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ShadeOfLight avatar 4:13 PM on 01.21.2011  (server time)
How to raise your ShadeOfLight: a belated Introduction

Hello Destructoid, and thank you for buying your very own ShadeOfLight! Changing the price to 'free' was apparently a good choice, since sales have recently skyrocketed (relatively) and we have now sold exactly one. We of SoLcorp would like to add that we are very proud of this achievement.

We trust that you have had some experience already in dealing with this creature. However, we have also imagined that it could be helpful to get to know this being a little better. Therefore, we will provide you with some general tips on how to properly raise your new ShadeOfLight (or 'Peter' as it is sometimes known). We hope that you will have good experiences with your purchase and that you will have a fun, thought-provoking or just allround good time in raising and dealing with it.
(SoLcorp cannot be held responsible for any failure of the ShadeOfLight to meet such standards)


Tips on how to raise your new ShadeOfLight:

1) Be aware that this creature is unapologetically Dutch. Make of that what you will.
1a) As it is also often considered a law student, there is no harm in asking it for a legal discussion. However, it has a tendency to start talking out of its ass, desperately trying to make sense. When this happens, never take anything it says on its word. Keep grains of salt nearby.

2) Please be advised that the ShadeOfLight is very much a gaming creature. You would do well to make sure that it always has enough games to play. Consequently, you will also always have something to talk about.
2a) The creature tends to prefer games by Nintendo to others. While it may not be as familiar with games that are only available on the Xbox 360 or PS3, it usually tries to keep track of everything and while it will always be aware that it is not in the perfect position to discuss these games, it feels that it often has enough information (gained from others) to form at least some sort of opinion.
2b) Favorite genres of the ShadeOfLight include platformers (see the above point) and RPGs. Talking about such genres will thus surely keep its interest and might spark some nice discussion.
2c) Please be cautious when mentioning the game Baten Kaitos to it. The creature seems to have a sort of obsession with that game; it will be very able to talk about it for the rest of the day. Be prepared for this. This also applies to Xenoblade (see below) by the same developers: it will not pass up the chance to mention that game, or how much it wishes that this would come to Europe.
2d) In contrast, it usually displays little interest in First Person Shooters. The ShadeOfLight has enjoyed some FPSes in the past, but only very rarely. Therefore, we do not recommend giving it a random FPS on pure chance.
2e) Similarly, it does not seem to like Real Time Strategy games. It has been unable to like any RTS besides the recently released Aurora, which is a very stripped down version, so might not even count. Not even the Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle-Earth games were able to bring any change to that, despite the fact that the ShadeOfLight considers itself a LotR fan.
Smarter would be to provide it with a Turn Based Strategy game, since it does appreciate those, strangely. Fire Emblem is recommended.

We have yet to find a way to get the creature to shut up about Xenoblade. Not showing it a picture such as this is a good place to start, however.

3) This being is a fan of almost anything fantasy. The Wheel of Time series is a good choice.
3a) Please remember that this does not apply to Harry Potter, as the ShadeOfLight finds that, quote: "the magic in Harry Potter is just incredibly lame!" and that "Gandalf, Rand Al'thor and Dr. Strange could kick Potter's ass with their eyes closed". A valid point, we must admit.

4) When on the subject of music, you would do well to keep anything rap or r&b away from this creature. It will instantly rage upon hearing the words 'nigga', 'bitches' or 'ho's' when used without a trace of irony. Make sure that creators of such works are at a safe distance when this happens, since it will want to strangle them.
4a) Instead, soundtracks of video games are always a good option. If the soundtrack belongs to a game that it has already played, even better. You can never go wrong with the soundtrack to Baten Kaitos, but please remain aware of tip 2c.

5) Contrary to popular belief, it is perfectly safe to pour water on a ShadeOfLight, or to feed it after midnight.


Thank you for reading these guidelines and for your attention. We of SoLcorp trust that you have learned something about the interests and disinterests of the ShadeOfLight by reading this. We hope you will have a worthwhile experience with it and that it will add something with at least some sort of quality to the site.
We would finally like to say that this was in no way an attempt to write an introduction (a couple of weeks after it would make sense to post it) to the cbloggers written in a 'unique' (read: weird) style to attract some attention and justify it being on the cBlog list in the first place. That is simply not the case at all. Really.

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