I can honestly say that video games have not gotten better or worse in the past forever, different, but overall a game that owned your nuts (or vaginal lips?) 20 years ago will still at the very least tickle your balls (lips) today. Apparently Namco, Midway, and countless other companies that may have fallen back in the past few years caught wind of my views, because no matter where I go, lord knows I will find a collection (or remake) of a classic game.

Now, here's a bit of trivia, for you trivia lovers. What makes Q'bert great? Is it the hundreds of oddly-angled platforms he jumps across, cursing and shitting colors? It's probably because I've yet to see him (you might have) on a game collection. Nor have I seen Q'bert Xtreme 2000, and thank god for that, because seeing games such as Asteroids, Breakout, Missle Command, Rally-X, ect. ect. being ported and "reinvented" over and over again makes me sad.


Some of you may enjoy having Pac-Man (by far the guiltiest of the bunch) on your PC, GBA, DS, PSP, N64, or cell-phone, but to me, having this game so widely stretched out takes something away, something you can't quite put your finger on, which is why I refuse to have Pac-Man for anything more than my good ol' NES (you try affording an arcade cabinet).

Even worse than the ports are the remakes, often for "A WHOLE NEW GENERATION!!!",
these games really bite my bag. It seems whenever anything is remade for a new generation, it either means it's going to have sub-par 3d graphics along with five power-ups and level designs that were so sorely (not) missing from whatever they mutated off of.

There are some games that would serve a remake justice, but not as many as there are, and hardly any of the right ones. Someone kidnap Kojima and force him to remake Metal Gear 1 and 2 for PSP with flashy 3d graphics and voice acting (just have Hayter huff something other than rocks and twigs.)