It is unquestioned scientific fact that adding Godzilla to anything makes it exponentially better than what it was previously. The laws of the universe dictate it. So you can clearly understand why, in this age of high budget multi-million shipment video games, I am utterly perplexed that video game developers have ignored this blatantly obvious quality edition to video games.

So in the spirit of both making video games a better place for everyone and in the name of all fans of giant monsters crushing tiny little pathetic things I have decided to devote a blog explaining the top five games that would obviously be better with Godzilla in the equation. Now while I could take the easy route and say everything is better with Godzilla, and it's of course true, I'm going to try and be a little more specific and trim things down to a few games that would have extra benefit to the King of the Monsters gracing their good graces.

5 - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3


Hey, somethings got to break up the mundane repetition the Call of Duty series has adopted. I’m pretty sure your team would shit its pants if someone on the other team reached a 50 kill streak and suddenly spawned Godzilla on your ass. Now I know what you’d be saying, “But this would be worse than the tactical nuke in MW2!”. Fuck that! This is Godzilla we’re talking about, everybody wants to see that! Calling in Godzilla wouldn’t be an “instant end of game” thing, naw, it would be more like an AC-130 on nuclear powered steroids.

Oh, and there’s no way you can kill Godzilla and remove him from the map. You’re the military. Godzilla always beats the military.

4 - God of War


Kratos has made it a habit of fighting things that are tremendously larger than him, and even turned into one of those large things at the end of God of War (the scene where it happens totally needed a Rita Repulsa “make my monster grow!”, by the way). Given Kratos’s knack for picking on things way too fucking big for him, Godzilla is the next most logical thing for him to get angry at. How would Godzilla play into God of War? Simple, Kratos is off being pissed and suddenly Godzilla walks up to him. That’s it. What, were you expecting something deep and clever? God of War has never been fucking Shakespeare, we don’t need that clever storyline shit here! MONSTER BATTLE!

Godzilla could serve as the token “depower Kratos” device that has seemingly walked hand in hand with all of the major God of War games. Kratos fights Godzilla, gets the ever-living fuck beat out of him, and gets sent to Hades where he has to climb out and start over. You’d think this would lead to an obvious rematch where Kratos wins right? Hell no. Kratos just moves on and doesn’t dare fight Godzilla again. He damn well knows better.

3 - InFamous 2


Did you notice how inFamous 2 has two giant monsters (Bertrand & The Beast) and the two of them never cross paths to have an epic monster battle in the middle of Not-New Orleans? Yeah, I thought that was complete bullshit too. The Beast is the big baddie of inFamous 2, a giant sized super being that destroys anything in its path. How do you insert Big G into the mix? I’m pretty sure Godzilla would take exception to somebody else doing the thing Godzilla is known for doing best. This results in Godzilla crossing the Pacific to make his first North American appearance since Destroy All Monsters (since the 1998 Godzilla obviously doesn’t count) and give inFamous 2 its proper Beast Beatdown.

If you want you can even use Cole nuking The Beast as an excuse to lure Godzilla in since radiation is both Godzilla’s calling card and favorite mid-day meal. Now you might be thinking “Hey, wouldn’t this end with Godzilla then destroying Cole after he’s done with The Beast?”. Odds are against that, actually, as Godzilla has a habit of simply leaving cities after finishing off the resident monster who didn’t know better, meaning Cole lives to see another day.

2 - Shadow of the Colossus


This is a game that's all about climbing, usually, massively tall monstrous beasts and slaying them with your mighty sword. Why not have The Wanderer climb the biggest beast in an attempt to be the only badass motherfucker to take on Godzilla with only a sword and a horse? Shadow of the Colossus is pretty story light so we don't have to worry about shoehorning some ridiculous reason for why Godzilla suddenly shows up in the world this game takes place in, which leaves us with plenty of time to simply think and marvel about what a glorious battle and climb it would be.

Imagine if you just returned from slaying a colossus, lets just say the underground sand-snake colossus, and after waking up in the main temple you hear a distant rumbling sound similar to what you would hear in Jurassic Park. Then, just before you mount your horse and set outside, you hear it... that iconic but bone chilling sound... Godzilla's roar. As you feel the hair on the back of your neck rise, you quickly mount your horse and head out into the open landscape. Thats when you see it off in the distance, charcoal colored skin, massive plates down its back, and coming straight for you. You lift up your sword to see where you must go next, and the light points you towards the King of the Monsters.

You do the rest.

1 - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim


Yahtzee kindly referred to the main protagonist of Skyrim as “The Godzillaborn”. Personally, this is a mod that has to happen in some way shape or form. You think fighting dragons is epic? Wait until you leave Whiterun and see fucking Godzilla come from behind one of those mountains. Hah, yeah, and you thought dragon bones would be heavy.

Better yet, why do all of the dragons just have to be Godzilla in this mod? Why not make all of the various types of dragons be different monsters from the Godzilla universe? King Ghidorah is simply a space dragon with three heads. Rodan bears a fair resemblance to the Skyrim dragons anyway. Everybody would like to beat the shit out of Mothra. One of your dragon shouts could be Godzilla's radioactive heat-beam or something.

Someone make this mod, now! And rule all of the internet forever.