Okay, Dtoid, check this shit out. This here's a metal slime.



First off, he was designed by Akira Toriyama, the guy who made Dragon Ball. Can you name the guy who designed Ekans? Did he create a wildly popular, meme-spouting anime series? Well, I guess he did, but it doesn't count when it's the same series that Ekans came from. Fuck it, point goes to metal slime.

Okay, here's where it gets real, dawgs. My boy metal slime here has, like, a shitton of health. He's just loaded in health. Swimming in it. He eats health for breakfast, lunch and dinner and shits health at night. He's like a health fountain. Health point goes to metal slime (not that he needs it).

Secondly, he runs from battle. Now, this would normally be a sign of cowardice, but the metal slime ain't no coward. No, he's a fucking pacifist, man, like Gandhi, or Buddha. He's too enlightened to fight you adventuring types. He's got better things to do while you're out there beating up helpless superpowered animals. In fact, he's better than Gandhi or Buddha because he's fucking shiny and the only time Gandhi or Buddha would ever be shiny is if you seriously waxed up their forehead or belly, respectively. Metal slime is shiny all the time. He's like a mobile piece of bling. A merciful, enlightened mobile piece of bling. Point goes to metal slime.

Third, he looks like a teardrop, and he can still kick your ass. You'll cry, and your tears will look like him. That's called IRONY, bitches.

I hope this was enlightening.

Metal slime, peace out.