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SeymourDuncan17's blog

Seymour's Guilt-Tripped 9 Favorite Dtoiders List
12:54 AM on 02.25.2015
6:51 PM on 02.20.2015
protesting the establishment, but, mostly, right here and now. 

I've already detailed ten people/creatures I would be more than happy to get happy with, but ever since shortly after posting that and witnessing the feedback it got, I've felt as if I've let some of you down. 


Look at how excited they are! There's only 3 things you get that excited over: 

1.) Exam results

2.) Landing that job

3.) Butts

The butt is evolution's way of saying it cares. It is one of THE greatest things ever.


Now, this is KIND of (I'll explain) a recent fetish. At this point, it's actually one of my most passionate. 

I used to think I became interested in dudes out of boredum with the fairer sex because, if I'm being totally honest with myself, I haven't had a single successful relationship with a female. I've had what could be described as "flings", never a real significant other. Whether it was because I wasn't assertive enough or she simply wasn't interested, I haven't had much luck. 

But, in retrospect, I've always been interested in the peen. Without going into too much detail, even at the early stages of puberty, I never considered dudes any different than gals. I was just suddenly finding the general human body... tantaliizing. Somewhere down the line, though, for whatever reason, I began putting those fantasies behind me. Perhaps it was because most, if not all, the attention I had been receiving, at the time, was from the females. So, naturally, I guess my brain began to heavily associate with girls. Cooties and all. 

As I've grown in these last couple (rather tough) years, I've done a lot of digging around in my head. Who I am, what I've gone through, what I what, etc. And given the amount of (eheh) personal time I still have to myself, it was only so long before these urges would begin to creep back up. 

androgynous boys, but that does help. If they wanna put on lady's garments and high heels, be my guest. In vidja game terms, you might find me fawning over the likes of Link, Yosuke, Ringabel, Jonathan, etc. 

Fetish Blog: Return of the Shag
6:57 PM on 02.14.2015
I Love Shoji Meguro (featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry Series)
7:11 PM on 02.11.2015
When I look into your eyes...
6:34 PM on 02.07.2015
(VIDEO) Persona 5cast: Me and two friends analyze the new trailer
6:57 AM on 02.06.2015

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Just a guy who loves video games and music. Also artist on the rise!... maybe!

Wanna talk? I'm friendly. Wanna play? Shore. ESPECIALLY ROCK BAND BECAUSE I LOVE ROCKING OUT WITH MY COCK OUT!!!!!!

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You guys have had a lot of love to give with our latest little blog trend and that's been equal parts exciting, heartwarming, sexy, inspirational, all sorts of feelings. Good feelings. Problem with me is I typically keep all that gooey, bubbly love of mine locked up for very very special occasions. Probably because I'm afraid I would go too far and go totally yandere on all of you. 

Pictured here: Me and you. Yes, you.

That and, like many have already been over, it's very hard to narrow it down to just 9 people. I don't like making people feel sad or left out. Even people I dislike. I only wish bad things on truly bad people and feeling sad is bad, right? Right. You can see the bind I'm in. 

I really really love this community. I do. If you're reading this, there's a very high chance you are just as lovely a person as anyone I happen to list down below. There are many variables to how these folks ended up on my list. Timing, personal exchanges, having that rare gusto to really put themselves out there as "them" on this Internet and not just a username who says some words (like me). 

Don't put yourself down too much, guy. You're great!

... i-.. is it okay if I touch you there? 

Yeaaaah. It's okay. Really bring it in, now. 

Aw yes. 

Andy "The New Age Gigan" Dixon

Andy makes sure the community at large stays afloat. The community that means so damn much to you and me. There are many other mods that do their work well, yes, but Andy probably has the most pressence (if you know what I mean) of any of them. Seph and his charming Robocop/Metal Gear Rising infactuation and blunt attitude, Occams and his totally out there and surprise comments, but Andy is something else. 

How could you ever mistake Andy fucking Dixon? He always comes in to either lighten the mood or lay down the law, usually when it's most needed. Nonetheless, no matter the circumstances, no matter who you are (nature, creed or color), he's giving you an uplifting (if you know what I mean) thumbs up. 

He really knows how to put his thumbs up (if you know what I mean). 

I can't deny that, without him, things wouldn't be the same around here. Not just within our community podcasts or the cblogs, but as well as the FP. Less so about his significance to just me personally, he is a very crucial element of what makes Destructoid as awesome as it is and why I come here everyday. He is the mysterious white fluid that inconspicuously ladens about the walls and keeps us stuck together through thick and thin. 

(if you know what I mean)

Gajknight and Nekrosys, "The Unproblems"

Not too long ago, I wasn't quite as open with the more eccentric side of my personality as I am now. A part of me I kept locked away from most people as it's a particularly difficult part of me (heck, anyone) to express without coming off obnoxious or simply far too weird. 

