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5:48 AM on 07.26.2015

Her Story and Bears Can't Drift!? Reviews

Why hello there, how are you? Fancy reading and watching some reviews of recent games? Yeah you do, you saucy minx.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-296659-bearsfrontjpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Bears Can't Drift!? (how rude)

Written Review can be found here on our website

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTh0y0wQ4sI[/youtube]

 

Her Story Review is here for your beautiful deep eyes. You're gorgeous!

[img]https://scarygranules.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/herstory-2015-07-25-10-56-22-35.png[/img]

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5:48 AM on 06.20.2015

Scary Granules Episode 30 - Super Special Collectors Edition

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-294490-scaryG620x250jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

It's a beautiful moment, not just for the Scarygranules duo Glowbear and Panza, but for all of you. I mean the joy that we're feeling cannot come close to the sheer ecstasy that is overwhelming you and your brethren. Yes we know you're excxited, we know you'vbe been waiting for ages and finally it's here, wipe your tears.

OUR 30TH EPISODE SPECIAL!!

[img]http://i.imgur.com/spyZ0EQ.gif[/img]

This episode is special for many reason, not least of all because we're shocked we got past episode 2. We've had some lovely guests in the past and we're looking forward to having more join us on this deliciously depraved gaming gravy boat. ScaryGranules is expanding in little but important ways this year and we're hopeful that we'll keep striving. We do this because we enjoy it, we like interacting with the community and to have various outlets for a passion that also allows us to share with people from all over the world is just wonderful.

What's even more wonderful for this episode is that Dr. Tom Tom @DrRockyowitz a Dtoider and all around musical badass has created our very own special, one of a kind, theme song. He's a pretty swell guy (IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD LADIES) and a talented guitarist and composer.

With all that gushing out of the way, get comfortable, close your curtains and check out the 30th episode podcast, where we talk about games, films, the value and wishlist behind remastered titles, Steam refunds and a mixed sweetie bag of other juicy topics.

LISTEN HERE!

If you want to guess what colour of green underwear Panza wears every Tues, feel free to email us your guesses:

[email protected]   

Do so kindly follow us:  
https://twitter.com/ScaryGranules

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave

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6:49 AM on 05.23.2015

Scary Granules Episode 29 - ULTIMATE EDITION!

A cold wind blows through your knickers, an omen so dark it can only herald the coming once again (oh my!) of that sickening podcast the kids refer to only as the 'Scareth Granuleth podcast', and only then in hushed whispers. Yes, it's that time again... when we talk randomly for a little while, record it, and then ask you humbly to put it up your ear tubes and to please enjoy Scary Granules Episode 29!

Yes friends, why spend that 30 pesetas you earnt from a week toiling in the horse factory to get flogged senseless by an old lady who wears tight leather boots and answers to 'Dave' when you can get the audio equivalent for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! And feel your life totally filled by ABSOLUTELY NOTHING as you listen to us!!!~

Achievement unlocked.


So what old rubbish we talking about on this episode?

Well, not games, that's for sure.

Glowbear, in a shocking turn of events, reveals she has played no videogames at all lately... BECAUSE secretly she has hated games since the beginning of the first show, and has only been pretending all this time for the megabucks and respect it brings, or, you know, because she's been busy with life stuff. It's one of the two. Panza meanwhile has played some of the Resident Evil 4s, and also Modern Warfare 3... which has guns in it, apparently. Our intrepid hosts also get locked in the internal struggle that is deciding wtf to call the REmake.. Resident Evil 0? Resident Evil 1? Resident Evil Hamburgler? I don't know!

We also discuss some of them their films that people watch, there's some talk of horror movies and the limits of horror, and what is sometimes 'too far'. And we also chat a little about future releases we may or may not be looking forward to.



So yeah, join us friends as we struggle to even sound interested in hosting our own podcast in the ULTIMATE EDITION of Scary Granules Episode 29!*

Scary Granules Episode 29 - ULTIMATE EDITION!
 
