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SeymourDuncan17's blog

My Favorite Game: Finding a new favorite game
7:46 AM on 09.19.2014
VIDEO: What kind of Pokemon (collector) are you?
4:23 AM on 09.16.2014
inFAMOUS: First Light - A flashy new coat of paint, with one breakout feature
11:01 AM on 08.29.2014
A poetic retelling of my experience with Silent Hills' "P.T."
12:10 PM on 08.14.2014
SeymourDuncan17's 10 Favorite (NEEEEERD!) Fetishes
12:46 PM on 08.11.2014
(VIDEO) The Last Of Us - A Photo Mode journey through Remastered
8:59 AM on 08.05.2014





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About
Just a guy who loves video games and music. Also artist on the rise!... maybe!



Wanna talk? I'm friendly. Wanna play? Shore. ESPECIALLY ROCK BAND BECAUSE I LOVE ROCKING OUT WITH MY COCK OUT!!!!!!





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I needed a break from the, sometimes, slow-burn collectathon that is Kirby: Triple Deluxe (it's so FUCKING CUTE, though!), and that break wasn't to be spent playing more video games. Perhaps I've had enough for today. 

But, what else is it that I do besides play video games? Why, talk about them of course!

It wasn't until a couple or so years ago that I started to really think critically about video games. Get in to the mindset of what our very trustworthy reviewers find themselves in when they just wanna have fun

That's the key point there. Before then, I thought having fun with a video game was almost just appreciating it in passing, not thinking too much about it, while experiencing whatever bombastic, thought-provoking or downright sexual splendor it had for me to experience. Thinking too much about the fun you were having would be to miss the point! STFUAJPG!

Then I began to appreciate video games in so many more different lights. 

What was once "I liked the gunplay in Halo. It felt visceral." was now "The enemy design and AI factor so greatly in to your movement around the almost arena-like battlefields that you'll naturally find yourself thinking on the fly, in the moment, and using the environment and your weapons to your advantage in a way you thought were almost lost to shooters of old. You're honed in. The gunplay is polished and said gunplay is put to such great use. 

It's alright. Tenouttaten."

Sometimes, I no longer had to dig deep to find a game's fatal flaw. New standards arose, for better or for worse. That was when, I think, my journey for a favorite game truly began. 

And now, sometime later, we're here. What is my favorite video game? 

Really? I don't fucking know yet. 

I first thought back to Saints Row 2. It's vibrant and exciting open world is still amongst the best you'll find despite it's lackluster art and graphical design, which is really all that needs to be said. It's gunplay and driving meet just enough averages that the act of playing it, generally, doesn't get in the way of appreciating it's design beyond.

The open world is, naturally, one of the most important aspects to any open world game, and I love SR2's updated Stilwater (one 'l', people). It's many indoor areas and extensive underground locales, it's nooks and crannies, it's architectural variety, and let's not forget the soundtrack (indirect as it may be, it has at least some baring on your enjoyment of Stilwater). Is it great? Well, it has Down Under and Gangsta Bitch a few flips away from eachother. How's that for perspective? 

In theory, it's still my favorite game.

Problem is, the actual technical performance doesn't hold up at all. Whether it's PC or consoles. And after a solid two years of 45-60fps gaming on my notebook, performance has become a real sticking point for me. It's buffet of activities and side distractions, it's awesome open world, it's great campaign, it's endless customization... almost seems like nothing amidst regular frame drops at an otherwise 30fps cap. Get too much on-screen and I'm actively forcing myself to find the fun in playing with what's essentially a slideshow. 

I know, in many ways, I can still have plenty of fun with it, but I'm not sure I'd still truly consider it even amongst my favorites. 

Well, if we're going to apply a similar line of thinking to other open world games, shouldn't I absolutely adore GTA IV? Because while many do have good reason to dislike it (especially coming off of a game as expansive and eccentric as GTA: San Andreas), it's open world is literally the best

It is PACKED with painstaking detail and oozes passion for visual and architectural design. Every goddamn alleyway is a brand new adventure. To this day, I'll pop it in just to walk around for a tick and I'll usually find something new every session. Like a competently-sized cemetary, complete with civilian mourners. Just... tucked away in the corner of one of the islands like it's no whoop. 