Since interacting more and more with Gaj and Nekro, though, I've honed my senses and trained my body in ways unconventional to most other humans. Ways that would drive a sane man mad and a mad man sane, test the will of a sage, bring a seasoned warrior to his knees. But, with bright lights guiding, wrists aching, and sweat shooting from every pore, I came out the other side and a better man. Cue the angelic chorus!

That first fetish blog of mine was, despite my seemingly confident writing, just a little scary to put out there for all to see. People I love and respect now have clear and easy access to what, metaphorically speaking, overheats my hard drive. Holy heck. Do I still have time to delete that? Make a switchoroo? But, as I awoke that following morning, I was surprised by the positive reception it got and felt stupid thinking that, even for a second, of all places, Destructoid would disapprove. 

I love it whenever I get a chance to even just exchange a passing though loving glance with either of these two. They help bring out the side of me I thought was best to keep to myself like it was something I should be ashamed of and now it bleeds into much of what I do on The Internet. 

Keep it sexy, you sexy boys. 

Mike "M'lady" Martin

Better known as PhilKenSebben. But, alas, c-c-c-changes!

Mike, here? One hell of a human being. He's on this list out of sheer respect. I think most here know of the bollocks and hardship he and his family have gone through these last couple or so years and it's fucking amazing that he's able to keep up his fun-loving and brash though kind-hearted persona through all of it. Always seemed like a man who sees his glass half-full, knowing there's greener grass just over that slippery, poopy brown hill. Still more Vaseline in those clamped containers. I am honored to have even been acknowledged a time or two by him. 

It puts my own life into perspective and makes me want to do better. What I've been through is nothing compared to what some others have gone through and sometimes even learned from. Self-improvement has recently become somewhat of an addiction of mine and it's much easier to see myself through the hardest of it all when I think of people like Mike. 

More than anyone else on Destructoid at the moment, he is an honest-to-goodness inspiration. 

The Amazing Benny Disco

Benny may not be a seasoned vet or even around much anymore, but, for a good while, he was one of the best reasons to click every FP article that seemed even remotely interesting. He made those comments sections come alive. You'd even occasionally catch him still shootin' the shit and publishing absolute gold even when an article had long passed it's relevance.

He was also one part of the trio that made up the now dormant community podcast Not'Toid. More than a worthy contender for the most Podtoid thing besides our own Podtoid, it was a very fun podcast in it's own right. I looked forward to it every week... as short-lived as it was. 

I think I speak for anyone here who's had the pleasure of witnessing Benny in action when I say "We miss you. Not just your comments or your podcasts or your super saiyan frog icon, but we miss you.". This community needs every weird, slightly-broken, deliquent motherfucker it can find room for in that smelly old broom closet that is Destructoid.

Occams, I found a shark in Bioshock. Bioshark!

Does it surprise anyone that Occams has practically been on every 9 Dtoiders list thus far? Next to Andy, Occams absolutely embodies Destructoid and often emits that same brilliance that Benny once did. Only Occams doesn't leave us for reasons I can only assume are no good, making me cry like a car alarm. 

Occams is like a giant penis that wraps itself around you and whispers into your ear, through it's urethra, things sometimes just a little disturbing. But, you then start to appreciate the smooth texture and the overwhelming sense of love in every pulsing caress. It's warmth becomes intoxicating and you fall for it. You fall for it's siren song everytime, always wanting more. 

Not just his humor, but he's also really really nice. When he's not making me laugh, he's at least making me smile. If a positive outlook is the best medicine, this man could honestly cure cancer while simultaneously fronting a folk metal cover band and frying ostrich eggs with his feet. 

Pinkie swear that you won't ever leave us, Occams. 

Our bossum buddy, Dreamweaver

While Occams is our resident jester and generally happy dude, Dreamweaver is almost like a brother to everyone. There are only a handful of people I can say are next-level cuddly and understanding, but Dreamweaver is definitely one of them. Just thinking about him, I feel good. I'm afraid that if we hugged, things would get really awkward just below the equator, then he'd blush and shout "BAKA!". Then we'd just shake hands without making eye contact. 

He's opened up to us about some real heavy stuff a time or two, he's hardly (if ever) had a single cross word to say to anyone, he's name is fucking Dreamweaver! If you don't feel at least a sliver of an urge to bro up with this little dude some time, there's something up with that. Buy a couple Sonic slushies, chill, and talk to him about video games. I'm adding that to my bucket list. 

Whatever crazy stuff you happen to be going through or will go through, Dream, know you deserve to pull through. Chin up and keep being a bro!

Elsa, Community Mother

Me and Elsa haven't had much contact, but I've always quietly held a great amount of respect for her. One of the few times me and her have had direct contact, she was putting me in my place. That's her thing. I wasn't even mad. She is one smart cookie.

