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8:23 PM on 01.19.2010

I got ripped in 4 weeks (NVGR & Shortblog)



Alright Destructoid,

I don't know about you, but I have had it up to here *point to head* with these petty piece of shit advertising campaigns about how to get ripped in 4 weeks. The before and after shots are...look, don't judge my writing skills based on this small spiel of abuse, but they are fucking retarded. To top it off when I am around retards, I am pretty uncomfortable. I know...O.K, I know. I am suppose to feel bad for them for not having the opportunities non handy cap people have, and to an extent, I do kinda feel bad for the poor guys and gals, but fuck, you can't help but feel a tiny bit uncomfortable when they are attempting to talk to you and all you can notice is how they all look the same.

I think I am going to hell.

But enough of that! Back to the point of this little venomous piff of shit. I have a dick that fucks (although the amount of fucking it does, needs to be worked on), a girlfriend that loves me (I hope) and hands to play video games with (that mostly fuck myself of course). So why do I need to get ripped in 4 weeks!

YOU TELL ME DTOID! ... YOU TELL ME! Because I am this *holds index and thumb close together* close to killing something that breathes because this world is petty as fuck! GOD HELP ME!

P.S - I can already see the fail blog sign ahead, but there is a point to this and I did mention video games in there somewhere. So yeah, I'm sorry if you consider this a waste of time, but what the hell isn't a waste of time these days. The only thing I can think of, is masturbation, because it always has pay off and all you need to worry about is yourself!

Fuck, I hate this place. I'm going to play some Xbox.   read


7:06 PM on 12.21.2009

My Set Up...like...My WHOLE set up



Long time no see Dtoid.

I have a job again and I fucking hate it, but you gotta do what you gotta do. On one of my very few days off I had a situation with some eggs which forced me to get the video camera out and then it led to the following.

While most of you present your set up's in the form of blogs and pics, I have decided to take it one step further and do a little video presentation, and while it may go for a while, it recommend you check it out in its entirety because there are things in this that I'm sure you will all relate to. So enjoy my day off from work and what it caused me to do...

It is unfortunate that any of us have to work coz it takes away from the time you could be doing more productive things, like this:

[embed]158465:25990[/embed]

Enjoy

P.S - I have decided to make a little bit of a series based on the events that I cause throughout my free time and post it up on Destructoid's Refused Classification community post. Up and coming vids will be based on my bronx like home town, the Pyramid Rock Festival where I am bound to take acid and go crazy and a trip around the whole world...I kid you not. So stay tuned, coz I plan on taking a shit somewhere in France, coz its one massive toilet.   read


7:56 PM on 11.12.2009

*SHUNK* My Knife - Your Face



Modern Warfare 2 has minimized the perks from its predecessor and upped the collective of weapons you can dispose of your fellow enemy with. To be fair, there is an amazing selection that makes for extremely balanced warfare. From Sentry turrets to Sniper Rifles, and from Tactical Nukes to the almighty combat blade; to which I have developed a big fat hard on for.

Since the dawn of time, man has loved to produce sharp things to stab and slice things with. Regardless of what belief system you have, it is true. Evolution had the Precambrian Monkey Men smacking rocks into sharp instruments to plant into the skull of some other hairy dude that fucked his food collecting, flare bush of a misses. That, and they also liked to hunt with it, but who cares about civilized killing for procreation?

In the Christian bible the first siblings to ever be given mention; Kane and Able, had a jealousy problem with each other so Kane decided it would be in his best interests to shank his only brother to solve the issue of who God would love the most...obviously the tactic did not work, but the stabbing sure as hell did.

Fast forward to today, the knife has so many uses that they have to put about fifty different kinds into one and call it a Swiss army tool. But if it isn't big enough to see your face in it's reflective blade, then who cares? The following statistics are taken from my favorite custom class, and collectively, they practically make me Sonic the Hedgehog welding knives and guns...on speed.



- Class Name: The Runner

- Title: Impaler

- Primary Weapon: UMP45 Sub Machine Gun with Red Dot Sight: Light and automatic with decent accuracy.

- Secondary Weapon: AA-12 Automatic Shot Gun: Light weight with decent spread for close encounters.

- Special Equipment: Recoverable Throwing Knife: Difficult to use but oh, so satisfying

- Perk 1: Marathon - Unlimited sprinting and fast ladder climbing.
- Perk 2: Lightweight - Quick on my feet and quick aim after sprinting.
- Perk 3: Commando - Can leap further at somebody with a knife and not take damage from falls.



Needless to say, this class was set up for the simple pleasure of being able to run around the map at top speed while sticking my blade into every single opponent that has the unfortunate fate of crossing paths with me.

I am difficult to hit with a sniper rifle, I am hard to catch with a spray of gun fire and by the time an enemy has seen me, I usually have a blade stuck in their face...

I wait for a challenge...bring it mother fuckers, my knife needs to be fed.

[embed]154904:24786[/embed]

P.S - Whatever you do, don't google knife fight...it ain't pretty   read


9:29 PM on 11.10.2009

THAT airport scene...Oh the humanity



Yeah, yeah. I know people. I know that this issue has been talked to death. But I am not here to talk about the level in question (to which I morbidly got great satisfaction from playing). I am here to discuss this issue that is; What the fuck is wrong with everybody?!

