You guys have had a lot of love to give with our latest little blog trend and that's been equal parts exciting, heartwarming, sexy, inspirational, all sorts of feelings. Good feelings. Problem with me is I typically keep all that gooey, bubbly love of mine locked up for very very special occasions. Probably because I'm afraid I would go too far and go totally yandere on all of you.
Pictured here: Me and you. Yes, you.
That and, like many have already been over, it's very hard to narrow it down to just 9 people. I don't like making people feel sad or left out. Even people I dislike. I only wish bad things on truly bad people and feeling sad is bad, right? Right. You can see the bind I'm in.
I really really love this community. I do. If you're reading this, there's a very high chance you are just as lovely a person as anyone I happen to list down below. There are many variables to how these folks ended up on my list. Timing, personal exchanges, having that rare gusto to really put themselves out there as "them" on this Internet and not just a username who says some words (like me).
Don't put yourself down too much, guy. You're great!
... i-.. is it okay if I touch you there?
Yeaaaah. It's okay. Really bring it in, now.
Andy "The New Age Gigan" Dixon
Andy makes sure the community at large stays afloat. The community that means so damn much to you and me. There are many other mods that do their work well, yes, but Andy probably has the most pressence (if you know what I mean) of any of them. Seph and his charming Robocop/Metal Gear Rising infactuation and blunt attitude, Occams and his totally out there and surprise comments, but Andy is something else.
How could you ever mistake Andy fucking Dixon? He always comes in to either lighten the mood or lay down the law, usually when it's most needed. Nonetheless, no matter the circumstances, no matter who you are (nature, creed or color), he's giving you an uplifting (if you know what I mean) thumbs up.
He really knows how to put his thumbs up (if you know what I mean).
I can't deny that, without him, things wouldn't be the same around here. Not just within our community podcasts or the cblogs, but as well as the FP. Less so about his significance to just me personally, he is a very crucial element of what makes Destructoid as awesome as it is and why I come here everyday. He is the mysterious white fluid that inconspicuously ladens about the walls and keeps us stuck together through thick and thin.
(if you know what I mean)
Gajknight and Nekrosys, "The Unproblems"
Not too long ago, I wasn't quite as open with the more eccentric side of my personality as I am now. A part of me I kept locked away from most people as it's a particularly difficult part of me (heck, anyone) to express without coming off obnoxious or simply far too weird.
Since interacting more and more with Gaj and Nekro, though, I've honed my senses and trained my body in ways unconventional to most other humans. Ways that would drive a sane man mad and a mad man sane, test the will of a sage, bring a seasoned warrior to his knees. But, with bright lights guiding, wrists aching, and sweat shooting from every pore, I came out the other side and a better man. Cue the angelic chorus!
That first fetish blog of mine was, despite my seemingly confident writing, just a little scary to put out there for all to see. People I love and respect now have clear and easy access to what, metaphorically speaking, overheats my hard drive. Holy heck. Do I still have time to delete that? Make a switchoroo? But, as I awoke that following morning, I was surprised by the positive reception it got and felt stupid thinking that, even for a second, of all places, Destructoid would disapprove.
I love it whenever I get a chance to even just exchange a passing though loving glance with either of these two. They help bring out the side of me I thought was best to keep to myself like it was something I should be ashamed of and now it bleeds into much of what I do on The Internet.
Keep it sexy, you sexy boys.
Mike "M'lady" Martin
Better known as PhilKenSebben. But, alas, c-c-c-changes!
Mike, here? One hell of a human being. He's on this list out of sheer respect. I think most here know of the bollocks and hardship he and his family have gone through these last couple or so years and it's fucking amazing that he's able to keep up his fun-loving and brash though kind-hearted persona through all of it. Always seemed like a man who sees his glass half-full, knowing there's greener grass just over that slippery, poopy brown hill. Still more Vaseline in those clamped containers. I am honored to have even been acknowledged a time or two by him.
It puts my own life into perspective and makes me want to do better. What I've been through is nothing compared to what some others have gone through and sometimes even learned from. Self-improvement has recently become somewhat of an addiction of mine and it's much easier to see myself through the hardest of it all when I think of people like Mike.
More than anyone else on Destructoid at the moment, he is an honest-to-goodness inspiration.
The Amazing Benny Disco
Benny may not be a seasoned vet or even around much anymore, but, for a good while, he was one of the best reasons to click every FP article that seemed even remotely interesting. He made those comments sections come alive. You'd even occasionally catch him still shootin' the shit and publishing absolute gold even when an article had long passed it's relevance.
He was also one part of the trio that made up the now dormant community podcast Not'Toid. More than a worthy contender for the most Podtoid thing besides our own Podtoid, it was a very fun podcast in it's own right. I looked forward to it every week... as short-lived as it was.
I think I speak for anyone here who's had the pleasure of witnessing Benny in action when I say "We miss you. Not just your comments or your podcasts or your super saiyan frog icon, but we miss you.". This community needs every weird, slightly-broken, deliquent motherfucker it can find room for in that smelly old broom closet that is Destructoid.
Occams, I found a shark in Bioshock. Bioshark!
Does it surprise anyone that Occams has practically been on every 9 Dtoiders list thus far? Next to Andy, Occams absolutely embodies Destructoid and often emits that same brilliance that Benny once did. Only Occams doesn't leave us for reasons I can only assume are no good, making me cry like a car alarm.
