Around 2:30 pm last Saturday Holden Fleming, a guest at Jellystone Park, called authorities when he noticed that the famous brown bear Yogi, was no longer breathing.

“I looked for a park employee for two hours,” stated Mr. Fleming. “It seemed like no one cared that he (Yogi) had died”

When Dr. Jonathan Walls, a local veterinarian, was finally called onto the scene it was confirmed that Yogi Bear had been dead for at least thirty two hours.

Yogi Bear had been the main attraction for the park for a decade and a half. A hundred miles in every direction it is hard not to find the iconic bears face and catchphrase on coffee cups, hats, t-shirts, and other memorabilia. At the time fo the height of Yogi’s popularity the entire country knew his name.

However due to lack of funding for the park and the current economic downturn Jellystone Park has seen a steep decline of money and resources. Last year the shareholders of the park declared it bankrupt for the first time in the parks history.

Dr. Walls has continued to help the police in this tragic matter due the influx of evidence pointing towards abuse of the famous bear. In a recent press release Dr. Walls stated that Yogi bear had originally weighed in at 1.5 tons when he first came to the park, however at the time of his death he weighed a mere eight hundred pounds.

Another possibly contributing factor to Yogi’s death was the discovery of wicker baskets found inside of his den. Most of the baskets had been partially eaten.

“If Yogi did eat those baskets in his condition they would have lacerated the inner walls of his throat and stomach,” commented Dr. Walls.

The animal rights organization PETA came forward yesterday with footage and pictures of Yogi while he was still alive. The activist group said it had been trying to get Yogi and his den mate BooBoo, a smaller, younger brown bear, relocated for the last two years. The footage shows the deathly skinny Yogi Bear swaying back and forth while staring at the brick walls of his enclosure. Other more disturbing photo’s show both bears fur caked with their own excrement.

“We stayed all day once and not a single employee ever showed up to at least check in on the bears,” said a PETA member.

However it was footage from an unknown source that has caused the authorities to investigate the park further. It is claimed that the footage shows an unidentified park employee using a cattle prod on Yogi with out provocation. The abuse lasts for nearly forty minutes until the employee leaves after the exhausted bear would no longer move.

As of this writing shareholders in Jellystone Park have refused to comment, and the police have not made any official arrests. Several employees have been taken into question including Park Ranger Smith who has been allegedly identified as the man on the footage torturing Yogi Bear.

There are plans underway to move the bear BooBoo to a new location until the investigation is over.

Too put it simply I like ships. Submarines, boats, Spaceships, everything I just think they're cool. So obviously this list has been inspired by nothing more than my own personal interest in both maned vehicles and fictional stories. I will say that this is a personal list and I certainly haven't seen all ships in popular Fiction and I'm sure I've left off certain ones that people love.

The way I ordered the ships was a mix of how powerful the ships are and how much I like them. Also all the ships had to carry more than one person, if I didn't use that prerequisite then there would be at least three different Gundam models and a lot of different fighters that would take up space on the list. And if you're a Star Wars fan you can go ahead and stop reading. =)

15. The Enterprise-E



The argument here can be made that why not pick the original Enterprise or even the Enterprise-D. The answer for me is quite simple. It looks bad ass. Not to mention that within the Star Trek universe it is one of the most powerful ship in the Federation fleet. And who hasn't imagined themselves on the on the bridge as Captain Picard shouted out orders as the ship is blasting away at the hull of a Borg cube. Oh hell yeah I'm that nerdy!


14. The Red October



Submarines are cool, Russian submarines are even cooler. The slick polished design inside the Red October almost feels like a cathedral which is emphasized by the singing scene in the film itself. Also the movie sets up this great atmosphere around the ship. Whenever the Red October is mentioned everyone gets this look of "oh shit." Of course this is all without even mentioning the, perhaps, best performance by Sean Connery.


13. The Black Pearl



I'm not that big of a fan of old school sailing ships but the first time I saw the first Pirates movie I fell in love with the Black Pearl. Sure the ship may be damned but that only gives it some personality, it made the ship interesting instead of being standard and run of the mill.


12. Serenity



This is the first pick in which I decided to put it on the list because I would want to be part of the crew. To go on adventures and jobs with the crew of Serenity would be so much fun. The ship itself it also interesting and like the Black Pearl has a lot of character. If you've watched the show you would understand what I mean. Serenity is always breaking down and needing repairs but it becomes a home. For example the lounge room on Serenity isn't a stereotypical rec room as seen on endless other scifi ships but it has a couch you might see at a flea market and worn out rugs on the floor. Serenity isn't just a ship but a place that you can always turn to after a hard day of shooting people.