LISTEN HERE

If you know which Resident Evil the REmake is then come talk to us at:

[email protected]   

Or alternatively shunt it up us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave








*'Scary Granules Episode 29 - ULTIMATE EDITION!' available from all major retailers; does not include inflatable cast sex toy action figure playset DLC or 80's workout video DLC. Those sold separately at select retailers.

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12:39 PM on 04.13.2015

Scary Granules Episode 28 - Let the titties shake free

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-263710-Untitledjpg-620x.jpg[/img]

April has hit us right in the face and that gives us the right you hit you in yours with Episode 28 of Scary Granules

Glowbear and Panza, who look so graciously gloriously good thanks to Roberto Plankton's artwork, talk about the games they've played and also about life. Not their lives because, good grief we wouldn't do that to you.

We do once again, have difficulty pronouncing that game Panza is playing with the evil bear aka Danganronpa and Glowbear activates grumpy old woman mode as she speaks about the annoying dialogue of the cheesy hipster FOOLS in Life is Strange.

[img]http://38.media.tumblr.com/0d08fed94356841e4f58c518d130b1b1/tumblr_n9n4ij7rQY1tsqfrjo1_500.jpg[/img]

Combined powers of gratitude flow towards modders and mods we enjoy in part 2.

We give the smallest amount of time to the "scandal for the sake of it" that came from Lionhead posting pictures of humans. BE FREE TITTIES! 

[img]http://www.pixeldynamo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/lionheadcontroversy.jpg[/img]

We also explore the madness that comes from games like Evolve going overboard with DLC and what constitutes as a full package retail game. 

Scary Granules Episode 28 - Let the titties shake free
 
LISTEN HERE

If you have titties or a butt, come talk to us at:

[email protected]   

Or alternatively twerk at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave

  read


12:48 PM on 03.24.2015

Dragon Age Irish Legend Lesson

One half of Scary Granules and Destructoid writer Glowbear has made a video to help people learn more about the lovely language that comes from Ireland, via vidjagames. On previous peisodes of the SG podcast it's been brought up that Dragon Age features many Irish nouns and most are mispronounced, so sit back, pop on your headphones and get Irishmucated!

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1AWN-ON8S0[/youtube]

 

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9:51 AM on 02.22.2015

Scary Granules Episode 27 - Peter Molyneux's pants are on fire

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-263710-BeFunkyUntitledjpgjpg-620x.jpg[/img]

It's another month and that means another episode of Scary Granules. This episode we discuss, as usual, the recent games, films and books we've been putting our grubby little hands and lewd bulging eyes on.

Glowbear talks about what makes a found footage stand out and found footage horror films can fail if they forget what key notes they should stick with.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-263710-BeFunkyRecentertainmentnerdlikeyoue1381876366777jpgjpg-620x.jpg[/img]

We also discuss recent Gaming news such as that norty wittle Petey Mildew telling porkies and give our opinions on our experience with his games, when we saw him give a ludicrous Curiosiuty/Godus talk at Rezzed and why he is the way he is.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/177613-263710-BeFunky27152927jpgjpg-620x.jpg[/img]

We also explore the madness that comes from games like Evolve going overboard with DLC and what constitutes as a full package retail game. 

Scary Granules Episode 27 - Peter Molyneux's pants are on fire
 
LISTEN HERE

If you found a found fgootage film, would you find yourself finding out how much finding is needed to be found? Tell us your thoughts at:

[email protected]   

Or alternatively twerk at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave

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3:23 AM on 01.24.2015

Scary Granules Episode 26 - Buck Rogers Special!!!!

The year is 2014, and the Destructoid community has just launched the last of it's deep space exploration missions, Scary Granules 7. In a freak mishap whilst navigating their way around Jupiter's rings and simultaneously trying to reach for the TV remote to turn over from Jeremy Kyle our two hosts, Panza DelaDolphino and Glowbear Stinkypants Mcgee, are thrown off-course and into a freak spacial anomaly that knocks out their life-support system, frozen in suspended animation and left to drift back towards Earth as the years hurtle by things don't look good for our intrepid hosts...



