Microsoft: "Everyone can suck our collective dick, now give us all your money." - destructoid
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Sassafrass McGee says:

Microsoft: "Everyone can suck our collective dick, now give us all your money."

// Submitted @ 10:12 PM on 05.27.2013


Microsoft employee Johnny Soosfoos gave a statement earlier today responding to the general reaction by the media and consumers to the Xbox One, This is what he had to say: "Bitches be hatin' 'cos our new console is da shit, nigga, if you wanna buy a Wii U, go and buy a Wii U, but don't come crying to us when you get bored of playing Super mario 64: The Ocarina of Banjo-Kazooie. Or when you get da puss 4 and it sucks 'cause you can't watch NFL on it or talk to it about your daddy issues. The Xbox one is groundbreaking, it's the first console that watches you 24/7, will the PS4 record you masturbating, and then send the footage to the government? No, it won't. The PS4 will fail because it allows you to play games, you know what else can play games? The NES. No one wants to play games on their games console, that technology is ancient, we belive that watching TV on games consoles is the future. I wish we could tell you more, but we're scheduled to lick EA's collective asshole in 5 minutes, we will reveal more at E3, and by more we of course mean nothing." The following video will tell you everything you need to know:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC0hV3dea9g

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