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SeymourDuncan17's blog

10:59 AM on 08.10.2015

Hey, um, I... uhhhh... *runs nervously back to the cblogs*


1:08 AM on 08.09.2015

We're all just dust in the wind

Destructoid. Baby. We need to talk. Big time. 

But, as to not dampen the mood anymore than it already has been, I will be spacing out this piece with pictures of komodo dragons and Persona music. Because both those things are badass and awesome, just like Destructoid was, is, and still can be. 

^ "MESSAGE!" ^

Ever kissed with a forked tongue? It can get pretty interesting. 

Let's start off with the first blow. Something that hasn't exactly made the recent (temporary, though seemingly permanent, given the lack of meaningful communication from the staff side) changes to the cblogs any easier to swallow. 

A short while ago, you guys axed the forums. This was not something I was able to witness first-hand, but part of me is glad I didn't. Not only would there have been plenty of stress and, had I been a follower, a heavy attachment, but, as of now, it's not just locked but gone entirely. It was practically nuked from orbit. The only way to be sure, indeed. 

The more I think about it, the more I feel I have little right to speak on the subject. I'll just say that, from what I've heard, the forums weren't exactly very welcoming. Rape jokes and derogatory language don't sound like fun. So, I can loosely see the justification for a reboot or tighter moderation. But, even then, I've said too much. Maybe that wasn't the real heart of the matter and I've been steered into believing something I shouldn't. Who knows? 

The gist: the intentions (according to Niero) at least made perfect sense. 

The problem we have here is that these intentions are anything but noble or sensible. 

I'm all for segmented quick posts that offer a laugh or two. I'm all for more filtering options. That all makes sense and/or doesn't affect us if we choose to not use them. More options are great!

However, you wanna lower the barrier for entry... for the cblogs? What barrier are you talking about? The one that amounted to little more than clicking 1 or 2 links, writing a blog, and hitting publish? 

You desperately wanna drive up user count... when we were seeing hundreds of blogs per month and a 30% community activity level from a site as big as this? Are you just not satisfied unless most, if not everyone, used every one of Mr. Destructoid's bodacious limbs? That's not how things typically work. 

You wanna highlight the "good stuff" by... giving the more popular users a louder voice? That no longer makes this place about community and, instead, more a popularity contest. Where connections, pandering, and luck matter more than our collective? 

*single tear*

For all the changes this site has made over the years, this is the one that goes against what makes this place what it is more than any other. Frankly, it stinks of horse radish and spoiled milk. It's not about the principle of change, this is about Destructoid. 

You want to turn Destructoid into statistics over community? You want to play favorites with our readers who aren't mods or staff members? Do you even care about our feedback? From what little communication I've seen from the staff, you seem pretty deadset on this particular aspect and for reasons that I cannot comprehend. 

Turning your follower count into a sort of leveling system diminishes the purpose. Just wait until people start rallying followers for the sole purpose of power rather than because they do the writing all good. "Follow for follow!", they'll say. "I'll FAP your blog as many times as I can if you do the same for me!". Pretty soon, this place will no longer be so much about quality, but numbers as well. 

The more popular users will have the most sway and a blog will have 100+ FAPS not necessarily because it's that good, but because 1 or 2 users with a load of followers saw it and either had a favor to lend or because only they found it entertaining. 

How do you not see a problem with that? Sure, the system could've been abused the way it was not even 24 hours ago, but you're only making it worse. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse. The more people you draw to this area of the site, as you so intend, the more sorts of people you're going to see and let's just say some are more cynical than others. 

Do I have any ideas for how to organize the best content with as many users as you predict you may have one day? No, I do not. That's not where my head is right now. All I can think about is how dumb this idea is. 

So, I guess I should apologize for having the moxy to complain without thinking up any way of making it better. I realize the staggering hypocrisy going on there. Maybe I don't wanna bother because I'm just preaching to the choir while the staff continues forward with what they believe will land them the most hits rather than the utmost quality content from very passionate users. 

Nonetheless, that is my piece. Take it or leave it.

Where will life take me next? 

Destructoid is not only where I found a solid as fuck gaming community (for once), but my passion for writing and an actual readership.

Before, it was an audience of two or three friends and the very rare unknown user that had randomly stubbled upon a well-timed blogspot post. Now? I have kept a pretty consistent following of maybe 8-10+ FAPs per blog (that actually matter) and sometimes I have blogs that reach maybe 100+ persons with 20-40+ FAPs (that actually matter)!

Things is, I'm not greedy. All I care is that people are reading what I write. I'm not going to feel any better seeing 100+ FAPs on my blog that just so happen to be from the right folks that read my blog. That's not fair to the rest of the community. A level playing field is what makes everyone of us equal and connected in a way stronger and sexier than most gaming sites. 

If this place becomes what I fear it will become, then I'm gone. I love this place, but it's clear that my input around here is becoming increasingly less valued. I simply do not feel nearly as welcome these days...

"We're game for any input but it's important to consider our motivations and limitations." - Tom

Which goes completely against your "motivations", Tom. 


7:34 PM on 08.04.2015

LUMP isn't very good. So I searched for my favorite things on FurAffinity.

Life has been finally moving along this past week, which means I do have stuff to do, but I'm reluctant to move as fast as possible. So, rather than begin my online driving courses like a responsible adult, I just gave this "LUMP" thing a proper try not one hour ago. Possibilities ran through my head and my fingers pounded out some quick searches of choice topics such as Persona, Alien, and kaijus. 

The blog that would have originally followed would've been a glorified LUMP ad where I only would get paid in FAP's/Dixon's. A quirky look into the dankest realms of this newfangled service which would make even one such as myself blush. 

However, I quickly found that, in it's current form, LUMP is best used as an image browser rather than a search engine. Without searching for anything specific and, instead, sticking strictly to it's home page, you can find some really powerfully interesting or surpremely odd things. You click on this, you click on that, and, before you know it, that rabbit hole is way way deeper than you first thought. 

But, not a whole lot of it was quite what I was after. 

"Fuck it. I know how to salvage this."

For as well aware as I am of FurAffinity (I'm not afraid to say that I use it pretty often), some of my searches came up... very surprising. I cupped my mouth a couple times, lemme tell ya. 

Normally, I'd keep this all to myself. But, I know you sad plums are just as sad and plumy as I am. So, eheh, enjoy? 


Video Games


Zeke and Grilder - The last of us

I could go for The Last Of Us being a bit more vibrant as opposed to strict photorealism. Heck, reimagine the game as a lighter mascot adventure ala Jak & Daxter. They really should fucking do that. That'd be a remaster worth purchasing. 


Doctor Who + Ratchet and Clank crossover

Holy moley! Talk about brilliant ideas. I haven't even watched Dr. Who and I can get behind this. 


Ratchet and Flank

That's right. I kept my Safe Search off. 

Live dangerously, my friends. 


Umbra Wake

This was one of those searches I assumed would turn up hardly a thing, if anything at all. Alan Wake doesn't exactly scream "furry". But, something I have learned over the years is that these communities will always find a way. 

That has not been more reassured in quite some time. 


Persona eyes

It's not often I see eyes take front and center on a FurAffinity picture without the eyes looking up in a POV shot. 


Gardevoir Persona

A Pokemon Persona? Just in case you aren't catching on: That's incredibly silly. 


Party in the Rub' al Khali

Had the Subway promotion gone belly up, perhaps this could've been Sony's next step.

Free FurAffinity prints with select artists! Pre-order now, ya rascals!


Hide yo kids hide yo candy

For once, an inflated character portrait is fitting to the reference material


All's Fair In Love & Mario Kart 8

And she's playing on 200cc. I am not worthy. 


Welcome... To Greenvale

This was my first "Gosh..." moment of the night. Another "I don't think they'll have this.". Bravo.





My Little Lebowski

About 95% of the time, when I'm searching for images pertaining to particular video games or characters, there's going to be at least one bit of pony art within the first couple dozen results. It's like the Internet is turning against itself. We're living in the Information Age and our number one source for said information insists on delivering you fucking ponies. 


Fear of the dark

Turning Riddick into a Lombax? Is this eventually canon? I mean, the third film does get pretty nuts, but not quite this nuts. 



We all just want a Xenomorph we can have a beer with. As feisty as they may be with that tongue of their's, all is forgiven by the time their babies burst out of our tummies. 


GC_Late For the Party

I totally didn't grab this from my favorites. I swear. 



I was so desperately hoping to find something of Chris Tucker's character from The Fifth Element and FA did not disappoint!

Thank you very much. 


Leemoo Dallas

Did someone just shove him into that outfit without any sort of prep? He looks surprised. Or aroused. Or both. I know I'd be both. 


Soothing Morning

I'm not kidding when I say that this search killed my childhood just a tad. I completely forgot about Amelia and all that could be ruined from there on. So, here's something nice. Something that, at worst, may have you wonder just what these two look like having a flesh party. 

Trust me. It's best you keep it in within your imagination. 

I saw Mr. Arrow in positions I never needed to see him in. Never thought he could be in. 





Godzilla wants Subway

I think we've all been there. Kaiju Con is over and done with, their vendors have shut down for the night, you've fought off both Gigan and King Ghidorah, you're exhausted, and you just wanna relax with a nice sandwich. 



There is R63 of SpaceGodzilla. Suck it in





Mike Patton headshot

Sadly, nothing fancy for Faith No More frontman Mike Patton. Which is weird. You'd think Mike Patton fans had more active imaginations. 


Dave Growl Foo Fighter

I was going to caption a pun, until I saw what they already did there. 


dave grohl

All I can muster is me shaking my head in silent, unnerved approval. 


Dramatic Look Diz

I guess I should've at least expected to see some co-op shots of Jonathan Coulton and his fans. The 2% of my brain function that is completely demented and irrational wished for more. 

God, those furry suits always creep me out. I can get down with anthropomorphic creatures, but that just look unsettling. 


011 - JoCobo and Frontalot

Scratch what I said just a second ago. There actually is art of Jonathan Coulton as a Chocobo being ridden by a warrior MC Frontalot. 

I would say I can no longer be surprised, but we still have some real shit to gander at. 



This is genuinely awesome fanart.

There is proper R34 of Ziltoid the Omniscient, however. Much like with Treasure Planet's Captain Amelia, I'd prefer to keep that unholy trite where it dwells. 


Psychostick Fancomic

Considering the source material, one of the band members of Psychostick becoming a T-rex isn't that crazy. What would be crazy is if Rawrb sprouted a horse cock and fucked Alex back into position while screaming Hall & Oates singles. 

Actually, that'd also be appropriate. 

Here's the Bill Nye cover in question. It's twice as splendid as you may be thinking. 


Too sexy...

... yes? What's with the pause after the title? Where you going to explain why you anthropomorphized the lead singer of Def Leppard as a small mouse wearing cufflinks, knee boots, black cut-offs, and grinding down a stripper pole?

Because I'd like an explanation for why you have anthropomorphized the lead singer of Def Leppard as a small mouse wearing cufflinks, knee boots, black cut-offs, and grinding down a stripper pole. 


Deftones - White Pony

This literally is the worst thing. 


Five nights at Fredd........ Freddie's!






Midna colored Ralts, Kirlia, and Gardevoir

Hey! No need to fight over who's best (Midna) when you can have the best of both worlds!

I elect Midnavoir as Destructoid's official new mascot. 



Y-yes, m'am. =o.o= 


Kirby and Hibari

Two adorable pink warriors on an adventure for the ages. I assume Hibari's journey ends with a trip to a plastic surgeon to fix up that face of her's.



I'm sure some of you are into this. I almost envy you... almost.  


Kentauros Ekrixi

It's terrible that I've spent more time watching Monster Musume than I have spent watching Kill la Kill, but it is actually a rather entertaining fanservice fest. 


Shadow Naoto



Naoto's Pimp Hand Is Strong

Naoto-kun demands satisfaction!


Rosalina the Echidna

Your Name + the Hedgehog could turn up worse results than this. However, Rosalina isn't known for her sense of humor. She'd probably just rework the Big Bang again like at the end of Mario Galaxy in hopes that we create a world without awkward Sonic fanart. 


rosalina in splatoon

The squidling reminds me of the "Oh, you!" dog. As if to say "Oh, you, FA! Putting things where they shouldn't belong!". 


Princess *inflate* Bubblegum

I'm right there with ya, Finn. That is one wicked giantess. 


Yay Monday, Princess Bubblegum

Haha! Am I right? Monday's are like the bottom of a bowl of spaghetti.  


Percival +Blaze the Cat

Another genuinely quality fanart!  


MeMeMe! Stimpy Bikini

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd we'll end things here. 



1:04 PM on 07.13.2015

Better With Cage: A brilliant baby

It's 1999. Well, not actually. What I mean is that I want you to imagine that year. It was like a whole damned century ago, but bare with me.

This was about half a century before Cage set the industry ablaze and we all pretended to enjoy his so-called "cinematic experiences". Before we began to humor this madman, giving him naughty ideas and setting him up to be one of the most arrogant developers I can call out by name, he made something actually special. Something that should be remembered, but isn't. Something that people should at least still talk about, but don't. 

It was short-lived, but David Cage was once interested in making video games. Dude was still crazy, though. Because he didn't just make a video game. He made several in one. 

An FPS. A 2D fighter. A third-person action/adventure. 

He (and dozens of others) made fucking Omikron.

This is about where I stop pretending to have played enough to give you an extensive review of the thing.

I have ran around a bunch, done some frivolous dialogue choices, read some things, ran around a bunch more, fed my lizard (or whatever it was), visited a cafe where I bought something that that blind alien from the beginning of Titan AE would probably love to eat, trained in the simulator at my apartment, tons of pointless crap. 

I got almost nowhere with the story. But, ya know what? People can hardly get anywhere with the story in games like GTA before getting their money's worth. There's plenty of fun to be had in just seeing what's up. Though, what's up with Omikron is undefinable. All I can say is that it is super fun. It's a gem of an experience that I think can only be enjoyed in the way I am, more than 15 years after it's release. 

You know how stupid this game is? It's stupid wiith a capital DUMB. 

Everything will age. That cold, hard reality has practically displayed this game's flaws under a spotlight and besides an elephant with a cute top hat. I'm sure people like you or me thought this game was just so cool back in the day, but, once upon a time, we were pretty stupid people. We brought disco back, for Christ's sake. We let Digimon happen. We let Wonderballs slip into obscurity. 

Well, now we can appreciate this game for what it truly is: Very, very stupid. 

However, that's completely okay. You know what else is stupid? Deadly Premonition. No More Heroes. Metal Gear Solid. These are all incredibly stupid things. Why isn't Omikron as fondly appreciated for it's stupidity?  

Peep this: 

In this game, you are you. Yep. You. You are playing you in control of the main protagonist, just like you would be while playing the game. But, you're not actually playing as him in the way that you may be thinking. No. You're playing as him via a transferring of eachother's souls. 

Through a breaking of the 4th wall, the actual main protagonist takes over your life as you take over his... but, in the past. Before you have a chance to wrap your mortal brain around that one, you're tossed into an unknown city where you're almost blown apart by ED-209.

Right off the bat, should you explore enough, you'll find that this place is filled with oh so subtle hints that things are kind of bad around here. Like, ridiculously unreal-type bad. I'm surprised it's citizens aren't more impressed with how well their leaders do the whole oppression thing. 

"Wow. We really messed up, y'all. We can't even take a piss within the comfort of our homes without being on the clock."

When you're as fucked as these guys are, all there is to do is sit back and laugh. 

As I happened about the surrounding areas, I began to feel a happy feeling in the pit of my somewhat blackened heart. This game was not only interesting, hilariously stupid, but fun to just soak in. 

During my entire 2 or 3 hours with the game, there was never a dull moment. I was always finding useful scraps, new indoor environments to check out, some weird distractions, or seeing what little I did of the asinine story. But, most of all, this game rewards exploration and I always love that. 

You know that this game's 2D fighting segments are actually servicable? That they could've feasibly been their own game way back when? 

There's also a sex scene that is, while still awkward, probably Cage's most realistic depiction of two robots in love. I'm telling you, it's maybe even worth a wank or two.

Holy shit, it even has a theme tune performed by David Bowie. 

If that video is anything to go by (and I'm sure it is), there's a lot to see with Omikron. 

