I was going to trend it up by doing a 10 Things You Will Probably Not Read About Me thing, but I think I will, instead, snap to a slightly more obscure trend and that's describing to you... probably my biggest dream game I can conjure.
But, hey, here's
something you didn't know about me: I love zombie games. And I'm still not tired of them. I don't say I love zombie games with just Left 4 Dead 1/2 and Dead Rising 1/OTR clinched between my bossums, I cram as many f*ckers as I can in there. Black Ops' Zombies mode, Resident Evil 4, I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!!1, Zombie Apocalypse, Dead Nation, Plants Vs. Zombies, Stubbs the Zombie (another favorite of mine), Saints Row: The Third's awesome zombie peds cheat, Dead Space 1/2 (.... sort of
zombies?), Headshot Z, I can go on and on.
One game that stands out amongst all of those is last year's Dead Island. A game I played for quite some time, despite it's (eventual) average-ness. Because this was as close to a Fallout/Elder Scrolls + zombies + survival game I was going to get. Again, it smelled of rotten, redundant, human flesh by the end of my playtime, but I still enjoyed it overall.
What went wrong, you might ask? Well, nothing much actually. You may've caught on to my thoughts on it's repetitive nature, but also the characters were laughably bad and forgettable and... that's about the extent of my problems with it. I mean it had a unique and awesome combat system, weapon-building ala Dead Rising 2, a huge open world set on a tropical island (which is no better place outside of an airport for me), vehicles to drive (I never once understood the complaint about the driving), a crapton of loot to plunder, headshots actually meant something, many things!
For those first 3-4 hours, I thought I had found my dream game.
But then I found myself hoofing it back to old environments over and over and over and over, looting the same travel bags and trash bins (on top of that, there's so many and I just feel all too obligated to loot EVERY SINGLE ONE), bashing and kicking the same old zombies again and again (the spawns didn't seem to change much if at all) and, of course, doing the same 2 or so types of missions (which I wouldn't necessarily complain about if weren't for everything else). And just HOW long was that bland as heck sewer section, now? HOW LONG, TECHLAND?!
Geeeeeeeez. And those gun sections? MAN. They were cool at first, a nice change of pace for sure. But then they kept dragging them on and it's not exactly super satisfying gunplay like your Gears of War's or Halo's.
Actually, fuck it, the gunplay in Mass Effect 1
is better than this.
But there is hope to be had, now. Gameplay usually improves from new IP to IP sequel and I hope Techland gives this one another go and really
knock it out of the park.
So developer dudes, I want some things.
Give me some characters with some weight and freaking class. The perfect example of this execution would be Left 4 Dead 1. They're, arguably, stereotypes, but they're done right. And you might even say their stereotyped nature makes them more entertaining. It's contradictory, but their stereotypical attitudes (along with the believable and classic back and forth dialogue) make them memorable.
(.... hm? Wha's that? Left 4 Dead 2? That had Rochelle. So no. Sorry.)
Ya know, maybe... just maybe
if the other characters were visably with you at least some of the time, there would be an opportunity to flesh out their personas in-game instead of in those (thankfully) sparse and horrid-looking cutscenes.
Give me some truly memorable moments. The only parts from the game I can recall are either a mish-mash of killing zombies, that moment you see the plane going down which obviously (uninspiringly) references LOST or the intro sequence. Granted, I never finished the game, but I didn't drop the game so quickly either.
Give me some gunplay, but make it awesome and don't have it overstay it's welcome. Space it out a bit. A perfect balance would be about four fifth's melee and the other fifth pew pew pew. OH and let me be able to mod guns with pieces of steel and wood for bayonets and stuff.
Give me some more interesting environments. But, don't take that as "Give me forest environment A, plus desert evironment B, plus space environment B....". Nono. just have everything feel connected in some way as well have a bunch neat spots to paint red. A handful of the hotel sections in the game were pretty cool as well as a couple random buildings further down the road, but everything else felt... "nyah". They got the job done, but awesome environments don't just "get the job done".
Finally, give me something along the lines of some tower defense sections. Sort of like CoD's Zombies. Baracade doors, set traps, limit the ammo, etc. The excuse for these being, naturally, a zombie ambush "you just can't hold off" or maybe an especially ginormous zombie that needs some peppering down from traps as well as your guns and other weapons.
Don't bother with a story. Please. Too much time is spent making a story for a zombie game
that could be spent towards polishing up the most important part: the gameplay. Left 4 Dead didn't need a gripping drama story to keep you engaged, all it needed was some great-ass characters.
Hopefully Techland or anyone else going for an open world zombie epic as their next game take note. I know people out there want a game like this. Am I right?
LOOK WHO CAME: