This PS3 exclusive takes place in a post apocalyptic world ruined by dinosaurs and books. Along your journey you are trying to kill as many zombies as you can, horde as much gold as you can like a jew, and figure out just why you have been turned into a furry that can magically fly if you run fast enough.
The PS3's sixaxis features take control when you are flying. This would be neat, but it also requires a wiimote (setting up a wiimote to a ps3 is hard and doesn't work one bit, I don't know what the developers were thinking.) But, if you get both work you can use the ps3 controller to go up or straight while you swing the wiimote around as fast as you can while button mashing A in order to keep up in the air.
After figuring out how to do this properly you must track down and destroy your mortal enemy: Kil'Jaeden
But, on the way to Kil'Jaeden you must defeat the seven deadly sins that rule under him in order to cleanse yourself of being a furry and attain the ultimate power within.
1: Green Pedo
This man does nothing but hang around with 4 other green guys he calls his minions in alleyways and hobo infested train yards while trying to seduce super powered little girls. In this battle he makes you go through the trial of the mind. This trial helps you purge your mind of any furry tendencies or furry thoughts.
2: The successful business man
This man knows a hard day's work. He sits up in his office and ponders ways to torture those who work under him. Throughout this battle you go through the trial of the pure body. This will not get rid of the furry appearance, but it is the main catalyst after all 7 chaos emeralds from the trials you endure are put together.
3: Christopher Walken
This man once hid your father's watch up his ass for 2 years while he was in a Viet Nam POW camp.
This is the trial of realizing your father was in Viet Nam. This means you will grow up to be a boxer who gets into some trouble with mobsters.
4: Anthony Burch
eh liekz vidya gaems. This fight teaches you that indie games are superior. This means..you now realize indie games are superior?
5: Pokemon Trainer: Red
This is a teen who really knows how to get shit done and bend any small animal to his will. He was kicked out at the age of 10 and since then many horrific things have come and gone on his treacherous adventure. This is the trial of realizing your mother is a horrible parent and should be arrested for kicking out an underage child. You learn how to tame small animals after this.
6: Bill Kaulitz
Bill Kaulitz from the German Band "Tokio Hotel." He is a very pretty man and you realize that this trap cannot go unpunished for his crimes against nature. This is the trial of TARP!PASpf!?! This trial helps you overcome your homosexuality.
7: This Corgi
This is the ultimate evil in cute form. You learn nothing from this but you still get a chaos emerald. (This battle took me 43 tries).
After all this you must back track all the way to the beginning, your house in Kokiri Village. Once there you must combine all the chaos emeralds in your horadric cube in order to free your soul revealing your true form:
Immediately afterwords the furry that was inside ambushes you. This battle is epic with many cinematic attacks that last for minutes at a time allowing you to take bathroom breaks and get food or what have you. Throughout the battle you'll need to unplug your PS3 controller from slot 1 and plug it into slot 2 because he takes over your mind and renders slot 1 forever fried.
After this battle you are instantly teleported to Valhalla where you must defeat Kil'jaeden in four minutes or he will destroy Midgard in an instant. Throughout the battle Kil'jaeden has a mash-up of every single boss's move set. Only having three unique abilities of his own. His first ability is that he makes it rain fire or some generic thing. The second is a BS move that stuns you for three minutes and thirty seconds. The final is that he summons a horde of lesser corgis that eventually destroy your armor
Note: if Midgard is destroyed you don't get a game over, you just get a secret ending.
After the battle you get to witness a new level of epic when it comes to this most glorious cutscene ever. It was like the gods' voices boomed from the heavens making the earth below tremor in fear while all evil was expunged from the crust of our land. Be warned, this cutscene is longer than Pulp Fiction.
All was well.