I can't wait for when I get back to this game. What time I have spent with it has already gone down as some of the most fun I've ever had with a video game. You should give it a go as well, person! It's easily accessible via Steam and GOG. Or you can try to hunt down a copy of it on Dreamcast. I know I'll be doing that soon enough. 

Sheesh. In the meantime, I need a nap. 


7:19 AM on 07.11.2015

Seymour's Cosplay Bucket List

Last year, I took a lousy step forward into the world of cosplaying at my local Comic-Con. I paled in comparison to about 90% of my fellow attendees, but it was a huge eye-opener. To quickly summarize, it was almost as if I had found some small thing I had really been missing my entire life. Now, I can't enough.

As an onlooker, cosplaying simply seemed to me just a nerdy little prom. A glorified Halloween show. People pouring savings, hundreds of dollars (more?) into costumes they may only wear a few times and to an audience of only those who pay attention to it amidst the thousands of others. That, I didn't get. 

Until I tried it for myself. 

It's much more than just dress-up. It's actually almost like being behind the scenes of a stageplay. There are those playing pretend almost the entire time, but there are also plenty just casually chatting about in sometimes very elaborant costumes. Some people topping big budget getups you see in Hollywood. It was something else. It made me proud, not ashamed, of how much of a geek I am. 

Everytime someone stopped me to shoot off a compliment, it was a huge confidence booster. Even if they were just questioning whether they were right that I was cosplaying "That guy from Far Cry 3.". I was even stopped a few times for photos, I was featured on a cosplay Facebook page, etc.

And look how fucking shit my cosplay was! People loved me! 

This upcoming Alamo City Comic-Con, naturally, I will be attending. Unlike last year, though, I'll be there for more than just a single day and I will not be half-assing my cosplay. 

If you can't tell who I am in the above photo, it's completely okay. There's still plenty of things to do with it. However, those that guessed human Teddie from Persona 4, I don't have a gold trophy, but give yourself a well-deserved slap on the bottom and a refreshing glass of iced water. 

I still need some dress shoes, black lining across my ruffles and sleeves (if possible), to trickle the shirt down about half a size or so, obtain a rose pin, and dye my hair a sharper blonde. When all is said and done, it will be pretty alright. It's definitely been more difficult to put together than my Vaas cosplay, but it's been worth it. I can't wait to see myself in the full attire.

You know how hard it is to find a ruffled tuxedo shirt that is even half appropriate? I almost broke down and just literally bought a pre-made Kanji outfit from Etsy. It would've looked good, but, deep down, I'd have felt a little evil. Untrue. And evil me was set to the tune of Ace of Base and let go off a high bridge a short while ago. We won't be seeing him anytime soon. Maybe. 

I figured I better go as something cute while I still could. I'm 24 and, before I know it, I'm going to be a very awkward-looking 30-something. That might suit an Isaac Clarke or... a Blastoise, but not so much Teddie.

There's no doubt that I will be making both PAX South and Alamo City Comic-Con regular visits as long as they're around, cosplaying whenever possible. Each time, shaking things up with a new do. That means lots of fabric, patience, and a little courage here or there. 

Read along and laugh at the idea of me fitting into any of these roles. 


Axel Steel (Guitar Hero)

Through the angry faces, medium-length boy hair, and pants that were not ripped when they were bought, characters such as Axel were how I channeled my rock god fantasies through the original three (technically four, counting Rock's the 80's) Guitar Hero iterations. But, Guitar Hero eventually became more than mere fantasy. It was where I found my passion for not only music, but playing guitar for realsies. 

By now, I have been playing guitar for 7 or 8 years. It's become a huge facet of my life. Sometimes for the worse (long story), but often for the better. If it weren't for guitar, I would be one unaccomplished motherfucker. I speak through music so naturally and I hope for, one day, to be in a band. I feel I have so much to give to the world of music that I simply can't give on my own. 

Guitar Hero is very important to me. It changed my life in ways almost as profound as some of my bestest of friends or careless mistakes. It's only fair that I at least pay a little tribute to it. Whether by cosplaying as Axel, a male Judy Nails (ohhhh, that'd be fun!), pretty much anyone but that scary, big-mouthed male singer from GH3. Dude belonged in a Honey Combs commercial, not at the forefront of every song in the game. 


Maraca Guy (Mario)

While Sticker Star may have been a polarizing sequel for reasons including it's extreme lack of any interesting characters, it does have a Shy Guy mariachi band! That's not just interesting, that's great! 

Cosplaying as any Shy Guy would give me a great excuse to just shut up and be. I'll shake my maracas (the instrument, you naughty boy) in people's faces, tip my sombrero to all the madams, make some cute noises, etc. I'd probably even try to really sell it by building the costume around me in a fetal position and walk about as such. As strenuous as it'd be, it would be also super and people would want to pet me. 


Malthael (Diablo III: Reaper of Souls)

What a hurdle this getup would be. This is endgame. If I ever cosplay Malthael, you will know I have made something of myself. 

Expensive? Surely. Lots of moving parts? Check. Do translucent segways exist? Not yet? I'll have to fix that. I can't possibly have a crane pulling me along the entire time in order to pull off the illusion of floating, now can I? 

Reaper of Souls was, while overpriced, one of the most satiisfying expansions I had ever played. It gave the core of Diablo III a proper closure, lovely new features, and some extensive added replayabilty. Malthael, Death, the main antagonist of the expansion, was not only as slick in it's design as an oiled up slip 'n' slide, but an awesome boss fight. And that amazing opening cutscene. Boy howdy. 

Give me Malthael over some tired "Diablo" anyday. For someone who's referred to as the "Artist of Terror", his boss fight was pretty monotonous. 


Kanji Tatsumi (Persona 4)

As I said already, I once contemplated going as Kanji rather than Teddie. For one, I wouldn't have to keep my hair long (which I've grown to loathe as I've gotten older... sorry, Nekro). I also wouldn't have to worry about being pretty. It's much easier for me to just look like an ass.

As I've also already been over in one of my Junes blogs, Kanji is someone I really connected with as I witnessed his "Shadow" self. While his experiences didn't directly mirror my own and, in fact, were pretty different, the general issues that Kanji was going through were things I fully empathized with. He's easily my favorite male cast member and I want to wear his skin for just a day or two. 

Or I just want to scream into a camera "What the hell are you pricks lookin' at?!". 


Male Marceline (Adventure Time)

I caught me a glimpse of a male Marceline at last year's ACCC and it was hawt. I told him he was cool and he just pointed at me in approval. 

Getting a proper bass (hell, I'd happily try my best to transition into bass and learn a thing or two for the role) wouldn't actually be that challenging. You can find fan recreations or close approximations everywhere on the Internet. The only challenge would be the tedious task of applying all that make-up. Also, growing my hair out to a suitable length. I just really don't like dealing with long hair!

However, I really would like to get myself into a good make-up centric role. If not Marceline, perhaps Nocturne's Demi-Fiend. 


Johnny Gat (Saints Row 1/2)

Speaking of bad hair days, get a load of Johnny Gat. He's an awesome dude, but a dude who decided that fucking hair was cool enough to sport for two entire games. 

Unfortunately, he is one of my favorite video game characters and his Saints Row 1/2 incarnation would make for an infinitely more interesting cosplay. Unless I went as him as seen in Gat Outta Hell. That's a strong "maybe". However, I also have to consider how important the original two Saints Row games are to me. Heck, for a long time, Saints Row 2 used to be my favorite game of all time and anyone who preferred GTAIV was a sweaty butt.

What sucks is that I would have no idea how to sell myself as Gat outside the costume. He is so different from me. How do I pull off a smooth psychopath without actually being a smooth psychopath? I need a director to feed me lines and inspiration. It feels like wasted potential, just dressing as someone like Gat. Man, I wish I was fine with looking really stupid. Maybe I could get lucky and sync up my attendence as him and a visit from his actor, Daniel Dae Kim, but that'd be a stretch. 

God, and that hair. That'll be hard to explain to people the days following the convention. 


Bandit (Borderlands)

This would definitely be something I'd love to cosplay once I got real fit. Also, I'm not gonna lie: I really wanna yell a bunch and the Borderlands bandits are some of the most quotable video game characters out there. I wanna scream at somebody that I want them to be my new meat blanket or that I once plucked the hair of a dying baby. 