Civilians banter and animate realistically, weather effects and day/night cycles bring all sorts of thick atmosphere, it's varied and very appropriate soundtrack echoes through the heavy traffic, and it's physics systems are still impressive. It's a genuinely immersive and fun to explore place, GTAIV's Liberty City.

It's a shame there's almost nothing to actually do in it outside of lukewarm takes on bowling and pool, the horrendously drawn-out campaign, or forcibly making your own fun with the police chases. As much as I want to make physical love to every corner of this great virtual city, I gotta say the brakes slam fast when there's not much fun outside impromptu walking/driving simulation. 

The open world might, arguably, be the most important aspect. However, it's definitely not the only important one. 

To not drag this blog out to an ungodly degree, let's say we get faster and more IN YOUR FACE. What about the more likely candidates?  

Guitar Hero 1 and 2 are what got me way more heavily into music and even playing guitar, and I've had literally thousands of hours logged across every Rock Band (even LEGO... which I love!) iteration. Harmonix, as a company, I owe a great deal of the better parts of my life to.

And I really... really don't wanna think about all that money I've poured into DLC.

Important factors to consider, so what about one of those games?

The inspiring amount of creativity put into platformer Super Mario Galaxy is hard to deny.

Even at it's most dark, Galaxy is so darn bubbly. Everything makes me want to either squish it, eat it, or rub up against it. Outside of Kirby, modern 3D Mario is about as happy as gaming can get. It's a feeling so infectious that it's hard to complain about it's lack of challenge, and it's design is even quite awesome despite. With each "galaxy", you're not retreading tired ground, you're jumping into a whole new playpen of fancy powers, whimsical platforming, and stupid Goombas. 

Some minor padding aside, it's a lively, soulful and breathtaking experience that I can play over and over and over. Even if I may be playing as a sociopathic beast of badden.

Any game that good and worth playing endlessly is bound to mean something?

Fresh off of a new IP starring a super douche now turned superhero, Insomiac graced you and me with Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando

Seriously. In just a single short year, they totally trumped the original in every way and then some. Back in the day, man. When that was totally doable as long as you had a team dedicated enough. An insanely extensive campaign with a wide array of locales, a polished up and now totally satisfying combat system, competent racing and space combat to break up the usual shooter gameplay, a wonderful sense of humor, etc. 

Gaming doesn't get much more simple, while far from monotonous, than this. More than Dynasty Warriors or Earth Defense Force, Going Commando is my therapy. BLAM BLAM KABOOM! 

... maybe Going Commando is my favorite? 

I've already sung my bard's tale of praises of Alan Wake in another blog. In retrospect, it was a bit hyperbolic, but my thoughts are practically the same as ever. It's not gaming's best narrative and it's not amongst a master class of game design, but it's a game I cannot stop thinking about. I am completely invested with it's universe (moreso than with ones as fleshed out and exciting as Mass Effect or Elder Scrolls) despite it's potential holes and "just the tip" cliffhanger (you're killing me here, guys). 

Fuck. I wanna play it right now. For a third time. It MUST be my favorite!

Our forgotten brother Jim Sterling's review of Deadly Premonition says it all, really. But, to recap: DP is the business. You're dealt it, you don't know what to make of it, it may've even hurt a little along the way... but, you know it's fucking great. It's as close as gaming's gotten to perfection in "so bad it's good". What's not to love in that? It was innocent yet ambitious, fun as hell, and a little tragic in it's lack of mainstream success. 

If we're judging my favorite game based on how much it has brought a smile to my face, Deadly Premonition would be it. I just don't think the magic would be there a second time. Another playthrough in order, perhaps? 

As my first foray into the core SMT franchise, Shin Megami Tensei IV was an adventure I will remember fondly for the rest of my life. 

My sense of wonder and awe was second to no other game I have played. Every boss demon had me wide-eyed and intimidated (some had my mouth agape or even had me straight-up terrified by their mere concept), every other demon encounter tickled my interests, the gameplay (while easy to fall into a groove with after a while) was never not about as satisfying as turn-based combat can get... 

Though I did absolutely hate the Tokyo overworld map design, sometimes making backtracking and exploring a temporary Hell. But, hey, *SPOILERS* you can directly influence your player choices into creating an ending that destroys all life within the entire universe for all enternity. Uh huh. 

