Scary Granules is a podcast about videogames, movies and generally all things horror, not to mention a frightening journey deep into the twisted psyches of two people who frankly should have been certified by now.
If you like an hour and a half of nonsense poured into your ears then you've come to the right place!
Hey baby, how was your day at the meat factory? Good, huh? Why don't you pass me that raw chicken over there...?
Look at what you're doing: hands no doubt slick with snot, saliva and various other bodily fluids, fresh from a hard day's work at the meat factory - just how much bacteria do you thinks on those hands of yours?
Yes, that's right. A lot. More than on a chubby Japanese Businessman's greasy bald spot after a prolonged karaoke session at any rate.
Would you have even thought about it if I hadn't mentioned it?
I doubt it, and yet every year literally millions of people die from too much bacteria in their faces. So go wash those hands!
...and then come back and listen to some quality podcasting!
Seriously, that's how tenuous the leaps between my jokes and the podcast have become.
It's not getting any better.
Anyhoo, on this week's show we discuss our racism, Ace Combat: Assault Horizon, Thunderhawk, Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa, Sturgait: SG1, Still Life 1 and 2, The Conjuring, Metro 2033, The Amityville Horror and Warframe, amongst other things.
We also discuss some of the furore surrounding Dragon's Crown and der boobies, and the apparent Feminist conspiracy that ummm... rules us all from the shadows? :S Oh yeah, and we get into discussing Creepypasta (scary gaming urban legends) in the second half of the show.
So why don't you take those sparkling white fingers of yours and press play already, huh babydoll?