11. Howl's Moving Castle



Howl's Moving Castle is perhaps the most unconventional pick on the list. It's not so much a ship but a magical moving house. Miyazaki is one of the great directors of our time, and it's because of his boundless imagination. The castle itself is a great mix match between magic and the quirkiness of its own construction.


10. Seaquest



As a kid Seaquest was one of the shows I grew up on and absolutely loved. However as an adult I go back and watch the show and find very little to like. The nostaglia is still there of course and it succeeded as an mid 90's TV show that had more in common with Star Trek then what the creators actually intended. All that aside the ship Seaquest is remarkable. I have a fascination of what lies in our uncharted oceans and this is the ship you would want to discover what is in the unknown depths. Not only is the ship huge but has a sleek design on the inside and outside and has enough equipment for any kind of scientific research.


9. Moya (Farscape)



As living ships go it doesn't get better than Moya from the show Farscape. Again this is another pic where I would like to be a member of the crew. The world of Farscape is rich and dangerous but isn't scared of some good old slapstick humor. I have always been an avid watcher of the show and over the years you come to accept Moya as more than a ship but an actual character that you love. In other shows there is always the "the ship is being infected" episodes but when it happened to Moya you felt more about how the crew where going to save the day. She was more than just a ship but a living being who even gives birth at one point.


8. Battlestar Galatica



It's the Battlestar Galatica. It's just badass.

7. Glass House (Watchmen)



Now this the point on the list when the picks become a little more obscure. The glass house in Watchmen is created by Dr. Manhattan and serves as a metaphor for his shattered psych and serves as a representation of how the universe works like a huge clockwork watch that can break so easily. And sadly you have to be blue, experience time non-linearly, and manipulate matter to pilot this one of a kind ship. That's why it is on the list because it represents the power that Dr. Manhattan had and is a strong metaphor in a brilliant graphic novel.


6. The Sphere (The Fountain)



Other than being an amazing film The Fountain also gave us one of the most unique ships ever imagined. Its origin's are completely unknown and the speed at which it crosses the universe is staggering even amongst the other star ships already on this list. Not to mention that the very design of the ship gives the travelers a unique experience. Within its protective shell the travelers can almost touch space itself and experience a view that no other ship can provide.


5. The Event Horizon



This list wouldn't be complete without at least one ship that's been to Hell. The film "Event Horizon" isn't particularly good but it is fun to watch and has one of the coolest looking engines ever put to film.(Pictured below)



Definitely check this film out if you haven't.


4. The Nautilus



By all means the Nautilus is an absolute classic. Within the universe that Jules Verne had created nothing like the Nautilus was never even conceived and the fact that it existed made it a true wonder of the advancement of man. Most versions of the ship are amazing but I do prefer the classic Disney 60's version. Captian Nemo's quarters in that film are breathtaking, complete with large scary organ and a large window to watch sea life as it passes by.


3. The Heart of Gold(The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)



Now look here, if Vogons are aiming their sperm whale cannon's at you, you'll be glad that you have a nice cup of tea(at least I think it's tea) and a reassuring voice from the on board computer. And even though the ship is very relaxing on the inside there are a few problems. Mainly with its primary engine the Improbability Drive that subsequently crosses every point in the universe before dumping you off, hopefully, somewhere close to your destination. Other than that you can just have fun jumping across the galaxy as long as that robot Marvin does get you too depressed. Hey at least the doors are nice.


2. The Second Monolith(2001: A Space Odyssey)



What the Monolith is has been argued over for years. However it can be agreed upon is that it's powerful. I can also understand people saying that the monolith isn't a space ship, but that's where I tend to disagree. Remember Dave's famous line "My god, it's full of stars!" I believe he was experiencing the Universe all at once and what do regular ships do but help you travel and experience the universe around you. Easily this is the most powerful ship on the list and like The Sphere from The Fountain we have no clue to it's origins but if you want to explore the Universe as quickly as you can there is no better way to travel.


1. The TARDIS (Doctor Who)



As if you didn't guess it.

Sure it's a blue police box but the TARDIS is perhaps the second most powerful ship on the list, second only to the Monolith. However with the TARDIS you don't get any of that pesky mind altering experiences, you can take you time and enjoy where you end up. Also the TARDIS isn't just a point A to point B ship but also a time machine making the possibilities even more endless then they where before. Another plus is that you can change the interior to what ever fits you best so that way you don't get bored and surprise friends whenever they come over.

That's my list and I'm sticking to it. Feel free to suggest other ships.