Occams is like a giant penis that wraps itself around you and whispers into your ear, through it's urethra, things sometimes just a little disturbing. But, you then start to appreciate the smooth texture and the overwhelming sense of love in every pulsing caress. It's warmth becomes intoxicating and you fall for it. You fall for it's siren song everytime, always wanting more.
Not just his humor, but he's also really really nice. When he's not making me laugh, he's at least making me smile. If a positive outlook is the best medicine, this man could honestly cure cancer while simultaneously fronting a folk metal cover band and frying ostrich eggs with his feet.
Pinkie swear that you won't ever leave us, Occams.
Our bossum buddy, Dreamweaver
While Occams is our resident jester and generally happy dude, Dreamweaver is almost like a brother to everyone. There are only a handful of people I can say are next-level cuddly and understanding, but Dreamweaver is definitely one of them. Just thinking about him, I feel good. I'm afraid that if we hugged, things would get really awkward just below the equator, then he'd blush and shout "BAKA!". Then we'd just shake hands without making eye contact.
He's opened up to us about some real heavy stuff a time or two, he's hardly (if ever) had a single cross word to say to anyone, he's name is fucking Dreamweaver! If you don't feel at least a sliver of an urge to bro up with this little dude some time, there's something up with that. Buy a couple Sonic slushies, chill, and talk to him about video games. I'm adding that to my bucket list.
Whatever crazy stuff you happen to be going through or will go through, Dream, know you deserve to pull through. Chin up and keep being a bro!
Elsa, Community Mother
Me and Elsa haven't had much contact, but I've always quietly held a great amount of respect for her. One of the few times me and her have had direct contact, she was putting me in my place. That's her thing. I wasn't even mad. She is one smart cookie.
She always puts a tremendous amount of effort into her comments, whether regarding video games, politics, social climate, whatever. She'll rant about almost anything and kick your ass doing it. I mean, if your words were your ass. She says the words better than you, at the least. Whereas most on The Internet likely couldn't care less about how they come across because of their anonymity, Elsa is as lovely and thorough as she probably is off The Internet. Her husband is one lucky guy.
Also, let's not beat around the bush: She's old and she likes video games. That's pretty fucking cool.
Johnny "Macho Libre" Luchador
Of any community member who has left Destructoid, Johnny Luchador is the one I miss the most. Easily.
He was the reason that I, unlike most, was happy that Destructoid had once decided to force embedded streams on the front page whenever they were live. That meant my chances of missing one of his shows fell dramatically and, from what little I was able to catch, he was such a surreal and insanely hilarious dude.
He had great back and forth's with his chat, welcomed familiar faces, had plenty of exciting commentary, all the things that make a Twitch personality worth watching. But, Johnny took things a few steps further. He not only had splendid oral presentation (eheh), but his visual assaults were just as awesome. I wish I could somehow screen his Halloween Rad Show he did back in 2013 because it would do wonders in proving my point. He went above and beyond, which is something like 99% of Twitch streamers have about zero interest in.
He's still doing his thing via VideoGameCircus, which I should totally start watching already, but Destructoid? It has felt so much more empty since his departure. He's a one of a kind and Destructoid should be grateful to have had him. I salute you, Lucha, and keep up the terrific work!
---- HALF-ARSED STAFF MENTIONS, YOU LUCKY DUCKIES! ----
Dale North; Kyle MacGregor; Steven Hansen; Laura Kate Dale; uhh....
Basically anyone on staff that loves Persona and it's plethora of husbandos and waifus.
Chris "Lil' Pumpy" Carter
How do you fucking play so many fucking games, do the amiibos, keep up with your monstrous collection of other stuff, have a wife, write for Destructoid more than anyone else, and still have time to write The X-Files? (HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S ORIGINAL, INNIT?)
Jim "Fucking" Sterling, Son
This was the man that steered Podtoid from a video games podcast (what the hell) off a country road and into a realm of magic and Jonathan Holmes' chungus, what has, in this past year and a half of extensive backlogging, become my favorite thing on The Internet. Not only that, but between Jimquisition, Podtoid, Dismal Jesters, Podquisition, his reviews, his YouTube LP's, Fistshark Marketing (though, I haven't actually listened to much of that yet), etc. he has provided me countless hours of superb content that I will continue to treasure until he's finally fed up with being the fat fuck who talks a lot about video games.
Whether he's here or there, infamous to some and a messiah to most, he's the man.
Boston's Favorite Son, JONATHAN HOLMES! *DUH DUH, DUH DUH! DUH DUH, DUH DUH!*
It doesn't take long to see why, but, despite my choice of header, Jonathan is just about the smileyest man I know. Second only to Big Man Tyrone.
While some here really don't like 'em, I find it incredibly hard to imagine staying mad at a man like Holmes. He can come off a little condescending on occasion (whether intentional or not), but I know that behind that keyboard and computer screen is a truly swell man who has, like Sterling did for Podtoid for it's remainder until the eventual reboot, begun steering Destructoid into what feels like a second golden age. I've been loving the resurgence of Dtoid's YT channel, the staff comebacks, just how smooth-sailing the front page has been since he took charge.
And while there's his terrific work on Podtoid/Dismal Jesters, what he still does on Sup Holmes really shows his love for video games and why he's perfect for the position he has on staff. He also seems to like it whenever I suggest questions during his streams, so that's sweet! What a sweetie.
Add yet another to the bucket list: Shake Jonathan Holmes' hand and hope he doesn't think I'm a douche.
Heh. That outta hold the little SOB's.