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A comprehensive guide detailing why Metal Gear Rising is truly the best game

by Sephzilla   //   1:42 PM on 02.26.2013



(Or, how Metal Gear Rising is blatantly better than DmC: Devil May Cry)

(Potential spoilers below)


1 - You start the game by slashing a Metal Gear RAY in half.


Haha, it roars at you thinking itís all big and bad. He doesn't know he's the prologue.

2 - Then you cut up Strider Hiryuís robot dog buddy


Because chainsaws are now illegal, and you are the chainsaw police.

3 - After that, you beat up the hottest Doctor Octopus cosplayer


And finish her off kind of like that one scene from Terminator 2.

4 - Then these magnetized sentient Hormel hams come to fight you


But you beat the shit out of him because he stole Raphaelís sais.

5 - But then this fucker runs with scissors


So you whip his monkey ass because his bad parents clearly didnít.

6 - Then this robot samurai guy fights you with his gun-sheath that shoots his sword


A GUN. THAT SHOOTS. A SWORD.

7 - Following that, you suplex the giant robot spider from Wild Wild West


And beat it to death with its own leg to remind it how much better it could be.

8 - Then you end the game by beating the shit out of Super Mike Haggar


And explains his superpowers with the greatest two word line in history, while sweet music plays.


METAL GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE

GAME OF THE FOREVER
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