She always puts a tremendous amount of effort into her comments, whether regarding video games, politics, social climate, whatever. She'll rant about almost anything and kick your ass doing it. I mean, if your words were your ass. She says the words better than you, at the least. Whereas most on The Internet likely couldn't care less about how they come across because of their anonymity, Elsa is as lovely and thorough as she probably is off The Internet. Her husband is one lucky guy. 

Also, let's not beat around the bush: She's old and she likes video games. That's pretty fucking cool. 

Johnny "Macho Libre" Luchador

Of any community member who has left Destructoid, Johnny Luchador is the one I miss the most. Easily. 

He was the reason that I, unlike most, was happy that Destructoid had once decided to force embedded streams on the front page whenever they were live. That meant my chances of missing one of his shows fell dramatically and, from what little I was able to catch, he was such a surreal and insanely hilarious dude. 

He had great back and forth's with his chat, welcomed familiar faces, had plenty of exciting commentary, all the things that make a Twitch personality worth watching. But, Johnny took things a few steps further. He not only had splendid oral presentation (eheh), but his visual assaults were just as awesome. I wish I could somehow screen his Halloween Rad Show he did back in 2013 because it would do wonders in proving my point. He went above and beyond, which is something like 99% of Twitch streamers have about zero interest in.

He's still doing his thing via VideoGameCircus, which I should totally start watching already, but Destructoid? It has felt so much more empty since his departure. He's a one of a kind and Destructoid should be grateful to have had him. I salute you, Lucha, and keep up the terrific work!




Dale North; Kyle MacGregor; Steven Hansen; Laura Kate Dale; uhh....

Basically anyone on staff that loves Persona and it's plethora of husbandos and waifus.

Chris "Lil' Pumpy" Carter

How do you fucking play so many fucking games, do the amiibos, keep up with your monstrous collection of other stuff, have a wife, write for Destructoid more than anyone else, and still have time to write The X-Files? (HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S ORIGINAL, INNIT?)

Jim "Fucking" Sterling, Son

This was the man that steered Podtoid from a video games podcast (what the hell) off a country road and into a realm of magic and Jonathan Holmes' chungus, what has, in this past year and a half of extensive backlogging, become my favorite thing on The Internet. Not only that, but between Jimquisition, Podtoid, Dismal Jesters, Podquisition, his reviews, his YouTube LP's, Fistshark Marketing (though, I haven't actually listened to much of that yet), etc. he has provided me countless hours of superb content that I will continue to treasure until he's finally fed up with being the fat fuck who talks a lot about video games. 

Whether he's here or there, infamous to some and a messiah to most, he's the man. 


It doesn't take long to see why, but, despite my choice of header, Jonathan is just about the smileyest man I know. Second only to Big Man Tyrone

While some here really don't like 'em, I find it incredibly hard to imagine staying mad at a man like Holmes. He can come off a little condescending on occasion (whether intentional or not), but I know that behind that keyboard and computer screen is a truly swell man who has, like Sterling did for Podtoid for it's remainder until the eventual reboot, begun steering Destructoid into what feels like a second golden age. I've been loving the resurgence of Dtoid's YT channel, the staff comebacks, just how smooth-sailing the front page has been since he took charge. 

And while there's his terrific work on Podtoid/Dismal Jesters, what he still does on Sup Holmes really shows his love for video games and why he's perfect for the position he has on staff. He also seems to like it whenever I suggest questions during his streams, so that's sweet! What a sweetie. 

Add yet another to the bucket list: Shake Jonathan Holmes' hand and hope he doesn't think I'm a douche.





Heh. That outta hold the little SOB's. 



6:51 PM on 02.20.2015

Our glorious and superior leader, Niero, proposed a very interesting though slightly nerve-wracking question to the community while I was asleep in Seymour's Dreamland. A question I had never considered, but one I am now. With as sharp a mind can be just waking up, but with full attention. 

"Should Destructoid venture into general geek media?"

Thankfully, through means that is quite the long tale, I still have all the time in the world these days to think about it. If I were browsing this during school or work, this is where all my attention would be despite. That is how important Destructoid is to me. It is the place where I have grown my permed persona into what is, I would like to think, a somewhat respected member of a community that is as awesome as it is. It's a place to talk about video games, but sometimes go off-topic and nobody can predict where those threads end up. 

I absolutely adore the community here. You guys are hilarious, honest and dangerously sexy. You've also given me a pedestal that has continuously inspired my brain to create some half-worthwhile pieces of writing. I won't forget you guys when I'm managing my own speciality taco business out of my aunt's Lincoln. 

Destructoid is my harem. My allied trench in the war between idiots and The Internet. My bubble buddy. 

It is practically my second home. 

You may have already noticed, but the comments seem to be at, for the most part, a resounding "No.". A couple made a suggestion that Destructoid should implement subsections as to keep Destructoid as Destructoid as possible whilst drawing in new viewers, then there was our own staff member Mike who was easily the most open of our commenters. Also, cocks. 

