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[NSFW-ish] Tomb Raider Legend belated review
ScottyG | 10:50 AM on 11.17.2008 24 comments




Believe it or not, until last week I had never played a Tomb Raider game before. Shocking when you consider I LOVE platformers and am a male who likes purty ladies. Not to say that I never tried, but until a few weeks ago my only experience with Tomb Raider games is the demo of the original way back in late 1996 which never let me play for more than a few minutes before crashing. This is about as far as I ever got. :p



Not too long ago though I saw Tomb Raider Legend on sale at a pawn shop for cheap, and figured why not. From the various gameplay videos I've watched over the years It looked to have similar platforming aspects as the Prince of Persia games which I absolutely adore. Plus it stars a hot busty British woman with guns. I mean, if there is anything that's sure to lure a guy in it's tits, guns and video games right? Well, as you may recall my good pal Black Yoshi stopped by a few weekends ago, and we decided to check the game out. Being late to the series I wasn't sure how I was supposed to play the game, so I went with how I figured most guys prefer to play with Lara Croft



Didn't seem to enhance the experience... Although maybe I was just doing it wrong, because after getting dressed and playing through the game I'm left with mixed feelings.

The brief rundown of the story is that you're Lara Croft, rich explorer extraodinare. The game centres around your mother, who died when you were a child, Amanda, who died in the recent past on an archeological dig, and an ancient sword with mystical properties. I was unaware of any of the Tomb Raider story and was quite surprised about how deep it was. While a good bit of the story was pretty predictable there are some good plot twists that I didn't expect, and while it's certainly not award winning it was enjoyable enough and certainly seemed like it could tie into a series.

Funnily enough though, it was Lara who actually seemed more like the villain in this game to me. Not sure if that's how she comes off in other games, but to me she was just a spoiled know-it-all who was always used to getting her way and never failing at anything. This particular adventure wasn't for any reason other than personal gain, and the final villain while kind of a jerk didn't seem nearly as self-absorbed as Lara and actually got more sympathy from me. The ending in particular really set me back, where Lara's actions reminded me more of an anti-hero who lets emotions rule their actions, constantly antagonizing people and using them for her own gain until they have no other choice but to attack her.

A brief mention on the graphics and sound is that they are good enough. The levels have very good art direction and are well designed, but don't expect cutting edge graphics or effects. The sound is similar, providing good background noise with reasonably good voice acting.

The good and the bad continue when we take a look at the meat of the game: the gameplay. As already stated, it's a puzzle platformer. The game primarily consists of a series of puzzles that you have to solve, one after the other, to progress. The game is completely linear, although there are some side paths that leads to rewards (the "collect 'em all" item that seems to be required in games these days...). The puzzles themselves are mostly quite enjoyable and satisfying to complete, including some of the reward puzzles which sometimes span a significant portion of the level. The game feels very much like the Prince of Persia games, which I'm not surprised at as I've been lead to believe that the two series have inspired each other before. There is no time manipulation here though, which unfortunately means you'll suffer many frustrating deaths at the hands of a slightly off jump or bad camera angle.

In between all of this puzzle solving are combat and driving sequences, which are done well enough. The auto lock sometimes just refuses to lock onto the enemy right next to you however, preferring the enemy that conveniently happens to be out of range. Thankfully this is little more than an annoyance as even on hard the only thing you need to worry about in combat are the instant-death things, such as grenades or driving head-on into a tree. The game thankfully knows its priorities and really only includes these to give the game more variety, and with all of Lara's jumping and rolling abilities combat can actually be fun. Unfortunately the dreaded quick time events make a far to frequent appearance in the game, which is only slightly helped by the rather funny ways that Lara will die if you mess up.



Once you're finished the rather short game (my first run-through on hard took about 9 hours), there isn't much else to do. There are time trials you can go through, however given how linear the game is it really is just a test on getting through the level without screwing up. For completionists the collectible rewards offer extra unlockables such as new outfits, concept art, character bios, and cheats. From the main menu you can also explore Lara's Mansion, which offers some more rather challenging puzzles but ultimately won't add more than an hour or two. I barely put in more than 10 hours to unlock everything and don't expect to ever play it again.