I won't get in trouble either! If they can allow a gangster Deadpool blasting (and I mean blasting) Lil' Jon, there's probably some leeway for a little explicit shouting. 

The costume is so simplistic that going the extra mile with "cel-shaded" make-up and dirtying up the entire look would put me in the higher echelon of bandit cosplays so easily. I wanna be iconic. If not through music, then through being the Nathan Barnatt of cosplayers. 


Alice Teddie (Persona 4)

I almost did. I almost did this year. However, I regret to say that I am not yet that confident. 

Someday, though. Maybe even for this upcoming PAX South. Who knows? I'm already neck-deep in nailing human Teddie. But, I reeeeeeeeeeeally wanna do it! The soft knee socks, the pretty blonde wig, the dress, the panties... I've always wanted to feel what it would be like to dress as a pretty lady. I don't wanna actually be a pretty lady, though. Having to deal with my very own vagina? No thanks!

To avoid preconceptions that I was simply cosplaying as Alice from Wonderland because there are those casuals out there, I'd probably slip a Teddie plush under my apron or something. If they still don't get it, I'll just scowl, snap my gown onto their sides, and skip away. 



Now, if you'll excuse me, in my continuously counterproductive race to lose as much weight as possible before the middle of September, I'm gonna wait it out and order a pizza in a few hours. If only all fat went straight to your bum, then I could stop before I gained any weight in places I didn't care to gain weight in. 


7:59 AM on 06.14.2015

Um... i-is it too late for an E3 predictions blog? Not that I care. BAKA!

I really shouldn't be, but I am excited for this E3. About as excited as I would be for real meat day in the school cafeteria, but excited nonetheless.

I hope that doesn't sound too cynical as I do love playing video games, but I'm becoming less and less interested in events where all we do is announce or tease them. Unless there are actual gameplay demos or some monumentally amazing, Earth-shattering reveals like a new Earthbound (see what I did there?), Prey 2 (again), or the whereabouts of the Dreamcast I lost in a move well over a decade ago, I have to assume the worst because that's what this industry has done to me in just this past year. 

Or Nintendo's regularly-scheduled Directs have finally spoiled me. 

Perhaps if Bethesda's conference weren't today and, instead, way after folks like EA, Ubisoft, and MS, I would not have quite the energy I have now. It'll be nice to start things off with a stream of news I have a great amount of interest in and have some surprises here or there to keep me invested until Sony's the next evening and then a Nintendo conference not half a day away from that. 

What are these things I'm interested in about Bethesda? What will these "surprises" be? Where the hell is my Dreamcast?!

Bethesda will reveal Doom to the mass public and it'll be pretty good 

Not just good, but pretty good. You more rabid fans of Doom may be ecstatic because they bring back that thing I didn't know needed bringing back or they do a reference to a stage or event from the first two that I don't get because it isn't from the first 30 minutes of either title, but I will look upon it with more than a vague interest. 

If nothing else, it's fucking Doom. Even if I don't care about it that much, there's a great deal of significance that Doom holds in video gaming and we haven't been blessed with a full sequel since 2004's Doom 3. It's like GTA or Mario. Another one has to release every so often to make sure our moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandma's, and grandpa's remember that video games are still kicking and they should be very afraid for our future. 

Capcom will announce a fully 3D Phoenix Wright for Wii U, using the engine from Catherine

You don't believe me? Well, it's better that you don't because it's never gonna happen, but it would be amazing. 

Like Doom, I only have so much interest in the franchise, but playing Persona 4: Golden recently has reminded me that I do love a good murder mystery story and they've already proven they can make Phoenix Wright look awesome in 3D. And that was just on the 3DS. 

So, imagine the bar and nightmare intermission scenes from Catherine, overlayed with Phoenix Wright investigations, keeping with the menu-centric court sequences, adding in more dynamic presentation during, and you have a game I would play and do a smile at while doing so. 

Nintendo won't announce another Metroid and both you and I should deal with that

A lot of people will be disappointed by something during Nintendo's conference on Tuesday and my instincts tell me it's going to be a severe lack of even so much as a mention and a wink from Reggie in regards to their Metroid franchise. 

Actually, no. They will announce a Metroid amiibo line and laugh so hard Iwata can hardly even utter his iconic "Please understand.". Reggie will shove Iwata aside and say "That's rude.". But, as he looks into the camera to sign off, he visably wants to laugh. He'll buckle under the pressure, snort several times, then burst and resume pointing and laughing. 

Destructoid will then implement an amiibo subsection of the site where they will moderate all those even mildly perturbed by this news onto it and they will not move from there until they can appreciate all that Nintendo has done for us. Especially the amiibo. And the Powerglove. And Wii Music. And the Virtual Boy. 

Especially the Virtual Boy. 

The inevitable Fallout 4 gameplay demo will put all my fears to rest 

When Fallout 3 released and I first played it, for reasons I still can't figure, I absolutely hated it. I said, outloud, "I... I fucking hate this. And I have no idea why.". My feelings eventually changed and I managed to explore for countless hours without actually getting anywhere with the story, but the weirdest thing is that it seems many first experienced the game the exact same way. 

"I hate this and I have no idea why."

I mean, the games were always sort of crappy and we knew that. Even for 2008, 3 wasn't up to par. But, whatever that mystery element was that we couldn't get over for those initial hours, I don't think Fallout 4 will have that. In fact, I also think (hope) they'll finally fix that terribly broken stealth system and give me a good reason to live out my roleplaying fantasies of my sneaky warrior lady scavenging the wastelands in her Spring gown and augmented Fisto. 

I mean that I use it for my bum. 

Can we finally expect to see this "Greatness" we keep hearing so much about? 

Between the "Big 3", Sony may not be my favorite from a business standpoint, but they are when it comes to their exclusives. They only just barely beat out Nintendo, even with Twilight Princess and Mario Galaxy under their belt.

The original Jak & Daxter is still an absolute treasure, Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando exceeds comprehendable levels of fun, Uncharted 2 is a grand adventure in a box, The Last Of Us makes me wish I still had the capicity to feel human emotions besides "boner", and motherfucking PERSOOONAAAAAAAAAAA!

Will we witness Sony's supposed "greatness"? They may not even be alluding to games there rather than their invulnerable will to make every one of their products black as pitch night, but, if they are, I think their upcoming conference will solidify many of our PS4 purchases. Whether past, present or future. Unless you just do not care for their exclusives, in which case why the hell do you have a PS4? 

Between the Ratchet & Clank remaster (and this is an actual remaster, friends), an assumed Uncharted 4 presentation, maybe a new Persona 5 trailer (!!!), and any number of other surprises they may have in store, I'm almost shaking with excitement!

Well, mostly at the prospect of Persona 5. Can't a guy fanboy every once in a while? 

As for everyone else, they can kindly go and... make me wish I had paid more attention to them before now 

Final Fantasy hasn't put out anything worth my time since XII (for as quality of a title XIV: A Realm Reborn was), but I want XV to break that streak. Deus Ex: Human Revolution wasn't my cup of tea, even as a huge stealth fan, but maybe I should give it another go? Maybe Mankind Divided will be amazing? 

What if EA actually ignores sports and Battlefield for just a few flippin' moments and grants us a Mass Effect 4 gameplay demo that invokes the sort of quality we got with Dragon Age: Inquisition? Perhaps they'll even do a new Mirror's Edge some proper justice. 

Will "girl wood" continue to be a thing? That'd be cute. 

I just want this E3 to be a solid one. 2013's was definitely something else thanks to the heat Sony brought with their PS4 deets, 2014's was pretty nice and that's even if 2014 was a pretty ho-hum year for actual releases, so let's keep these hearty thrusts moving in the right direction because it's pretty damn awkward when you just can't make contact!

I know most were not even fans of these last couple E3's, so, if only for those downtrodden peoples, I hope the next few days are a welcome change of pace.

I know what it's like to feel as if your passion for gaming is fading because of all the cynicism that's easy to get wrapped up in recently, but all it takes is that one special push and everything is suddenly not so bleak and, in fact, you could poop flowers and vomit puppies if it were possible. 

What are you looking forward to? You just watching to get in a few quick laughs? That sounds plenty reasonable. 


5:31 PM on 06.10.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (FINAL DAY)

[Everyday during the month of June is Persona 4 appreciation day! Come see for yourself, and get in touch with our products!]

