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Just a guy who loves video games and music. Also artist on the rise!... maybe!

Wanna talk? I'm friendly. Wanna play? Shore. ESPECIALLY ROCK BAND BECAUSE I LOVE ROCKING OUT WITH MY COCK OUT!!!!!!

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... there's a special kind of feeling I get. From the bottom of my heart to the furthest reaches of my most raging boner. The way you speak your gibberish, the way you laugh, the way you work your stuff as you work your enemies over like a young teen to their parent's credit card, how you were there for me during times most would simply say "Hey, put some pants on you pervert!" . Girl, you're always on my mind. 

Some would say our love isn't right. That it is "forbidden". We're from two completely different worlds. One physical, one virtual. That hasn't stopped the fanart. That hasn't stopped the countless late nights or suspiciously long showers. Hearts weren't made for holding back. 


Take me away.

Your stature may be a concern for some, but, to me, you are 100% woman. Well, imp woman. Actually, if anything, your size should be more of a concern for you. I'm like 3-4 times your height and weight. But, that can be alleviated, am I right? Your allure is matched only by your power. What may be physically impossible isn't a concern with Zelda canon. Or my imagination, for that matter. It's magic, you ain't gotta explain shit.

The things you've done to me, the things I've done to you... mostly the things you've done to me. Submissiveness is my thing. That giant hand of yours has not gone to waste, I assure you. 

"Prepare your anus!"

Something about that sassy smile of yours. 

That 'come hither' stare.

That butt. 

But, it didn't start with a look and then "I want in.". What kind of wound up delinquent do you take me for? Jesus! Midna is a gal I would, honest-to-goodness, profess and commit to if possible. With that kind of status, it takes more than looks and a butt that can crack solid cement. 

Before Hyrule Warriors, all it's fanservice-y glory, and the influx of Rule 34's, there was only The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. What was considered by many to be the second black sheep of the franchise next to Wind Waker until Skyward Sword showed us just how lackluster a Zelda game could really be (don't hate me, bros). 

For me, though, the timing was very late. If it were menstruation, start buying diapers. The Wii was all but dead, the Wii U had recently released, and I was content with some mini-games and a new Marios. All the while, I continued to miss out on one of Nintendo's biggest releases. But, in early 2013, I finally played what would end up becoming not only my favorite Zelda game, but my favorite Zelda story. Thanks in no small part to Link's new companion character, Midna. 

The imp with the butt

Some time into the game, you would think you were clear of any pesky tutorial fairies or shouting rocks. Then you're captured, put behind bars in an overtaken Hyrule Castle, and, most egregious of all, humiliated by being turned into a furry. How could things get worse? With that, how the heck do I get out of here?!

What's this? Someone call for a little plot magic? (stop asking so many questions or I'll never finish this blog)

Enter the mysterious Twilight Princess (spoiler alert!) turned adorable scamp, Midna. She has the power to set you free, but on one condition: You must help her do some stuff that I don't remember. 

Christ. How? How could I say 'no' to that face?

Surprisingly enough, Midna is fairly light on the patronizing tutorials or blatant hand-holding. She's even a little interesting. A character in her own right straight from the get-go. She's less of a helper or companion and more of a necessity. If it weren't for Midna, Link would not have been physically capable of continuing his adventure to save Hyrule from (spoiler alert!) Ganon once more. 

Nevermind that, if it weren't for Midna, I'd have much less to do during my day to day. 

Link and Midna's relationship is a little rocky at the start. Midna clearly playing up her dominance to get her way, her personality was immediately more further developed than just a bullet point convention. Helping was the new animation engine that was later used for (the much muuuuuch worse) Skyward Sword, giving characters new levels of expression and leaving behind the static pool of angry face, sad face, happy face, etc. 

Slowly but surely, though, Midna becomes a tad more sympathetic. She realizes your situation, much like her's, puts you at a frustrating disadvantage and even shows obvious compassion a time or two. 

Then, suddenly, several dungeons later, the shoe is on the other foot when Midna is attacked and left near death at the hands of the first of the game's main antagonists, Zant. Luckily, through more PLOT MAGIC, Link and Midna are teleported to near the city entrance before it's too late. Link must now carry Midna, in his wolf form (PLOT MAGIC), to the safety of Zelda's makeshift prison at the top of Hyrule Castle. 

