're talking about, wouldn't be too surprising.

The only thing exciting about E3 so far to me at least are the trailers and gameplay demos.



Mirror's Edge is probably my most anticipated game of the year. Visually it's nothing to write home about, but it's just so unique (a first person game that's not about killing Nazi's or aliens? Holy crap!) and the gameplay looks so fluid that I can't wait to get my hands on it.



Resident Evil 5? I wet my pants over this. Yes, it does look alot like RE4, but is that really a bad thing? The new enemies are awesome (that tentacle monster? Rad as hell.) And online co-op looks really great.



And even with my current disappointment over the current state of the Wii, MadWorld just looks AWESOME. It's the God Hand and Viewtiful Joe team, so I know these guys know how to make great brawlers. It's too bad it will probably sell like, three copies, a la No More Heroes and Zack and Wiki. DAMN YOU CARNIVAL GAMES! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!

As a final note, the official Rock Band 2 set list is quite possibly the best selection of licensed music in a game ever. Teenage Riot? Alive? Eye Of The Tiger? FUCK YEAHHH!!!










When I saw Wall-E yesterday, I noticed something in there that was missing from most every other film and game I had seen in the last few years: subtlety. Wall-E is a film with very little dialogue; the story is told through what you see. In a sense, you tell yourself the story. The problem with a majority of games nowadays is that they have no subtlety whatsoever. They cram everything into your head, they show and tell you everything, like a mother to her child. Whereas a game like Shadow of the Colossus or Half-Life 2 presents the story in a passive, its-up-to-you-to-figure-out-whats-going-on kind of way, something like a Metal Gear Solid (great games, mind you) have to explain every last bit of plot to you and just end up feeling convoluted and more complicated than they really are. Meanwhile, some games don't even try to tell a cohesive story (Ninja Gaiden 2) and just end up feeling stupid.

Look, all I'm saying is to assume the audience is smart enough to understand what you show them without you having to explain every last bit of freakin' plot to them. If a seven year old can understand the plot of Wall-E without being told anything, just watching it, then we sure as hell can figure out why the zombies are trying to eat our brains.

P.S. I love you Pixar and want to have your babies.











At least on WiiWare. According to WiiWare World, Eternity's Child is only coming to WiiWare in Europe; we'll still be able to play it on our porn viewers- I mean, PC's.

Apparently it's not "mainstream enough", according to Luc Bernard, and he goes on to state, quote, "Maybe I should just put in a space marine with a gun that is defending earth from space nazis for them to be interested!"

Meanwhile, we'll just have to stick with our crappy PS2 ports and our minigame collections. At least us U.S. gamers get Party Babyz.

It's a shame. I was really looking forward to this. Damn it, I wan't my artsy games and I want them now!










Spotted on GamesRadar.

Wow. I'm starting to worry about these girls and their inevetible back problems. Apparently Namco wasn't satisfied with just huge swords, as this concept art shows.

Now, I'm really excited about SoulCalibur IV, but sometimes I feel like they're taking it too far. And then I remember that I have a penis. And all is right in the world.

Moar below:









Check the link above for some gameplay videos as well as some art that wasn't sexy enough for my tastes but may be sexy enough for you.










For the three of you who actually care about the plot of Halo, The Cole Protocol has been announced. Seriously, does anybody really play Halo for the plot? Why would anybody want to read this when they could just play Halo 3 again or *gasp* read a real book? Lovecraft, Phillip K. Dick, Arthur C. Clarke, hell, even Douglas Adams, just to name a few. Anyway, maybe I'm just angry that literature has become such an ignored medium of entertainment. Maybe I should be happy that some people who would never read a book otherwise now have something to read.

Naaaah, I just hate Halo.








Why is it that Japan get's all the good horror movies when all we get are god awful remakes of their films like the Eye or the Grudge? Sigh. Well, those silly Japanese people (at least in the gaming press) got to preview the rad DS horror FPS (trust me, it works) Dementium in a jail that looks like somethin' out of Silent Hill, minus all the fog.


Here they are, having their heads pixelated. What is up with Japan and pixelating things?



I have no idea what's going on here, but believe me, they must be scared.

You can check out the preview here. Only it's in Japanese.

Thanks to Gonintendo.com for the link. If you can find a copy (or have a NOT R4), you should totally play Dementium.