Most of the population (including many individuals of Destructoid) have stated that the 'No Russian' section of Modern Warfare 2 is of bad taste and it could have been extracted from the game entirely without weakening the title. All I can say is, put some cement in your breakfast cereal and harden the fuck up.

If you want to argue the point that games are just as much for adults as they are children, you would appreciate the fact that a game developer has gotten the balls to do what most wouldn't even consider after it being brought up by designers in the development stage. Yes, it is difficult to watch given the fact that we are watching innocent civilians being massacred, but last time I checked...These things happen...a lot. I don't know if it is just me, but I am sick to death of the people up on high thinking that the best way to avoid the issues of the world is to pretend they don't even exist. I don't want things sugar coated, I want the bare back truth. Not some collared up, pink polo shirt version of it.



Yes, shit happens and yes, we have the power to either cause it or fight against it, and the fact that Infinity Ward have decided to man up and say "This is what the world can be like so have a good hard look" is something I think most pessimistic fuck heads should consider to be a wake up call more than a Columbine wanna-be simulator for the one in every millionth teenager with stability issues and access to daddy's gun cabinet.

The problem with this World is that most people are so ashamed of what it has become that they believe you are better off without eyes, so you can't see the horror of the shit hole it has become thanks to human nature. Try and remove my eyes and I (as Edward Norton so poetically described), this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho that I am, might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers.



Oh wow...I do have a killer in me after all, as I am sure you do.

P.S - On a more gameristic (I just made that up) note I am so glad I have finished writing this so I can go back to Modern Warfare 2, aside from the menu's, it is one of the greatest gaming experiences I have ever played through.   read


7:58 PM on 09.26.2009

Gaming changed your life?...Oooooook then



This is going to have a little bit more of a serious tone to it because I have been up all night thinking about...life. Now before you all start to facepalm yourselves and think of me as an emo, hear me out because gaming and you, yes you, have a part in this and because of this I want you to try to understand it.

Some people look at certain means of entertainment and write it off their list before they can even comprehend the greatness of it. In fact we all do it. But I didn't come here to piss and moan about everybodies faults. We all have them, so why should I care about what your faults are when I have faults of my own that need sorting out? Perhaps the most fucked up thing about our faults is that we rarely even know what they are. Other people from a distance can make an assessment built up over time, but we as individuals can't for the life of us, change, without being able to safely say, "I am at fault here" or "I need to improve there" and it usually takes a long time for your brain to convince your heart to go ahead with attempting to create a better future for yourself by going through the forced but necessary changes.

I honestly don't know where the fuck I am going with this, but I know the reason I came on dtoid this morning was to make a point. A very important point.

We all go through shit at one point or another and when it happens it is like being put into a blender with a fuck load of doubt, fear and self conciseness. The amount of shit a person goes through in life is irrelevant...but what is relevant, is how the person feels while going through the shit. If somebody is down and out, who are you (and who am I for that matter) to judge the degree in which a person should be pissed of at the world.



I have heard hundreds of people tell me that people are starving on the other side of the world and I should be greatful for what I have and who I have in my life. Fair enough, but if I am going through a bad state the last thing that is going to be going through my head is Keuth Fanarong...or something(My sponsor child from some bum-fuck-nowhere village...thing) and how he has to carry water buckets to the river and back every day. Sure, he's got it bad. But try as I might to give a fuck about Keuth in a time of personal change, my focus is on what is changing around me.

I still don't know where the fuck I am going with this and it probably makes no sense at all.

So where am I going with this Hailey Berry Oscar speech of a blog entry? A good friend of mine is going through some pretty difficult changes at the moment, and while many would consider these changes to be mediocre and not worth giving three fucks about, I consider these changes to be life altering. And anything life altering is serious fucking business.

Tonight while listening, talking and offering my support, I started to think about the times I have had to face myself or a forced act of change without wanting to submit to it. And sure it saddened me a little to think about shit like that, but through thinking about that depressing, wahhh wahhh, Nanbu styled bullshit, I came to a very special and important revelation...

Gaming has gotten me through some fucking HARD times, and it has always delivered. I am this solider once I put in Cod4, I am this driver in Midnight Club:LA, I am this fucked unit tearing others apart with chainsaws on machine guns in Gears of War. And through progressive gaming, film viewings, friendships and writing I got through it all. As have many others, as have probably you.

So, I'd like to tip my hat to gaming and everybody involved in it by saying a big cheers for getting me through the shit in the past and sticking around for the future. (Hope I don't get hit by a car today because it will kind of take away the meaning of this Ricky Lake story).

So, long story short (And I know for a fact you didn't read the whole thing because I wouldn't), thanks guys.



Moses Dillinger

P.S - What the fuck did I just write? And where the fuck did I get that from? ... Eh, I'm going to bed, its 10am now and I have been up since 9am yesterday. So, yeah...bye.

P.P.S - Wait, before I go, you need to see my Dad's opinion of video games, I filmed him and put something together I hope Dtoid will enjoy.

P.P.P.S - Click on the link in P.P.S

P.P.P.P.S - The statement in P.P.P.S is a direct order from the leader of your country...but since most people hate others above them, disregard that and suck cocks.

P.P.P.P.P.S - Add me on facebook here

P.P.P.P.P.P.S - I just had the most amazing piss of my life, and I sat down to take it.   read


5:03 AM on 08.12.2009

dTunes 4



So...I am unfortunately coming to the end of my contribution to dTunes. Which is a shame because I love putting these articles together. But as RonBurgandy2010 has stated, it is always great to pass the baton onto somebody else to share their tastes in music with the rest of the community.