Look, I'm not going to pretend that it isn't at least partially the fear of change that makes me think "No." as well. I mean, look at those two toddlers in the Full House cast shot. Who the fuck were they? Does anyone remember them? I don't want them! But, they're cute and people love cute. 

"Whatchu talkin' bout, Niero?"

I'm also not going to pretend that going the route of general geek media wouldn't be the right move from a business standpoint. It probably would be. I think. The Destructoid folks have been scraping for cash for pretty much ever, am I right? It may be stable enough, but stable doesn't always ease your mind in a time when YouTube is fast becoming the new media. It's practically an Internet within The Internet.

Could explain the concentrated awfulness of most the community there. 


But, I do know one thing for sure: You will lose a little bit of what makes Destructoid, well, Destructoid.

For 9 years, you guys have solidified yourselves as the no fucks given crew of gaming media. A humble abode that has made history with the likes of Anthony Burch, Jim Sterling, Nick Chester, Jonathan Holmes, etc. All still very much active in the gaming space. Who's to say they would be where they are now without Destructoid's undying devotion to de vidja? What kind of environment would that have been? What would it be now? Destructoid, to this day and especially today, stands out amongst the rest because of said undying devotion. 

Speaking of devotion, it's clear your most vocal viewers, the part of our community that makes it what it is, mostly, would not welcome the change. I know I'd still stick through to the very end, but I know some here that are, in some ways, more passionate than I when it comes to Destructoid. They may leave entirely. Some of my most favorite people. And that would blow. 

Destructoid is the only video game website I regular. It's like my special someone. I love you the way you are, baby. Even without your make-up and with a few grey hairs, you're still you. 

Then again, I'm not under Destructoid's payroll. I don't know what it's like to be asked this question from that perspective. I bet even they don't know for sure what would happen if this change was inacted. In theory, it's better for business, but... who knows? I'm getting a headache, so imagine what Papa Niero and the rest are going through.

Being like all the others could either bring great things or wane interest across the board. Perhaps a subsection minus any of the frontpage crossbreeding would be best, but why would it stop there? 

I also know another thing that is certain: Destructoid, as amazing as it is, won't be around forever. In ten years, we may be all asking ourselves "Remember IGN? That's so retro! I'm gonna look those guys up on Google Wiki with my Google Brain through my Google Tube and see what Google Censor thinks I should be allowed to see.". 

Is it stubborn to keep up with what you do best when everyone else already provides what you think will assure success for only so long? I think that's what all this boils down to. 

I can't make the decisions and as a single member of a much larger vocal minority that has little baring on the livelihoods of dozens of Destructoid staff members I have no right to. But, I will say that I would, personally, like to keep Destructoid the way it is. As long as it's income is sustainable and they continue pushing HUGE memberships (they haven't been doing much of that, actually), I don't see the harm. 

With that said, do what it is you think is best, Destructoid. Whatever that may be, I won't judge you for it. At the very least, you will have left behind one heck of a history. One of the best The Internet has to offer. STFUAJPG will live on, whether with our wonderful staff and community or in spirit across the vastness of existence. At least wherever there is video games. 

You keep on lighting that fire, Destructoid. As long as you can.


... and the bees.

Willickers! What a beautiful day outside!

I could be out walking, getting fit, getting some sun, pointin' and winkin' as I cross paths with my neighbors and the local deer herds (I assume they run because my too cool attitude just gets them that flustered), but, instead, I'm inside typing up (what is assured to be) another wonderful entry in this series of blogs where our community confesses to all the weird crap that makes their hearts thwomp and their nethers goomba (that one doesn't work quite as well). 



There are many wisdoms to take from the penis.

Can we just set one thing straight? You guys are fucking weird. But, I love you. I love you all. And, yes, in that way. I mean, I'm weird too. I want to be weird with you. On the Internet, in your car, in the park, at the movies, while you cook, in the presedential election booth, locked in a cell, protesting the establishment, but, mostly, right here and now. 

I've already detailed ten people/creatures I would be more than happy to get happy with, but ever since shortly after posting that and witnessing the feedback it got, I've felt as if I've let some of you down. 

I've had this nagging itch at the back of my head for some time now. It's not that bump I got from slipping in the shower, it's not that rash I got from rubbing on that mysterious lotion I bought off some pestering old man with one eye, no... it's something else. Did I not perform to the best of my abilities? Length wasn't the issue, nor was it the build-up or the titilation, it was the substance

Consider this blog an apology. A lament. I know you all want to know as much about what makes me a perv as possible and my past discharge clearly did not quench your thirst. 

Well, drink up, you lovely deliquents. 


Our resident Laura Kate knows this all too well: Butts are grrrrrreat. If they could talk, I'd hope they'd say they loved me back. 