That pretty much seals the deal? 

With that said, across my 18 hour journey through The Last Of Us: Remastered, I experienced a tale far more epic than most 50-100+ RPG's. 

Alan Wake may include some of my most favorite gaming lore, but The Last Of Us' narrative strength is in it's characters. Not to overstate things, the performances are fucking outstanding and real as the clothes on your back and butt (unless you're naked reading this) with dialogue equal in quality and subtlety. Whether it's in the way a character's expression quivers or morphs under pressure, the way someone may move their body, or just in the total lack of delivery. 

You're not beaten over the head with EMOSHUN, you're not left hanging at the end, it a simple A to B story told brilliantly at a near-perfect pace. To say nothing of the tension and unadulterated brutality to be found in the gameplay on it's Grounded difficulty mode, The Last Of Us is one hell of a package with only minor quibbles holding it back. 

Jesum. The Last Of Us MUST be it!

Point is, I think it's too early to tell. Gaming being the passion it is for me and given my curious and observant mind (*wank wank wank*), back and forths are bound to happen. 

At the very least, I'm always on the prowl for new favorites. Critique has become something I look forward to as much as actually playing the game, which might be why it's so impossible to pick an absolute favorite. Every one of my most-treasured gaming experiences are special and gnarly in their own ways. 

Would probably be that much easier if I could feasibly chunk in a few military shooters. 









Some of you nerds play Pokemon. I'd wager a lot of you, actually. 

A big part of the appeal of Pokemon (whether it's the cards, in the game, the figurines, the plushies, ANYTHING) is in the collection mentality. It definitely wasn't the first franchise to entice children to empty their parents' wallets on fancy promises and little more than stupid plastic or a convenient addiction-in-a-cart (and it won't be the last), but it's one of the most popular to this day. 

Are you so easily able to ignore the marketing hype of "Collect 'Em All!"? 

Back in the day, for me, it wasn't so much the games. No. Something far more expensive (sorry, Mom!). It was between the cards and figurines. A surviving relic of that time resurfaced last December during the move to the new house and is now nestled safely in my closet. Slightly better than collecting dust in the corner of the garage for weird insects to pick away at my rarest Pikachu's. I wonder if thick paper tastes like delicious chicken to them?

Whether it does or not, we'll never know. Unless we invent a machine essentially able to reenact The Fly. That sounds equal parts terrifying, dangerous, and awesome. 

Oh. Here's my collection. 









All (First Light) in-game shots taken by me via Photo Mode!

inFAMOUS has been a franchise I've wanted to see do incredibly well. In that respect, it's been a little hard for me and the 5 year-old IP (and, to think, we've had a whopping 5 standalone releases in just that short time).

The first inFAMOUS was a world not quite ruined, not quite post-apocalyptic, but hanging by a thread with power struggles on several sides. Between the decrepit, grey, though detailed scenery, people near or completely dead on the sidewalks, the many TV broadcasts, and the rest of it's citizens either running rampant or desperate for food and protection, there was a lot going on attempting to pull you into the experience.†

Genuinely immersive with an extensive campaign bringing solid as hell mission design, inFAMOUS was a brilliant and original comic hero adventure. Unfortunately, though, it was heavily-barred by it's technical issues. It's sometimes abysmal framerate stutters are not exactly easy to go back to.†


inFAMOUS 2 fixed every possible issue from the original, while creating new ones. What were once the reasons I continued through inFAMOUS were now the reasons I found myself wanting to quit.†

While the original inFAMOUS didn't have god-tier storytelling, it was a fun little romp with charming, if not purely inoffensive, character personalities and arcs. The second inFAMOUS, on the other hand, turned Cole from casual gruffman to snarky Norman Reedus. The latter may sound more interesting in theory, but I couldn't dig into this new take on an established character. This wasn't some alternate universe tale, it was official canon, making it very hard to take seriously.†

At one point, I decided I no longer cared about doing any good because I now gave no shits about the story or protecting it's characters. Instead, I began crafting my own story. A story where Cole had been slowly becoming an arrogant, power-hungry fuckwit over the last couple years. Once Nix became a prevalent figure, she became my muse and we wrecked New Marais from here to there.†

Sadly, that only carried me on just a bit further.