Since the end of the week approaches I figured I would dedicate this day to one of the most beloved gateway bands in the history of music. While it may not seem original to bring them into focus through dTunes, I believe it necessary. They are one of the very few that play the game collectively by their rules.

With little radio play, promotional marketing and over excessive press coverage, there is only one reason these four men have ascended in artistry as well as personal wealth; The creative spark of talented individuals fusing together to form a creation which many have tried to replicate to the same magnitude and failed.

Before I begin this article, just let it be known that the singles released to video are in no way the best material Tool has brought forth. If you want to have a really in depth look into the music they produce, be sure to check out tracks: Eulogy, H, Pushit, Third Eye, Lateralus, No Quater (Led Zeppelin cover), Swamp Song, Jambi and perhaps my absolute favorite tune of theirs; The Patient.



The Early Days

During the 1980s, each of the future members of Tool moved to Los Angeles. Both Paul D'Amour and Adam Jones wanted to enter the film industry, while Maynard James Keenan found employment remodeling pet stores after having studied visual arts in Michigan. Danny Carey performed as a drummer for Wild Blue Yonder, Green Jell˙ and Carole King, and played in the Los Angeles area with Pigmy Love Circus.

Keenan and Jones met through a common friend in 1989. After Keenan played a tape recording for Jones of his previous band project, Jones was so impressed by his voice that he eventually talked his friend into forming their own band. They started jamming together and were on the lookout for a drummer and a bass player. Danny Carey happened to live above Keenan and was introduced to Jones by Tom Morello (Guitarist from Rage Against the Machine), an old high school friend of Jones. Carey began playing in their sessions because he "felt kinda sorry for them", as other invited musicians were not showing up. Tool's lineup was completed when a friend of Jones introduced them to bassist D'Amour. Although Lachrymology was also explained to be an inspiration for the band's name, Keenan later explained their intentions differently: "Tool is exactly what it sounds like: It's a big dick. It's a wrench.... we are... your tool; use us as a catalyst in your process of finding out whatever it is you need to find out, or whatever it is you're trying to achieve."

After only a few gigs, the band was approached by record companies, and only three months into their career they signed a record deal with Zoo Entertainment. In March 1992, Zoo published the band's first effort, Opiate. The EP included the singles Hush and Opiate. The band's first music video, Hush, promoted their dissenting views about the then-prominent Parents Music Resource Center and its advocacy of the censorship of music. The band began touring with Rollins Band, Fishbone, and Rage Against the Machine to positive responses.


Tool - Prison Sex
[embed]143838:21369[/embed]

Undertow

The following year, at a time when alternative rock was at its height, Tool released their first full-length album, Undertow. It expressed more diverse dynamics than Opiate and included songs the band had chosen not to publish on their previous release, when they had opted for a heavier sound.

Tool later played several concerts during the Lollapalooza festival tour, and were moved from the second stage to the main stage by their manager and the festival co-founder Ted Gardner. At the last concert of Lollapalooza in Tool's hometown Los Angeles, comedian Bill Hicks introduced the band. Hicks had become a friend of the band members and an influence on them after being mentioned in Undertow's liner notes. He jokingly asked the audience of 60,000 people to stand still and help him look for a lost contact lens.



With the release of Tool's follow-up single Prison Sex, the band again became the target of censorship. The song's lyrics and video dealt with child abuse, which sparked controversial reactions; Keenan's lyrics begin with: "It took so long to remember just what happened. I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me, but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive." The video was created primarily by guitarist Adam Jones, who saw it as his surrealistic interpretation of the subject matter.

In September 1995, the band started writing and recording their second studio album. At that time Tool experienced its only lineup change to date, with bassist D'Amour leaving the band amicably to pursue other projects. Justin Chancellor, a member of former tourmates Peach, eventually replaced D'Amour, having been chosen over competitors such as Kyuss' Scott Reeder, Filter's Frank Cavanaugh, Pigmy Love Circus' E. Shepherd Stevenson and ZAUM's Marco Fox.


Tool - Sober
[embed]143838:21370[/embed]

Ćnima

This was my gateway album to much of the music I appreciate now. I first listened to this album from start to finish when I was 16 years of age. From that point on it was difficult to see me studying without my diskman tuned into my ears, tapping my pens on the desk and sometimes shutting my eyes while swaying my head in a hypnotized-like state. While most people at the time were off listening to Eiffel 65 and Crazy Town, I was baptized to a new way of listening and in the long run and new way of thinking. This album did more than entertain me for a short period of time and drop off the charts; It literally opened my mind.

But it was long before my awakening on October 1, 1996, when Tool released their second full-length album, Ćnima in Compact Disc format and in vinyl format on October 15, 1996. The album was recorded and cut at Ocean Way, Hollywood, California and The Hook, North Hollywood, California from 1995 to 1996. It was certified triple platinum by the RIAA on March 4, 2003.

The title Ćnima (pronounced ON-ima but who really gives a shit how you say it?) is a combination of the words anima (Latin for 'soul' associated with the ideas of "life force" and a term often used by psychologist Carl Jung) and enema the medical procedure.