I'm flustered at the amount of praise my Persona blogs have gotten over the past week and a half. Sweet as candy. You are all my little Tootsie Rolls. 

However, I regret to say that it's become too much of a burden and in more ways than one. I was still getting a kick out of flexing my creative muscles and trying to somehow come up with a way to discuss 3 hours of mostly grinding and Social Link'ing that felt both humorous and interesting, but turning playing Persona 4: Golden into more of a "job" has fast become unsavory. 

If this were a job, I'd be pushing through the frustrations. But, as is, a game I am playing for fun is beginning to seep into my time and health more than I thought it would. I can't go on my walks which means I won't be losing the weight I would like to lose before Alamo City Comic-Con, I wake up groggy to make sure I don't miss some arbitrary deadline I've set for myself, I'm even beginning to play the game when I don't want to.

I've also lost count how many times I've looped The Tiger Warrior and Mountain Sound on my Spotify at this point. 

I saw this as a jumpstart into getting my life back together. A test, to see how my work ethic was holding up. But, all things considered, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. I'm doing plenty fine by just simply moving forward rather than turning my escapism into something more cynical.

With all that said, let's say we bid farewell with some more spirited Persona 4: Golden discussion? This one's purely out of love for the game and for you! Because, apparently, some are getting a kick out of these. Don't you have dinner meets, hair appointments, or bug bites to scratch or something? 

Of the many bros and bras I expected to come to respect, nevermind closely relate to, Teddie was pretty far down the list. As adorable as he is, he seemed like nothing more than comic relief and an excuse to bolster a "mascot" character. However, if my last encounter with him was any indication as to how they're going to go about fleshing out his character, I'm definitely on-board. 

Overthinking leading to depression is something I understand all too well. Once you're in a deep enough trance, you corner yourself, and you can't let go of even the most lingering of thoughts? Oh yeah. That's not fun. Some of my lowest points in life are thanks to bouts such as those.

It wasn't like the game just suddenly decided to give Teddie a third dimension, either. Questioning his role in life has been something he's been casually discussing with the rest of the team since around the time we saved Yukiko, but it's only now begun to culminate into something much more. With all he's been through lately, it's only natural for him to question pretty much... well, everything. 

Also, why Alice Teddie isn't the real mascot of Persona 4, I have no idea. I thought the message of this game was to live out your life as pretty as possible? What's this about "truth"? Well, that's just unnecessarily vague. 

*Usher's "Yeah"*

So, Risette had to skedaddle into a strip joint that's almost entirely devoid of strippers or hardcore drugs? That's real nice. I was at least considering the possibility of fighting disembodied boobies or sentient g-strints, but I guess that's too much to ask for. 

Actually, if this "TV world" is a reflection of our repressed emotions and hidden selves, I'm especially surprised there isn't entirely too much ass n' titties laden about. I mean, I'm repressing the urge to fap right now.

When I finally am titillated, the game probably expects me to want to save Rise as soon as possible. Well, ya know what? You've tugged at my heartstrings too much already. That girl can stay in there until what little she's still wearing rots. There's a guy who needs a Ritz cable or whatever who was very transcendent about our transaction and I should be helping him. That's something I've learned to appreciate over the years. 

So, back in the real world, away from the monsters and cruel teases, I decided to take it upon myself to help out our local citizens with only the most trivial of tasks because how else is a game like this going to bulk up the run time without implementing entirely new mechanics or going through the trouble of writing stories?

You are foul, sir.

I think my only real complaint regarding the gameplay so far would have to be the "quests". Literally every single one thus far has been a simple matter of obtaining a thing, somebody wants that thing, and now give that thing to them. Attaboy!

And what of my spoils for these tasks? I risk my life for a Demon Statue and get a few "royal jellies". Yet, I grow and deliver 3 heads of cabbage and get this super useful shovel melee weapon. Hilarious in their lack of balance or consistency, but this just further makes me yearn for a mini-game or two like the rhythm one I suggested for Band some blogs back. 

"Quest 08: 'Yo! I bet you can't play a trombone as well as my aunt. Drop a mad beat, sucka!"

Or go back to using the Velvet Room for sidequests. The ones in Persona 3 were a tad bit more creative, if not still tedious. 

At least I was able to clear a bunch of them in one trip back to Yukiko's castle, as well as level up my Matador to earning his Mudo Boost skill. I'm beginning to feel as if my playing around with Matador here is a prequel to his infamous tomfoolery in Nocturne. 

Working night shifts at the local pub might not be great pay, but it is at least interesting. 

They see me rollin'...

Not one night into my night shift at the hospital and things have already begun to make my brain rattle. 

Secret experiments? Haunted halls? A totally hot nurse that may or may not be alluding me into a false sense of security so that she can drug me and leave me to wake up in a bathtub with an overbearing cut on my left side and a message graffitied onto the wall, in my own blood, "Thanks for the donation!"? 

Who knows?!

Helloooooo, nurse!

You better believe I'll jump at the chance to come back! I can't wait to find out!


[On to our final music and R34 choice!]

I can think of a no more fitting tune for the closing of these blogs than "Snowflakes". I mean, let's not kid around in pretending that the end of blog is anywhere near as significant as a parting between good friends, but I guess I'm cliche like that. 

The whistle of the keys in that somber tone flawlessly drives home the subject of the track. Such a beautifully downhearted piece. In fact, slap Mary Elizabeth McGlynn onto the vocals and you'll have something straight out of Silent Hill post-1. That could have a lot to do with how much I connect with it. I love Silent Hill's soundtracks. 






















I'm telling you. It's hard finding high-quality, non-lewd though still sexy R34 of Naoto or Kanji. Dante's got that ground covered anyway...



Some bonus Persona 3 stuff: 


See ya never again!


6:48 PM on 06.09.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (June 9th)

[During the month of June, everyday is Persona 4 appreciation day! Come see for yourself, and get in touch with this latest series of blogs!]

I knew it. I just knew it! I did zero battling in these past 2-3+ hours. I could smell a session like this coming sooner or later. However, I'm not even the least bit peeved. As far as hours-long straight of video game story and life sim goes, it could've been much less exciting. 

What have you done this past week that was even half as exciting as growing cabbage in your very own backyard? Yeah. That's what I thought. 

Oh and I saw Yukiko in a bathing suit. 

But, boy, were those some beautiful heads of cabbage. 

Not even King Yu can handle the gals' cooking, it seems. I was trying to put on my best manface the first time I tried something of Yukiko's, though it seems the game had me fated to kill over from the sheer nastiness of whatever it was I attempted to shove down my gullet this time.

But, did I really have to spit it out like that? Geez. I was embarassed for both of us. Pay no mind to that, ladies. There's a way more capable of a dude behind the scenes. Perhaps they'll remaster Persona 4 once again, after we've implemented taste and smell into our Playstation devices. 

The campout scenes were wonderful for me, but it continued to be quite baffling for our protagonists. Not pictured above, Chie and Yukiko marvel at the audio and visual splendor that is second best girl Hanako

Not just during the campout, but Yosuke seems generally antsy around Kanji. Worried about whether they'd be safe sleeping in the same tent together because of his assumed interest in men, and I'd like to think it's all just the nature of being young and naive rather than being homophobic. In that respect, it was sort of... "cute" witnessing the dynamic between them three. Just some innocent high school students discussing boys liking boys and why that's maybe a little scary. 

Basically, what I'm saying is they really need to kiss already. 

It's like Jurassic Park, but with 100% less Jeff Goldblum and the T-rex is Mr. Morooka. 

More on the topic of Kanji's sexuality, I've heard here or there that, even by the end, it's sort of left up in the air and I think that's pretty cool. I mean, it's not like it's all that important, but it does make him slightly more interesting in a way. 

It's as if he's no longer repressing these feelings, just simply confused and, as someone who didn't come into his bisexuality until his early 20's, that is something I can even further relate to in Kanji. 

I recall a trade of lines between Kanji and his Shadow self...

SK: "What's wrong with doing what I want to do?"

K: "It has... nothing to do with that."

He has no bound sexuality, nothing he's sure of that he wants. It's just that, at that point, he wasn't comfortable with that side of him and, from this, came the blatantly flamboyant Shadow Kanji. I'm really impressed with the way they've handled Kanji as a whole. I think he's still my favorite of the cast. 