2017...

2036...

2121...

2243...

2494...

2015!!!!!!

Shaken from their hybernation, still clutching their alcoholic beverages and assorted munchies, and now hurtling back to Earth at a speed never before experienced by normal human folk Glowbear and Panza decide to do the only logical thing: Record another episode of their awful podcast.

*gasp!!!*

Yes, that's right folks, we're back. Sorta. Kinda. Hopefully.

And we return with a very special Buck Rogers themed Scary Granules episode for you... YAY!!!! Though you can't actually see them, Panza and Glowbear are dressed as characters from the hit 80's TV show Buck Rogers in the 25th century for the entirety of the show. Panza obviously resembling Buck Rogers the most so dressed as him and Glowbear quite clearly resembling the space vampire from that one episode... so much so that she didn't even need to dress up!!



But it's not all about the Buck, we have diseases to talk about, and we played videogames (I'm looking at you Alien Isolation!), we also natter a bit about the Hellraiser comics, Glowbear waffles on about a Dragon Age something or other... I'm not sure, I sort of blacked out for that bit! What I can assure you we do have though is a good sense of humour, a raspy voice that will make you cry and enough entertainment value to fill an entire mid 90's early morning kid's TV show!



And just a warning you guys, this episode is 95% Buck Rogers. And by 95% I mean we mention him once and then get back to talking about all the random shit we talk about on every other episode!!! Dramatically exciting I know!!!!!!!!!!!

Scary Granules Episode 26 - Buck Rogers Special!!!!!
 
LISTEN HERE

How much Buck is too much Buck? Why not tell us:

[email protected]   

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave

 

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6:44 AM on 03.30.2014

Scary Granules Episode 25 - The Clickety Clack 25th Special!

Yay!


NOW GO AWAY!!!......No wait! Stay stay. Things got a bit emotional there.

It's our 25th episode special, where apart from the usual illuminated plushie and mutilated dolphin ramblings, we also have the lovely members of Destructoid tell us what their favourite gaming moments ever, ever are. These are moments that stuck with them like chewing gum on your eyebrows. Some really touching and interesting selections, so be sure to stayed tune right the way through for that.



As for Us, ourselves and I - We tentatively look at the ho-drum Sarkeesian copyright issues that came up recently and ponder "well ok but what took the owners so long?" and we give our own thoughts on the Bullshot Bullshit that is Developers pulling a graphically Peter Molyneux on us by showing degraded quality trailers for games we were shown to be jawdropping initially.



All that and more...plus Panza's breathing, Glowbear's stuttering and some audio sync problems that might make a section of the 2nd half trippy for you guys, but go with the flow.


Scary Granules Episode 25 - The Clickety Clack 25th Special!

LISTEN HERE


Do you like us, do you really like us? Why not tell us to our face:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


11:30 AM on 03.23.2014

Scary Granules Episode 24 - Attack of the Tentacle Monster



Oh what a beauitful morning, oh what a beautiful day
I am surrounded by tentacles
Panza's real name is Donny Gray

YES FOLKS! Another fantabulous episode of Scary Granules just for you and no one else. We talk about games we've played and games like Metro 2033 that, while being enjoyable, feel like they will just not end. 



We expand our minds to various gaming topics that have popped up and we make promises, to make promises to perhaps dress more modestly for the next special episode.



Scary Granules Episode 24 - Attack of the Tentacle Monster

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by chipolatas? Why not write in and tell us more about that:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


3:48 AM on 03.08.2014

Scary Granules Episode 23 - In Which Glowbear gets Willy Whispered

Some podcasts aren't meant to be listened to by mothers. 100% of the remaining podcasts, mothers have no interest in. This podcast is in the other remaining 100% whereby none of you should listen, but deep down you will. You'll listen, you'll feel and you will never look at life the same way again.