The album was dedicated to satirist Bill Hicks, who had died two and a half years earlier. The band intended to raise awareness about Hicks's material and ideas, because they felt that Tool and Hicks "were resonating similar concepts". In particular, Ćnima's final track Third Eye is preceded by a clip of Hicks' performances, and both the lenticular casing of the Ćnima album packaging as well as the chorus of the title track Ćnema make reference to a sketch from Hicks's Arizona Bay, in which he contemplates the idea of Los Angeles falling into the Pacific Ocean.


Tool - Stinkfist
[embed]143838:21368[/embed]

The break between albums and lawsuits

A legal battle that began the same year of the album opening, interfered with the band's working on another release. Volcano Entertainment—the successor of Tool's by-then defunct label Zoo Entertainment—alleged contract violations by Tool and filed suit. According to Volcano, Tool had violated their contract when the band looked at offers from other record labels. After Tool filed a countersuit stating that Volcano had failed to use a renewal option in their contract, the parties settled out of court.



During this time, Keenan joined the band A Perfect Circle which was founded by long-time Tool guitar tech Billy Howerdel, while Jones joined The Melvins' Buzz Osborne and Carey drummed with Dead Kennedys' Jello Biafra on other side projects. Although there were rumors that Tool were breaking up, Chancellor, Jones, and Carey were working on new material while waiting for Keenan to return. In 2000, the Salival box set was released, effectively putting an end to the rumors. The CD contained one new original track, a cover of Led Zeppelin's No Quarter, a live version of Peach's You Lied, and revised versions of old songs.


Tool - Ćnema
[embed]143838:21371[/embed]

Lateralus

This release has been set at the top of my all time favorite albums of all time for quite some time now but it wasn't always so. All the winning elements of classic, gritty and evolutionary artistry from previous Tool efforts flowed into the creation of this 13 track eye opening device but there was so much more beneath the surface that I was unknown to until later on down the track.

In January 2001 just at the peak of my mind alterations from their previous release, Tool announced a new album, Systema Encéphale, along with a 12-song tracklist containing titles such as Riverchrist, Numbereft, Encephatalis, Musick, and Coeliacus. At the time, Tool members were outspokenly critical of file-sharing networks in general due to the negative impact on artists that are dependent on success in record sales to continue their career. Keenan had this to say during an interview with NY Rock, "I think there are a lot of other industries out there that might deserve being destroyed. The ones who get hurt by MP3s are not so much companies or the business, but the artists, people who are trying to write songs."

A month later, the band revealed that the new album was actually titled Lateralus. Rolling Stone wrote in an attempt to summarize the album that "Drums, bass and guitars move in jarring cycles of hyperhowl and near-silent death march... The prolonged running times of most of Lateralus' thirteen tracks are misleading; the entire album rolls and stomps with suitelike purpose."


Tool - Schism
[embed]143838:21372[/embed]

Drummer Danny Carey sampled himself breathing through a tube to simulate the chanting of Buddhist monks for Parabol, and banged piano strings for samples on Reflection.

Disposition, Reflection, and Triad form a sequence that has been performed in succession live with occasional help from various tourmates such as Mike Patton, Buzz Osborne, Tricky, and members of Isis, Meshuggah, and King Crimson.

The title track, Lateralus, incorporates the Fibonacci Sequence. For example, the syllables of the lyrics follow the Fibonacci pattern, and the time signature of the chorus rotates between 9/8, 8/8, and 7/8 time, referring to the 17th Fibonacci number, 987. The theme of the song describes the desire of humans to explore and to expand for more knowledge and a deeper understanding of everything. The lyric "spiral out," which is sung repeatedly throughout the song, refers to this desire and also to the Fibonacci Spiral, which is formed by creating and arranging rectangles for each number in the sequence's 1,1,2,3,5,8,... pattern, and drawing a curve that connects to two corners of each rectangle. This forms a never-ending and infinitely-expanding spiral.


Tool - Parabola
[embed]143838:21373[/embed]

10,000 Days & The Future

The album opener, Vicarious, premiered on U.S. radio stations on April 17. The record followed on May 2, 2006 in the U.S. and debuted at the top spots of various international charts. 10,000 Days sold 564,000 copies in its opening week in the U.S. and was number one on the Billboard 200 charts, doubling the sales of Pearl Jam's self-titled album, its closest competitor. However, 10,000 Days was received less favorably by critics than its predecessor Lateralus had been.



In an interview conducted in May 2007, Justin Chancellor stated that the band would probably continue their tour until early 2008 and then "take some time off". He qualified this statement by adding that the band has already written new material and would surely release another album at some point down the road. A possible project until a next album is to make a band movie, a possibility the band has reportedly considered for a long time. The ideas range from a narrative story in a surreal fashion with as much money and special effects as possible to pockets of all of that or something that's live or the band playing.

On hiatus since early 2008, Tool is expected to begin writing a new album sometime this year, according to Keenan, but no details on a possible release date.

TOOL is:

* Maynard James Keenanvocals
* Adam Jonesguitars
* Justin Chancellorbass guitar
* Danny Careydrums

Former members

* Paul D'Amourbass guitar

Check out their official site (and their hilarious biographies) here.
Support creative artists and buy there albums here.

I recommend checking out:



Tool - Vicarious
[embed]143838:21376[/embed]

Much love Destructoid, I hope I pleased your ear pussies.
Mr Dillinger

P.S - Thank Wikipedia for a lot of the information posted on here. Although I cut it down significantly, applied HTML and reworded some of it. They provided the brunt of the information I fed into you today.