The mission design was also more lackluster, possibly due to the addition of the (granted, highly functional) mission editor giving the developers a bit too much slack. As far as the city, it was now more set dressing than a character in it's own right, with far less interesting contrasts in color and tone.†

However, it played and ran considerably better. I will give it that.†



Enter inFAMOUS: Second Son. A new inFAMOUS for a new generation, featuring a story with more awesome facial and motion capture than you could shake one of those silly ball suits at.†

Rather than create new problems or greatly improve on it's foundation, it was a happy equalizer between the original and inFAMOUS 2. The entirely new and creative powers made you truly feel like a super human, the game's antagonist was a highlight with prowess only matched by the industry's best, the mission design was generally solid and even occasionally awe-inspiring, and while it's city wasn't too interesting, thanks to the PS4 it was incredibly detailed and looked very... VERY pretty. I'm also a sucker (punch!) for 90's grunge/rock, so it's ambient music tracks really hit me in the good spots.†

In many ways, it was the best inFAMOUS yet. So, far be it from me to miss out on this particular DLC, which I have just finished a couple hours ago.†



To finally start with the actual bloody review, Fetch is easily the most interesting of inFAMOUS' line of playable characters. Nevermind that we don't get nearly enough sister/brother relationships in video games (I seriously kept mistaking them for bf/gf... which is not to say the game is laden with incest), Fetch's story ends up being the most sympathetic and personal.†

Beginning with Fetch being held captive by the DUP, recalling events leading up to her capture, then quickly bursting into events leading up to right near the beginning of Second Son proper, it's a satisfying tale in structure and quality. Despite knowing the gist of what goes down beforehand, it vastly improves on what little characterization we got from Fetch in the vanilla campaign. ††

In fact, the most central aspect of First Light's story, Fetch's struggle to reunite with her brother Brent, is told excellently.†

To Fetch, Brent is not only a brother that she dearly loves, he is what keeps her level-headed. Given the many burdens of her unfortunate past, Fetch may not be crazy-crazy, but she's definitely unhinged a few gears over time. Whenever she is stressed and without Brent, rather than relapse, she looses control and gains a new power, cleverly contextualizing what was just "sap enough juice" in the original Second Son. †

If you choose to take part in side distractions, you may happen upon the graffiti tagging. Made shorter and more intuitive for those that somehow disliked what I thought was a really neat use of the Dualshock 4, most of the tags are tributes to Brent that effortlessly invoke a soft "Awwwww.". However, even early on, it's established that their relationship is very important and it is most certainly felt on the player.†

That "breakout" feature I mentioned in the title? You might assume I'm talking about this DLC's addition of various Survival modes. While those are most welcome and good ways to get a lot of milage out of Second Son's fantastic core gameplay, that isn't even the best part of all this.†

The story's climax made me, honest-to-goodness, tear the hell up.†



To not give too much away, if you've played The Last Of Us, think back to that scene just before the intro credits roll and you have some sense of what this particular scene is like. I don't think I've ever witnessed such a convincing emotional breakdown within this medium. All things considered, it comes fast and surprisingly, and I can't help but continue to think about it.†

With all that said, I'm sad to find that much of what I was looking forward to seeing with Fetch's prequel, being her and her brother's compromising addiction to street drugs, has been relegated to short comic strip scenes. I can't praise the sister/brother story we do have enough, but I have to wonder how much better it would've been to get a more fully fleshed out campaign which included those sections in-game and with motion/facial capture.†

Regardless, in short, the story is easily this DLC's best quality.†



What you get otherwise is, more or less, a primer and fresh coat of paint onto the original Second Son.

