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Sharmsie avatar 6:56 PM on 04.24.2008
I want you to dualshock me

Thats right, in preparation for mgs4, a game the hype machine has led me to believe is better than sex, with a woman, of the very attractive variety, while eating ice cream, I have imported a dual shock 3. I'm not even going to rant about the absurd Australian prices, there is a much much more serious matter at hand.

The cause of this problem, is as a friend informed me, the complete 'pussification' of rumble. For comparisons sake we felt it was akin to a Bjork concert compared to say, any kind of music with balls. I do understand the technical reasons for this, and the added weight to the controller is much appreciated. It makes the controller feel more sturdy and less like a cheap plastic shell. Even the white finish is nice although after a few weeks of use I may regret my colour choice. But no, the fact that this is a great upgrade to the six axis is not my concern.

What we are worried about is the original intended use of a rumble controller. Jollies

Yes, those jollies. The kind of sick twisted activities that have crossed most peoples minds at least once. The thought of such an idea does make the normal person think twice about picking up a friends controller with out throughly wiping it down. Hell Japanese Rez owners received the trance vibrator, a device whose gameplay enhancements were lost upon most.

But now thanks to Sony, I don't have to worry about such horrors. No body would derive any kind of stimulating pleasure from the dual shock 3's rumble feature. So thank you Sony, I no longer have to live in creepy disgusted fear of my friends controllers.

But hey, rumble is still better than no rumble.

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