P.P.S - Doubtful that the band will ever read this, but on the off chance that they do, I'd just like to thank em for everything. And when I say everything, they know what I mean.   read


5:01 AM on 08.09.2009

dTunes 3



Alright, so I haven't dished up many balls out, kick you in the face kinds of music as of yet. But I guess that is about to change. Some would think that the following band are a little...full on. I don't disagree and it is because of this that I find myself becoming absorbed in their works.

Metal has taken many forms throughout its progressive creation from the 60's through to now. From Glam to Nu, from Power to Stoner, from Prog to Djent and so on...

Arguably the most recognized Mathcore band to surface from the constantly struggling metal genre, they have traveled to hell and back to stay in the public eye, sell records and destroy stages along the way. I sincerely hope you are ready to have your face kicked off.



For anybody not familiar with them, The Dillinger Escape Plan (sometimes abbreviated DEP or TDEP) is an American experimental mathcore band from Morris Plains, New Jersey. The band originated in 1997 after the disbanding of Arcane, a hardcore punk trio consisting of Ben Weinman, Dimitri Minakakis, and Chris Pennie. The band's current line-up consists of Ben Weinman (lead guitar, backing vocals), Liam Wilson (bass guitar), Greg Puciato (lead vocals), Jeff Tuttle (rhythm guitar, backing vocals), and Billy Rymer (drums, percussion). For those not familiar with the band, this is one of their lighter tunes...


Dillinger Escape Plan - Unretrofied
[embed]143415:21315[/embed]

The Beginning

The band started off playing hardcore punk in piss hole taverns and pubs within New Jersey & New York under the name Arcane. Managed by longtime friend Tom Apostolopoulos and lead guitarist Ben Weinman, Arcane recorded a self-titled demo under the name The Dillinger Escape Plan. Shortly before their first tour under the new name, back up guitarist Brantley left the group and was replaced by Fulton who eventually went on to record on their EP.

The bands elaborate performances, as well as the creative, technical approach of their music led a record executive of Relapse Records to offer the band a multi-record contract. The band agreed to the contract, and shortly after recorded their second EP with Relapse entitled Under the Running Board. Shortly after its release, Fulton left the band over creative differences with the current members.


Dillinger Escape Plan - The Mullet Burden
[embed]143415:21320[/embed]

Calculating Infinity & Irony Is a Dead Scene

Due to the paralysis caused to bass guitarist Doll during a car accident, Guitarist Weinman played both guitar and bass on the album Calculating Infinity, though liner notes credited Doll as providing a great deal of help.

Calculating Infinity was met with great acclaim from both underground and mainstream press, even drawing the attention of former Faith No More vocalist Mike Patton, who asked the band to tour with his Mr. Bungle. Throughout 2000, their notoriously intense shows grew more so, incorporating samples, a light show, fireworks, fire breathing, and other antics. Later that same year, the band parted ways with vocalist Minakakis, whom credited his departure from the band to the rigorous touring schedule.

While the search was underway for a new vocalist, vocal duties were handled by a number of the band's friends, including Sean Ingram of Coalesce and Mike Patton, who agreed to help the band produce an EP. The plan to record with Patton was in place before a replacement vocalist had been found. By the time Mike Patton had recorded vocals and the EP was released, the band had been touring with Minakakis's replacement, Greg Puciato, for nearly a year.


Dillinger Escape Plan - Setting Fire to Sleeping Giants
[embed]143415:21319[/embed]

Miss Machine & Ire Works

On July 20 2004, Relapse Records released the band's first full-length album with Puciato, entitled Miss Machine. It sold 12,000 copies in its first week, becoming their biggest selling release. The album polarized The Dillinger Escape Plan audience; some fans were critical of the band's increasing artistic and musical departures from their earlier efforts, while others preferred them.

Following the controversial release, the band began a two year touring cycle, headlining tours of their own or occasionally providing support for acts such as Slipknot, System of a Down, and Megadeth. The night of August 4, the group played their first show as a four-piece in Indianapolis, Indiana at the Murat Theatre Egyptian Room. According to an article in the December 2007 issue of Decibel magazine, during the Coheed tour, Weinman had briefly quit the band in order to recover from compounding medical and financial problems.

During the time Weinman was apart from the band, Chris Pennie received an offer from Coheed and Cambria to be the band's permanent drummer, on account of their former drummer leaving the band. The band was impressed with Pennie after seeing him live, and decided to make this offer. Pennie accepted, and left the band without a drummer, right before the future recording of their next album. This departure would make Weinman the only original member of Dillinger Escape Plan left.



On June 15, the band announced the title of the album was to be Ire Works, as well as confirming the departure of Chris Pennie. Gil Sharone of Stolen Babies handled drum duties for the album. It was released on November 13, 2007.

Ire Works has been a critical and commercial success, with the album being on many critics top ten lists making it the band's most critically successful album. Allmusic said that "DEP should be careful, or they'll end up the Radiohead of metalcore." The album has also had much more commercial success than previous albums, with the track Milk Lizard being featured on CSI: NY (the episode 'Playing With Matches') and being a constant play on MTV. The single "Black Bubblegum" was played on Late Night With Conan O'Brien.

As of January 2009 the band has parted ways with Gil Sharone and the new drummer is now confirmed to be Long Island drummer Billy Rymer.

