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3:23 AM on 01.24.2015

Scary Granules Episode 26 - Buck Rogers Special!!!!

The year is 2014, and the Destructoid community has just launched the last of it's deep space exploration missions, Scary Granules 7. In a freak mishap whilst navigating their way around Jupiter's rings and simultaneously trying to reach for the TV remote to turn over from Jeremy Kyle our two hosts, Panza DelaDolphino and Glowbear Stinkypants Mcgee, are thrown off-course and into a freak spacial anomaly that knocks out their life-support system, frozen in suspended animation and left to drift back towards Earth as the years hurtle by things don't look good for our intrepid hosts...



2017...

2036...

2121...

2243...

2494...

2015!!!!!!

Shaken from their hybernation, still clutching their alcoholic beverages and assorted munchies, and now hurtling back to Earth at a speed never before experienced by normal human folk Glowbear and Panza decide to do the only logical thing: Record another episode of their awful podcast.

*gasp!!!*

Yes, that's right folks, we're back. Sorta. Kinda. Hopefully.

And we return with a very special Buck Rogers themed Scary Granules episode for you... YAY!!!! Though you can't actually see them, Panza and Glowbear are dressed as characters from the hit 80's TV show Buck Rogers in the 25th century for the entirety of the show. Panza obviously resembling Buck Rogers the most so dressed as him and Glowbear quite clearly resembling the space vampire from that one episode... so much so that she didn't even need to dress up!!



But it's not all about the Buck, we have diseases to talk about, and we played videogames (I'm looking at you Alien Isolation!), we also natter a bit about the Hellraiser comics, Glowbear waffles on about a Dragon Age something or other... I'm not sure, I sort of blacked out for that bit! What I can assure you we do have though is a good sense of humour, a raspy voice that will make you cry and enough entertainment value to fill an entire mid 90's early morning kid's TV show!



And just a warning you guys, this episode is 95% Buck Rogers. And by 95% I mean we mention him once and then get back to talking about all the random shit we talk about on every other episode!!! Dramatically exciting I know!!!!!!!!!!!

Scary Granules Episode 26 - Buck Rogers Special!!!!!
 
LISTEN HERE

How much Buck is too much Buck? Why not tell us:

[email protected]   

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave

 

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6:44 AM on 03.30.2014

Scary Granules Episode 25 - The Clickety Clack 25th Special!

Yay!


NOW GO AWAY!!!......No wait! Stay stay. Things got a bit emotional there.

It's our 25th episode special, where apart from the usual illuminated plushie and mutilated dolphin ramblings, we also have the lovely members of Destructoid tell us what their favourite gaming moments ever, ever are. These are moments that stuck with them like chewing gum on your eyebrows. Some really touching and interesting selections, so be sure to stayed tune right the way through for that.



As for Us, ourselves and I - We tentatively look at the ho-drum Sarkeesian copyright issues that came up recently and ponder "well ok but what took the owners so long?" and we give our own thoughts on the Bullshot Bullshit that is Developers pulling a graphically Peter Molyneux on us by showing degraded quality trailers for games we were shown to be jawdropping initially.



All that and more...plus Panza's breathing, Glowbear's stuttering and some audio sync problems that might make a section of the 2nd half trippy for you guys, but go with the flow.


Scary Granules Episode 25 - The Clickety Clack 25th Special!

LISTEN HERE


Do you like us, do you really like us? Why not tell us to our face:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


11:30 AM on 03.23.2014

Scary Granules Episode 24 - Attack of the Tentacle Monster



Oh what a beauitful morning, oh what a beautiful day
I am surrounded by tentacles
Panza's real name is Donny Gray

YES FOLKS! Another fantabulous episode of Scary Granules just for you and no one else. We talk about games we've played and games like Metro 2033 that, while being enjoyable, feel like they will just not end. 



We expand our minds to various gaming topics that have popped up and we make promises, to make promises to perhaps dress more modestly for the next special episode.