Ever since I was 16, I have been absolutely obsessed with butts. Situated at the pelvis, much like the penis, vagina, and hips, it is like the center of all that is the physical form. There's something very flattering/satisfying about being directly presented or interacting with something so central and personal to someone.

Shaped just right, it is visually flattering as well. How it stretches/bends, warps, gives in. But, when size, shape, and firmness come together just right, if I'm being frank, there's nothing quite like the feel. Can I get an amen? 


Look at how excited they are! There's only 3 things you get that excited over: 

1.) Exam results

2.) Landing that job

3.) Butts

The butt is evolution's way of saying it cares. It is one of THE greatest things ever.


Now, this is KIND of (I'll explain) a recent fetish. At this point, it's actually one of my most passionate. 

I used to think I became interested in dudes out of boredum with the fairer sex because, if I'm being totally honest with myself, I haven't had a single successful relationship with a female. I've had what could be described as "flings", never a real significant other. Whether it was because I wasn't assertive enough or she simply wasn't interested, I haven't had much luck. 

But, in retrospect, I've always been interested in the peen. Without going into too much detail, even at the early stages of puberty, I never considered dudes any different than gals. I was just suddenly finding the general human body... tantaliizing. Somewhere down the line, though, for whatever reason, I began putting those fantasies behind me. Perhaps it was because most, if not all, the attention I had been receiving, at the time, was from the females. So, naturally, I guess my brain began to heavily associate with girls. Cooties and all. 

As I've grown in these last couple (rather tough) years, I've done a lot of digging around in my head. Who I am, what I've gone through, what I what, etc. And given the amount of (eheh) personal time I still have to myself, it was only so long before these urges would begin to creep back up. 

Specifically, I love the pretty boys. Not always the androgynous boys, but that does help. If they wanna put on lady's garments and high heels, be my guest. In vidja game terms, you might find me fawning over the likes of Link, Yosuke, Ringabel, Jonathan, etc. 

Now, I've, of course, never been at all against going for whoever it is you love (within reason), but ever since officially adopting a more bisexual state of mind, I've begun to especially appreciate the beauty of sharing the same appendage (or lack thereof) and hate the sometimes very arbitrary notion of the law or religion. 

Why should two lovers be denied their right to get married or even a good time (in some parts of the world, just being anything but straight will get you fined)? "Sanctity"? Who's to say what that means to you is what it should mean for all? When tradition becomes more of a burden (to say the least) that holds back what hurts nobody, don't you think it's about time you start considering how stupid the whole thing is?

Personally? I want nothing more than to be taken from behind, on all fours, by a lovely young stallion with a nice dick. He slips it in, there goes my butt virginity, and I plead for it to stop because of the pain. But, I'm then caressed firmly at the neck and kissed softly on the back of the head, as if to say "It's a wild ride, but I'm here for you.". The pain turns to pleasure as we both begin moaning in unison and eventually finish with a loud scream. We both collapse in heat, breathing heavily. We look at eachother, still red, and kiss passionately for several seconds and I finally hear those words I've longed to genuinely hear for so damn long:

"God, I love you."

I know it. I'll burst into tears and kiss him for several seconds longer and repeat that powerful phrase, "I love you.". We fall asleep in eachother's arms, both mouths ajar from the previous intensity. But, on the inside, I'll be smiling more than I ever have. 

Asian Gals

Another early fetish of mine that I've carried into adulthood, Asians ladies are easily a number two just below twinks. 

The more native, the better. Even when they're not perfect, they're still sooooo mesmerizing! A lot of them are real cuties and, as I've detailed in my last fetish blog, when cute gets sexy it gets really sexy. It should be no mystery, but part of said cuteness comes from the eyes. Whether as large as saucers or as narrow as toothpicks, there's something about them I adore that I can't quite put into words. 

All 3 are of Rina Akiyama. One of the few models I know by name because that's how amazing she is! You might actually know her from her pin-up cameo in MGS3.

They're a commodity I can't imagine someone (who's into vjj) not at least enjoying on some level. I can't help but lose my shit just a tad when I see an especially attractive Asian girl. There's definitely the foreign appeal. That they could probably show me things I never thought possible, beautiful things.. sexy things. 

They also seem rather fun-loving. I've never seen a shoot with an Asian girl who didn't look like she was having the time of her life rather than trying to look as easy as possible. I think we all here at Destructoid can at least appreciate being able to keep a heartfelt smile while showing a little (or a lot of) skin. 

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Whip it out!


Oh, boy. Here we go. 

Yes. I'm a fur[youknowwhat] through and through. I love big, fluffy tails. The smooth, vibrant, cartoonish styles. The structural impossibilities. Everything about them. I love furries


To make matters worse, it's doesn't even have to have fur! Yeah! Pokemon? Rock hard. Ponies? Aw yees. Imps? Aliens? SHARKS?! 