On Saturday, February 21, as they played at the Soundwave Music Festival in Brisbane, Australia at the RNA Showgrounds. When some plastic water bottles and cans were thrown at the band, it was turned into a game by DEP, with "25 points for hitting the drummer, 75 for any of us (all other members), and 150 if they could hit the members of Poison the Well standing at the side of the stage."

They also repeatedly joined Nine Inch Nails onstage during the Soundwave 2009 festival, helping them perform the song Wish as part of the last encore song of Nine Inch Nail's live show at the event.


Dillinger Escape Plan - Milk Lizard
[embed]143415:21313[/embed]

The Future

On May 27, 2009, it was reported that the band started their own label, Party Smasher Inc, which is a collaboration with French record label Season of Mist. After having fulfilled their contract with Relapse, The Dillinger Escape Plan will release their fourth studio album in early 2010 through Party Smasher Inc and recorded by Steve Evetts.

Option Paralysis was confirmed as the title of the new album by the singer, Greg Puciato, in a photocopied letter sent by himself to fans who bought a limited edition Dillinger Escape Plan shirt.



Live Performances

I have seen these guys multiple times now and each time they play I am consisting asking myself how it is they don't break their backs or kill people in the crowd. It really is the closest thing you are going to get to witnessing the workings of a abattoir without being employed there. Although DEP go through constant line up changes, it doesn't medicate the insanity created on stage. So much to the point where I personally believe that new members have to sign a contract stating they will not sue for back problems later in life.

Bodies fly off balconies and PA systems into the mosh, equipment gets smashed and thrown into the crowd and the collective loves every second of it. It's like watching Rammstein with balls. I took a female friend along with me to their latest concert and as it came to an end, with a massive smile, a ripped T-shirt and dirt stains all over her jeans she demanded I blast their music in the car on the way home...this was no boganized bush bitch either people, this was the kind of fair lady you would see working behind the desk at a law firm. Not exactly the kind you would expect to get moist from DEP. But moist she became.

If they hit your home town, dedicate a few bucks and go and check them out. They are better than watching a circus full of animals be force fed crack and set to kill their masters in the most brutal of fashions. If you don't believe me check this out and see for yourself.


Meshuggah & Dillinger Escape Plan Interview (Live Snippets)
[embed]143415:21323[/embed]

The Dillinger Escape Plan is:

* Greg Puciatolead vocals (2001–present)
* Ben Weinmanguitars (1997–present)
* Jeff Tuttleguitars (2007–present)
* Liam Wilsonbass guitar (1999–present)
* Billy Rymerdrums, percussion (2009–present)

Former members

* Derek Brantleyguitars (1997)
* Nathan R. Ossmann - vocals (1997)
* John Fultonguitars (1997–1999)
* Adam Dollbass guitar (1997–1999), electronics (2001–2002)
* Dimitri Minakakisvocals (1997–2001)
* Brian Benoitguitars (1999–2005)
* Chris Penniedrums, percussion (1997–2007)
* Gil Sharonedrums, percussion (2007–2008)

Check out the Destructoid Exclusive interview with guitarist Ben Weinman here.
Check out their official site here.
Check out their myspace here.
Support independent artists and buy there albums here.

I recommend checking out:



Dillinger Escape Plan - Panasonic Youth
[embed]143415:21314[/embed]

Much love Destructoid, I hope I pleased your ear pussies.
Mr Dillinger

P.S - Thank Wikipedia for a lot of the information posted on here. Although I cut it down significantly and reworded some of it. They provided the brunt of the information I fed into you today.   read


8:56 PM on 08.08.2009

dTunes 2



While not what you were probably expecting, you have most likely listened to Zimmer's music AND enjoyed it without even realizing. The reason for this is because he composes most big Hollywood cinematic scores.

Creating a musical score for a film is no easy feat. Especially when you are sometimes working with material that is uninspired and unoriginal. There have been many times where I have gone to the movies and walked out thinking to myself that the movie itself was terrible, but the musical score was brilliant. Simply put, without the kind of music this man generates throughout a film, there would be little emotion.

So long story short, he helps turn a terrible film into a average film, an average film into a great film, and a great film into a classic film. Let's take a look at some of the experiences with him in which you would have subconsciously have said, "This is fucking epic!".



Born in Frankfurt am Main, Germany and moved to London as a teenager, where he went to the Hurtwood House school, Zimmer while living in London, wrote advertising jingles for Air-Edel Associates. He began his musical career playing keyboards and synthesizers. After working with The Buggles to create hits like Video Killed the Radio Star, Zimmer partnered with film composer Stanley Myers, a prolific film composer who composed scores for over sixty films. Zimmer and Myers co–founded the London–based Lillie Yard recording studio. Together, Myers and Zimmer worked on fusing the traditional orchestral sound with state-of-the-art electronics.


The Lion King - The Circle of Life
[embed]143390:21285[/embed]
Breaking Solo

During his solo career, Zimmer experimented and combined the use of old and new musical technologies. However, Zimmer’s turning point in his career came later in the year of 1988, when he was asked to compose a score for Barry Levinson’s film Rain Man where in the score, he used synthesizers mixed with steel drums.

A year after composing Rain Man, Zimmer was asked to compose a score for Bruce Beresford's Driving Miss Daisy, which won an Oscar for Best Picture. But it was in 1994, where Zimmer won his biggest commercial hit for Disney’s The Lion King. He used African choirs, which were inspired by his previous film score for The Power of One. The Lion King soundtrack went on to win numerous awards, including an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, and two Grammys. His soundtrack was then adapted for the Broadway Musical, which won the Tony for Best Musical in 1998.


