Let me tell you something guys that you should really learn if you don’t know it already. It really sucks when your girlfriend/wife is constantly right and you are constantly wrong. Last night I sat down and allowed myself to believe the 2008 Video Game Awards would actually be good, but my girlfriend went to bed reminding me how much she thought the show was going to suck. Well after 2 completely wasted hours of my life, I have to now once again admit that she was right and I was wrong, because the 2008 VGAs were absolutely incredibly horrible.

How could I have allowed myself to actually believe that this year’s show would be any different then the past 5 years’? Was it the opportunity to see a ton of World Premiers that swayed me, or was it the fact gametrailers.com was sponsoring it and I didn’t think they would let the show screw up that bad. Maybe I just felt the industry had finally matured to the point that a serious award show could be put together that would actually highlight some of the awesome games and people who make the gaming industry so great. Well no matter what it was that caused me to think the 2008 VGAs might be good, I was completely wrong, because the show was a disaster.

After watching the 2008 VGAs I was actually disgusted to support an industry that would allow an awards show like that to even be put on the air. Actually I’m not even sure it should the called an award show. It was really just a two hour advertisement and a chance for B and C-class movie stars, music stars, and supermodels to get on stage, say stupid stuff about video games, and promote their new movies and albums. The actual “awards” part of the show only took up about 5% of the total 2 hours. I should digress though before I go too far because I told myself I was not going to write a really long article about this. You see I have so much to say I have decided to show you guys a list of all the reasons I hated the 2008 Video Game Awards, that way this is much easier to read.

So with further ado, I present, not in any particular order, the top 15 reasons why the 2008 Video Game Awards were an EPIC FAIL:

1) The entire show started with Jack Black coming out on stage in his underwear.
I should have known right then and there that this awards show was not going to take itself or the video game industry seriously, but I actually blew it off and allowed myself to think the show would get better. Unfortunately from the very start it only got worse.



2) It took 25 minutes before the 1st Award was handed out.
You would think that it wouldn’t take that long to get to the first award in an awards show, but not in the 2008 VGAs. No it took 25 minutes before the first award was given out, and of course the award, which was for best shooter of the year, was given out to the game that had just been advertised for the first 25 minutes of the show, Gears of War 2. What a shocker.

3) Only 6 Awards were actually presented all night
Yep that’s right, only 6 awards all night. These awards were for Game of the Year, Best Shooter, Best RPG, Best Music Game, Best Independent Game, and Studio of the Year. All of the other games that won their corresponding categories were simply listed off near the end of the show in a quick 2 minutes segment. You would think that a VIDEO GAME AWARDS show would be about the AWARDS. Well if that’s the case you would be WRONG!

4) Most of the people who got up onstage to give awards and announce new games were B and C-class movie stars, music stars, and supermodels.
When you watch the Oscars, do a bunch of music stars and supermodels get up on stage to hand out the awards, or to announce new movies? NO!!! The Oscars are presented by people from the industry, to people from the industry. That is how the VGAs should be. There should be people who are actually from the industry, like Will Wright, Cliffy B, and Geoff Keighley, up on stage giving away the awards. I don’t want, or need, to see supermodels giving out awards. If I wanted to see hot girls I would just go on the internet, or look at my girlfriend.

5) Jack Black was barely the host of the show at all
So one thing that actually did excite me about the show was the fact Jack Black would be hosting. The problem is that he barely was the host at all. Besides the opening musical number, and the big Brutal Legend debut at the end of the show, Jack Black was barely in the show. Instead the actual host was some female voiceover who was cold and harsh. Why bother getting Jack Black as the host, if he’s not actually going to be the host?



6) What was up with the women dressed up like silver angels?
Seriously what was that about? Was that related to some game I have never played or don’t know anything about, because as far as I know, no game has ever had silver angels who hang from swings, in it before. If that’s the case, why the hell were they in the show, and why were they suspended on swings?

7) People were introduced, to introduce people, to introduce game trailers
All I have to say is Peter Moore was presented, to get up to introduce Mike Tyson, who got up to introduce the game trailer for the new Fight Night game. Do I really need to say anything else then that?

8) The game trailers SUCKED!
Most of the trailers were way to short, showed disappointing next-gen graphics, displayed little or no actual game play, and were in general, very bland. The only exception to the rule was the Brutal Legend trailer and the new GTA: DLC trailer. Those rocked.

9) Neil Patrick Harris forgot who the Best Independent Game winner was on-stage!
I mean how freaking hard could it have been to remember this? I mean I love Neil, I really do, but he just looked like a complete ass up on stage when he did this. It was just embarrassing to watch.



10) The God of War 3 trailer was horrible!
How hard could it have been for Sony to get this right. I mean I realize that they are completely F’ing up with the PS3 right now, but it shouldn’t be hard to get the first game play trailer for the sequel to one of the most beloved PS2 games of all time right. Show Kratos standing in front of huge beautiful vistas, as he says some campy one liner about how he will bring about the end of the Gods. Then show him kicking lots and lots of ass in ways no one has ever seen. Shouldn’t be that hard right? WRONG! The trailer lasted about 15 seconds and showed game play that I swore was just scenes from God of War 2 redone in 720p. Damnit Sony wake up!

11) Jack Black got the Konami code WRONG
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A. HOW HARD IS THAT TO REMEMBER! Moron!

12) More time was spent promoting the new Mall Cop movie, then any actual game in the awards
This is just so pathetic I don’t know what else to say.



13) Busta Rhymes doesn’t like trailers that aren’t “in-engine”
This might have been the most insightful thing said the entire night, by anyone, at all.

14) The entire show was a 2 hour advertisement.
If the show wasn’t trying to advertise specific games, like Call of Duty: World at War or Gears of War 2I, it was trying to advertise Mountain Dew or GameStop. My friend who is in advertising got it right when she told me that “advertising is taking over the world”. Well I don’t know about the world, but it’s definitely taking over the gaming industry as a whole.

15) Megan Fox presented the award for Game of the Year.
Ok, so really this goes back to me ranting about how movie and music stars shouldn’t be presenting video game awards, but I really just need to rant about this one in particular. Now don’t get me wrong, Megan Fox is hot, but she should not be presenting the most prestigious award of the night. It should be someone who has won the award before, or someone who is extremely respected in the game industry, like Gabe Newell or Sid Meier. Not some horrible actress who only has her looks to keep her horrible acting career afloat.



Closing Thoughts
When I finished watching the 2008 Video Game Awards I actually felt disgusted. The entire time I was watching the show I felt like the video game industry still does not get treated with any respect from the rest of the entertainment industry. All they see games as now is an advertising machine. I thought that huge strides had been made in legitimizing the industry in the eyes of the rest of the world, but I guess I am wrong.

An awards show should be about the AWARDS and about highlighting some of the great accomplishments of the year in the video game industry. It should not be about showing off models wearing skimpy clothing, or about B and C-grade movie stars and music stars making appearances to promote their new movies or new albums. It should be a time to come together as gamers and celebrate how great of a time it is right now to be a gamer. Instead all we get treated to is a reminder that the rest of the world still does not take us seriously.

If I was in charge there are so many changes I would have made. First of all the show would have been hosted by someone who is well known in the industry, like Geoff Keighley, Cliffy B, or Jeff Gerstmann. Second I would have only invited people from the games industry, and maybe a couple of movie or music stars who I know were there to promote video games because they love them. Third I would have actually presented the awards to the people who won them, and allowed them to get on stage to thank everyone who helped make their great accomplishments possible. Fourth, I would have only included trailers for games that were of high quality that really showed how great the games were going to be. Fifth, I would have included some type of segment that looked back at all the great games of 2008, and showed why it was such a great year to be a gamer. Finally, I would have invited the actual gamers themselves to come and be in the audience, so the winners could get recognition from the people they actually make the games for.

A video game awards show should be about the people who make games, and the gamers who play them. Until the entertainment industry understands that, the VGAs will never be taken seriously by anyone, in or out of the industry.