'Sup /D/?

Well, long story short...My computer has always sucked a fat one. I've always had to watch PC games fly by me and all I could do is whimper in pain. But with Spore coming out soon and a lot of good games dropping monthly...I figured it was time to suck it up and upgrade.

Finally, I sucked it up and shelled out $300 of my $400 paycheck for the week for a 8800GT and a 500W power supply to replace my 350W junker that most certainly would have 'sploded if I tried to run a 8800GT on it. (See my "Not my turning point gaming rig" post for pics and details!...not that you'd want to.)

Newegg was running a sale on EVGA 8800GT's ($199+$30 rebate ftw!) so I figured I would just go ahead and buy one. The power supply was $80...A friend recommended it as "totally GOOD, yo!" because I do not know much about this new fangled computer st00fz.

So it gets here today (as it damn well should have, since I paid UPS to get it here today!) and I unpack it gleefully, knowing full-well my computer will probably be toast by the time I am done, since I know not what I do when it comes to computers.

Actually, it went pretty damn well. The 8800GT was (of course) an easy install...Even a computer illiterate individual like myself can do that one. I had to switch a hard drive connector that was in the way of the video card, which is looooooooooooooong, but thankfully quite thin. I have large hands so messing about in a mid-tower case isn't easy. At all.

The PSU was what worried me...And it was pretty easy, but I forgot to put in the, uhh...SATA connector, is it called? Yea, and the computer would boot, but windows wouldn't boot up, obviously...

I plugged that in after I realized and it made this aweful SCREAMING noise and I thought the world was going to end or something. It was pretty damn terrible. So I switched off the PSU, plugged it in...Problem solves, everything booted up fine.

Installed drivers, and tested it out on CoH...The game runs very fast with everything on high settings and looks pretty good.

Now I just need some more games to really push the card to see what it can do. :)

Recommend? CoD4 sounds promising. As does The Orange Box.

<3 Schmo0zle

Oh, and the next upgrade is likely THIS (http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16824254026) bad boy. My 27" TV's screen messed up...So I figured, hell...Why not get a 28" MONITOR that I can use for my PC *AND* my Xbox 360 gaming!

Plus, the damn thing is only $500. Can't beat that.

Well, not LITERALLY breaking the law, however, one can draw a correlation between what they do and what the "McDonalds made me fat." criers did - which is now illegal.

In 2004-2005, a couple of pudgy 'gals brought a lawsuit upon the greasy desktop of McDonald's Corp. The reason? They claimed that their immense consumption of McDonald's food made them obese and that - and this is the kicker - this was McDonald's fault.

...And they were in their lawlsuitz, seekin' some damagez!

Much to the lulz of everyone sitting ring-side, we all knew this was a completely bogus charge because it isn't someone else's fault that they asked "I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?!" one too many times. And everyone else involved knew it was bogus too, including the Supreme Court where the trial eventually ended up.


The final ruling was that Pudge Queen and Pudgerella McDonald (no relation to McDonald's Corp.) were at fault for being obese. McDonald's was not guilty of "Fattery in the 3rd Degree".

This resulted in Bill #H.R.554 of the 109th Congressional Congress. The "Cheeseburger Bill". Which stated that - essentially - no one could sue a corporation for making them fat because it was their own damn fault.

IMAGINE THAT! Responsible for their own actions, which were done all by their lonesome, how can this be?!

When I heard about this in 2005, I also heard about the nefarious actions of Mr. Jack Thompson - Attorney at Lawlz. He and other nay-sayers were berating my favorite pass-time by saying that if I were to partake in said pass-time (gaming), that I would go on a violent shooting rampage, killing everyone in my path, screwing hookers, snorting coke and then finally, offing myself with a chain-saw rifle.

Since I have been playing GTA since I was 11 or 12, this was hilarious to me, because the thought of committing a school-shooting had never even crossed my mind. Not once.