The Dark Knight Trailer
[embed]143390:21282[/embed]
Beyond 2000

After the success of The Lion King, Hans Zimmer wrote numerous film scores. Throughout the 21st century (Which was the biggest mark on Hans Zimmer’s career) he composed film scores for blockbuster hits, such as Gladiator, Hannibal, The Last Samurai, Black Hawk Down, King Arthur, Batman Begins, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Da Vinci Code, The Dark Knight and most recently Angels and Demons.

Today, Hans Zimmer is considered to be the father of integrating the electronic musical world with traditional orchestral arrangements. He is currently in Semi-Retirement, having said that he will compose fewer film scores in the next few years, deciding to focus more on producing.


Kingdom of Heaven Trailer
[embed]143390:21283[/embed]
Personal Favorites

There is no doubt about it, video gaming can be enhanced by listening to this guys tunes.

I have made a specialized playlist out of some of the more frantic tracks taken from The Dark Knight, The Rock, Crimson Tide, Broken Arrow, The Last Samurai and Black Hawk Down specifically to play first person shooters like Modern Warfare, and fighters like Streetfighter IV as well as Samurai Showdown II. It really adds to the experience and I thoroughly recommend anybody who reads this to try it out.

My personal favorite soundtrack of his to sometimes chill out to is The Last Samurai. It has some very relaxing and sometimes over emotive tunes that even the most hardened person would find it hard not to soften up while listening to it.

All in all, I believe that this kind of music is very overlooked which is why I decided to do a piece on it instead of another rock / metal band.


The Prince of Egypt - Parting of the Red Sea
[embed]143390:21278[/embed]

Main Collaborators:

* Stanley Myers – 1982 to 1988
* Harry Gregson-Williams – 1996 to 1998
* James Newton Howard – 2005 to 2008
* John Powell - 2000 - 2010

Check out his official site here.
Check out his discography here.
Check out his myspace here.




Black Hawk Down - Running back to Base
[embed]143390:21284[/embed]

Much love Destructoid, I hope I pleased your ear pussies.
Mr Dillinger   read


7:39 PM on 08.04.2009

dTunes 1



Being from Australia it is only natural that my first of the five musical acts I will be writing up for dTunes, is Australian. I'm not saying that the rest of the world doesn't have artists worth listening to. I'm just saying that not enough people know of some of the killer bands we have here.

Here are a progressive rock band with melodic overtones and a hint of dgent that have worked their way up quickly and gained much respect for doing it their own way, without sucking on the corporate penis to get there, I might add. I have had the pleasure of watching this group mature from a small musical act performing in pubs, to a headlining band performing in sold out, large scaled venues.

They truly are a band that deserve much more attention than they currently have in the world. So lets run through their story in a very brief but detailed manner, shall we?



Karnivool are a five-piece progressive rock group based in Perth, Australia that was formed by Ian Kenny in 1996, who at the time filled the roles of both guitarist and vocalist for the band while they played Carcass and Nirvana covers. Their name stems from the band being initially described by local fans as "a bunch of clowns". Their style of music can be classified as both progressive rock and alternative rock, with alternative metal undertones. Major influences of the band are Nirvana, Radiohead, Meshuggah, Pink Floyd, Tool, Soundgarden and Carcass. Critically hailed as being one of the establishing bands for the Australian progressive rock and metal movement, Karnivool are considered amongst the few in Australia's rapidly growing music industry to still be bringing new and refreshing material to their catalog.


Karnivool's latest single - Set Fire to the Hive
[embed]142784:21134[/embed]
Themata

Their debut album was named after Themata, an old Greek word; the plural of Thema. A Thema is gut assumption or intuition about the workings of the world or life itself, a philosophy you can't prove with hard evidence, but something you instinctively know is right and are willing to back.

Singles released from the album were L1FEL1KE, Shutterspeed as well as the title track Themata itself. Although some (Such as myself) would argue that the highlight of the album definitely goes to its opening track C.O.T.E (Center of the Earth). On a more personal note, Themata has been and will remain high in my favorite ten albums of all time.

In between the recording of albums throughout 2007, the band members worked on different projects but perhaps the most active of the five was lead vocalist Ian Kenny. Whom also recorded and committed to a national tour with his more commercially tuned Birds of Tokyo. He also contributed vocals to hip-hop artist Phrase for the chorus to the Official Halo 3 Anthem known as Face It.


Official Halo 3 Anthem - Face It by Phrase Feat. Ian Kenny
[embed]142784:21135[/embed]

Sound Awake

After returning for the US, and completing their slot in the 2008 Big Day Out, the band headed back into the studio to write their follow-up to Themata. The new songs appeared to have a more mature vibe, but still bore resemblance to the band's other work. The album was one of the most anticipated Australian releases for 2009. The video for the single Set Fire to the Hive, confirmed by the band earlier, was released on the 9 May 2009.

Sound Awake was set to be released internationally in early 2010 however due to internet leakage the band decided to release it earlier than expected. Sound Awake entered and peaked 2nd on the ARIA charts, following this, just over a month after the release the band announced via their MySpace, Sound Awake had gone 'Gold'.

They are set to tour throughout the UK with Skindred later this year.


