hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


Script's blog

1:49 AM on 08.23.2015

Diplomacy has failed. TEAM! Unite up!


4:10 PM on 08.19.2015

After mopping the floor with an online opponent in Smash 4, he changed his tag to "URBAD". Next match, I win again and change my tag to "GG". Surprisingly, he changes his tag to "GG", too. Who knew the cure to saltiness was good sportsmanship?


9:00 AM on 08.16.2015

Someone removed my comment in the Squid Sisters thread. It's kind of a party popper comment, but there's absolutely no reason to remove it. You can't prohibit someone from expressing themselves, even if their opinion is negative or different.


8:42 PM on 08.09.2015

...and that's how Niero was born.


8:40 PM on 08.09.2015

Dreamweaver's porn vault was closed, the mountain had been ransacked, and Abigail the Goose was nowhere to be found. The sun was starting to set when I heard a distinct voice echoing from afar. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!"


8:33 PM on 08.09.2015

launched into the mountain of gold shit. "You cannot defeat me, pony human". My hand felt numb, like when you repeat the same motion for too long. That's when I realized. I had to give Ulysses one final ride. I strapped on the Oculus Rift™


7:59 PM on 08.09.2015

then I finally managed to find Ulysses, hair gray, skin red, and one baaaad diarrhea. He looked at me fearfully and tried to hide the pentagram, but I knew exactly what he was up to. I didn't have a mouth anymore, but that didn't stop me from going


7:43 PM on 08.09.2015

When I was a wee lad I had a pony named Ulysses. Ulysses was a great pony - he had very beautiful pony hair, above-average pony intelligence and a very pony-like attitude. He also happened to shit gold. One day I was walking with Ulysses and I said, "My p


5:48 PM on 11.26.2014

Personal Blog Archive

The purpose of this blog is to archive all the blogs I have written and published.


Prepare for some shocking news, I'm calling dibs on Pikachu!

Making games within games

Let Grandpa Script tell you about game manuals

Total: 3



Some of my favorite Mario kart tracks

Total: 1



[Spooky Halloween Quest] American McGee's Alice

Total: 1



 Script's Spooky Halloween Quest

Total: 1



01# Cblogs of 10/13/14 and 10/14/14 + Scriptisms - Hello, World!

02# Cblogs of 10/21/2014 + Scriptisms - Just look at my zodiac sign, interviewer!

03# Cblogs of 10/28/2014 + Spooky Scriptisms

04# Cblogs of 11/04/2014 + Fire Embleisms - Save all the Waifus

05# Cblogs of 11/11/2014 + Scriptisms - Games! Also Rap and K.K. Slider mashups

06# Cblogs of 11/18/2014 + Everybody hates Tuesdays

07# Cblogs of 11/25/2014 + Diary of a dying (GameCube would-be) fan

08# Cblogs of 12/02/2014 + Non-Specific Scriptisms

09# Cblogs of 12/09/14 + Run-of-the-mill Scriptisms

10# Cblogs of 12/16/2014 + Harry Potter and The Hobbit spoilers

11# Cblogs of 12/23/2014 + Merry Christmas!

12# Cblogs of 12/30/2014 + Final Scriptisms of the year - Goodbye, 2014!

13# Cblogs of 01/06 and 01/13/2015 + Nintendo Directisms

14# Cblogs of 01/20/15 + Taking a look back at the past

15# Cblogs of 02/03/15 + Sixty-Fourisms

16# Cblogs of 02/10/2015 + Mischief!

17# Cblogs of 02/17/2015 + Tanned Scriptisms

18# Cblogs of 02/24/15 + Thronisms

19# Cblogs of 03/03/15 + On-Time Scriptisms

19.5# Cblogs of 03/06/2015 + Everyone but you is at PAX Edition (cover for Dustin)

20# Cblogs of 03/10/15 and 03/17/15 + Mass Effectisms

21# Cblogs of 03/24/15 + Random Gaming Thoughts of the Week

22# Cblogs of 03/31/2015 + Thoughts on some music and SMT vs FE

23# Cblogs of 07/04/15 + Guilty Pleasures (and things people dislike but I don't)

24# Cblogs of 04/14/15 + Show Me(wTwo) your moves!

25# Cblogs of 04/21/15 + Change of habits

26# Cblogs of 04/28/15 + You're not going to read this anyway

27# Cblogs of 05/05/15 + Scriptisms

28# Cblogs of 05/12/15 + It's Kill La Kill time!