Fetch may only be able to use Neon, but it's been retrofitted to play a bit like a combination of Smoke and Neon. Close-quarters feels just as viable as long range, and her Neon skill tree can be dug into quite a bit once it opens up after the story is finished and you continue with free roam and/or Survival (something I'm always happy to see in open world titles).†

Speaking of which, the main story missions may provide you with a few minor twists and surprises over it's approximate 3-4 hour length (my favorite mission being an attack on six drug shipments towards the end, which escalated very well), but much of the mission design is, sadly, even more akin to tired formulas than what was found in Second Son. Glorified Neon "turret" sequences, introductory side challenges, as well as the to-be-expected (though considerably scaled down) shoot/beat 'em up sequences.†

It's a condensed Second Son experience, without much of the added flair. It's pretty good, but only truly worth seeing through again because of the excellent narrative. I already own what is essentially it but far better.†

I also must call into question the "Lumen" side races. There are far too few, considering that each only last a mere 5-10 seconds. Some of them are even as dull as total straightaways with no payoff other than "Now I have another skill point to spend, I guess.". Honestly, I was more enthralled with the Where's Waldo-like security camera searches from the original Second Son (which have, actually, gotten a minor upgrade in First Light as "Police Drone" searches).†

Only having half the open world to explore was understandable, but also disappointing nonetheless. Though, if it's any consolation, what you do get to explore is still big enough to where the Neon speed boost "clouds" come in handy.†



You can also still get into DUP/gang fights, rescue civilians from random hold-ups, and collect "Lumens" (basically this game's rendition of the Crackdown orbs, always an addicting little feature).

And, of course, you can take part in the game's pretty darn great Survival modes as Fetch or (if you have a Second Son save file) as Delsin. Quickly jumping between characters in this mode really makes their different playstyles standout. Fetch is clearly faster, without any of the hassle of optimizing her output by constantly absorbing new powers. Delsin is slower and more complex (convoluted?), but his wide array of attacks and sheer power balances things out. I didn't think much of the differences between Fetch and Delsin until playing more Survival, and I now appreciate that Fetch isn't just Neon-only Delsin.†

As I've said, if you're into that sort of thing as much as I am, there's no telling many hours you'll be getting out of Survival alone.†

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all, it may have it's issues, but First Light is one of the good ones. DLC has gotten a bad rep pretty much ever since Gen 7 began, but releases like First Light are competently-priced and will hold you over for a good amount of time if you're the kind of person into seeing what all an experience has to offer.†

Now I can finally get back to playing (even more) Diablo III: Ultimate Evil Edition.†











I can still hardly believe it
The industry has done something amazing
Kojima and del Toro on a new Silent Hill
In awesomeness and delight, I am bathing

But, there's more to this reveal
A demo, not just a trailer
Say what you will about the name
But, "P.T." is anything but a failure

Topped search results
Thousands and thousands have downloaded
It's no surprise that this teaser
has already been decoded

Despite it's relevance passing
I've decided to give it a shot
It's short, and it's free
My undivided attention, it has wrought



That was one erroneous loading screen
But, it seems it's finally ready
I do some walking and some camera zooming
Though, honestly... eh, it's not that scary

Then I hear someone knocking
Some rustling behind this door
And this room is clearly familiar
I could swear I was here before

Suddenly, my usual path is sealed
"So a door shuts, and you expect me to cower?"
But, that knocking from a minute ago
is definitely getting louder

I pass by that, now, ajarred door
hearing a baby's crying call
I peak through for a looksee
Some undead gal shuts it closed, but that's all



Wait, what the FUCK is THAT thing?
I'm not going near this!
I'm pretty sure it's not out
for a hug and/or a kiss

But, what else can I do?
So, I slowly shamble forward
The monster then disappears
Into a dozen cockroaches scampering around the floor

Yet again, on through the back of the hall
With my grit officially broken
Now things are getting interesting
That ajarred door is now completely open!

In here, I find a flashlight
Behind me, the door slammed closed
Oh and here's this friendly fetus
Ripped of flesh and unclothed

That's nice.



After some light inspection
someone toys with the knob
First frantic, then calm
At this point, the demo is definitely doing it's job

I focus more in on the mirror
Pondering my distorted reflection
It shows the door slowly opening
It seems those actions had some connection

The room and halls are now dark
My nerves totally wrecked
I look to the right and then the left
That there is nothing actually has an effect

Through the back once more
Not quite the same song
It's even darker
And, to add to that, the radio's back on



I creep up to it's table
The DJ, mostly static, then gets clear
"... I said, look behind you."
What do you mean? There's nothing he-











I love blog trends! Talking topics is very exciting.†



It's innumerous, the ways in which people can enjoy video games. Some more obvious than others, such as things purely visual or having to do with the polish and feel of the gameplay. Or some not so obvious, such as a game's underlying mechanics or something the player can become attached to on a strictly personal level.†