Will you ever stop being so goddamned cute?

I sure did a lot of bonding this session. We've already concluded that the combined might of Chie and Yukiko's cooking can distress even our heroist of heroes, we came this close to a threesome between a few pent up pals in the prime of their youth, and I even made Marie some friends! 

Can I get something, too? 


I bend over backwards to keep this town safe from concentrated terribadness, so, under normal circumstances, I would tell Dojima to stick his golf clubs up somebody else's ass. However, I keep warming up to him and especially Nanako. She doesn't like it when we "fight" anyway. 

Nanako's every bit as human as the adult characters and as complicated as someone in her position would likely be, while the detective and the father are two contrasts that are clearly frustrating Dojima. Both feel genuine and realized rather than opposable 3D models merely defined by their most apparent attributes. This goes for pretty much all the characters. 

Yosuke, Kanji, and me. Marie, Yukiko, and Chie. Me, Dojima, and Nanako. We're all like in our little worlds. These trios are proving to be very entertaining. In fact, if they ever decide to film for a sequel to Mean Girls, I'd be putting in a good word for several of the ladies of Persona 4: Golden. Or maybe another Parent Trap reboot starring Hanako and Risette. 

Whom, speaking of which, I just met!

I don't care what Tyrone says. Risette is a very lovely lady thus far. 

Oh and Adachi is still a nosey arse.


[Here we go! The daily music and R34 choices!]

I had a feeling this would turn out to be Rise's dungeon theme. Doesn't quite beat out Border Of Insanity, but it does have some vague simularities and it's a little more interesting than Sauna. 

I don't know about you, but I get a little tingly whenever they sample that heavy breathing. Because I know a pretty Japanese lady did that and Japanese women are great. That might get a little distracting. That throbbing bass...


















That bra is terribly sexy. 

See ya next time (hopefully with some Naoto or Kanji R34 for once)!


5:49 PM on 06.08.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (June 8th)

[During the month of June, everyday is Persona 4 appreciation day! Come see for yourself, and get in touch with this latest series of blogs!]

To say that I have been playing Persona 4 would be putting lightly. I have been living it. Being in that world, listening to the soundtrack on my walks, thinking about fusions on the pooper, even the sweat off my brow tastes like Persona 4. Though, that might just be a byproduct of the stimulants I've been taking to keep myself awake. 

Got any plans for today? Persona 4. What about the following week? Persona 4. Is there anything else you're doing with yourself? Persona 4. How many fingers am I holding up? Persona 4. 

Fresh off of yesterday's intense session, it's fitting that this session was relatively easy-going. About the only thing of note that happened was Kanji being ushered into our queue of party members. There wasn't any rite of passage where we paddled his hindquarters in gas masks or had him run laps around the peak ridges of a volcano, but we did break him in with a few Shadow battles. 

I still keep forgetting to change a new member's tactics to "Direct Commands". Rookie almost blew my chances of defeating a spawn of Wealth Hands! Unlike Persona 3: Portable, this game feels much more balanced around being in full control of your team so there really is little reason not to make use of the feature.

I suppose the other options are more suited for grinding earlier sections. 

The only grinding I can foresee myself taking part in is toughing it out solo and nabbing all the experience for myself in order to grasp on to those ever elusive late progression skills for certain Personas. 

Jack Frost obtains Mind Charge at level 25, you see. I've racked my brain at the possibility of such a glorious skill turning up casually at some point down the line and maybe even sooner than I think, but it's given me a nice excuse to get a feel for exactly how this game is like without several other lovely people to count on to pick me up when hope has turned to doubt and then doubt quickly turns to "Well, at least I can just respawn at the start of the floor.". 

If I'm looking to play through this game a second time and so soon, NG+ on Very Hard (where retries are disabled) is definitely the way to go. 

Since I was all by my lonesome and with his moveset limited, Jack Frost was like the child you let win during sports, fights, or cards. Everyone else had to pull their weight and Jack was just there to finish them off.

"Oh yeah, that was all you sonny. You did great. We're super duper proud of you. You want some pizza, tits, and ice cream? Enjoy. You deserve it."

Once I throw him into the Compedium for good, I'll tell him his life was a lie and perpetuated by those he thought were closest to him. 

If I were to wind up tape around the left button of a mouse, open up Microsoft Paint, and then play air hockey with said mouse, I would likely end up with something more indentifiable than the above furball. Nonetheless, I traded up Legion for this "Nozuchi" and Phoenix is now almost completely irrelevant thanks to Incubus (who has a cone dick, I might add). 

To it's credit, Nozuchi is a powerhouse when it comes to ailments. I almost never used them in SMTIV, but they seem to connect plenty more often in outings such as Strange Journey and now Persona 4: Golden. I love watching Silence go to work, leaving once troublesome twats no more dangerous than a fruit fly. Or inflicting Rage all like "I think he mad." and then slapping them up across the noggin with a folding chair all like "Yeah, u mad.". 

I think I just found my new favorite Arcana card. 

Not a sex book. 

Not quite the modest reward I thought I'd get for my excellent exam scores. 

Actually, despite him being a bit of a hardass, I'm beginning to really like Dojima. He now lets me out at night because I asked nicely, he secured me a small fortune, and he handed over his old scooter just for me! He's so close to becoming my daddy. I hope I can ask him about girls without things getting too awkward. God, I just want Yuki-senpai to notice me. 

He also knows Adachi's a piss-shit. 

Reminds me of another certain quell/hate relationship. 

Please, just kiss already. 


[And now we move on to the daily music and R34 choices!]

I searched up a playlist I'd been keeping track of for a little while and was pleasantly surprised to find it updated with another P4: Dancing All Night remix and by none other than Silent Hill/No More Heroes composer Akira Yamaoka!

It's weird to see so many negative comments on the video. I think it's a splendid remix. I absolutely love the darker edge and the echos/juts of the sampling before the verse kicks in. 

I mean, regarding the lyrics... they've always been a little crappy here or there. This rewrite is no exception. I choose to ignore the truth and mix in my own interpretations! You think I'm gonna let that ruin my fun? I guess I've never been one to focus on lyrics. I'm instrumentation/melody first and foremost. 

















"Now's our chance! Are you ready? 

Okay! Let's do i- NO SENPAI, NOT THAT! =;A;= "


6:13 PM on 06.07.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (June 7th)

[During the month of June, everyday is Persona 4 appreciation day! Come see for yourself, and get in touch with this latest series of blogs!]

Dangnabbit. Just when you think you've hit the last floor, another pops up. I'm sweatin' my ass off, here! Who the hell can even afford to keep a bathhouse this size up and running? Where's the practicality in making it over 10 stories high?! Someone, clearly, was ambitious. Though, why set your ambitions towards a freaking sauna?

Why not a hospital with a 36-inch HD television and Macbook in every room? Or an apartment complex with soundproofed walls pre-installed? Or maybe just the greatest ever slushie stand? 

Kanji's bathhouse was so darned stuffy that I had to pace myself. I got it down to the wire, even. Just a couple days before he would have been killed, I snatched him up from his doppleganger boyfriend and now we love eachother. I'd say a congratulatory orgy is in order. 

But, let's not be hasty. Before all that, I did some stuff. Like, hang out with Marie again. Because Nekro said that I really really should.

I wonder if she'll have a Shadow self of her quelled "nostalgia" at the tail end of her supposed dungeon, and then cue the exposition spout. All the while, she's probably one of the more interesting Social Links. That and that fox that always goes *yip*. 

I've started saying that around the house every now and again. *yip*

Am I gonna have to take this into the Velvet Room? First Yosuke, now you? Well, at least you're not trying to hit on her. 


You are... just adorable. 

Social Links are, more and more, becoming my center of attention. What seem like such essential Personas are beginning to branch out into all sorts of Arcanas and I'm starting to get really interested in what their skill trees are like. I have a few fusions lined up just for a skill they won't even have until they level up, so why not take it a step further?

This, of course, means more careful time management. Feeling around for which Persona is most relevant, grinding out the Social Link while making sure not to neglect other activities, then fusing the Persona before anything especially dy-no-myte happens within the game's many dungeon floors. Right now, my focus is on my daycare job and it's Temperance Social Link for Nigi Mitama's Diarama and Recarm skills. It's about time I upgraded that puny old Dia. 

