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SeymourDuncan17 avatar 2:04 AM on 12.25.2013
Seymour's Fact-Checked 2013 GOTY Awkwards
Destructoid? A word, if you please.

What took place during yesterday's "Game of the Year" awards was just sickening. As I am typing, I am vomiting. Still vomiting. Eugh. It's everywhere.

Why did you choose X over Y? Also, Z wasn't even a nominee! WTF? Well, I probably don't have all (or even one) of the answers you want, fellow concerned community members. Because, most likely, I am not Hamza, Steven, Chris, or any other Dtoid staff member. Even better: I am a REAL gamer. I actually PLAY video games. Not like those jerks. 

So, here are some REAL awards from a REAL gamer just like you! 


Best Platinum Games Game - Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance



FUCK YOU DESTRUCTOID!!!!!1!!1!1!111

GAME OF THE CENTURY - The Last Of Us




Best Game I Haven't Played - Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance




Best DILF (Down(Loadable Content) I'd Like To Fuck) - The Stanley Parable HD Demo



Eight. 

Eight. 

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight.

Eight. 

Eight.


Most Awesome - Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon




Best - Super Mario 3D World




Stinkiest Piece of Shit - Bioshock Infinite




Best Indie Game - NOT Gone Home



Nope.


Best NCILF (New Character I'd Like To Fuck) - Tanooki Rosalina




Most Tolerable Non-Game - Beyond: Two Souls




Most Responsible For The Downfall Of Destructoid - Hamza Aziz



Fuck. This. Guy.

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