Scary Granules Episode 24 - Attack of the Tentacle Monster

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by chipolatas? Why not write in and tell us more about that:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


3:48 AM on 03.08.2014

Scary Granules Episode 23 - In Which Glowbear gets Willy Whispered

Some podcasts aren't meant to be listened to by mothers. 100% of the remaining podcasts, mothers have no interest in. This podcast is in the other remaining 100% whereby none of you should listen, but deep down you will. You'll listen, you'll feel and you will never look at life the same way again.



As always and forever more, the first half we discuss games and gnomes we've been fondling. Glowbear explains why The Novelist is a unique game worthy of being checked out (LIKE YO MAMA....sorry) and at the same time what it needed to really peak peoples interest.
Panza goes off on a weeaboo tirade, though not really, about Japanese horror games. I know right, we almost never ever mention that genre and tries to explain the tricky dicky mythology behind Siren 2.



In part 2 we recap some games we've heard about, that seem interesting. Ponder over Ken Levine's departure from Irrational games (well Irrational Games departure from this realm) and if he'll ever rejoin Maroon 5 again. We also talk about the horror genre and whether it astutely defines the films that are under its label. Ooh I feel all fancy now.

Then alas, we don't finish there. In fact I kinda wish we did but instead Panza has come up with another one of his WONDERFUL deep film concepts, once again featuring that underrated, Academy Award veteran, Jennifer Marcus Lopez. You might want a drink for that part.



scarygranules does not advocate the consumption of alcohol in any circumstances and legally must adhere to that mantra, but still would like to sneakily suggest that you drink yourself drowned during the script reveal segment of this episode.

Scary Granules Episode 23 - In Which Glowbear gets Willy Whispered

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by the homosexual cliches that popped up in this episode? Why not write in and tell us how terrible we are as human beings by emailing:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


2:12 PM on 02.20.2014

Scary Granules Episode 22 - Ellen Page in a Sailor Suit

Hello!

So it's been a while since I've written one of these (Panza here) so I might be a bit rusty... but SCARY GRANULES EPISODE DESCRIPTION INCOMING!

We have a lovely episode of Scary Granules for you today. There will be pages, and Ellens, and possibly talk of Alien(s)... just for a change! Umm, and we talk about... err.. a game, we, err...



Ok, so I lied. We're pretty boring this week/month/century! It's been a slow week in terms of games news, so sue me. What you do have to look forward to though is a scintiliating 12 hours of myself and Glowbear chatting about videogames!*

*It's not actually 12 hours long, it just feels it.

Glowbear is on the top of a bin for this episode, we talk about the Evangelion Manga, Disaster Report, Raw Danger and ofcourse... David Schwimmer masturbating onto a table! OMG, folks, this may just be the most exciting podcast EVER!



Oh come on, you could at least pretend to be listening ;_;

So yeah, if you like flagellating yourself with cold hard steel why not do the aural equivalent and listen to this here podcast?

Pretty please?

Scary Granules Episode 22 - Ellen Page in a Sailor Suit

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by the homosexual cliches that popped up in this episode? Why not write in and tell us how terrible we are as human beings by emailing:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


7:38 AM on 01.25.2014

Scary Granules Episode 21 - France is Creepy

Do you ever wonder "why do people do the things they do?" Well we often wonder why the French (especially those with diplomatic privileges) think they can stroke our Glowbear's bare knees whilst she tries to get 5 fooking minutes of peace to herself.



WELCOME TO OUR TOTALLY PC NEWEST EPISODE.

Waffling about games and alike takes up Part One as usual and then my little possums, Part Two delves into the titillating world of knee-stroking, BATSHIT patent laws in the nether-verse of Candy Bruce Banner Crushes, and our slightly un-gaming related thoughts on a series of documentaries that UK's channel 4 have recently aired, which has many people divided and not in the sensual way listening to our podcast causes so many to feel!




Would you sex us? We'd sex us... if we were drunk.



