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Sebastian Von Fappywank avatar 8:48 PM on 03.07.2014
Secret of the Magic Crystals Review

As soon as I opened up this masterpiece I knew I was in for a treat, amazing visuals, and elegant score, and replay ability that would make RockStar have a run for their money.
Firstly, you start off with picking your pony, and ultimately rubbing it in the correct spot to make it big; when you rub it with say, a brush it grows into a glorious stallion and you’re on your way to an amazing adventure with you eternal friend.
Furthermore, the glorious score that will make Hans Zimmer, John Williams, James Horner, and hell maybe even Alan Silvestri rethink what they’re doing, fundamentally resulting in the amazing score being stuck in your head; don’t you just love it when the same tone gets stuck in your head?

Finally, remember that old saying? “Can it run Crysis?” (Or Quake depending on how old you are) well, this game out right kicks Crysis in the balls, or the v a g i n a judging by this game. The muddy textures and choppy frame-rate primarily results in a very immersive experience.

Ultimately, I gained not only a headache, but a vagina from this wonderful experience and I can safely say it was worth it.

Should you buy this game? Yes, if you desire a seizure, but don't let that drive you away from this marvel, as it's truly a masterpiece.

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