29# Cblogs of 05/19, 05/26 and 06/02 of 2015 + The Mind Wanders

30# Cblogs of 09, 16, 23 and 30 of June 2015

31# Cblogs of 07/07/15 + Is this good bye


Total: 33



Together we Smash

Personal Blog Archive

Total: 2


Grand Total: 41


Unashamedly Huge Self-Indulgent List of Personal Favorites Blogs!

While I may have made some misteps along the way, this is still my philosoph regarding recaps and why I'm here.

Why Pikachu is awesome

A Grandpa who fought in the "Great Lemon War", says a lot of inconsistent nonsense, breaks the fourth wall and has a creepy interest in furries. The fuck was I thinking.

Diary of a dying (GameCube would-be) fan

My thoughts on the last Harry Potter book and The Hobbit movie.

Reminiscing about 2014

I like this one because it's a good mix of some personal stuff, some thoughts and odd humor. That's my style, boy.

Non-Specific Scriptisms - a bit about jobs, crappy games and the need to master a game.

Here I argue perma-death makes Fire Emblem more interesting. Also, waifus!

That was a mean prank. But the comments made my day.

The first recap I wrote after my introduction. I talk about use of psychology tests in job interviews.

Thoughts on various games and Rap + K.K. Slider mashups

I like this "run-of-the-mill Scriptisms" because it reminds me to get the reading habit back.

My predictions were correct! We did get an Animal Crossing Wii U game, but it's not exactly what I was expecting.

Curious look at the gaming scene back in 1991.

When I bought a Nintendo 64 again.

In which I discover girls exist. Also, Mischief Makers!

Few care about Game of Thrones in this community, but I like what I wrote about Tyrion and Arya.

My thoughts on the first Mass Effect game.

I love toti. u liek toti?

(I told you it was huge and self-indulgent... Don't judge me too harshly, I like re-reading some of the things I wrote. I also greatly enjoy reading your comments, you loveable scamps!)




2:38 PM on 09.30.2014

Prepare for some shocking news, I'm calling dibs on Pikachu!

Pikachu is the man. He's the Pokeman. He's the BEST Pokeman.


You scoff.

"That's a laugh. Pikachu, the best Pokeman?  He's not even the best Smash Bros. character. All the best characters have been dibbed, and you have been left with that poor excuse for a fighter."

You pause, slowly letting a smug grin form in your face.

"Well, MY character is the very best, like no one ever was. He got the moves like jagger, and he's a SSS in this totally incontestable tier list that was made one week after the game was out in Japan. His nair, dair, fair, cair, tair and xair are all great. He's got this sick alternate skin. He's totally unique in unique ways that no other character is. He's got infinite combos and chain grabs, and unlike that yellow rat, his smash attacks are all super str-- AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Fried like a fish, you drop dead on the ground. The smell of your burned carcass filling the air.

Behind you stands a shadowy figure. The sillhouette of two horns sticking out of its head.






"Pika Pi!"





Reason Number One!

 He's cute but deadly

Poor you. You are dead! What was your mistake? You let the cute and frail appearance of Pikachu deceive you. Tsk tsk, bad mistake.

Behind the aura of innocence emanating from Pikachu, hides the soul of a detached killer capable of the most foul deeds. Like a wild animal that mercilessly slaughters its prey, Pikachu has no hesitation, no remorse, no empathy. He's an ice cold badass, and he's fully aware of it.


Reason Number Chu!

 He's sooo cute!

 I mean, just look at him. Awww. Don't you just want to take him home, and pet him, and feed him, and sleep holding him tightly, and pull his tail and pinch those sweet cheeks!

Do you ever wonder why Pikachu is the most popular Pokeman ever, being used front and center in all the Pokeman related products? No you don't. You know it instinctively that there's no match for Pikachu's cuteness and allure. That's the way of the universe. It is written in the Bible, "shall you never envy Pikachu's cuteness, cause there ain't no cute as cute as Pikacute's". True story.


Reason Number Three!

"Pika" sounds like "Pica", which is a slang for "dick" in Portuguese

And he says "Pika" all the time. It's kinda funny.


Reason Number Four!

He's got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one

Like you might have guessed by now, Pikachu is a hit with the ladies. That fluffy yellow skin? Those pointy ears? That dazzling tail? His overall badassery? It makes the girls WET.

Hot damn Pikachu

He doesn't even need to do anything. He enters a room, says his own name, and bam! Suddenly he's surrounded by the ladies. And he doesn't discriminate. He knows everyone wants to get a taste of ol' Pikachu, and he's happy to oblige. He walks around naked for god's sake!