I figured I'd find the Death Arcana lying with Adachi's Social Link because, well, let's just say that while I don't know all that happens with Persona 4's story, I know some vague details. Mostly pertaining to Adachi, and he has not been exactly subtle about them even given what little I know. 

I see what you did there. 

I think his Social Link is one of the new ones for Golden, so maybe he wasn't quite as prevalant in the original release. But, in Golden, there's something incontestably awry about his pressence. 

I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally see what you did there. 

You know the old "hiding in plain sight" schtick? Yeah. That isn't always not obvious. In fact, you've been doing a really poor job of it, Adachi.

Despite your detective moniker, there's no escaping the feeling of being watched and during times when it can't just be a coincidence. You stalk Junes immediately after we start wrecking shit inside the TV, you appear at night immediately after we rescue Kanji, and there are only so many times you can be all "WHOOPS DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?" before you start becoming completely and utterly suspicious. And with that, you only recently joined the local police force. 

Maybe you're actually an alright guy with a dark sense of humor and a nose for trouble, but I'll eat my shoe if I'm wrong about this. 

The man, the myth, the legend.

Let's start jumping back into the heart of the matter: Kanji needs a hero. I may not have a cape or tight spandex, but I do have Groucho Marx glasses and an A-Team of Personas to back me up. 

Like last time, I did a lot of fusing and made exasperating use of the Compedium. Not only is it demanding, but it's becoming rather expensive. I'm starting to feel really guilty that the only reason I sometimes go into work is for the pay. If these were real jobs, I'd have to be lying about what I was doing with the money and that's rude. "Don't go spending it all in one place!", they say. 

If you wanna keep rubbing down glasses and dressing up like an out-of-commision prostitute, that's exactly what I'm gonna have to do. 

My light in the darkness. 

My little mutagen.

My miniature mommy.

My ace in the hole.

My bruting mascot.

My strength. 

My defense. 

All prepared, I took on the last couple floors of the bathhouse dungeon and finally met up with what was easily the best boss fight thus far. 

Both thematically and contextually, it was superb. Though, I admit, part of this is not only from a biased love of Troy Baker but also a very, um... personal bias. 

Before I say anything else: I am not what you'd call a "sexist". I see men and women as equals and think no less of either sex than I do of the other. With that said, Kanji's Shadow self spoke to me in an almost downright disturbing way. It perturbed me that much of what he had to say I have actually felt at one point or another.

During high school, I was never the "man" I needed to be in order to stand up to bullies, break normality, or even keep a steady relationship. Most incriminating, I was extremely sensitive. I cried veeeeeery easily. I have vivid recollections of moments where my peers poked fun at me for what they probably felt was a lack of fortitude and what's sad is that, if I were a female, I most likely would have been left alone.

The moment where all this clicked for me was when Shadow Kanji said:

"Men are much better."

I jokingly used this term in my last blog, but that was most definitely an honest-to-goodness trigger. The manner in which it was spoke was a big factor as it was not only passionate but very antagonistic. 

It's not that I was even ridiculed by women. In fact, it was mostly men. Despite, being rejected from what little significant relations I've had with women, being (or at least feeling) alone a lot of the time, and growing up finally coming into what would become an acceptance of my bisexuality, my brain was sometimes in a spin. Shadow Kanji was like a manifestation of one of my many lingering thoughts during that time and it was... definitely something else. 

As far as how the actual fight went, did you notice how his Poison attacks always only hit the males and that his Rage attacks always only hit the females? I thought that was a cute little touch. Between that and the Nice Guy/Tough Guy backup, it felt very rounded out and it was very entertaining. 

... but, man. It wasn't the fight that was most intense. 

I would have been about as humorous as I usually am in these blogs, but building up to writing and then, of course, actually writing about Shadow Kanji has made me mentally exhausted. Lots of repressed nonsense I had to poke and prod through for material. So, I think we'll end things here. Apologies if this day's EIGAYJ is not up to snuff. 

Even though a major plot twist may be totally obvious, literally everything else about this game is getting better everytime I switch it on. I still have a very long journey ahead and I couldn't be more excited to see where this game takes me next. 


[Once again, we've come to the daily music and R34 choices!]

I have no idea what you call this sort of music in your part of the world, but, down here, in Texas, I've always referred to it as "Tejano". 

As much as I may dog on my hometown and state for being about as exciting as a tofu turkey dinner, there's something very wholesome about the music around here. So close to the border of Mexico, we have plenty of Mexican food restaurants, events celebrating Mexican culture, and lots of construction workers/contractors blaring stuff like what you hear above. 

Those unmistakable melodies and progressions. It feels just like home. 
















I tried so hard to find some Kanji R34, but to little avail. Looks like I'll have to dig just a bit deeper. 

See ya next time!


4:24 PM on 06.06.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (June 6th)

[During the month of June, everyday is Persona 4 appreciation day! Comes see for yourself, and get in touch with this latest series of blogs!]

I'm starting to get the sense that here is where the story of the game will begin to slow down for a while and much of my time will be spent either battling or doing side activities. It feels as if I've done more lollygagging in this session alone than much of the whole rest of my time with this game. 

I've become so accustomed with my day-to-day that I am probably stressing more over tending to mine and Nanako's garden than I am over making sure to rescue Kanji. After school, you may find me frolicking side to side about the Shopping District like someone had just lit my butt on fire, only to realize that "... oh yeah. There's this guy that needs my help or he's gonna die. I really gotta stop clowning around. We're...


bear-ning daylight, here!"

*Seinfeld bass*

I have a thing for tribal/warrior girls and I've never been one to turn down a lass with purple skin. But, Yaksini isn't just pleasant eye candy. Turns out, she's also pretty damn handy for fusion purposes! I've already used her twice and I just keep coming back for more! 

Fusing, I mean. Not... not that. But, if only, eh? 

I've done a tremendous amount of fusing this session, actually. Fusing and jotting down other fusions for future reference. It's become pretty taxing. I mean, look at just what I've lined myself up for:

Slime + Angel + Izanagi = Anubis w/ Makarakarn (at level 59)
Jack Frost + Orobas + Yaksini = Ares (at level 25/ pound out Chie S. Link!)
Jack Frost + Archangel + Yaksini = Hua Po (at level 25)
Eligor + Yaksini + Oberon = Narcissus (at level 24/ when S. Link is level 2+)
Yomo + Eligor + Izanagi = Queen Mab (at level 25/ when S. Link is level 1)
Oberon + Yomo + Archangel = Matador (at level 24/ possible S. Link level 2+)
Legion + Vetala = Nigi Mitama (at level 23/ when S. Link is level 3)
Vetala + Yaksini = High Pixie (at level 22)
Legion + Eligor + Berith = Kaiwan (at level 24)
Vetala + Phoenix + Jack Frost = Gdon (at level 31/ when S. Link is level 5)
Legion + Phoenix = Incubus (at level 28/ find Devil S. Link + level 3)
Phoenix + Legion + Principality = Power (at level 27/ when S. Link is level 5+)

Sometimes I have to hold off from browsing the fusion search and take a few in-game days to calm down. "I'm already going to be plenty awesome. I've got to stop being so awesome at this.". You ever get that? I get that all the time. 

Just don't go thinking you're more awesome than me. 

I like you. You seem as if you know your place. 



I've told myself, time after time, "Save before fusing.". Because fusion mistakes worse than even that mutated bulb of Hulk heads can happen and happen more often than you'd think. And don't forget about registering! You fuse a new best friend and all that work spent grinding out those extra levels and skills will have gone to waste if registering wasn't previously on your mind. 

I almost flipped a shit and a half when I thought I had neglected to register Jack Frost, a common Persona in my fusions, before fusing him with some other guys. You would have literally heard something on the news about this the following morning. Thankfully, I had it all covered and all I needed to do was redo walking over to the Velvet Room from the save point inside the TV. 

However, I did forget to save before attempting to fuse King Frost. By the time I was in the Velvet Room and ready to stir the pot, I shrugged it off and figured there was no way I'd happen upon another accident so soon after my last. 

That arrogance led to this little shit: 

Dancing there. Smiling. Taunting.

You are absolute garbage. I can't even remember your name. Just that you are fucking garbage and shit and you look like a Digimon, you idiot. 

