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I'm some Asian guy with opinions on things that don't really matter. I'm into everything you could possibly imagine, games, toys, surfing, beer, etc etc. If there's anything interesting out there, I'm willing to try it.

I also like recording myself doing awesome things. Here's my Vimeo page, if you're interested.
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So here's the deal: a bunch of my Alcoholobros are coming into SoCal for E3 on June 7-9, and so they thought, what the fuck, why not come down to San Diego the week or so before and spend time with yours truly?

The amount of guests for the entire duration is pretty much decided, but we still don't have specifics on dates or whatever. DanlHaas, Ruckus, ClownBabby, and Diverse are confirmed, pretty much.

ADDITIONALLY, peeps like J-Ro have expressed interest in hanging out with us on that weekend before E3. So I'm thinking that Saturday we can have the first ever DtoidSD NARP or something. Just spitballing here, but mebbe LegoLand, followed by a good time getting absolutely SLOSHED at Stone Brewing, followed by more antics on the beach?

If anyone that's coming in that weekend for E3 or whatever is interested, let your voice be heard! That weekend would be June 3-5.

Late post, what with Labor Day and PAX and all that, but rest assured, I did play an awful lot of TF2 last week, and made some pretty hefty bank.

Monday, August 30

Points Accrued: 58
$$$ Raised: $5.80
$$$ Raised to Date: $25.20

Tuesday, August 31

Points Accrued: 181
$$$ Raised: $18.10
$$$ Raised to Date: $43.30

Wednesday, September 1

Points Accrued: 57
$$$ Raised: $5.70
$$$ Raised to Date: $49.00

I'd say that's a good haul for only two weeks' worth of playing. I estimated I'd only make around $40 by now, and I'm glad to see I was wrong.

Looks like this week will be quite a big haul as well, considering I played for a little bit tonight and absolutely dominated as a Heavy.

As usual, I'll likely be playing tomorrow night, around 6:30PM PDT. My Steam ID is Senor Douchebrah if anyone wants to join me.
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Here's a fascinating statistic for you: 90% of our childhood videogaming experiences are clouded by nostalgia and sentimental value, without any regard for specifics in plot and/or gameplay details.

Surprised? You should be; that statistic is entirely made up. However, that statement does hold some weight. If I think back to my videogaming experiences as a wee lad, I recognize that most, if not all, of them are bolstered by time, and not by actual solid gameplay that I can actively recall. I remember them and think, "hey yeah, those were AWESOME games", without even taking into consideration the fact that I had forgotten every single aspect of them except for titles, box art, and/or premises. A bevy of games bought on impulse and nostalgia via Virtual Console are ample enough evidence of that.

Even great games with a solid story and breakthrough mechanics can fall victim to the Nostalgia Troll. It takes a little nudging and reminding of certain games to jog my memory and help me remember, but on the fly, I probably couldn't describe ten NES, SNES, and Genesis games in detail without falling back on good old Wikipedia. This rings especially true with my Genesis collection: out of dozens of quality games I'd played and enjoyed on that console, I could probably only describe five or six in explicit detail without a cheat sheet, two of which are only due to the fact that I'd looked them up on Youtube weeks prior to this post. Why is that?

It's what I call the "SEEEEHH-GAAAAH" Effect.

Any gamer old enough to drink should hear "SEEEHH-GAAAH" and automatically be reminded of one thing, and one thing only:

This was literally the very first thing I heard after unpacking my Sega Genesis that fateful Christmas Day and powering it on to play Sonic the Hedgehog, and I'm sure most of you can relate as well. I happily played Sonic 1, along with 2, 3, and the Knuckles "expansion" (which all start off with the same intro soundbyte) , and successfully kicked Dr. Robotnik's ass in all of them. While I'd be unable to give anyone a step-by-step walkthough off the top of my head, there are still specific moments that stick in my head to this day. The wallclimbing and vibrant graphics of Sonic and Knuckles, the casino level in Sonic 2, and the drowning theme that made me shit myself and suffer a heart attack at age 10, I remember all of that.


Other first party Sega games didn't follow this example, and had their own little take on the Sega intro, which may be why it still takes a Youtube search to remember all the other great Genesis games I'd played. Vectorman might have been a much much cooler, better game than Sonic, but it didn't have "SEEEHHH-GAAAH", and in my brainspace, it might have suffered as a result.