This part of the game was, without a doubt, The Legend of Zelda's most powerful moment for me. The context, imagery, and somber music all combining to pack one hell of an emotional punch. It was a long piggyback, but we eventually made it. Our bond now all the more strong because of it. I wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to get Midna to safety.

I was now mad at Zant. His first big reveal and they nail end goal motivation to the wall with a railroad spike. From then on, I was set and determined. Twilight Princess had officially engaged me. 

By the final hours of Twilight Princess, Midna and Link are bosum pals. Heck, they're arguably 'a thing'. Midna opens up to the validity of Link's quest as well as her own. They're both just as important and she was just a little selfish to think otherwise. 

At the very end, when we had to say goodbye, it felt too real. It wasn't a tear-burster, but genuinely bittersweet. We had done what we set out to do, we knew we had to part ways, but I simply didn't want to. It all balanced out and I was left staring at my screen totally numb. 

For me, Midna isn't simply a convention or a tool, she's a character. She's more real to me than any other Zelda "character", or many other video game characters in general. The silent Link echoing my every intent and reaction (or lack thereof), me and Midna traversed Hyrule in name of hot, steaming Twili/Hylian justice and kicked enough ass to fill up several football stadiums. 

And she also just happens to speak to my kinky side. 

Midna is a butt, but she is a meaningful butt. She's ass, but with class. In more ways than one, I can't get enough of her. Whether it's her character, the mechanics surrounding her in either Twilight Princess or Hyrule Warriors, or her mammoth sensual magnetism, she's my gal. 

She is my waifu. 



That first blog I did on Persona 5 was a thing. This is a much MUCH better thing. That's not just my opinion. My mother told me she enjoyed it as well. 

This is mine and Travis' first podcast, with Rodkey having not only some experience but quite a bunch! He still runs the Comedy Button Facebook group/Twitter, edits videos for various outlets, knows Max Scoville (!), and is currently even applying for a job at IGN. He's probably our most famous face/voice/blob. 

Since Rodkey had to leave some time into the podcast, things got considerably less analytical for a while until we got back into the groove by the time we began answering questions (which I really should've done here as well, but didn't think about it). But, enough negative. We have a lovely discussion as a whole and even, at one point, talk about men with vaginas. That's a major positive. 

Hope you guys enjoy! If I do say so myself, I find it thoroughly entertaining even as someone who can't stand the sound of his own voice. 

This may become a semi-regular thing. Like once every several months. But, that's unlikely. It's very rare that something like this gets me passionate enough to set aside a whole 30min-1hr+ discussion to it. 


If I could record myself screaming to accurately portray my level of excitement, I would. But, it's late at night early in the morning, so this blog may have to suffice. 

Pay attention, protag-san! It's dissection time!

I mean, this is game is fucking beautiful! Clearly, they're using an updated version of the engine they used for Catherine (you should buy that, btw) and it does a great deal of justice to the Persona universe (EDIT: Apparently it's not the same engine. Still, they obviously borrowed the style and presentation they tested out with Catherine.). No longer are we stuck isometrically with almost completely static models, what we have with Persona 5 is much MUCH more dynamic and expressive. 

The traversal is obviously a big departure. What's up with that? It flies by so quickly that my brain couldn't have time to tell itself "I like/don't like this.". It just sort of made me foam up even more. Stealth? Platforming? Whoa! 

Like, really. This is pretty huge (like my boner right now). 

What's that? It's also probably still turn-based? As it should be! Calenders are still in, stores, exploration, side missions, classic SMT demons/personas (hey there, Sandman and Pyro Jack!), all-out attacks, and...

Hey! You're a nice surprise! I thought characters died with their voice actors over in Japan. Rest in piece and all that (seriously), but with all these new changes, it's nice to be already assured some convention beyond gameplay/HUD hints. 

Speaking of our characters...

These 3 seem to be our central lot. The main protagonist is a cutie, the girl has a chip on her shoulder (Chie much!), and the other looks like a dick. But, we know we'll end up loving him no matter. Shinji was rather blunt and reclussive, but he's alright! Right? Yeah. Whatever. I don't got time for this shit

There's also what seems to be one of those (what would be obligatory across most anime culture) poppy companion animals. A kitty cat. 

His attire reminds me of another interesting tidbit to gather from this trailer: It seems our leads carry a burden much like our past Persona leads. They have a regular social life and a school life which we will, no doubt, have a huge part in affecting, but unlike past leads... their second lives seem a bit more mysterious. 

