Welcome folks to another fun-packed intense season of worldwide commentary comment-off! We have already had some crowd-wincing action as the competitors have been struggling into their leotards for over an hour. It seems there is no end to the odd formations the human body can conjure when forced against tight, supportive lycra!
It looks like our first contender is lining up, javelin clutched tight in hand. Why the judges are allowing this equipment in a comment-off is simply baffling us up in the studio but let's see where we go with this as the gun goes off to start the mayhem!
Let me dust down the ol' Super-3D-Bullshit-O-Scope and really get to the crux of this barbed, tortured soul:
The Super-3D-Bullshit-O-Scope never lies. It may extort, but it never lies.
And as we draw a close to the proceedings, several competitors have gone to the judges to appeal that they were seriously compromised by that javelin blow to the shoulder, but the judges are hearing none of it. As we can see from our rulebook in the studio, there is no stipulation against competitors being injured by stray javelins. Commentary is a young and exciting sport and we will just have to see how other competitors react with this innovative use of athletics equipment in next week's Comments of the Week.