The "SEEEHHH-GAAAH" Effect could also be known as The Konami Effect, or The Capcom Effect.

I can all but guarantee that anyone born in 1990 or earlier could hear both of those intros, and instantly remember the first 16-bit Konami and/or Capcom game, or ANY 16-bit Konami and Capcom game for that matter, they'd played in surprisingly specific detail and scope.

I hear the Konami theme, I'm reminded of Turtles in Time, and Capcom? Street Fighter 2 Turbo, of course. I could tell you endless memories about both, but frankly, what 90's gamer can't? Those were two seminal games of the 16-bit generation, and anyone could tell you their memories of both. But how about some more obscure games?

I played a helluva lot of SNES games in my time, so many that I couldn't tell you half of them. Two games I remember in meticulous detail though? Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster Busts Loose, and Aladdin. I could tell anyone right now exactly how both played out, the exact level progression of each, and the precise gameplay details of both without so much as a glance at Wikipedia. I didn't even own both of them; one was a rental from Blockbuster, the other borrowed from a cousin. And the kicker?

Not to be confused with the Jenna Jameson classic of the same name.

Tiny Toons is a Konami game, and Aladdin was developed by Capcom. The very first things heard from both were the Konami and Capcom intros, respectively, and for whatever reason, those sounds and resultant memories have never left me. In fact, while I hear the two intros and am reminded of the bigger, more classic games, the absolute first games that pop in my head are Tiny Toons and Aladdin, followed closely by lesser known titles like Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Sparkster, and The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse.

Now don't get me wrong, there are still games out there from the 8-, 16-, or 32-bit era that remain special and true to my heart without any fancy jingle or musical intro, but having that little appetizer at the beginning doesn't hurt the memorability of a game at all, especially regarding more obscure great games that have a greater chance of being lost in oblivion. There are so many quality games these days so easily forgotten and discarded in a matter of years, even months; perhaps some endearing start-up music is all games need these days. It might sound simple, but one thing's for sure: thanks to The "SEEEHHH-GAAAH" Effect, whenever I hear the Konami music, I can clearly see in my head Buster Bunny drop-kicking Montana Max in the face, and my life is better for it.

One week has passed since I made my awesome declaration of charity for Ronathon 2010, and in that week I've played a decent amount of TF2. Let's look at the results.

Tuesday, August 24

Overall, bleh day. I think the server crashed once because the admin there (i.e. my friend) was being dumb, hence why everyone good basically left halfway in and was replaced by straight up nubs.

Points Accrued: 106
$$$ Raised: $10.60
$$$ Raised to Date: $10.60

Wednesday, August 25

Playing the only decent Medic with people who know what they're doing = a sizable amount of points

Points Accrued: 88
$$$ Raised: $8.80
$$$ Raised to Date: $19.40

Not too bad of a showing for the first week. Definitely going to have to be more serious this week. I'll be playing staring tomorrow night at around 6:30PM PDT, if any of you want to join me.
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First, a little housekeeping:

-Winners of my previous contests, don't worry, your prizes are coming. I just moved out a couple weeks ago, and shit got thrown around and whatnot while moving. What with having a full time job sciencing, taking care of the family dog, having to pay an expensive-as-hell rent all of a sudden, and generally keeping up a badass appearance and all, I still haven't had time to full organize my room. But rest assured folks, all of your prizes will be trickling out hopefully by the end of this week, end of this month at the latest.

I am one high-maintenance bitch.

-All those people waiting for my other garbage in the mail, as detailed in my previous post, that shit's coming too, just not anytime soon. For one, only like two of you PM'd me your addresses, and secondly, once again, the whole "no time plus everything's a mess" excuse comes into play. You'll get my trash very soon, and if anyone else wants in, the giveaway isn't ever going to end, so comment on that post, send me your address, sit back, and be patient.