Are they heistmen? A masked vigilante group made public (our main protagonist is nearly arrested, in uniform, towards the beginning of the trailer), out to uncover a dark truth? Who knows! It's all so exciting!

There's so much to dissect from this trailer that I, with the time I've given myself before I can no longer act as an intelligible human being from the sheer EXCITEMENT, cannot possibly be up to the task. But, I hope my two cents will get some of our more ambitious users (staff members?) groundwork to start from. 

Who else can't believe their eyes? IT'S SO. FUCKING. GORGEOUS!

Even the menus are more fancy this time around!

It goes without saying, but I'm also thoroughly in love with the music. 

To think I'm neck-deep in my PC catalog. Soon enough, I need to tear myself away and finally finish Persona 3 and 4. Such long games. 

Have a good one!

Last year's Alamo City Comic-Con was my very first convention experience. It was loud, exciting, life-affirming, all around nerdy as fuck and awesome. I wasn't preparred for the fun that I would have and I wanted that fun to continue whenever possible. The kind of fun that would fuel my day better than any breakfast. Possibly unless that breakfast was exclusively bacon. A lot of bacon.  

When it was announced some time ago, the idea of a PAX South had me even more ecstatic than the weeks leading up to Comic-Con. More than any other facet of geek culture, I likes my video games. They bring me into fantastical fictional worlds effortlessly, like no other medium. I love getting lost in a good RPG or shooter, or sinking my teeth into the mechanics of the latest indie craze. I've also never really had the opportunity to get the inside scoop on upcoming releases, always wondering what it would be like to be on the other side for just one day. 

There was a sizable barrier to break through, though. The fact that this was no Comic-Con. I needed to put myself in the right head space to get what I wanted to get out of PAX South. With no autograph signings worth mentioning, not nearly as much cosplay, no panels worth actively seeking out and no interest in the competitive scene, it would come down to whether or not I could find enjoyment in something far more modest than what those attendee statistics and gigantic convention halls would imply: Game demos and chatting with the people behind them.

Most of my first couple hours were spent whoring myself out at the vendors and snapping up whatever cosplayers I could find. Suffice to say, it took me long enough to snap out of the funk I was in and just play some fucking video games. But, when I did, that's when the happenin' began to be happenin'. 

As someone who, recently, has been mostly dealing with his backlog and hasn't had much motivation to keep up with the slew of new indie... news, PAX South was a godsend. I now have at least several additional upcoming indies on my radar and I may even purchase JumpJet Rex later today! That was a fun one. It was hard resisting the urge to mention to Mike Gaboury that it heeeeavily resembled Flappy Bird, until he said it himself. 

I like that. He's knows exactly what he's doing and isn't trying hide it at all. 

I even came across a "Social Justice Warriors" game that predated GamerGate by a whole several months! You could tell the developer was legit. Sadly, my Social Justice Warrior mage pins I was planning on sending much of the Dtoid staff got lost somehow. 

I believe Fortified was the first game I came across that enticed me to chat with the developers enough for what went down to be considered a conversation. I don't know what it's like for every developer, to be told that "Your game is a lot like [x] with a little bit of [x]!" rather than saying it's very special in it's own way, but these guys, much like Gaboury, had no trouble admitting that they were essentially making Orcs Must Die with 50's Americana. 

The intentionally simplistic enemy designs reminded me a lot of Earth Defense Force. A chasy, claw arms, a bulb at the top, tall legs... you want a giant robot? There's your giant robot. Nothing fancy, and I love it. 

"No relation to Epic's upcoming Fortnite?", I asked them. "No. But, we are using Unreal 4!". Nice. Here's hoping for a PS4 release (currently slated for PC and Xbone), where I do a lot of my indie nonsense these days. 

As far as quanity and quality went, Devolver had both in spades. More than any other booth, hands down. Titan Souls looked sweet, Enter the Gungeon played tremendously well, Hotline Miami 2 seemed like more of the same that many loved (I, personally, wasn't a fan), and The Talos Principle still looks amazingly interesting.

If Broforce ever gets Vasquez, know that it was totally all me. But, I had my longest chat with one of the people behind The Talos Principle. It was goddamned intimate. We talked at length about his involvement with Serious Sam, why I should look into The Talos Principle, etc., but all that was as much me as it was him.

