On the Internet, I'm like any other anonymous, wannabe socialite. But, in the real world, I'm a shipping container of blazing BBQ Goldfish snacks. I'm ever so slightly interesting, with a talkative nature (granted you're the one who fires up the conversation) and a sense of humor ranging from sophisticated to completely childish.†
I am a love me or hate me kind of person. Or perhaps there's a grey area. Who knows.†
When it comes to playing a game with me online (where I do most of whatever MP I do play), I'm my real world self in purely vocalized form. So at least you save yourself from watching my face distort into awkward configurations vaguely resembling a human face whenever I talk or die. Which will happen many times.†
However, even then, you think you can handle anywhere from 5-30+ minutes of this voice scraping against your eardrums? It's said to be a great insect repellent.†
Watch that video and test your might. I'm 22, nearing 23, sporting the voice of a 14 year old with a bad cough.†
I will also occasionally yell and/or hype myself up to the point of even annoying my best of friends. Or so I'm sure.
You wanna know the worst part? I'm not very good at anything minus racing or rhythm games. You get me on your team in Gears of War? I'll bayonet charge into teammates, misjudge melees, toss smoke grenades at nothing, and always go for the weapons that I cannot use.†
You got me on your team in Team Fortress 2? I'll always stay Engie and build turrets in the most inappropriate of spots, totally convinced that it's a clever set-up that nobody will see coming. You got me on your Dota 2 team? I don't even know how to play that. You got me playing Minecraft with you? I won't craft a damn thing and you'll do all the work.
However, I will make you insanely jealous of my skills at Rock Band or Mario Kart. I'm very popular with that first place position.
You will either appreciate my naive, boyish charms or hate me with a passion so large it will manifest into a physical form, eclipse the Sun, and bring about never-ending nighttime and a fierce Winter, forcing everyone to sell their refrigerators and buy ice chains. †
Do you wanna be responsible for bringing about an early apocalypse? Then you might wanna be safe and avoid playing with me altogether.