Now, the main reason why I've decided to come to the seedy area of Dtoid known as "the cblogs" once again: for those who haven't noticed, the Ronathon All-Star Podcast was posted last week, which, if you're awesome, you should probably download and donate. Details are in the link, but long story short, a rad brah by the name of lv99ron got seriously sick a few months ago and was hospitalized for a depressingly long time. Dude could probably kick Terry Crews' ass* without even breaking a sweat, so naturally, he recovered 100%. Problem is, hospital bills are stupidly expensive, and as you can imagine, dude ended up with mad debt. That's where Ronathon comes in. Created by a few kind souls at DtoidLA, Ronathon 2010 was to raise as much money as possible to help the gentleman out with his exorbitant bills, whilst involving the amazing Dtoid community with some fun shit like sketches, gaming marathons, camshows, the works. It was originally planned to happen on the 21st, but life happened, and things got in the way, so it's been moved back to Sunday, October 3rd.

I'm not so sure I'll be able to make the trek from San Diego to LA for the actual event, but I do know that I have the Internets, some amazing vidjagaems, and a couple bucks in my wallet. Really, that's all anyone needs to participate in Ronathon. There's one game in particular that I've played nearly every other day for a couple hours since the game's been released three years ago, and haven't gotten sick of yet. That game is Team Fortress 2. I'm not saying I'm a big deal at the game, even though I am pretty awesome, but it's the best multiplayer game I've ever played, and I have fun with it every time I play.

You can't spell TF2 without "homoeroticism"

So here's my proposition: from now until October 3, for every point I score in TF2, I will donate 10 cents to Ronathon. Ten pennies might not seem like a lot, but I play at least every Tuesday and Thursday, and average at least 200 points a week. 20 bucks a week for six weeks is $120, which still looks pretty paltry, but every little penny counts.

Even though I'm financially tight right now, I could do without buying a few upcoming games or buying only one growler of beer a week instead of two, just to scrounge up the money to help out an Internet stranger in need. I've never met the guy, but I'm sure he'd do just as much for me.

I'll post weekly updates of my scores, and tally everything up at the end. Depending on what happens with my availability on the day of Ronathon, I'll either stop by and donate one of those hilariously oversized checks (hmm, I wonder if they make them in the shape of a bulging bicep?), or I'll find the as-yet-undetermined Paypal address and donate accordingly.

Either way, I'm doing my part; I hope this post inspires some of you more awesome folks to do something similar, or match my donation, or just throw some cash at the strapping young man. Who knows, he might even strip for a couple singles.

*at Mortal Kombat
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So bros, this is it. All of the hard work you put into entering both of my contests pays off right here, when I announce the winners of both of the contests.

First up, the Batman contest. All of you brahs wrote some impressive yarns, which made it difficult to choose just two winners.

Runner-up goes to norm9, because it's apparent he understands how fucked up Batman is (“No worries man. I know you're an asshole because of your dead parents.”), and he knows the power of the almighty Klondike bar.

1st Place goes to Monodi, because he wrote the kind of Batman you'd find in the Venture Bros. universe.

Next, the Transformers contest.

3rd Place goes to Villainx1, because I wish my toilet had a wheel for my junk.

2nd Place goes to SteezyXL, because I'd love to have a talking Japanese toilet that says "Yum I can't wait for the poo!"

1st Place goes to Zombie Platypus, because he's so fucking meta. And hilarious.

So that's it! Prizewinners, contact me somehow to arrange some sort of prize delivery system. In the case of the Transformers contest, if the 1st Place winner would so kindly inform me which prize they'd like, I'll tell the 2nd Place winner what he's getting.

Hope you all enjoyed this, and sorry for those of you who entered and didn't get anything. If only I had other crap laying about to give away.


Alright, so I have a ton of old toys, CDs, electronics, and other random crap strewn around my room that I'm really too lazy to pack, so this is what I'm going to do: you guys are going to participate in a contest, and I'll give you whatever I think fits your contest answer. Best part?


So here's what you have to do: give me an 8 word autobiography in the comments below. That's no typo; an eight word essay about your life. Judging from how awesome/pathetically sad your entry is, you'll get a gift relative to that.

You might get crap (a CD-ROM for Microsoft Encarta '95), or you might get gold (one of my old pairs of underwear), but that's the fun in it, folks!

Get going! ...or take your time. There is no deadline. Contest ends when I have no more garbage to hock on you folks.