Comments of the Week: Ode to a Folding Chair Edition

Have you seen my folding chair?

It shines with dandelion hair.

And when I go to sit, I glare,

At its delightful derrière.

And though it may seem strange, I swear;

I want to love it hard right there.

I'm captivated, in a snare.

I'm gorging on its constant stare.

In that silken summer air.

I want to hug it like a bear.

I escalate, I'm on the stair.

And as I say one final prayer,

With ancient, primal, sensual flair.

I explode like a distress flare.

And, sated by my brief affair.

I name my new love: "Mary-Claire".

Now, on to the comments!




From PAX: HOT Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes footage




I've been taking a look at the early story that's been coming out of Kojima HQ and Stealth's in luck. The story mainly involves Big Boss opening a chain of chicken restaurants in the midwest, so it should really fit well with the context of the series.




From World Tekken Federation will be absolutely free with TTT2




Are you sure there's no wanky alternate fighters, costumes, stages or some kind of boob modification mod I can buy as DLC?! Oh well, I'll just have to spank my Microsoft Points on XBox Avatar Accessories then. Gaming Twenty fucking Twelve mother-bitches!






From Weird Metacritic user reviews tear Darksiders II to bits




"What the fuck is up with this piece of shit? It's got no graphics at all, how the hell am I meant to play this?...Oh, hang on..."

*turns on TV*



From Beta.Destructoid.com is a thing. Go try it out.




I assure you, no matter how much opportunity there will be to edit a comment, there will still be dumbass comments.




From Final Fantasy 25th Anniversary Ultimate Box announced




Is this the kind of thing you're looking for?







From Promoted blog: Why Minecraft laughs in DayZ's stupid face




Come on Shit Hawks, let's get it together! Also, I think our gang needs a new name; all the other gangs are laughing at us.







From Book of Memories gets new screens, fans go apeshit




Hey there, Mr Super 3D Bullshit-O-Scope Man, play a song for me:



Please do not exceed the stated dose of Super 3D Bullshit-O-Scope as this may cause side effects including dizziness, vomiting, the folded sweats, and genocide.




From Skyrim's Dawnguard DLC may never come to PS3




My Super 3D Bullshit-O-Scope brings all the boys to the yard and they're like ding it's better than yours.



Damn right ding it's better than yours, I can teach you but I have to charge.




From The joy of fan games, pt. 2: Fan game heroes!




Super 3D Bullshit-O-Scope, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when it comes for you?



There are times where even the Super 3D Bullshit-O-Scope, a cold, hard, bullshit interpretation machine, can't help but think it's being used on altogether too much bullshit.




Tune in next week, different time, same channel.