Scary Granules Episode 21 - France is Creepy

Listen here

Youtube Link

Download Here

Send us questions/comments/guest requests/shoe-horns to:
[email protected]

Official Scary Granules HQ

Our individual attempts at having an opinion forum online

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave
https://twitter.com/ScaryGranules

*Copyrightwise - We own nothing but ourselves!   read


4:46 AM on 01.13.2014

Scary Granules Episode 20 - Armoured Core Dildos

WE'RE BACK FROM OUTER SPACE....Yes you may have seen that recent acclaimed film where Panza has a shaved head and gets stuck in space and is the reason George Clooney is dead.



To kick off the New Year, we're talking about the same ol' drivel. Games we've played, things we've touched, men we've pretended to be to get ahead in the economic market. It's all jam-packed like a packet of jam in this fresh episode



Part 1 has us recap the games we've greased controllers with, films and shows we've tried out and even the odd mention of literature, because we r schmurt! 


What? Google "ArmaCore" and this is the legit game!

Then in Part 2 we focus on the more positive tidbit stories from 2013, give our opinions on Alien Isolation and explain in an almost philosophical level exactly what SEGA is and how they work. 




Then we give a very rapid round up of our favourite games this past year. Well Glowbear does, because she knows how to talk. Her mouth can move in ways that will make you wish you were...deaf. Panza's ass moves in a way that would make you wish you were Beyonce. 

ANYHUGHJACKMAN...Onwards with the show!

Scary Granules Episode 20 - Armoured Core Dildos

Listen here

Youtube Link

Download Here

Send us questions/comments/guest requests/shoe-horns to:
[email protected]

Official Scary Granules HQ

Our individual attempts at having an opinion forum online

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave
https://twitter.com/ScaryGranules

*Copyrightwise - We own nothing but ourselves   read


4:49 PM on 11.09.2013

Late Nights poppin' yo cherry

We got sent an Alpha preview for the upcoming, atmospheric Stasis. Check out their website and kickstarter.

For your pleasure we've got our video preview and a written one for you videophones out there. 




Then back to the latest Scary Cherry Pops aka a name we gave to when we play games for the first time, not something sordid you'd find on a Russian ebay.

One Late Night


A look at Thunderbirds Games



7 Days


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4:07 PM on 11.05.2013

Death by Condom Puppets

Don't say we don't cater to EVERY desire. This time we've got Ghoulish ghost babies, neat mobile phones that save your life and PUPPETS FROM A TIME GONE BY.

Cry of Fear



Home (this is where the condoms killers are at you sick beasts)


Gerry Anderson's Thunderbirds Games


Happy fapping!

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7:52 AM on 11.04.2013

Swapping Cat Ladies

We gave the uber disturbing, depression metaphor game The Cat Lady a go and yeah it's pretty messed up.




We also checked out a bit of The Swapper and were pleased with what we've seen so far. Glowbear intends to finish that one.



As always, likes, subscribes and passing the germs is greatly appreciated!


I don't...know....why...   read


2:52 AM on 10.31.2013

HalloWishes this Gravyween Dtoidians

Happy Halloween everyone....even you!

You know what the scariest thing we've encountered is this past month is? Trubbish and it's evolved form. 


Just look at it. Put it down, put it out of its misery, why GAMEFREAK WHY?!


Isn't this piece of fawking art by RobertoPlankton just fawking amazing! 

That's a yes!

Have some Halloween inspired horror gameplay from us with Penumbra Overture, a game about cotton string and helping your wife keep up with the jonese, fishy style.







Enjoy the end of October and prepare yourselves for the true horror of "already displayed Christmas merchandise"!   read


7:41 AM on 10.29.2013

The Illogical Dark Grey Path

Best and Worst TV Video Games



Pathologic

I've read some varying reviews of this game, that border on either "this is just weird and bad" to "this is one of the best games of it's type ever". Personally I found it hard to get past the initial introduction to see anything wowing about the game and the following video shows that.

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