Welcome to the premier Perry Mason fan podcast, Scary Granules!

...and oh yeah, I guess we talk about games sometimes too. I guess.

So here we are again guys, the best damn legal podcasting team in all of Destructoid; but we're not here to lawyer in your faces today guys, we're just here to talk to you about videogames, and possibly our lord and saviour, Perry H Mason (halleluh!)

(The H stands for awesome.)



And if it isn't obvious from the jokes we don't really have many videogames to talk about this week. Honestly, we haven't played anything at all. Like the tough legal professionals that we are we hate games and all that they represent.

Ok, honestly, that's probably as much mileage as I can expect to get out of the legal jokes. So anyway...

We talk about movies a little, Glowbear has apparently been on the Midnight Meat Train of late... err, wait, what did I just type?! Ew. Anyway that's a movie, that exists, and is apparently not a euphemism(?!) I don't even know anymore. Also that Star Trek film that we both done did saw.



We also have a quick natter about Knights of Sidonia, an awesome manga that has robots, giant space aliens and weird fucked-up stuff in <3

In the second half we discuss our impressions of the Xboner, and sufficed to say we're not all too impressed. We talk more generally about what we feel worked with other consoles and then debate the eternal engima that is 'what does the DS stand for in Nintendo DS?' (DUAL SCREEN DUAL SCREEN DUAL SCREEN) 

Even the eggheads at Scary Granules can't figure it out. Perhaps it's just one of those mysteries that will remained unsolved forever? (DUAL SCREEN DUAL SCREEN DUAL SCREEN)

We also answer a question from regular listener and world-renowned close-up magician Zebadiah Geronimo Platypus, who almost certainly sees himself as a younger version of the lawyer from Jurassic Park. Yep.

This has been a Scary Granules broadcast, I do hope you haven't tried to adjust your set (it won't help, since we're on the internet and not on your TV (yet.)

Scary Granules is a legal horror podcast brought to you by...



Hope you enjoy it!

Scary Granules Episode 12 - Taking it up the Perry Mason

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

questions/abuse/mad rants about a Challenge Anneka revival can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Or alternatively talk at us directly:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/

Well folks, you’re in for a treat this week. Because not only are we talking about games, but we’re also talking about STUFF!

Oh and Tarvu joins us as a guest :p



Yes that young hatchling Tarvu joins us this week giving us his opinions, whether we like them or not and making a whole range of noises that border from erotic to downright spine tingling. He’s with us for our usual routine of discussing what games we’ve been playing, including a mutual groan of all wanting to play Bioshock Infinite.Tarvu mainly just wants the game to be in him, in him so good.


Siiighhhh....want it now

Then in the second part we delve lightly into the recent addendum in the sexism wars that plague gaming by giving our opinions on the Remember Me female protagonist controversy. Because kissing guys is icky right? Oh my goodness preaching to the choir. Panza also discusses a couple of cool horror games on and Glowbear also finally realises that getting a PS2 would be a good investment.

Then we just have a quick mull over upcoming horror games for 2013 and learn that Tarvu, surprisingly has absolutely nothing to offer in terms of that genre.
We also give a shout out as usual and mention some brief details regarding our plans for upcoming cons this year, such as Rezzed and Eurogamer.


Scary Granules Episode 11 - Birdman's Vagina Special!

DOWNLOAD HERE –

https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=EB2C3D66A70D5A46!140&authkey=!AI3nKrUhkYsLfAo

http://www.mediafire.com/?g5e2mk9ysmqm29a


Queries/abuse/letters of complaint regarding why YOU don’t have a copy of Bioshock Infinite yet can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Like & follow us pwease:

Scary Facebook
Granulated Twitter

Or alternatively talk at us directly:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/

HA! Yeah, we're back again! BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.

Joke's on you guy who put a bomb under my car seat, I don't even drive!



...wait, so who's ca... err MOVING ON..

On this week's show we talk about games.

*SHOCKER*

Glowbo describes in excruciating detail her love of Mass Effect and her ability to simultaneously rub all the discs on her face at once; XCOM comes up AGAIN, The Mythical Adventures of Lara Croft is discussed, and we talk a little about AvP Classic... Oh, and Colonial Marines... AGAIN...
AGAIN *sigh*

We talk about a few 'exotic' movies aswell.

And by exotic I ofcourse mean digusting.



In the second half we discuss classic games that we feel stand the test of time and are still worth venturing into today; we talk a bit about the different types of gameplay that have tended to dominate the different console generations and why games like System Shock 2 and Hellnight should still be sort after titles in an age of photo-realistic graphics and sky-high production values.

Oh, and that's followed by a short segment on the beards of videogaming. Yeah, we had that much spare time.

Like the filthy scumbags we are!



Have we kicked our respective heroin and sun-tan lotion addictions?

Why not tune in to find out!

...or alternatively just download the episode; hiring that radio transmitter out 24/7 probably wasn't the most fiscally sound decision we've made as a podcast, but you live and learn!

Scary Granules Episode 10 - Rub it on mah face

DOWNLOAD HERE - http://sdrv.ms/X8kOr4

Direct Link

questions/abuse/mad rants about Olivia Thirlby's moustache can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Or alternatively talk at us directly:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/

Who needs a family and a social life? Not us, we’ve got video games and kebabs!!
I take it back, I need you….I want you…come back!



