Yesterday night was our dear Gobun
's birthday party. Dude must've had a deprived childhood, because before yesterday he apparently had never had a birthday party in his entire life.
I had a horrible childhood.
Naturally, we went all out, and dude got super WASTED. Other shit happened, like him getting lost in a sea of boobage, and me opening people's beers with other bottles of beer, but Gobun getting wasted was definitely the highlight. Like all Dtoid LA parties, shit was amazing, and lots of fun and homoerotic times were had.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO GET "ICED"!
You're welcome for the growler, Gahhboooon.
How adorable, Gobun gets a handjob for his very first birthday party.
Awww yeah, more homosex, this time with Technophile!
No homosex (BOO), but bewbies! (YAY)
HOWEVER, I'm going to concentrate on one very specific thing: this guy.
This is Alex Barbatsis
, c-blog celebrity, host of LAPD
, and all around white guy, as is explicitly evident in that video. Dude brought an off-brand Nerf shotgun to the party.
And then shot me point blank in my chest. On top of that, he went around and harassed one of my bestest c-blog friends, the lovely beverlynoelle
, shooting her whenever he got the chance.
OH NO YOU DI'NT
OH YES I DID
In doing so, he inadvertently (or advertently, I don't know) declared war. It was understandable that you'd come after me; after all, I am
a strapping young gentlemen overflowing with machismo, threatening your very role as alpha male.
Seriously, look at these svelte, tanned, muscular, babyskin-soft thighs.
But to repeatedly shoot a helpless woman in cold blood, even after multiple cries of protest? As a chivalrous individual and overall person who wants a reason to shoot you with foam darts, I cannot let that stand.
This may or may not be an additional reason to shoot you.
So this is a formal declaration that yes, I accept your open invitation to war. I cannot say for sure what will happen the next time we meet, or when we'll actually see each other (likely at your place on the 22nd for coonskin's party), but know this: I went to Toys R Us to pick up Dragon Quest IX today, and with it came a $15 gift card.
I beelined it to the Nerf section, and came to realize that all Nerf guns are BOGO 50% off.
The lines have been drawn, sir. PREPARE TO BE SHOT AT.
As for everyone else, whose side will you choose? There will be no Switzerland in this epic showdown; whoever wants to be Switzerland will be eliminated first.
Yeah, I'm coming for you, Mr. "I'm probably gonna play Dance Central while I'm sitting on the couch".