SHARKS?! ... sharks? That doesn't ev- ACK, how? What is wrong with me?!

Sometimes I even surprise myself. 

Perhaps it's best that we move on...


Now, being laughed at is a whole separate thang that I'm not personally into. I'm all about submission and being powerless (as I'll detail in the next topic), but there's a fine line between that and just straight up degradation. 

However, laughing from the sensation of skin touching skin or from the sheer pleasure? That's fucking hot. Just the sound is enough to evoke an ASMR-like response from me, especially when it's really cackly and squealy, but to know that I'm entertaining my other to a point that drives them crazy enough to laugh is immensely flattering. Sex is a mutual thing. If my partner is having fun, I'm having fun. 

I wouldn't even need to see equal pleasure from my partner. If I can blush them silly and then have them release, my job is done. I'm content. I just like making people happy!


As far as the more fantastical fetishes go, macro/giantess/giant/etc. is easily my favorite. 

There are some aspects of it I find greedy, that I enjoy anyway. To not only be caressed by, but surrounded in flesh or to be in awe of the immense scale. Some aspects unreasonable, that I can't help but think about. To be topped and pounded into the ground by a giant/giantess... with no outstanding pain... and live! Some aspects unconventional, but somehow still erotic. To be disregarded on a level that someone would consider trying to derive sexual pleasure from devouring me. 

Is that necessarily "degradation"? I don't think so. I don't like being told I'm unsexy or that I'm pathetic or anything. I like the idea of being used like almost a toy or a mere aphrodisiac. To have someone be pleasured at my expense. 

Or for someone that size to be my gentle protector. To keep me safe and consolidate me with massive hugs and kisses, and to be pleased orally or through small amounts of pressure against soft, firm skin. Ya know, in a way I would likely, given the already unrealistic circumstances of a macro human/anthro, come out alive.

Mostly, I just think about what it would be like to witness an attractive person of that scale. As tall as houses, skyscrapers... an entire planet! To feel insignificant to or be at the mercy of someone in that way. Not through anything emotional, through power, or social status, but through sheer size. I think that's incredibly interesting. And sexy. 




Before Destructoid, I had never felt I could be this open about my sexual desires. It's very therapeudic, as I'm currently still living at home and going through a bunch of nonsense that must be dealt with before really getting life underway. I haven't had much room for exploring this particular facet of life since my high school years, so I appreciate being heard. 

It may not seem immediately obvious, but this is not only very fun but very helpful. This is one hell of a community, one that I am proud to be apart of. I feel we can be open about anything here with no ill judgement. Whether someone needs life advice, we need to vent, talk about video games, or we want to share what gets us wet, it's all open for discussion around here! That's fucking something. Let's not ever take that for granted. 

I look forward to reading through any future fetish blogs that catches my eye! That's enough sexy from me for a while. 

We talk about the story, the gameplay, and the sexy of a video game on the community blogs pretty often, but hardly ever the music. I've had music blogs that are considerably more well-received than my others, but, from what I've seen, only I and perhaps a couple others talk about music at all and let alone on a regular basis. Not even I do that!

It's a real fucking issue, guys. When we neglect music, we get *bile rises* artists like Nicki Minaj or whatever noise was featured in the latest DmC: Definitive Edition trailer (I like wubbystep, but that was all wub and with little to no mind payed to volume control besides "make it super loud"). Unfortunately, sometime during the 90's, the music industry began laxing and realized it was very easy to impress people and it hasn't quite been the same since. We've still had plenty of good stuff, but not nearly as much I'd say. 

Around that same time (at least in the US), games like Final Fantasy and practically anything Rare were releasing and doing more than just presenting you with a video game, but a world. To create a world, it takes more than gameplay and a nice idea. Story/characters, landscape building, and, of course, music. Technology was improving, cartridge/disc space was increasing, and developers got more ambitious. Naturally, video game music was only getting better and better. 

And ever since 1996, for nearly 20 years, this man has been responsible for some of the best of the best: Shoji "Motherfucking" Meguro. Composer for much of the Shin Megami Tensei franchise of games. 

Where most composers tend to stick with maybe one or two genres as their speciality, Meguro has practically done it all and done it incredibly well. Blues, progressive metal, alternative rock, jazz.. metal (?), lounge, j-pop, orchestral, electronica, etc. It takes a tremendous amount of talent to channel multiple genres at all, nevermind for a single project. He may not be the only one responsible for the music (there's "Lotus Juice", Shihoko Hirata, and Yumi Karamura who do a lot of the vocal/lyricical work where applicable), but he's typically credited over anyone else and... I mean, the guy is awesome. 

I'm aware of Japan's notorious reputation for unfair or outright untrue credentials, but I would like to think everything's on the up and up over at ATLUS. They've remained genuine and trustworthy in my eyes as a consumer for all these years, so I assume they treat their employees with siimilar amounts of respect. 