So in summary (because that's all people ever look at if there is no score) it's a solid platformer that sadly is lacking on content and replayability, and make the tragic mistake of including quick time events. However it was worth it for the price I paid and something I'd recommend if you find it used and like platformers. Or if you have an unhealthy fixation on pixelated women. Personally though I prefer the real life variety:



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24 comments | showing # 1 to 24

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The Bez's Destructoid Blog
MY EYES AUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CANT UNSEE IT ARAGRHGSHRVNNBVOUEBKLN
Redzie's Destructoid Blog
Okay first my penis retracted inside of me then that crotch shot croft made it all better.
Jordan Devore's Destructoid Blog
I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
CANNOT UNSEE!
Mr Wilson's Destructoid Blog
Oh god i hate you
Vlambo's Destructoid Blog
This what Dtoid Atlantic Canada provides: The Canadian bear Squad
Black Yoshi's Destructoid Blog
WHAT THESE EYES HAVE SEEN CAN NOT BE UNSEEN!
Solgrim's Destructoid Blog
Wow. That picture of Allison Carroll fixed everything. Are you magic?
Half left's Destructoid Blog
You owe me a new set of cones and rods. Good day sir.

A+ for commitment though.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Destructoid Blog
DUUUUDDE!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA
atheistium's Destructoid Blog
TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER TOMB RAIDER
ArrestedDeveloper's Destructoid Blog
The worst part is how contemplative you look.
falinter's Destructoid Blog
I came here for NSFW-ish and left blind.
Alexradl's Destructoid Blog
My eyes are hurt!
Mushman's Destructoid Blog
Good god, you got stones for doing that pic nekked, but, seriously, I have become blind, so fuck you.








;)
AgentMOO's Destructoid Blog
NOT SAFE FOR HUMANITY
Dexter345's Destructoid Blog
Oh god, when I saw "NSFW," I was hoping for something good.
Endstiem's Destructoid Blog
Nice review..... you should REALLY play Anniversary, because it takes the Legend controls/engine and puts it in a longer, harder, better game.

Oh.... also, cocks.
TheDreadHawk's Destructoid Blog
@ Endstiem

"longer, harder, better..."

I fucking rofl'd.
ScottyG's Destructoid Blog
Heh, good to know I spread some early holiday cheer. <3

@ArrestedDeveloper:
Well, I was a little confused at my lack of orgasmic enjoyment of the game.
Gregory Hall's Destructoid Blog
This is what Destructoid legends are made of. Be sure to try the older games too.
welkstar's Destructoid Blog
The goggles! They do nothing!
Samit Sarkar's Destructoid Blog
ScottyG brought the SexyBack.
Hollie Bennett's Destructoid Blog
simply beautiful my man, simply beautiful...


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 about me



SteamID & XBL Gamertag: ScottyGrayskull





---

At the moment pretty much all of my few local friends who actually play games are dinks who now spend all of their time playing WoW. So, feel free to look me up and send an invite to play games. ^_^

---

Hello! <3

Bit about me. I've been a gamer for the most of my life. When I was seven and waiting for my parents to pick me up from piano lessons, the teacher's two sons showed me Super Mario Bros 2. Needless to say I never learned to play the piano very well...

I've flip-flopped several times between consoles and PCs. I generally love non-generic FPS games, puzzlers (Tetris is probably my favourite game of all time) and platformers of all shapes and sizes. I tolerate RPGs, but usually don't bother because I just don't have the time to invest in them.

I'm one of those freaks that regard FF7 and Ocarina of Time as merely average. That might be partly because I'm biased against the first round of 3D games that generally looked and played like crap compared to the 2d games at the time (during that generation I was a PC gamer, where they actually could do decent 3D at the time). By no means are they bad games, but plenty of games have done just as well and actually looked good in the process.

Yeah yeah, graphics aren't everything. But as important as gameplay is, looks still matter. It doesn't have to be the best looking thing around, but it at least has to be passable.

I tried to be a collector for awhile, but realized there was no market where I lived and gave that up. Currently I have an NES, SNES, GameBoy/GameBoy Colour/GameBoy Advance SP, DS, a 360, and of course my lovely gaming PC. ^_^

Also, Black Yoshi Brigade:

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