He, himself, though, honest-to-goodness, insisted I wait for a Steam sale to purchase it. He implored that it wasn't that amazing that they could both tackle a cheesy action-shooter and an intelligent, methodical puzzler and do them justice. "We're just passionate about making games, man. Nothing special.". Bullhonky. Read between the lines a bit, man! He was the most modest person I had come across in a long long time. Regardless of how he truly felt on the inside, the man deserves to flaunt a bit. 

It was also interesting to hear that a lot of the mechanics in The Talos Principle were initially apart of Serious Sam 4 "to give you something else to do". My brows perked as I told him "Well, that doesn't sound very Serious Sam." as politely as I could have. He agreed, so he and (assumedly) others pushed for a whole separate experience with these parts. That was when The Talos Principle was born!

Oh yeah. And Serious Sam 4 is fucking happening, people. 

There was one game, though, that impressed me beyond any sort of objective basis. It was incredibly rough, but it had potential and a tremendous amount of charm. The developers were also a very humble and adorable bunch. The above picture, for me, pretty much embodies "indie gaming". 

Periodyc Studios' T Is For Guilty is a title I hope you all keep your eye on. 

The main protagonist, he's got "classic, lovable" down to a 't'. In fact, that's exactly what he is! How can you not love a character that is literally a capitol 'T'? He's like Rayman by way of Mavis Beacon.

There isn't much to go on as far as gameplay. As I said, the game is very very rough. It really takes playing what is there to "get it". Once you begin making this feller move and punch through the air like Guacamelee's Juan along to the cheeky jazz soundtrack, you fall in love. Or, at least, ideally. I certainly did. It's character design speaks to me in a way I can't describe. 

I am very very glad to own this lovely poster: 

The demo I played didn't even have a proper "end". You simply couldn't go any further. That's how rough it was. But, I can't deny I was taken by it. 

Make a Sticky Note to stalk Kickstarter for whenever their's goes up. To be frank, I can't imagine it getting too far with the build it has and some cute concept art, but I hope to be proven wrong. I mean, I really wanna be proven wrong! These guys need to evolve the game to a point that even halfway capitalizes on it's potential. 

It was booths like this and Devolver's that gave me a newfound appreciation for the indie scene. I wanna give them all a big hug. 

Between Alamo City Comic-Con and PAX South, I have become a con junkie. I never saw myself as that sort of person, but now I can't imagine my life without 'em. They accentuate my love of being a total nerd to levels indescribable and I get to meet all sorts of interesting people, both eccentric fans and developers. 

Like I said with my last con blog, if you haven't already and if you want to go even just a teensy bit, you owe it to yourself to. It will give you lots of good feelings. 


The Gearbox Rockin' Fun Zone!


Also, to prove that I can look considerably less stupid than I do in that selfie, here's a test shot I did a few days ago of a James Sunderland cosplay I almost completed in time for the con, but noooot quite:


Still needed patches and an appropriately-colored jacket, but it's basically there!

In the very near future, the Supreme Court and it's band of old people deciding what the young people want will officially decide whether same-sex marriage is permitted by the constitution (or, rather, whether the constitution allows states to ban same-sex marriage or not). We know it is, but the people running the system apparently don't. At least not definitively. Freedom, what's up with thaaaaat?

No matter their stance, in the end... I think video games have the right idea. While they, like just about anything some people don't like, may continue to be somewhat of a social stigma in America, we can learn a thing or two from them when it comes to complicated issues such as this. 

No matter Nintendo/Tecmo Koei's intention, Postman Link is a statement. It's the manifestation of the freedom that we, as loving and understanding people, all long for. 

It's like "Hey. I'm Link. These are my legs, these are my arms, this is my crotch, this is my butt. Whether you're into that or not, I hope you're comfortable with it.". I can't think of a time when we have seen Link as exposed as this without the helping hand of fanart. All the while the Great Fairies, Veran, Cia... they have no shame. Why should Link? Because he's a man? It's just as arbitrary to say a couple shouldn't get married because their genitals don't align a certain way. 

Postman Link slaps a firm foot down in the face of inequality and tells it to take a good hard sniff. Ya smell that? Can you almost taste it? Yeah. That's freedom, baby. That's dirt, sweat, blood, and pure, unadulterated equality, you facists. 

I want you to look into those perfectly-tonned abs and tell me it's alright. I want you to stare a hole into that buldge and scream "Equality!".  Doesn't that feel good? Doesn't that g-... 

*ahem* Um, uhhh...

Oh my. 

Equality sure does work up a sweat, doesn't it? Eheh. 