With that out of the way, how about some brass tacts music discussion, eh? 

Holy shit, I need to play the female path in P3P

As with a lot of people, I'm mostly familiar with the soundtracks to Persona 3 and 4. Featuring more than a handful of tracks that are composed unlike most video game music, the spotlight is not only set on the instrumentation, but the vocals. Akin to how most music bands compose their latest work, Shoji and company have now made it practically a Persona tradition to include tracks like Reach Out to the Truth or Mass Destruction during gameplay or story sections.

There's also the theme tunes that everyone (including me) absolutely salivates over. 

I think what makes these (and other) tracks so freaking good is Shoji's sick ear for backbone. By that, I'm talking bass and synth/keys. 

For the most part, it seems instruments like bass or keys are seen as those things that those "other" band members operate out of necessity. They don't need to be there or they have to be there in some way so here ya go. When I was young, I didn't even understand the concept of "bass" until I got more into music and then, later, playing guitar. I realized how much I used to, what seemed so arbitrarily at the time, change melody in my head according to the bass as opposed to the vocals or the other instruments. 

Nobody ever air-basses unless they're listening to Rush. Nobody ever strikes an invisible piano and wobbles their head around like Ray Charles unless they're listening to Elton John... or Ray Charles. The thing is, the rhythm is big part of what makes a song and percussion isn't all that can make up a song's rhythm. 

I haven't studied music theory, so a lot of what I say may sound either inarticulate or straight up whack, but I just know I gotta be on to something!

Fucking listen to that bass. Those keys. They ride just as well as everything else (if not better). When you have great bass, keys, percussion, etc. backing up great vocals and melodies, the result is euphoric. 


Even when there aren't any vocals, there's always something unique to every track that keeps me coming back. Not just whatever Shoji puts out, something about the music pertaining to the SMT franchise makes me think these guys must really fucking love music and put as much effort into said music as the design leads, progammers, animators, etc. put into the rest of the game. 

A lot of other franchises have great music, but nothing like SMT's. It gels with me in a way I can no longer go on describing without simply talking about each individual track and I can go on like that forever. 

Shoji had little to no hand in the SMTIV soundtrack, but it's one of my favorites still. The main theme plays like the intro to a quality TV drama/thriller. 

Combining technicality, genre-blending, and catchiness with a little bit of personal appeal (there tends to be a lot of progressive or electronica elements throughout even tracks like Time to Make History), the SMT franchise is all that makes music so great and interesting to me. When Persona 5 (FINALLY) releases, I'll be playing it for the music as much as I'll be playing it for the gameplay, immersion, and story. Then, when I listen to the soundtrack rips off YouTube, I won't be just reliving the context(s) surrounding the tracks, but appreciating just how fucking great the music is. 

A lot could probably be said about the music in relation to my enjoyment of the other parts of the SMT games, but that's for another time. Unlike most video game music, I don't feel as if I'm necessarily missing anything when I listen to these tracks outside the game. I don't focus on that time I did that thing when this music was playing, I just get lost in that wondrous art of voice and sound. 

Play me off, Persona. 

... there's a special kind of feeling I get. From the bottom of my heart to the furthest reaches of my most raging boner. The way you speak your gibberish, the way you laugh, the way you work your stuff as you work your enemies over like a young teen to their parent's credit card, how you were there for me during times most would simply say "Hey, put some pants on you pervert!" . Girl, you're always on my mind. 

Some would say our love isn't right. That it is "forbidden". We're from two completely different worlds. One physical, one virtual. That hasn't stopped the fanart. That hasn't stopped the countless late nights or suspiciously long showers. Hearts weren't made for holding back. 


Take me away.

Your stature may be a concern for some, but, to me, you are 100% woman. Well, imp woman. Actually, if anything, your size should be more of a concern for you. I'm like 3-4 times your height and weight. But, that can be alleviated, am I right? Your allure is matched only by your power. What may be physically impossible isn't a concern with Zelda canon. Or my imagination, for that matter. It's magic, you ain't gotta explain shit.

The things you've done to me, the things I've done to you... mostly the things you've done to me. Submissiveness is my thing. That giant hand of yours has not gone to waste, I assure you. 

"Prepare your anus!"

Something about that sassy smile of yours. 

That 'come hither' stare.

That butt. 

But, it didn't start with a look and then "I want in.". What kind of wound up delinquent do you take me for? Jesus! Midna is a gal I would, honest-to-goodness, profess and commit to if possible. With that kind of status, it takes more than looks and a butt that can crack solid cement. 

Before Hyrule Warriors, all it's fanservice-y glory, and the influx of Rule 34's, there was only The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. What was considered by many to be the second black sheep of the franchise next to Wind Waker until Skyward Sword showed us just how lackluster a Zelda game could really be (don't hate me, bros). 

