Hello all! Here are my picks for games being released this June. There were a couple of others like Naruto, The Incredible Hulk and Size matters, but I am not interested in those. So here we go! The interesting releases for June...


Mass Effect – PC



The critically acclaimed virtual orgasmic rape simulator is here to grace our PC’s with its epic awesomeness. Complete with new hi-res textures, remapped controls, all new GUI and hotkeys for special commands and attacks. For anybody who doesn’t know about Mass Effect, it is a sci-fi tale that spans tons of different worlds, each being uniquely detailed, from the inhabitants and architecture of the planet, to the atmosphere and gravity. With one of the most in-depth stories and expansive dialogue trees known in gaming history, it ensures a great and unique experience from beginning to end.




Metal Gear Solid 4 – PS3



At long last Kojima’s biggest creation is here for us to play. Those who have been holding out since MGS3 to find out what happened to our beloved snake will have all of their answers soon. It’s safe to say, based on footage, that this game will implement everything that MGS fans have come to know and love, while updating its more flawed conventions to suit the new style of gameplay utilized for this installment; for instance, the fixed camera position has been totally axed, and has been replaced with a completely 'rotatable' camera. Or if that isn’t your thing, you can play through the entire game in first person mode!

As well as updated controls and graphics, some intuitive and intriguing stealth tactics have been nicely integrated, like hilariously crunching enemy testicles to render them unconscious, the optical camouflage suit that Snake can use to blend in with his surroundings and getting inside an empty oil drum to roll down enemies. On top of all these changes, the game will apparently take place in 5 totally new locations including ‘the Middle East’, ‘South America’ and Eastern Europe. Snake can also enter “flashbacks” when an on screen prompt appears, which allows him to replay certain parts of past missions from previous games to help you remember what happened at a certain point.




Ninja Gaiden II – 360



Everybody should have at least seen the screenshots by now, and should also know that this looks like the bloodiest game in history. Almost no screenshot has been taken where there isn’t a fountain of blood pouring from a wound where a limb used to be. Awesome attacks, stylish weapons, upgradable stats and beauuuuutiful graphics make this a title that anybody with a 360 should pick up. As with previous titles, the story isn’t exactly the most…intriguing. But who plays Ninja Gaiden for the story!? Nobody, that’s who. In closing, it’s pretty much like the other Ninja Gaidens except prettier and with more gore and more attacks.




The Bourne Conspiracy – PS3 / 360



I had the pleasure of playing the demo of this just yesterday and it surprised me to find how much I enjoyed it. The graphics aren’t amazing, the gameplay isn’t exactly innovative, consisting mostly of QTE events and the combat system is hardly in-depth considering you are meant to be Jason Bourne, who has a plethora of moves and abilities in his repertoire. You have the “Heavy Attack” button and the “Quick attack” button, each of which can be combined to create different combos and inflict different levels of damage; and if you hold either button for about 1.3 seconds you will do a heavy/quick kick attack that cannot be linked in to the already very limited combos.

But like I said before, I found myself having a lot of fun even though the fighting and graphics were rather limited. The frantic action sequences, the epic chases and even the fighting are more than adequate for a good and fun experience in the Bourne world. The game is far from being a solid product though, some events do not give you enough time to respond, some missions require to specific an action and nowhere near specific enough on screen guides, and a few other things are fairly glitchy. Even though I would not recommend buying this game just yet (wait until it’s cheaper!), I more than happily endorse the fact that you should give the game a rent if you liked the Bourne movies. Hell, I didn’t even like the movies that much thanks to Matt Damon’s giant face but there is no denying the sweetness of the action, and the game captures it pretty much spot on in my opinion.




Grid – PS3 / 360



I honestly had not looked at this game until just today. Judging by the art only, I had shrugged it off as just another NFSU clone, but was surprised to find a seriously nice looking racing sim behind the generic cover art. Featuring locations from around the world, with specific events and cars for each location, you race and race and race some more around predefined courses that look absolutely amazing. The lighting and physics look great, and whats more is the level of animation and destructibility they have included. You actually have a driver inside your car, that changes gears, steers and reacts to the environment, as does your cars structure; the driver is not much use unless you are driving from first person mode, until of course the replay function comes in and the game creates a beautiful looking replay of your race for you, composed of tons of different camera angles; it also gives you the option to pause, rewind and fast forward.

As for gameplay, it doesn’t seem to change things up any as far as racers go; it looks a LOT like Colin McRae DIRT, only on tarmac. You drive, you drift and you brake, but the one feature that caught my eye was a kind of “rewind” feature that is utilized mid-game, much like the Sands of Time, where if you crash or skid out and get shunted in to last place, you can rewind the game to a point of your choosing. I’m not sure how they will work earning a “rewind” in to the game, or whether all players simply get 1 per race or something, but it could be very interesting.




Battlefield: Bad Company – PS3 / 360



Ok, I’ve never been a huge fan of the Battlefield series, it’s always been to sterile, too impersonal for my liking; pretty much the way I think of most war games, even in modern day settings. They always use the generic guns, the generic characters and the same old fucking generic settings. It is pretty safe to say that if you have played one, you have played them all, so obviously the newest iteration of Battlefield was not on my radar, until I actually checked it out. Bad Company seems to be a pretty nice exception to the rule above, simply taking your usual war torn company where you are pretty much fighting the entire war yourself, and replacing it with a group of 4 soldiers known as ‘Company E’, or ‘Bad Company’; a group composed of soldiers that do not follow orders and play by there own rules. Your group finds out that there is a group of mercenaries for hire in the same war as you who are apparently being paid in gold, and that gold pretty much becomes your objective.

I’m really liking the idea, it’s dark and nicely satirical; it reminds me a lot of ‘Three Kings’, on the quest for Suddam’s gold. On top of the now not-so-crap storyline are the amazing destructible environments, where, and I quote, “90% of the environment can be destroyed”; and judging by the gameplay videos, that sounds about right. You can blow holes in houses, topple trees with tanks and devastate the ground with an artillery strike, creating indentations in the ground that you can take cover in. This, combined with the completely sandbox world will create a lot of awesome scenarios. I have been waiting years and years for a game where I can blow a hole in a wall if I wanted to, and now it is here.




Lego Indiana Jones – DS / PC / PS2 / PS3 / PSP / Wii / 360



Everybody knows and loves Indiana Jones, and if you don’t then you are not human. The Indy lego game, much like the Star Wars lego games, chronicles the 3 original chapters of Indiana Jones. We can pretty much expect there to be a slight hint of comedy strewn throughout the entire game, as has always been the case with the light hearted remakes; but I will be interested to see how they portray the not-Nazi’s in the game, as I haven’t seen any footage/images of them yet. I think Indiana Jones’ adventures will translate very well to a game, seeing as a lot of the Indiana Jones films revolve around puzzles solving and traps, it should make a good adventure.



So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed reading/looking/whatever. Now I am going to go get some food!