A- anyway. How about we, uh, take a quick lunch and meet back here to further discuss the merit of equality and video games as teaching tools. 

From most of my time here, I have led a persona that's typically pretty relaxed. I've said some stupid things, some heated and aggressiive things, but I've dropped most of that by now. I've gotten really really good at knowing when I'm about to say something wrong on the Internet, to then block it and shove it off to the mill to work for pennies like it had never crossed my mind. 

I exchange pleasantries, get into casual discussion, and leave most threads on a good note. These days, whatever doesn't bring out the best in me I try to stay away from and if you're not a nice boy to me, it won't take long for me to lose patience and remain silent as opposed to me continuing the conversation with more toxic spillage. 

Most recently, I've begun taking steps to broaden my appeal for the Destructoid userbase. You've seen my sexy Midna postings, yes? No? And I talk about Jonathan Holmes more than any other user here. I've also, like everyone else, cooked this lovely GOTY blogpiece up. Fresh off of this new year and ready for your eyes and head-brain. If you thought I'd miss a chance to say stuff about video games whilst assigning them arbitrary titles, I clearly haven't been asserting myself into your life enough. 

Here I cum.

Best Game I Bought A Second Time (In the Same Year) - Diablo III

Diablo III was terrible at launch. It hit the masses like a flying boulder encapsulating a creature of unbelievable power. With that power, it could do good or bad. Save the poor and fuck the rich or hand out fliers for your local Taiwanese restaurant. The boulder crashed, the creature lept out with a valient roar, and it was... very anti-climatic. Servers were down most the time, accounts were hacked as usual, people did NOT like the Auction House, the list goes on. 

I never experienced this first-hand as someone who, at the time, only was aware that Diablo was a thing at all. I felt your pain, though, Diablo fans. I would hate to have been looking forward to a game like that for years and years and years to finally have poop shoved into my face and to be looked down upon for not lapping up said poop

But, with the metaphorical dust having settled and some significant patches later, more and more of us can start to really appreciate Diablo III. Personally, with the release of Reaper of Souls, Diablo III became an awesome awesome game and with the complete PS4 release I've accumulated dozens of hours in just "Find loot, kill shits, find loot, kill shits, etc.". It's a brilliantly-presented game with a painstaking amount of polish put into it to boot. The game's core is very fun with lots of great feedback and tantalizing loot, and Reaper of Souls is the campaign's most satisfying chapter (it actually ends with a boss fight worth calling a final boss). 

I enjoyed it on PC, and the PS4 version made me a lover. Kees meh. 


Best Game I Most Almost Bought At All - Dragon Age: Inquisition

I'm glad that you've played Dragon Age: Inquisition. I'm sad that I haven't. How does that make you feel? You should feel something, you selfish trout. You... jerk. You hog the shower in the morning, you steal my Snackwell's, you SCRATCH MY CAR, and now you play Dragon Age: Inquistion while I cannot. You little shit!

But, no. I'm.. sorry. That was uncalled for. Must stay happy and sexy. Keep enjoying your incredible fantasy adventures with Iron Bull and the Other Bunch while I do something else


Best Unintentional Use of Willem Dafoe - Tomodachi Life

Beyond: Two Souls did more than just make David Cage look even worse, it did absolutely no justice to star of such films as The Spider-Man and Boondocked Saints, Willem Dafoe. Often both the focus and butt of many Podtoid jokes, his goblin face, husk-like form and larger than life persona have graced you and me with some cool things. I liked it when he said "AH! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOURSELF SPIDERMAN! FINGER YOUR LITTLE ASSHOLE WHILE I WATCH!". 

Along comes Tomodachi Life to salvage this wasted potential. 

No one other game can claim to feature a rap battle with not only all your best of friends or original creations you wish you had named something else because "Constance Erection" just isn't funny after seeing it about 50 times, but Willem bloody Dafoe. Or literally anyone else you can imagine.


I gave him a little prison apartment where he spends most his time trying to be everyone's friend or sitting in the corner playing with his Wii U. Sometimes I'll catch him confirming the locations of the corpses his buried at the beach or skateboarding alone in the middle of the night. I expected weird and creepy from Dafoe, but nothing like this. I'm a little afraid of humoring him with food, drink and presents. But, I also probably wanna stay on his good side. 

Nonetheless, if you're looking for a good game to use to exploit the likeliness of Hollywood actor Willem Dafoe, Tomodachi Life is your pick. Unless you have a better idea? 


