If Kratos and Jackie Estacado adopted a gay baby... - Destructoid

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When you get as old as me, your hardcoreness
comes at the expense of a pill...

Who's pants are these?
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Would it have crazy redhead kickass written all over it? Burned in through some cosmic, spiritual, tutorial level magic fire crap perhaps? Or would they pick one that looked more like Kai...

I picked up Heavenly Sword on Friday afternoon, about 4 pm... Blockbuster down the road gets their shipment in late because their delivery guy likes to hit on the girls at the coffee shop next door, even though they are in their teens and he is approaching Picard age... (nerd meets bald).

So, now it's Monday, and since I've played through the game about 2 or 3 (hundred) times on normal mode now, I though I would take a stab at my hell mode game again, and see if I could make it past the first chapter without crying like a little girl...

Ok, well, maybe it's not THAT bad, but it took me easily three hours to finish the first flying fox encounter on hell mode, when it went like butta on normal mode, first try. That all being said, I've got to return the game tomorrow, and I've got to work this afternoon... I wonder if I can actually make it through hell mode on one rental... that would be the TRUE mark of a short game. Mind you, it's TRULY BEAUTIFUL, with a rich and layered story that leaves room for several sequels, and is quite moving, even for a guy, but man, it's short like "Flock of Seagulls" fame short

{{Update}} Shortest -- Game -- Ever... finished Hell mode 1/2 hr before Blockbuster opened, took it back first thing, hoping to find Dirt, Lair, or perhaps Stuntman... No Dice... back, thankfully, to Warhawk.

All that being said, the whole reason I sat down to write (other than my clever use of adoption humor) is a stunning realization I had yesterday when I went down to Gamestop to grab a copy of the Ratchet and Clank demo...

The Orange box, the next game I'm SURE I'll purchase,comes out on November 13 (along with Assassin's Creed and several others), or at least that's the current listed date for the PS3 on IGN... but RockBand comes out on the 20th, which for a former touring drummer (as long as Touring qualifies as my home state, and the 3 or 4 surrounding it)... Well... see... it's kinda like having someone finally dedicate a video game to frog baseball. It's always sounded like a good idea, but no one ever did it just right... Usually it's just a sloppy mess of frog guts...

So... even though I'm the biggest halflife nerd going, and know the path through the first two of HL2, I've got Episode 2, Portal, and all of the online options (which includes TF2, I'm not forgetting it) to finish ALONG with completing the first path, and trying to hit all the lambada stashes... make a point of hitting all the accomplishment's or whatever sony is calling them...

THEN, I've got to get a IV drip started, so I can begin the orgy of Rock and Drugs and Groupies and SuperStardom (all of which deserve capitalizations in their own rights) or at least me playing through the entire drum career of the game just to learn the songs, before going on to trying them on hard or expert (the easy looks too easy to mess up if you are actually playing all the minor notes and such, but what do I know, I've not played it yet... )

My question today is this? What is the best saline brand to put myself on, and what month long illness should I be researching now in order to clear my calender for these two games? And what about everything leading up to that point? Simpsons, Blacksite, Tony Hawk, Haze, Skate, the fricking list goes on and on...

Where were these games when I was pining for a shooter or adventure while trying to stay out of the 110+ heat down here in Phoenix? Warhawk? Ok, but that's only 1... and the stats are STILL messed up... or were friday...

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