Then there are people like me. 23, with the sexual drive of a young teen. I'm always looking for new (and morally in-check... ish) ways to excite my todger so that I don't end up in court for something rather awkward, and video games often do some pretty exciting things (whether intentional or not).†

There's something oddly freeing about sharing one's fetishes, and this guy ain't in the mood for holding back.†




1. Dead Or Alive chickas



I didn't know it at the time, but the above image really... interested me, an innocent and confused young man of 13 or 14.†

It's not so much these days that the female stars of fighting franchise, Dead Or Alive... interest me. However, when it was cool to like fakey bouncy fighting gals, I very much liked them. Replaying the intro scene to Xtreme Beach Volleyball (via what was probably an Xbox demo disc) ad nauseam, continuously going through all the intro/outro scenes of each of the girls' Dead Or Alive: Ultimate campaigns, etc.†

Actually, one of my first crushes was. specifically, Kasumi. Yet, for no particular reason, I think. The young mind thinks in such shallow ways that it was probably because her boobs were slightly bigger than the others.†


2. Rouge the Bat


I ain't afraid to admit it. This isn't even the weirdest I'll get.†

Throughout the Sonic games Rouge has been featured in, she's never either totally a baddie or totally on the side of Sonic and friends. She's a tantalizing grey area gal. Little bit of a succubus look to her as well. If you fuck Rouge the Bat, you are livin' on the edge!†

But, let's be frank. At conception, there wasn't much to go on. So, what were the first two things you noticed about her? And don't tell me it was the wings and the ears.†



They've eased up a bit on them as the years have gone on, but those were some perky as hell knockers. They're still one of her most defining features.†

However, it's her slick mystique that really adds to her appeal. You don't know if you'll wake up in a hard daze with vital organs missing. You may even just wake up to a nice, in-bed breakfast. Either way, she's damned sexy.†


3. Goodra

Credit: slugbox; slightly altered to be more blatantly sexual!

Okay, alright. I'm a teensy bit afraid to admit this one. It is a rather odd one.†

By that same token, no matter how straight-laced you are, no matter how much you think you despise furry tomfoolery... there's a Pokemon for you. And, by that, I mean there's a Pokemon designed to speak to that kinky side of your brain. With over 700 creatures, you'll be taking quite a lot of time to try and prove me wrong.†

Ahhhhhhh! So cute!

Goodra has been somewhat of a hit in the Rule 34 community since (hell, before) X and Y's release. He/she's plump, cute, and ripe for all sorts of funky situations! Perfect DeviantArt fodder. Personally, I'm starting to become fond of the sliminess that would come with a Goodra cuddle. Ain't nothin' too bad like a natural lubricant, with a lotta ground to cover.†

I mean, I've never been that fond of BBW's... but, I'd probably do a Goodra.


4. Catherine (with a 'C')


From the very start of visual novel/action puzzler (still such an interesting combo) Catherine, 'K' Katherine is immediately pushing you, Vincent, the player character, for a more involved and mature relationship in a very stern manner. You have zero context, so you don't really care about these two just yet. In fact, you'd probably rather walk away than wait.†

You're begging for a little freedom, something to loosen you up.†

Then 'C' Catherine shows up.†



That curly blonde hair, the sultry blue eyes, that innocent voice with her frisky dialogue, the body... I fucking lost it during those scenes where she tries to seduce Vincent.

She is a sharp contrast, both visually and conceptually. Essentially the polar opposite of Katherine, only out for frilly touchy feelies. She wants to know your deepest pleasures, and will happily oblige. She's a girl I could project any of my core fetishes onto. And she'll back you into a corner until you can't help but give in. She's a pushy one, that Catherine.†

If it had not been for first introducing us to Katherine, 'C' Catherine wouldn't have been anywhere near as impactful. C's most tantalizing features stuck out all the more, and it was fucking tough playing the gentlemen around her.†

Probably why I didn't get any of the good endings.†


5. Midna (Imp)



If there was one video game gal I'd like to call my "waifu", it'd probably be Midna. As much as I'd tell you I'd prefer someone more quiet and down to Earth, someone like Midna would tickle me pink all the same.†

She's playful, sassy, adorable, and she has one very sizable edge over most characters here: magic.†