In fact, even Dtoid community member Pixielated couldn't resist Pikachu's tremendous charm and choose him to be her partner in crime. The crime of stealing him from ME!


Reason Number Five!

"Chu" looks like "Cu", which is a slang for "butthole" in Portuguese

Is this the most amazing of coincidences or what? Come on, throw me a bone here. CRASS HUMOR, YOU GUYS!


Reason Number Six!

His attacks are super effective!

Seriously though, Pikachu is actually a pretty good character in all of the Smash Bros. games. He is considered the best character in the original Super Smash Bros., and overall middle tier in Melee and Brawl. And in the new Super Smash Bros, he seems to be fast and his attacks can still pack a punch.


So come day 3, you better be prepared for some ass-kicking, yellow rat style!


Oh. Oh no... N-no Pikachu, I-I didn't mean..!




3:59 PM on 09.18.2014

Together we Smash


And I'm excited. As I'm sure all you smashing brothers and sisters out there are too. :)

So let's trade friend codes! I know the release is still two weeks from now, but I think it would be convenient for we all to have added each other by the time the game is released. It would also make things easier if in the future there is a Destructoid tournament. Someone should organize that!

My 3DS friend code is 2148-9562-9349. Leave yours on the comment section and add all your Dtoid pals that leave theirs here too.

Oh, and don't forget to brush your teeth three times a day. Ciao!


11:38 AM on 05.30.2014

Some of my favorite Mario Kart tracks



GoofierBrute wrote a nice blog detailing his favorite and not-so-favorite Mario Kart tracks. I'm as excited for Mario Kart 8 as any other fan, so to quench my thirst until it gets to my home I'm making this quick list of some of the most fun tracks in the franchise. I'm not considering Double Dash and Super Circuit here because I played little of them, sorry!


Music Park - Mario Kart 7

Not being a particularly complex or challenging course, Music Park stands out for it's little touches. When you drift across the giant piano keys of the track, you can actually hear the notes one after the other like you were sliding your fingers across the piano. And later you get to a section where a couple of Bouncing Notes, are, well, bouncing around. If you jump right after one of the Bouncing Notes hits the track, you get a mini-boost! Really, this is just an attractive, fun, rhythmic track.  

Waluigi Pinball - Mario Kart DS

You would think a pinball-themed course would be a great idea for a Mario Kart game, and indeed it is! Colorful, loud and with a twisting design, this is one of those types of fun tracks that is sure to be one of the most picked when playing with friends. Waluigi is really proud of it, you know. But he's also mad that he wasn't included in Mario Kart 7, in which this track was also present. For shame, Nintendo!

Coconut Mall - Mario Kart Wii

Whenever I play Mario Kart Wii at someone's house (everybody and their mother has it!), this is always one of those tracks that get picked. And with good reason. It's filled with shortcuts and different paths, it's challenging and it really feels like a trip through the mall - you go all the way through it, going up the escalators until you jump off into the parking area. The music is also nice, and I love how frantic it gets on the third lap.

Royal Raceway - Mario Kart 64

Another relatively simple track, this one I love for really doing justice to the concept of a racing game in the Mario universe. You feel like you're racing through the Mushroom Kingdom, as you race in this track in the middle of a big green field with trees and lakes, even going past Peach's Castle! The well-designed course combined with all the sponsor billboards, audience, etc gives an authentic feel to this track. Who never went off-road during a race just to investigate Peach's Castle?

Not to mention it is one of those courses that put more emphasis on the racing - there's not a lot of traps or places to fall. What there is is a big ramp that makes for a very satisfying jump. POOMP!

Rainbow Road - Super Mario Kart

One of the most frustrating and yet one of the most rewarding tracks of the entire franchise. This course has fiendish 90 degrees curves and no rails whatsoever, not to mention several unfriendly thwomps. It's pretty much the opposite of the chill, long Rainbow Road of Mario Kart 64.

Despite being very difficult, the frantic pace of this track is an absolute thrill when you get good at it. It's the ultimate test of your drifting ability. The 3DS version is even better, with ramps, more shortcuts and plenty of opportunities to get mini-boosts!


So there you have it folks, some of my favorite tracks from the Mario Kart franchise. I hope you have enjoyed reading it, be free to leave your opinion!

Oh, and add me so we can do some karting this weekend! My ID is SupahBroda. :D   read

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -