Now, I can't recall what started this recent trend of posting our console gaming rigs. (Was it a contest? A monthly project? I don't remember.) Whatever it was, I've enjoyed seeing your setups. Some have been truly drool-worthy, while others have been pity-inducing. Well, dear ladies and gentlemen, enough nonsense. Enough shenanigans. Time to get down to business.

Serious business.

I now introduce to you, my gaming rig. You've lusted over my elaborate, epic network of computer(s). I've heard your cries of, "Damn, Sharpless, you are so amazing. How can I be like you in your technological superiority? Tell me your secrets." Now, you will envy console rig. Let us have a look, shall we?



This is my television of choice. Chosen from a selection of millions of television appliances, this television was selected due to its excellent craftsmanship. Notice the seamless blending of the television unit with the videocassette recorder (VCR). This television is so incredible that I do not even need the remote that supposedly came with it, nor do I need to know how to program the channels. Not necessary. In fact, it was so amazing that it was given to me. I tried to pay its full value, but the owner refused, on the grounds that I was too awesome.



The finest in high-technology, the Microsoft Xbox home entertainment system is a triumph of science and, yes, it has its home in my dwelling space. Advanced gaming technologies dance through its processors and computer chips, utilizing RCA connectivity to broadcast the finest in video gaming. "The Halo," "Star Wars In LEGOs," "Fables" -- they are all here. And they are played by me. Also, plays the new DVD standard DVDs. Oh my.



Though not video gaming related, you will be excited to see this, the latest in videocassette recorder (VCR) "tech." It has four (4) heads, up from the industry standard one (1), for much smoother playback and high-definition video presentations.



When operating such exquisite entertainment hardware, one must enjoy it in only the most luxurious accommodations. As you can see here, no expense was spared. Only the finest. This is living. This is the high-life.



But what good is all that luxury without award-winning movies, television programs, and video gaming entertainment software to enjoy? Here you can see my collection of thousands of video games, as well as a treasure trove of DVDs and -- for the bookworms in the audience -- reading materials.



I am, however, not confined to the realm of television-based gaming. Yes, here you see before you the legendary Sega Game Gear, long heralded as the first and finest handheld gaming device the world has ever seen. Capable of producing a whole 8 bits of gaming, with up to an astounding 16KB(!) of video RAM and a 160 x 144 pixel display area. Comes with "Sonic The King of The Jungle" and "Chuck Rock."



And finally, I present to you my vast array of video gaming entertainment consoles. Every console ever made, right here in my entertainment center, as illustrated in the above picture. The NES, SNES, SG, and N64, each and every one is still fully functional and working perfectly (except for the N64, which doesn't work). From here, such games as "Jackal" and "Yoshi's Cookie" are played, classics like "Tecmo NBA Basketball" and "Elevator Action" are pumped through coaxial cables. It is glorious. It is better than sex.

In closing, this is my gaming setup. Fuck you for not having it.