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SenorDoucheoisie avatar 12:46 AM on 06.21.2010  (server time)
The E3 '10 Scott Pilgrim Party, Or: Why Everyone in the Dtoid Community is Rad.

So E3 was last week, and if you were like me, you spent your precious time waking up early and leaving work late, just to catch the live streams of pressers from various videogame companies. But of course, that's never the most important part of the event. Everyone knows you don't go to the event for the pressers and to journalism all up in that bitch (pfft, WORK); the real draw of E3 is all the cool parties that end up happening.

Naturally, Destructoid parties end up being the coolest of them all, so even if I was stuck at work, I was looking forward to making the long drive up from Whale's Vagina just to chill with Dtoid staff and community. Unfortunately, shit went down and Dtoid somehow ended up with no party plans.

...or did they? In a stroke of genius, Hamza and Co. decided to crash the Scott Pilgrim party on Thursday instead.

While that night is still a pretty fucking big haze in my mind, here are a bunch of pics and tidbits that stood out:

-Showed up half an hour early and waited in a huge long line, only to have some dude come up to me and ask, "hey, you from Dtoid?" and usher me up to where they were standing. I ask dude how he knows what I look like, and he replies, "I recognize you from Gobun's blog." INTERNET FAMOUS BY ASSOCIATION. Dude's name is Alex, and ends up being one of the baddest dudes I meet there.

-While waiting in line we see Hamza and Ben Perlee walking down the line, presumably trying to find fellow Dtoiders. Hamza's decked out in an all-black bouncer outfit, and if it weren't for his innocent good looks, I would've thought him intimidating. We call out to him, he sees us, we shake hands. I tell him my real name, he asks, "oh what's your REAL (i.e. Dtoid) name", and I tell him "SenorDouche", and before I can say "shwa-zee", he says, "OH SHIT SENOR YEAH MAN HOWS IT GOING?!" and gives me like an awkward half-brohug. Bewildered, I exclaim, "you actually know me?!" and he says, "PSSSH YEAH I DO!" and moves on. INTERNET FAMOUS.

-We finally get in and by that time I've already met a good amount of Dtoid folks. They have the last few minutes of Game 7 of Lakers/Celtics on in a big projector center stage, and half the crowd is into it, and the other half is making typical snide nerd jokes ("LOLZ I HOPES THEY SCORES THE TOUCHED DOWNS LOL GET IT DOOD?!"). The game ends with the Lakers' first back-to-back championship since 2002, and everyone half-seriously jokes about how bad the riots are in downtown. Goddamn do I love LA.

-Get my drink on, find the corner where the Dtoid folks are chillin, met Jim Sterling (ZOMG), and a bunch of other folks whose names are escaping me right now. Everything else by now is blurring together.

-Speaking of which, the Keg Buffet was surprisingly impressive. Thought it'd be full of Miller Lites, Bud Lights, and other "not really beer" beers, but they had Rogue Dead Guy Ale, Franziskaner Hefeweiss, and fucking ARROGANT BASTARD. Decent enough beer selection for me to get decently fuzzy.

-They had three stations in which to play Scott Pilgrim, and all of them were taken by the exact same hipster twats for the majority of the time. Two stations had couches, and most of the couch space was taken up by some hos who looked completely uninterested in anything at the party. I think my brother's expression sums it up quite well.

-Don't think I need to describe this picture. BAWSE.

-Meanwhile, Niero was trying to get the party going and putting the Mr. Dtoid helmet on various people, and then commanding them to dance. Almost felt Girls Gone Wild-esque, except AWESOME.

Oh, and Ben Perlee is a giant freak. I have numerous other scandalous photos of him, in case I feel like blackmail.

-This guy has the best article of clothing I've ever seen. I'm convinced that it's the only reason hoodies were invented.

-The night ended with the Dtoid folks getting together and taking a huge group picture, which you'll probably see sometime later. But before that, someone handed Nick Chester and Dale North each a bottle of Smirnoff Ice to chug, and they unwillingly did it, with Rey drinking mystery booze alongside them. I do not envy those gentlemen.

-On the drive back I had a hankering for Mexican food done right, so we stopped at some podunk 24-hr drive thru shack in Oceanside and ordered one of San Diego's most infamous food items, a plate of carne asada fries. That's french fries with carne asada, sour cream, cheese, salsa, and guacamole topping it, although there are variations.

They were good, but not the best I've had. Fries were too thick, and not enough guac. Damn, now I want some this very moment. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME MEXICAN FOOD

Overall it was an amazing party, and a testament to how unified and rad the Dtoid community is. I've been a part of many an Internets community in my time, still am a part of a few, and I can say without a doubt that the folks at Destructoid really are the best people I've come to know over the 'Webs. Everyone was extremely nice, extremely welcoming, and extremely normal, to the point where it almost felt like a cult. One of those good cults though, not one of those "we poisoned your applesauce and now you're going to heaven, bitch!" cults. Every time I go to a party I tend to have that little bugger in my head that says, "pfft, you don't belong here; you're a nerd who doesn't know any better!", and all of you guys definitely made that voice shut the fuck up.

I know there's a bunch of you I shook hands with and conversed with thoroughly, but I don't think I remembered most of your names in the chaos, so I deeply apologize for that. You know who you are though, and all of you are very sweet and awesome people. I'm glad to have met all of you, and will most certainly meet you folks again in the near future.

If ever any of you are down here in the Vagina this summer, I'll hook you guys up with a place to bunk, free surfing lessons, good food, and amazing beer, count on it.

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