The Great Summer 2010 Moveout Giveaway! WINNERS + FINAL DAY

So bros, this is it. All of the hard work you put into entering both of my contests pays off right here, when I announce the winners of both of the contests.

First up, the Batman contest. All of you brahs wrote some impressive yarns, which made it difficult to choose just two winners.

Runner-up goes to norm9, because it's apparent he understands how fucked up Batman is (“No worries man. I know you're an asshole because of your dead parents.”), and he knows the power of the almighty Klondike bar.

1st Place goes to Monodi, because he wrote the kind of Batman you'd find in the Venture Bros. universe.

Next, the Transformers contest.

3rd Place goes to Villainx1, because I wish my toilet had a wheel for my junk.

2nd Place goes to SteezyXL, because I'd love to have a talking Japanese toilet that says "Yum I can't wait for the poo!"

1st Place goes to Zombie Platypus, because he's so fucking meta. And hilarious.


So that's it! Prizewinners, contact me somehow to arrange some sort of prize delivery system. In the case of the Transformers contest, if the 1st Place winner would so kindly inform me which prize they'd like, I'll tell the 2nd Place winner what he's getting.

Hope you all enjoyed this, and sorry for those of you who entered and didn't get anything. If only I had other crap laying about to give away.


....OH WAIT I DO.


Alright, so I have a ton of old toys, CDs, electronics, and other random crap strewn around my room that I'm really too lazy to pack, so this is what I'm going to do: you guys are going to participate in a contest, and I'll give you whatever I think fits your contest answer. Best part?

EVERYONE FUCKING GETS SOMETHING.

So here's what you have to do: give me an 8 word autobiography in the comments below. That's no typo; an eight word essay about your life. Judging from how awesome/pathetically sad your entry is, you'll get a gift relative to that.

You might get crap (a CD-ROM for Microsoft Encarta '95), or you might get gold (one of my old pairs of underwear), but that's the fun in it, folks!

Get going! ...or take your time. There is no deadline. Contest ends when I have no more garbage to hock on you folks.