So, I had to redo an in-game day and a floor in Kanji's bathhouse. But, I eventually got my way:

More like 'hee WHOA'!

But, ya know what? I still love this fusion mechanic. These creatures may be static, but their stats, fusion combos, skills, etc. can vary depending on how you go about the process. It's like a crafting system, which is already addicting, but with a hint of chess. You're always moving around skills and Personas, thinking way ahead of time, in order to come out on top with some brilliant creations. 

It's a hell of a thing to search up what the end-game Personas are like and realize that that's gonna be me at some point. 

Besides all that, I finally decided to see what Marie's Social Link was all about. 

"Shutup baby, I know it!"

Her naivety over simple subjects is charming. Quick to distress, but easy to please, she's pretty interesting. It's like she reacts with those long mumbles out of a nervous reaction rather than because she actually intended to sound like that. Or it's just that she spends more time writing poetry than socializing that words, like when writing, just start tumbling out. Perhaps a little bit of both. 

Then I got peeved when fuckboy Yosuke showed up to crash our lovely, personal time by trying to hit on another innocent lady.

You haven't looked at me straight this entire visit.

I expect you think buying me steak makes this cool? No. You're only covering that candy ass of your's because you know that I know you just came over because, yes, Marie is pretty fine. Well, and with all due respect to Marie, but I'm not nearly as gullible. You're just digging yourself even deeper, you rapscallion. 


What? Is my fly down? 

Is nothing sacred?!

Since I have Power lined up for fusion in a few levels, I also decided to start really grinding out Nanako's Social Link. Well, not just for tha Powah (heheh, good one), but for as much as I sometimes irk at her voice acting, I still find her completely adorable. Unfiltered cute. I wanna give her a piggyback ride or something. Do her hair. I don't know. 

I'm happy the translators chose for her to refer to me as "big bro" rather than "onii-chan". The latter carries with it a connotation I'd rather not have forced onto Nanako. I read entirely too much hentai. 

I wanna run through a second time up to this point, with enough Courage, just to tell Dojima it wasn't her fault. Nanako whimpering is my trigger. 


[And now on to our daily music and R34 choices!]

Even the battle complete music I never get tired of in this game. It's not just a congratulations, it's a fucking party! 

Not just in this song, but in most songs across the entire soundtrack, I can't get over how much I love the tone of the instruments. The keys/synth especially, and Shoji has done really great work with the bass as well. Both Persona 3 and Persona 4's soundtracks are probably the only video game soundtracks I can listen to at almost any point in my day. I've had them on repeat whenever I go on my walks and the time just flies on by. 



















Anyone else here into being dominated by magic? 

Hopefully with me rearing up on Kanji's boss fight, I'll have more to talk about next time. See ya then!


3:51 PM on 06.05.2015

♪ Everyday is great at your Junes! ♪ (June 5th)

[During the month of June, everyday is Persona 4 appreciation day! Come see for yourself, and get in touch with this latest series of blogs!]

Okay. I've got this iteration nailed down. This is my first full session with 99% of the content completely new to me and I have some pretty neat stuff to talk about. There's even some bollocks I should have went over during the last blog that I now find absolutely worth mentioning off-hand in the following paragraph. 

Ahem. Did you know that a dried pickle was what netted me the required level of Courage to concur the "beasts" that supposedly dwelled at the shrine at night? That I had no idea co-op attacks were in! I even made this: 

Perfect segway. Because I needed to post that. 

Speaking of segways, here's another!

I wasn't kidding when I said this game felt like real life high school. Just without the Proactive, disappointment, or real life consequences. I spent the better part of the days leading up to the exams period studying, desperately trying to raise my intelligence or at least work out exactly why it was I needed to know who it was that translated some trivial English to Japanese that one time.

Thankfully, though, in the end, it seemed worth it! Well, that and actually paying attention to the answers given out almost directly during my classes. 

For all my confidence, though, I didn't think I'd actually manage to rank within the top scores! I would've really impressed Yukiko-san if she had been around to see them. I'm not gunnin' for these awesome grades for my health, ya know! 

At least Chie and Yosuke seemed impressed. Like that's accomplishing anything. 

I made lunch for me and Ayane to have together because I felt bad for continuously missing Band practice.

Out pops a surprise reveal from Naoto! Er, pardon. "Slender young man". 

Fun Fact: I actually did think Naoto was a dude for a long time a while back. I found "him" incredibly sexy. But, whether male or the other kind, Naoto is pretty fine. Yes, that's still a fact. "Androgyny" stacks amongst some of the best "-ny" suffix terms around! I think that was an article on Thesaurus. 

But, sorry Gaj. Yukiko is still best. However, to be fair, there really isn't much else to go on at this point with Naoto. Much of mine and the game's attention has been on Kanji "Boy Lover" Tatsumi.

Perhaps it's my biased affection for Troy Baker, but his performance is far and away the best of the bunch. Smooth as ass cheeks and he does some pretty ace yelling without coming off as forced or, in some way, obnoxious. Anger or distress is always a hit or miss with video game VA's. I also appreciate that they kept his introduction short. I don't think we would have gained anything from being beaten over the head with his harsher side to then be finally shown that, suuuuurrrrpriiiiiiise, he's actually completely misunderstood.

After witnessing Yosuke and Chie's "Shadow" selves, any person with half a third of their brain would see the pattern: Each major protagonist has a side of them that manifests into mirrored depictions and you're gonna fight them. This aspect of the plot was kept fresh because the next character, Yukiko, had been much more reclusive than the others. There was an air of mystery around her, so it was nice to have an extremity clear things up and now she's a more interesting, open character for it. 

Now, with Kanji, it's clear he suffers from some kind of complex. He's overly-sensitive and often rash. His character beyond such face value attributes aren't clear, so a "Shadow" self is a perfect way to move things along.

Right now, he's probably my favorite. Even ignoring Troy-senpai. 

Oh, I wish he was always this cutesy. 

I'd watch it. For the plot, of course. 

Don't worry, Kanji! Your mustachioed rescue party has arrived!

I'm enjoying Kanji's bathhouse a whole lot more than Yukiko's castle. Many of those long stretches of hallway are gone and those square rooms previously reserved for treasure chest locations are now used for the basic layouts. Things are becoming new, more complex, yet slightly less monotonous. Then again, for all I know, there may be some later traversal gimmicks that fly in the face of a good time ala the castle's teleportation floor.

Dungeon-crawling, in general, has been really heating up. 

You can't hide behind that mask, Hulk Hogan. "I seeee youuuuu!". 

Here we see 5 Golems preparing for next year's Mardi Gras.

Hee-ho, motherfuckers!

Would you believe that I took on a third part-time job? Between my translating at home, day care during the week, and now a pub at night, I have no right to say that I'm ever without anything to do. Does anyone actually go to bed in this game unless they're forced to? I sure don't. Band, gardening, studying... my main priority, though, besides battling, is managing my Social Link with Yukiko. 

More and more, I'm convinced that she wants my weiner. I think my heart fluttered a bit when I asked her straight out for her number while stalking Kanji, with the way she said "Call anytime.". I don't think she knows exactly what it is she's getting herself into, but I'm gonna go ahead and take that literally.

At the very least, I can't let her end up with someone like Yosuke. If that ever happened, it'd be because Yosuke is so darn pushy. Not in a jerkish sort of manner, but he's a rather desperate young man. At this point, given even the slightest hint of a pervish ulterior motive, I turn into Mr. Morooka around him. "You ain't looking to be hitting on some girls now, are yeh? This is an investigation, you little rat! Set that loser brain of your's straight and focus!". 


[On into the daily music and R34 choices!]

As much as I may be preferring the actual layout of Kanji's bathhouse, I'm already missing the castle music.

I absolutely love how the raving verse section transitions into that somber breakdown with that frantic percussion line. This is the first dungeon and it perfectly encapsulates the overwhelming nature of the situation for our heroes. Both the terror and feeling of hopelessness. I do really like Sauna, but I think it'd be more suited for a mini-boss than for dungeon-crawling. 

I probably wouldn't mind having Muscle Blues as Kanji's dungeon music. That'd always be worth a chuckle. 














More Chie! I think my goal for tonight will be to find some really good Kanji R34. My choices wouldn't be so limited if I didn't have to exclude the nudey ones. Confounded, Destructoid!

See ya next time!


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