As always and forever more, the first half we discuss games and gnomes we've been fondling. Glowbear explains why The Novelist is a unique game worthy of being checked out (LIKE YO MAMA....sorry) and at the same time what it needed to really peak peoples interest.
Panza goes off on a weeaboo tirade, though not really, about Japanese horror games. I know right, we almost never ever mention that genre and tries to explain the tricky dicky mythology behind Siren 2.



In part 2 we recap some games we've heard about, that seem interesting. Ponder over Ken Levine's departure from Irrational games (well Irrational Games departure from this realm) and if he'll ever rejoin Maroon 5 again. We also talk about the horror genre and whether it astutely defines the films that are under its label. Ooh I feel all fancy now.

Then alas, we don't finish there. In fact I kinda wish we did but instead Panza has come up with another one of his WONDERFUL deep film concepts, once again featuring that underrated, Academy Award veteran, Jennifer Marcus Lopez. You might want a drink for that part.



scarygranules does not advocate the consumption of alcohol in any circumstances and legally must adhere to that mantra, but still would like to sneakily suggest that you drink yourself drowned during the script reveal segment of this episode.

Scary Granules Episode 23 - In Which Glowbear gets Willy Whispered

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by the homosexual cliches that popped up in this episode? Why not write in and tell us how terrible we are as human beings by emailing:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


2:12 PM on 02.20.2014

Scary Granules Episode 22 - Ellen Page in a Sailor Suit

Hello!

So it's been a while since I've written one of these (Panza here) so I might be a bit rusty... but SCARY GRANULES EPISODE DESCRIPTION INCOMING!

We have a lovely episode of Scary Granules for you today. There will be pages, and Ellens, and possibly talk of Alien(s)... just for a change! Umm, and we talk about... err.. a game, we, err...



Ok, so I lied. We're pretty boring this week/month/century! It's been a slow week in terms of games news, so sue me. What you do have to look forward to though is a scintiliating 12 hours of myself and Glowbear chatting about videogames!*

*It's not actually 12 hours long, it just feels it.

Glowbear is on the top of a bin for this episode, we talk about the Evangelion Manga, Disaster Report, Raw Danger and ofcourse... David Schwimmer masturbating onto a table! OMG, folks, this may just be the most exciting podcast EVER!



Oh come on, you could at least pretend to be listening ;_;

So yeah, if you like flagellating yourself with cold hard steel why not do the aural equivalent and listen to this here podcast?

Pretty please?

Scary Granules Episode 22 - Ellen Page in a Sailor Suit

LISTEN HERE

Alternate Link

Are you offended by the homosexual cliches that popped up in this episode? Why not write in and tell us how terrible we are as human beings by emailing:

[email protected]  

Official Scary Granules HQ Website

Or alternatively talk/wag your finger at us directly:  

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
http://flavors.me/glowbear/   read


7:38 AM on 01.25.2014

Scary Granules Episode 21 - France is Creepy

Do you ever wonder "why do people do the things they do?" Well we often wonder why the French (especially those with diplomatic privileges) think they can stroke our Glowbear's bare knees whilst she tries to get 5 fooking minutes of peace to herself.



WELCOME TO OUR TOTALLY PC NEWEST EPISODE.

Waffling about games and alike takes up Part One as usual and then my little possums, Part Two delves into the titillating world of knee-stroking, BATSHIT patent laws in the nether-verse of Candy Bruce Banner Crushes, and our slightly un-gaming related thoughts on a series of documentaries that UK's channel 4 have recently aired, which has many people divided and not in the sensual way listening to our podcast causes so many to feel!




Would you sex us? We'd sex us... if we were drunk.



Scary Granules Episode 21 - France is Creepy

Listen here

Youtube Link

Download Here

Send us questions/comments/guest requests/shoe-horns to:
[email protected]

Official Scary Granules HQ

Our individual attempts at having an opinion forum online

https://twitter.com/Acidmphino/ 
https://twitter.com/TilderAsgrave
https://twitter.com/ScaryGranules

*Copyrightwise - We own nothing but ourselves!   read


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