(Or, how Metal Gear Rising is blatantly better than DmC: Devil May Cry)
(Potential spoilers below)
1 - You start the game by slashing a Metal Gear RAY in half.
Haha, it roars at you thinking it’s all big and bad. He doesn't know he's the prologue.
2 - Then you cut up Strider Hiryu’s robot dog buddy
Because chainsaws are now illegal, and you are the chainsaw police.
3 - After that, you beat up the hottest Doctor Octopus cosplayer
And finish her off kind of like that one scene from Terminator 2
4 - Then these magnetized sentient Hormel hams come to fight you
But you beat the shit out of him because he stole Raphael’s sais.
5 - But then this fucker runs with scissors
So you whip his monkey ass because his bad parents clearly didn’t.
6 - Then this robot samurai guy fights you with his gun-sheath that shoots his sword
A GUN. THAT SHOOTS. A SWORD.
7 - Following that, you suplex the giant robot spider from Wild Wild West
And beat it to death with its own leg to remind it how much better it could be.
8 - Then you end the game by beating the shit out of Super Mike Haggar
And explains his superpowers with the greatest two word line in history, while sweet music
METAL GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE
GAME OF THE FOREVER