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Scientist tz's blog

1:42 PM on 05.27.2009

Worlds Other Than These: Transylvania is a Place on Earth

Nobody really remembers who sang those immortal words (ooh) heaven is a place on Earth. If heaven is a place on Earth than surely hell is a place on Earth. Every man has a tale of his own personal hell on Earth be it in a...   read

11:19 AM on 04.22.2009

I Want to Open a Video Game Themed Burger Pub

So here in Chicago we have this bar called "Kuma's Korner." Basically it's a heavy metal bar that serves gourmet hamburgers. They serve a Black Sabbath burger with blackening spice and chili on it. They serve a 1/4 pound hot...   read

12:30 PM on 04.09.2009

For Those About to Die: The Woefully Outclassed

Daytime. The Capital Wasteland. 2277. A man and a dog walk toward a derelict hotel near old D.C. The man looks nothing like other men. He is clad completely in steel; none of his human skin is visible but his steel skin crack...   read

3:28 PM on 12.22.2008

Time to fix my joke of an XBL Friends List

My friends list on Xbox Live is seriously pathetic. I log on to usually find my friends either offline or engaged in the playing of some putrid piece of shit game that they rented or dug out of a bargain bin. It's seriously t...   read

9:02 AM on 11.21.2008

Question for Microsoft about the new Dashboard

Was it supposed to be good? Just curious.   read

2:14 PM on 10.31.2008

Board Gamers' Cred on Halloween

Yes, that's the electrical service panel for the building where I work. It went hot in 1948 and it's been chugging ever since.   read

4:53 PM on 09.26.2008

Braid: The "Oh Shit" Moment.

Normally the "Oh Shit" moments in gaming happen while the game is being played. In the case of Braid it happened well after I finished it. I have a considerable amount of regret associated with this excellent title. I h...   read

1:13 PM on 08.04.2008

Games That Made My Little Sister Cry: Epyx Summer Games

As we're just about on the eve of completely ignoring the start of the 2008 Summer games in Peking*, China I thought now would be a good time to talk about one of my favorite games from the 80's If you had a game console...   read

1:47 PM on 07.21.2008

A Cast of Thousands: Leisure Suit Larry

Clad in the polyester raiment of an extinct era, Leisure Suit Larry commenced his adventure with little more than a canister of breath spray and a mission: to get laid by midnight. While the other video game titans of the era...   read

1:21 PM on 07.14.2008

A Cast of Thousands: Birdo

The Tissot watch on the Psychiatrist's wrist indicated that 45 minutes had passed. "We're running out of time for today. Aren't you going to tell me about the bird-creature?" Mario removed his hat and twisted it in his ha...   read

9:35 AM on 07.01.2008

Mr. Destructoid goes to Arkham (Horror, that is)

Impossible Plant suggested (sort of) that Mr. Destructoid should be an investigator in Arkham Horror. I agree. Obvious Disclaimer: This was made up by me and not Fantasy Flight Games, Obviously. I used the Strange Eons Character generator ( )   read

9:11 AM on 06.24.2008

The Turning Point of GTAIV (for me)

Niko Bellic is basically a nice guy, right? That's how I was playing it. He's just a nice guy who got dealt a bad hand and has to kill some people. I stayed in character. I avoided hitting pedestrians. I didn't kill people wh...   read

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