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Hey look buddy. I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean muther hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous behind? The answer? Is a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun. Like this heavy caliber tripod lil' ole number, designed by me, and built by me. And you best hope, I don't point it at you.

I use teh GOOZEX

I enjoy most FPS mostly Team Fortress 2, and I am an MMO whore

Following (26)  

Throughout the days, many o' xbox gamer have shipped their best friends out in a cardboard coffin. There are stories behind every xbox, from refurbished ugly xboxes, to month long ship back times. But this story is saddening and a bit disturbing.

The gamer named "Nathaniel" shipped off his RROD xbox to the heartless bastards at MS with hope in his heart that they would fix and ship back his special buddy.

I personally didn't have much to say about MS after I shipped my xbox, except for thanks for the new faceplate on the refurbished machine! (I broke my first faceplate and removed it before I sent it in got a new faceplate on the xbox.) All I can really say about this is it's pretty ridiculous that they would destroy a piece of artwork that was customized onto the xbox. I'm not sure if Nathaniel necessarily should get paid for his losses, but MS owes him something.

In the spirit of Christmas and caroling and whatever communists do on this holiday. I bring you joy in the form of video. May be old but always good for a hearty X-mas laugh.

Plus, as promised I bring you a gift you should have gotten somebody last year! It fits right in here at the Destructoid community as I'm sure many of you have seen it. I bring you also box.

The comments are pure genius.

Simmons 2pt0
1:40 AM on 11.26.2007

First off, we've got a sweet flip-book movie which could have been better with sounds like *Vwing* and *Shazam!* but very impressive nonetheless. There was recently another movie released based on ze Matrix . I remember trying to make flip-book movies as a child that usually involved some sort of stick figure sexual act or some sort of stick figure getting crushed most comically by an anvil.

Secondly, we've got these robot "legs" that are supposedly the fastest robot legs in the world. On top of that, they contour to any ground they walk on. Now, I'm sure from watching the video you're not scared of them, but just think, walking down the street at night and these things come running at you, fuck that.

Next up, Swiss man Yves Rossy made himself a flyin' machine, slash gliding machine. Watch as he jumps out of the plane and flies safely to the ground, pushing us closer to Self Contained Flying Apparatus. SCFA may be harder to say than SCUBA, but it's manlier that's for sure. Remember when everybody in school used to make fun of you because you knew jet packs were the way of the future? No? Ya, me neither.....

Finally, to keep this game related I'll end off on a new Crysis gameplay video called "Dock Assault." Beautiful! The game is looking great still and Crytek has a sweet game on it's hands. Although from watching the video it seems as though the AI may be a bit lacking in the brains division. Is it just me?

George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher from the death metal band Cannibal Corpse speaks about his family and how WoW has impacted him. A very touching video to say the least.

Lucky 7's that's gotta mean something right? This on the heels of Bfeld's OVER 9000!

It's all downhill from here ladies and gents. This week is the release of the the game we call Rock Band. With the oncoming approach of said game, I decided to do another one of these here thingies. Er clogs.

Reel Big Fish-Beer

Punk ska is an interesting genre that originated sometime during the early 90's late 80's. It's great, not because it's the most intricate of musics, but because the melding of instruments. How can you not love punk ska? If you're a fascist that's how. The song is great as it has challenging parts for everyone, but it's not the hardest song to play. It's one of the songs you'd love to play because it's fun, not because it's hard. A great party song, end o' story.

Anthrax and Public Enemy-Bring The Noise

Yeeeah Boyeee. Possibly the first metal/rap collaboration could be given credit for launching the genre itself. Chuck D from Public Enemy and Scott Ian from Anthrax got together to make perfect harmony. Ebony and Ivory of sorts, except, Chuck D isn't blind and Ian isn't a gay british dude with a huge gap in his teeth. The song itself is a lot like all Anthrax songs. Hardcore thrash for all the instruments, trying to play as fast as possible. The vocals are no pushover either. The singing parts are fast and rough with a great rap feel. Bring the noise suckas.

Primus-Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

Wynona had herself a big brown beaver. Only a man with the likeness of Haysus Christ writes lyrics that inspiring. Professor Claypool is the teacher today and the lesson is Bass 101. Primus would be the song that challenges the bass player, while making the singer feel like he just punted a puppy. Can't help but laugh while reading through the lyrics with all the sexual innuendos. In your endo.

Rush-Test For Echo

Neil motherfucking Peart.

Well that's all for this issue. Not sure if I'll continue after Rock Band's release but we shall see. Any questions/comments are encouraged down beeelooooowwwww.