For me, though, the timing was very late. If it were menstruation, start buying diapers. The Wii was all but dead, the Wii U had recently released, and I was content with some mini-games and a new Marios. All the while, I continued to miss out on one of Nintendo's biggest releases. But, in early 2013, I finally played what would end up becoming not only my favorite Zelda game, but my favorite Zelda story. Thanks in no small part to Link's new companion character, Midna. 

The imp with the butt

Some time into the game, you would think you were clear of any pesky tutorial fairies or shouting rocks. Then you're captured, put behind bars in an overtaken Hyrule Castle, and, most egregious of all, humiliated by being turned into a furry. How could things get worse? With that, how the heck do I get out of here?!

What's this? Someone call for a little plot magic? (stop asking so many questions or I'll never finish this blog)

Enter the mysterious Twilight Princess (spoiler alert!) turned adorable scamp, Midna. She has the power to set you free, but on one condition: You must help her do some stuff that I don't remember. 

Christ. How? How could I say 'no' to that face?

Surprisingly enough, Midna is fairly light on the patronizing tutorials or blatant hand-holding. She's even a little interesting. A character in her own right straight from the get-go. She's less of a helper or companion and more of a necessity. If it weren't for Midna, Link would not have been physically capable of continuing his adventure to save Hyrule from (spoiler alert!) Ganon once more. 

Nevermind that, if it weren't for Midna, I'd have much less to do during my day to day. 

Link and Midna's relationship is a little rocky at the start. Midna clearly playing up her dominance to get her way, her personality was immediately more further developed than just a bullet point convention. Helping was the new animation engine that was later used for (the much muuuuuch worse) Skyward Sword, giving characters new levels of expression and leaving behind the static pool of angry face, sad face, happy face, etc. 

Slowly but surely, though, Midna becomes a tad more sympathetic. She realizes your situation, much like her's, puts you at a frustrating disadvantage and even shows obvious compassion a time or two. 

Then, suddenly, several dungeons later, the shoe is on the other foot when Midna is attacked and left near death at the hands of the first of the game's main antagonists, Zant. Luckily, through more PLOT MAGIC, Link and Midna are teleported to near the city entrance before it's too late. Link must now carry Midna, in his wolf form (PLOT MAGIC), to the safety of Zelda's makeshift prison at the top of Hyrule Castle. 

This part of the game was, without a doubt, The Legend of Zelda's most powerful moment for me. The context, imagery, and somber music all combining to pack one hell of an emotional punch. It was a long piggyback, but we eventually made it. Our bond now all the more strong because of it. I wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to get Midna to safety.

I was now mad at Zant. His first big reveal and they nail end goal motivation to the wall with a railroad spike. From then on, I was set and determined. Twilight Princess had officially engaged me. 

By the final hours of Twilight Princess, Midna and Link are bosum pals. Heck, they're arguably 'a thing'. Midna opens up to the validity of Link's quest as well as her own. They're both just as important and she was just a little selfish to think otherwise. 

At the very end, when we had to say goodbye, it felt too real. It wasn't a tear-burster, but genuinely bittersweet. We had done what we set out to do, we knew we had to part ways, but I simply didn't want to. It all balanced out and I was left staring at my screen totally numb. 

For me, Midna isn't simply a convention or a tool, she's a character. She's more real to me than any other Zelda "character", or many other video game characters in general. The silent Link echoing my every intent and reaction (or lack thereof), me and Midna traversed Hyrule in name of hot, steaming Twili/Hylian justice and kicked enough ass to fill up several football stadiums. 

And she also just happens to speak to my kinky side. 

Midna is a butt, but she is a meaningful butt. She's ass, but with class. In more ways than one, I can't get enough of her. Whether it's her character, the mechanics surrounding her in either Twilight Princess or Hyrule Warriors, or her mammoth sensual magnetism, she's my gal. 

She is my waifu. 



That first blog I did on Persona 5 was a thing. This is a much MUCH better thing. That's not just my opinion. My mother told me she enjoyed it as well. 

This is mine and Travis' first podcast, with Rodkey having not only some experience but quite a bunch! He still runs the Comedy Button Facebook group/Twitter, edits videos for various outlets, knows Max Scoville (!), and is currently even applying for a job at IGN. He's probably our most famous face/voice/blob. 

Since Rodkey had to leave some time into the podcast, things got considerably less analytical for a while until we got back into the groove by the time we began answering questions (which I really should've done here as well, but didn't think about it). But, enough negative. We have a lovely discussion as a whole and even, at one point, talk about men with vaginas. That's a major positive. 

Hope you guys enjoy! If I do say so myself, I find it thoroughly entertaining even as someone who can't stand the sound of his own voice. 

This may become a semi-regular thing. Like once every several months. But, that's unlikely. It's very rare that something like this gets me passionate enough to set aside a whole 30min-1hr+ discussion to it.