Someone Was Honestly Paid To Write This Shit? - Destiny

"An evil so terrible that it despises other evil."

Jesus fucking Christ. 


Best 'Waifu/Husbando' Fuel - Hyrule Warriors

Sorry, Persona Q. You have my heart, but not quite as much my dick. 

Between Link, Midna, Ruto, Fi, Ghirahim, Impa, the new Lana... just about the entire cast is beautiful people with the potential for beautiful things. Most notably, we now have a new game that Midna is featured in, which means we probably have a whole lot of new Midna fans (welcome!). Both naturally create an influx of new sexy Midna art. 

The things I could show you. Ohhh. The things

Stay kawaii, my friends. 


Best Way To Spend A Backlog - Shadows of the Damned

A good handful of 2014's most popular releases were in definite need of more penetration, but don't let that keep you flaccid. Shadows of the Damned has all the right stuffing to stimulate your fun sector after all of this past year's disappointments. It also contains a lot of not so very sublte sexual innuendos. 

Shadows of the Damned is basically Resident Evil 4 not giving a fuck and I thoroughly love it. It's got it's core over-the-shoulder, third-person shooting gameplay and spooky attire, but the rest of it is like a mad lib of design. It's main character is a sarcastic Latino with a companion who's a floating skull with a British accent and the power to transform into your weaponry, it's checkpoint indicator is a flying eyeball getting startled by your pressence and then pooping out a poo that is lit up like a flare, you're occasionally escorted by an angler fish which triggers background music of some weird man doing some scat, there's a part where you walk on your girlfriend's butt, it's gates are locked by baby heads that you have to feed specific sorts of food, anything can happen in this game. 

It's unabashedly a video game. It may be stupid, but boy do I wish there were more games like it. 


Game Most Resembling Freddie Mercury - Watch_Dogs

It's seriously uncanny. 


This Wound's Not Salty Enough - Destiny

For all the elements Bungie outright stole from the iconic Halo franchise, they should have gone that extra mile and included Master Chief into the official canon. Perhaps as an NPC? Place him in the right end corner of the Last City hub with a Pelican ship docked besides. He could give you more stupid Bounties to collect for some reason. 

"Why did you come here?", he will say. "I can't believe all this time and money you've wasted with this game.", he will say next. From then on, he will repeat "Just stop. Please." until he has exchausted all possible unique Bounties. His silent, motionless corpse remains once said Bounties begin to rotate. 

This is how the world ends. 


Best Game That Just Barely Missed Getting My Attention In 2014 - Rabbids Go Home

You wouldn't know it by hearing it's title, but Rabbids Go Home is secretly a brilliant game. It may've came out in 2009 and I'm not even playing it in 2014, but... shutup! I like the game and I really wanna give it a shoutout. 

Yes. It's a Raving Rabbids game. We hold much contempt for those stupid little Rabbids. Much like Skylanders is to Spyro the Dragon, the games may be actually pretty alright, but there's just something simulataneously very nasty about the whole thing. But, this particular Rabbids game is seriously something. It has become the biggest video game surprise for me in a long long time. 

Imagine Katamari Damacy (already interested, eh?) with a shopping cart, platforming challenges and slapstick humor. Also like Katamari Damacy, it has an excellent soundtrack. Well, it's original soundtrack is likely pretty polarizing (it's a mess of polka and Rabbid "lyrics"), but it's licensed stuff is surprisingly classy for a game you'd think would be primarily played by younger audiences. There's nothing quite like twirling my Rabbids in circles in an elevator, BWAHing to the rhythm of Boney M's rendition of Rivers of Babylon. Or shoving along a cow 3 times the size of my shopping cart on top of a downtown skyscraper, collecting safety cones and hamburgers, to then have "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ANNNNNNNND... MRS.. MRS JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONES!" slowly fade in from the background. 

The game oozes personality, from it's animations, soundtrack, the sway of the items in your cart, the dialogue, etc. You'd be hard-pressed finding a more entertaining collect-a-thon than this and it stays from getting too repetitive by tasking you to widdle through some obstacles (which get surprisingly challenging as you approach on the final third of the campaign) every so often, varying up level design, a bunch of little things that keep the simple act of picking up stuff so addicting and not tremendously dull.

If you can, track down the Wii version (it has some extra flair/content) and give up your money to it!


Uhhh... Best Frozen Pizza - Digiorno's Pizzeria! Primo Pepperoni

I think it's time for supper. 


So long, my pets.