So what is my point in all this? My point is this: You cannot blame game developers, publishers, programmers, animators, marketers, or even the janitor's in a developer's offices for the latest psychotic loony-toon child that goes on a shooting rampage and just HAPPENED to have played a violent video game.

Just like with the "Cheeseburger Bill", I am suggesting that the legality of suing a person or corporation for some kid going crazy and offing people should seriously be questioned in court someday, and when (not if, when) it is found that this is baseless, it should be made illegal; just like suing McDonald's for making you a fatty.

Furthermore, what the hell?! We see more violent things on TV than we do in video games, and they don't say "Clearly this child watched too much American Idol.", now do they! No, they do not! But I'll be damned if American Idol doesn't make me want to off people more than COD4 does. Ugh, hate that show. Simon Cowell is such a douche.

Now, CAN I HAZ CHEZEBURGER, pl0z?!

This technically is my first blog. How did I do?

<3 Schmo0zle

Long time Destructoid user, first time blogger!

This is DEFINITELY NOT my Turning Point gaming rig. In fact, if it resided in any certain place, it wouldn't be at the "Turning Point", it would be at the "Point of no return" which I am told is a street-corner in Harlem with gang bangers and prostitutes just standing there...Waiting for you to look at them wrong.

That is my computer. A prostitute that is waiting for you to look at her wrong. So she can shank you in the back and then laugh at you while you try and limp to safety.

Safety in this case being the "Turning Point" gaming rig. It saves lives. It is that good.

So I am entering a picture of my completely shoddy rig so that I may be saved by the Holy Jeebus of computers - the "Turning Point" gaming rig!




Also, product placement for DASANI, Alltel and the Smithsonian Museum!

And yes, all three of those items ARE faster than my "gaming rig" -- hell, let's not kid ourselves. This is not a gaming rig. This is a PC suitable for browsing that I happen to use to play games -- while getting 15 FPS doing so.

If you look closely at my desktop, you'll see games like the "Dawn of War" series (minus Soul Storm, which I haven't gotten yet...), WoW (which I don't play anymore...), Guild wars (ditto.), CoH, and Black & White 2. The only problem is that while I CAN play these games - I play them under immense lag on medium settings.

My computer sucks.

So for all those who were expecting a pretty face - you've clearly been let down. And for those of you who are naive enough to think "It is what's on the inside that counts!" - please, who are you fooling? The guts are worse than the skin that surrounds them! Here's my specs: Laugh hard. Laugh fucking hard.

- OS: Windows Vista Home Premium (which holds my gaming back EVEN further, YAY!) 32 bit version.

- Motherboard: AMD.

- Processor: AMD Athlon 64 2X Dual Core 5000+ @ 2.6 Ghz (Probably the best part of my 'puter, sadly.)

- Memory: 2GB RAM

- Graphics Card: ATI Radeon X1200 Series. (Suck.)

- Hard Drive: 320 GB 7500rpm P.O.S. (The P.O.S does NOT stand for "Pretty OutStanding", either.)

- Sound card: Integrated. (Cry.)

- Power Supply: 350W junker. (Can't even update my graphics card with this in the way.)

- Monitor: 19", I believe. (I say "I believe" because it's like 4 years old and I'm too lazy to measure it. Also, for comedic effect, my dxdiag logs insult me by calling my monitor "Generic PnP monitor". Thanks, asshole!)

- Speakers: No idea. They suck and crackle when I turn the sound up or down. Ugh. They too are 4+ years old.

- Mouse/Keyboard: Wireless Microsoft 4000 keyboard, 5000 mouse. Just got these the other day for like $70. They're alright.

So there you have it. I haven't been able to play a "new" game since...Well, I've actually never been able to. I've been trying to save up for a computer (and failing due to teh poorz), but since I saw this, I've decided to publicly humiliate myself by posting this in hopes of winning the monster rig!

Thanks for viewing! Try not to /mock me too hard, and congratulations to whoever wins this awesome PC!

<3 Schmo0zle