The limits of her powers are never fully-covered in Twilight Princess, but while we do know that she can grow into a giant, mighty destructive beast and alter Link's form from human to wolf, we might as well assume she can also shrink people. Community artists have been going nuts with that and, lemme tell ya, non-specifically, I love the giant/giantess fetish.†

Look, I'm no stallion, but if I were to put my pompous pecker up imp-mode Midna, I'd probably hurt the poor girl. So tiny. She'd have to scale me down to her level and then some anyway, so why not just micro-size me and toy around with that? That'd be something! Oh boy, would it be.†


6. Elena Fisher



This is actually a fairly recent one, as, a couple weeks ago, I went through the original Uncharted as well as Uncharted 2 for the first time in quite a while. Still great games, but I never realized until now... how much I wanna do Elena.†

I suppose I have a thing for cute, though tomboyish/formidable girls. I've been saying this for a long while, but when cute girls get sexy, they get reeeeeeally sexy. There's a slight unnaturalness to it. Like, you assume they just want to spoon or cuddle, but then they stick a chapstick tube up your bum. Caught you off-guard, didnit?

Speaking of which, she has a butt. You can't deny that.†

There it is!



7. Birdo


Take a wild guess.†


8. Kirby



Take a wild guess.†


9. Tali 'Zorah



Gaming's most adorable alien being. A sweetheart with balls, though. Figuratively. But, then again, I ain't picky. Either way is good. All I'm sayin': cute girls with gusto are awesome. Remember that.

Even before Mass Effect 2, she was always in my party. She even takes a liking to shotguns, which are better than everything else that aren't even weapons. She knows how to steal my attention.†

In more ways than one!

Can't speak for any of the other relationship scenes from Mass Effect 2, but I really enjoyed Tali's and they solidified my fondness for her. I did all I could to get her interested, and I wasn't even out for the inevitable sex stuff. I just wanted her to be my guuuurlfrand.†

The sex was more than welcomed, of course! That it came up at the last second, totally under my radar, when I had assumed we wouldn't get a chance before the end-game "suicide mission" made it all the more special.†

I then made sure to always keep her by my side during said mission. And we did it!†

The mission, I mean. The sex too.†


10. Chie Satonaka



Because of course.

Just like with Pokemon, everyone has their Persona character pick. The franchise is filled to the brim with very pretty folk doing pretty young folk things. That Persona 3 and 4, in particular, focus on these "Social Links" only furthers your attachments to your favorite characters. They're so integral to the game's dungeon crawling sections, and they're typically very well done. It's a brilliant synergy of visual novel, life simulator and dungeon crawling.†

It's no mystery why people love Persona so much.†


My personal favorite, though? Duh. The fun-loving tomboy, of course! What little have you learned from my previous postings? I'm totally into that sort of thing. Pay the fuck attention!

Not the farting in your face sort of tomboy. Just enough to not be a total girly-girl. Down with that sort of thing and up with short-haired, tight-legged, steak-loving hoydens (I wasn't aware of any synonyms for "tomboy" and had never heard of that word before this last Thesaurus search)!†

... and then we (US folk) all remember she's only 17.†











Lately, I've been jamming out the PS4's latest, The Last Of Us: Remastered. Feeling emoshunz, killing zomb- *ahem*... infected, daydreaming about Tess (imagine me serenading her with this song in some dirtied up long sleeve sweater in a backdrop of corpses), and getting a lot of milage out of this "Photo Mode".†

This is actually my second run through of The Last Of Us, my original being when the PS3 version released. And, ya know, it's still one of my favorite games. The gameplay has it's imperfections, but it's interesting and, on Grounded Mode, very satisfying. The story and pacing of said story, though, is where the golden chick as laid her golden egg and I hope age does it well. Most eggs are rather smelly when left out too long.†

The above video is a documentation of this second run through of mine. Mostly using Photo Mode and my mind-blowing artistry in photography, but also using some gameplay captures via the PS4's Share Factory. I think it came out pretty nice! One of my better videos, for sure.†

Tell me what you think? It's very very heavy on spoilers, so maybe don't watch it and go play the game. That'd be great, and tell your friends I told you it was awesome so they can play it too and I can feel good about myself for some more stuff.