Oh dear those sentences will never not reek of bleak! Oh nice rhyme.

ANYWAY ANYWAY…

This week we delve into Aliens Colonial Marines and discuss the co-op sessions that Glowbear and Panza have done together. That sounds more sordid than it was meant. We moan and groan about the many now known cons of the game and ponder on what could have been, what was before and what never came to light.

Panza really wants that old Alien game from the 1600’s to be spruced up and come out. Glowbear agrees but would also be grateful for any decent Aliens game.



We’re not hard to please and either must you lovely folk, listening to our podcasts every week!

We also talk about franchises that should be stopped or take a break, you know like Rachel and Ross…because NO ONE ELSE EVER TOOK A BREAK IN A RELATIONSHIP!

Mainly we focus on games that have direct sequels or the whole shebang that ensues when a game is supposedly coming to a climactic ending, wrapping up the stories it began with the first installment…only to then lie to our faces and add the next number up to it’s generic shelf cover.

Why lie to us, when we love you so hard and so good?



Tangents happen, thoughts are thunk, spokes are spunked and all in all, it’s a pretty fun episode. So why on earth are you just sitting there attending to your newborns feeding needs or paying those silly bills?

So download, listen and drop us some feedback or tips on how to consume kebabs without being engulfed in the shame that accompanies it.

Scary Granules Episode 9: Little Kebab Shop of Horrors can be found at the following:

DOWNLOAD HERE – https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=EB2C3D66A70D5A46!138&authkey=!ABXVSEL4lGExHzw

Mediafire

Questions/abuse/mad rants about medical conditions relating to the ankle area alone, can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Or alternatively talk at us directly:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/

Well an arty farty smarty to you all.



This weeks episode has us doing our usual riveting musings over what we've been up to since last time. Games, films and the occasional trips down sordid recent memory lanes occurred. Dark...dark...thoughts.

Panza discusses his recent gaming exploits and continues to hate Batman: Arkham City and recommends Zero Dark Thirty to his fembear comrade and you listeners out there.



Glowbear shows the world just how slow ass she is with more or less the same gaming on a loop but offers some quick bite snippets regarding the latest horror films she watched this week, including The Hollow and Haunting in Connecticut 2.

We also take a look at the topic of high art in games and primarily focus on the comments made by Far Cry 3 writer Jeffrey Yohalem. We also make awful, yet earnest attempts to pronounce that surname well.
We ask why can't games simply be games, adding an added depth of metaphorical anarchy in non pretentious manners and if there are even any deeper meanings to those that claim to be riddled with them.



We play a quick game of “if games were different genres”, which Panza insists that Glowbear is playing wrong. But answer me this young dolphin, how can one play the question of possibilities….wrong? Truly, as always, some riveting deep philosophical musings right there.




Scary Granules Episode 8: PretentiousCast is here folks.

http://www.mediafire.com/?ecvf6upfxtdmt9a

https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=EB2C3D66A70D5A46!137&authkey=!AAF-iM4S9rLKQ1A


Questions/abuse/complaints regarding your whites not coming out of the wash as white as you’d like can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Or alternatively talk at us directly and DO FOLLOW US:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/

Like and join in on our Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/ScaryGranules

You see a figure on the distant horizon.

Running towards you.

Buckled and braced in body armour, sleek sleeves of rigid ceramic shielding the length of his body from harm; alert and watchful, a pulse rifle gripped tight to his chest he keeps a steady eye on the distance. As others form up behind him he takes a step forward, striking an imposing figure, but it's only as he does so that you notice:

He's made of pancakes.


...And also that he's carrying a signed official promo for Scary Granules Episode 7!



THAT'S RIGHT GUYS, WE'RE BACK.

AND WE'RE PROBABLY NOT ANY FUNNIER THAN WE WERE BEFORE.

HI



*waves*

Things get down and dirty fast this week as we discuss Binary Domain, Borderlands 2, Metal Gear Solid 3, Batman Arkham City, Don't Starve, and a bit of Dungeon Keeper and Lords of the Realm 2. We haven't read any books this week, as apparently we're illiterate, so don't go expecting anything approaching... err... big words.

YEAH...



Found-footage movies come up as we discuss The Helpers, Diary of the Dead and Rec 2 among others things we've seen. Glowbo then lists literally every movie she's ever seen and will ever seen - she's like a cold, hard, movie-fact machine! Trust me, it's probably the best part of the podcast!

Then in the second half things get super serious as we discuss the spectre of creepy fan-worship in the entertainment industry, we share our videogame lovelife fantasies and then Glowbo declares that the only way she'll ever accept a space marine in her life is if he's been battered and beaten with a whole lot of yoke!

(OH MY!)



So why not give Scary Granules episode 7 a listen, you might even like (bits) of it!

Scary Granules Episode 7 - Pancake Space Marines

DOWNLOAD HERE - http://sdrv.ms/WBjM3o

Direct Link

questions/abuse/mad rants about Michael Ironside's paunch can be sent to us at:

scarygranules@hotmail.co.uk

Or alternatively talk at us directly:

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/
http://flavors.me/glowbear/