For certain, you have to be lost to find a place as can't be found. Elseways, everyone would know where it was. -Captain Barbossa

I am a huge fan of Watchmen and am really excited about the movie coming out. I really do believe this movie could change how people look at their favorite superheroes and Alan Moore has said himself that yes some of these characters in mainstream comics are insane. Take Batman and put him in the real world and you have a madman running around a citing beating the crap out of people. Anyways all the footage I have seen looks great I really think Zack Snyder has hit it out of the park and thank god he got rid of that giant squid. And so far the marketing has been spot on with that amazing first trailer and even some of the early posters looked like they belonged in this universe.







However the new official teaser poster has been released and I am not a fan. See for yourself.



It looks very bland and considering the fact that its revealing on the most climatic scene in the book and I'm sure in the movie it all looks rather stale. Not to mention the tagline on the poster is god awful. I know it fits the ending theme of the book but on the poster but it's out of place and conveys the message poorly. I'm just disappointed.

Also I wish this was real. I want a good Flash movie so bad I would whore myself out to hobos.



"Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense." -The Comedian

Kevin Smith has his moments but I've never been an avid fan of his outside of Clerks and his stance against the MPAA and censorship in America. "Zack and Miri make a Porno" is Smith's latest outing and a film I am looking forward to, mostly because the concept itself seems really interesting. In the film Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are best friends who decide to make a porno when they are running out of cash. The rest of the film is filled with great character actors and comedians that will fill the film with a strong supporting cast.

The problem though is the ridiculous censorship of this film. First up is the poster fiasco that the MPAA had taken down in the US. The poster depicts Seth Rogen and Elizebeth Banks on the poster and at the bottom of the poster you can see the top of the opposing characters head. Each character is fully clothed and nothing can be deducted from the poster unless you know exactly what's going on.



Well in response Smith submitted a poster that passively aggressively protested the decision by having the new poster have nothing but stick figures.



However just today it was announced by CNN that around fifteen newspapers, several tv stations, and several cable channels are refusing to run adds for the film simply because the word "porno" is in the title of the film. Also there have been complaints about posters in Philadelphia at bus stops and now those posters are being taken down.

I am sick and tired of these uber conservative, uneducated, cum drinkers complaining about shit that doesn't matter because they believe that the word porno will ruin their pitiful, sad minds. The movie is fucking rated R, its not NC-17 and it sure as hell isn't unrated and being shown on Skinamax at about one in the morning. These idiots really think that what they believe is exactly what everyone else should believe and have to rain down their shit stained superiority complexes onto the majority of people that don't give a shit. Things like this just make me sad.

"The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen." ~Tommy Smothers

Since I was a kid I have been a trekkie. I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation years before I ever saw a single Star Wars film. Not to mention I've been an avid watcher of Deep Space Nine and Voyager, but fuck that Enterprise shit. I don't want to see fucking Scott Bakula unless he's leaping from life to life, striving to right what once went wrong, and hoping with each leap will be the leap home.

Anyway's lately Star Trek has gone underground ever since Enterprise went off the air and since the late Eighties a Star Trek tv show or film has not been in production until now. A little while ago production started on the new Star Trek film helmed by Lost creator J.J. Abrams. I don't like that little snot but I am excited about the new film which is accomplishing the trendy reboot fashion statement that is so ever popular with movie studios nowadays.

Also there is the Star Trek MMO coming out by Cryptic Studio's. When I first heard about this game I wasn't really excited because it was being headed by another studio but when Cryptic took over my Trek senses went on Red alert.

I'm just happy that a franchise I love is being reentered into pop culture and in good hands at that.

"Eaten any good books lately?" -Q (to Worf)

Well the big news of the day in at leas my world is the fact that Don Cheadle has been signed on to play War Machine in the next Iron Man film. A role that was held by Terrance Howard in the last film in which I thought he played the role perfectly.

The first Iron Man film was a lot of fun to watch and did a good job in setting up the Avengers film and Terrance Howard made a great James Rhodes. He looked like a military man and someone that could eventually fill one of the Stark armours which of course was hinted at in the first film. On top of the Favreau has already said that War Machine would play a bigger part in the next film. Which brings up the question why change the actors?

Don Cheadle is undeniable a great actor and is one of those human activists that I don't mind so much unlike Tim Robbins, but can he be War Machine. Cheadle has never looked like a military man to me and doesn't have the stature that the character Rhodes has in nearly all of his incarnations. I just don't like the fact their changing actors in the middle of two films that are anchoring the Marvel movie studio's.

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker." -John McClane