Dead Man - Performed Live @ The Metro, Sydney, Australia
[embed]142784:21136[/embed]

Live Shows

I have been to see these guys perform more times than I can remember and they have always held up there end of the bargain when I pay for a ticket. There are many bands out there that rely on shock value or big spectacles during live performances to seduce a crowd and win over the live seal of approval. Karnivool are a band that rely on the atmosphere they recreate for the audience.

It really is gift to watch a band perform perfectly, delivering an ambient and entertaining set without the aid of overused sound manipulators and effects or overdrawn visuals that can often complicate a listeners perception of what they should be focusing on.

Of course many of my friends also attend their performances which ultimately adds to the experience. Especially when you all walk away feeling you have witnessed something majestic together.

Definite stand out tracks performed live are: C.O.T.E, Goliath, New Day, Shutterspeed, Roquefort and Mauseum.


Karnivool - Shutterspeed
[embed]142784:21137[/embed]

Karnivool is:

* Ian Kenny – Vocals (also in Birds of Tokyo)
* Andrew "Drew" Goddard – Lead Guitar
* Mark Hosking – Guitar (Revolucion Street)
* Jon Stockman - Bass
* Steve Judd - Drums

Check out their official site here.
Check out their myspace here.
Support independent artists and buy there albums here.




Karnivool - Themata
[embed]142784:21138[/embed]

Much love Destructoid, I hope I pleased your ear pussies.
Mr Dillinger   read


10:44 PM on 08.03.2009

10 reasons why Destructoid should have sex with your Mother



We have a robot for our mascot, hence we shit on everything on the internet without even trying. What Mechwarrior and Neon Genesis started, Destructoid has completed. If you fuck with us, we will fist your anus with a robotic cannon. FTW.



While most commoners believe gaming is for fat losers that don't have lives, we know better. While for the most part it might be true, we embrace the life we have and don't deny that we are part of a different breed of human.

When the second coming of Christ comes upon the world in the form of my first son being pushed out of his mothers vagina, the world will soon come to a shattering end. But we, being the mighty mother fuckers that we are, will be uplifted and loved and saved without repentance.

If you are on Destructoid, you play games. If you play games, you are not welcome in paradise, because you are already fucking in it.

Amen.



While Destructoid is based on gaming, there are many people who use Destructoid as a way of venting about other things in life.

Sexual frustration, 4chan, lack of love, being too pale from lack of vitamin D, music, film, bestiality...the list goes on. Which says one thing...you guys need to know your music better.



No shit people, I don't know the guy that well. In fact, I don't know him at all. But his story on Destructoid is something you could make a B Grade movie from which is more than I can say for our boring ass lives. He is also living proof that with dedication and skill you can be picked up on and given what you deserve.

When I first joined Destructoid, I wrote masses of shit in a very uncaring manner 'What's changed?' some of you will say. It was only I witnessed this video that Mr. Sterling put together telling his story as a coked up Sonic the Hedgehog, thanking Niero and Destructoid, that I thought to myself, "This is what it is all about! And this is a story that has true heart behind it".

As I said, I don't know Jim that well, and I haven't been here that long, but it didn't take me long to learn that his story is one you have to respect, regardless of whether you enjoy his written pieces or not (Don't answer until you read this). You gotta tip your hat to the guy...from being a blogger like most of us to becoming the reviews editor of a successful gaming site. It's a fucken constructive and entertaining story. Write a book, Jim. I'd read it.



Trolls...they enrich our writing and reading lives because at the end of the day; how can we appreciate greatness without first recognizing shit. Much like how a person needs to fail before they can succeed, as a collective we cannot know true art without first establishing ball sweat.

While the internet as a whole has many trolls. Destructoid has a select few.But my personal favorite to laugh at is Kyousuke Nanbu. And I would give you an example of his elite trolling abilities, but all you really need to do is read this, write something he doesn't approve of and then wait for him to make a hypocrite out of himself.

Seriously, Nanbu, you (like every troll before you) are the result of a woman shitting into a toilet and having the sperm from the previous male occupant splash up into her vagina. Sometimes things just happen that we have no say in...9/11, the columbine massacre, Aids...and You.

Time to start writing your paragraphs of overdone insults buddy, I need a laugh.



While many people believe blogging to be a waste of time. Niero has proved otherwise. The following has been copied and pasted from Destructoid's own history because I couldn't be fucked writing it into my own words due to it being explained well enough here:

The company began as a one man blog: It was Yanier Gonzalez's childhood dream to run a hardcore video gamer's club -- a dream later revived when at he was denied entrance to the E3 press conference in 2006 because he wasn't one of the press. Using "Niero" as his pen name, Yanier created a critical blog overnight with indie programmer Tom Lackner's new ElephantBlog software that dared to call out rampant, misleading PR in games media -- picking up an instant readership at the height the HD gaming boom. The site's popularity soared when it began biting the hands that fed it, protesting "stuffy games journalism" at the event by showing up in a giant robot helmet as "Mr. Destructoid" (now the Destructoid mascot). With a solid readership and a memorable brand to boot the company opened an office to turn its sights on better serving the gamer community at large, and the rest is history.

What a story of success. To go from what most of us do on here to living a life supported by it. It truly is a dream being lived.



Lets face it, wherever there is money, there are suits with dollar signs for eyes and contracts demanding you let them fuck your anus for more cash. Trust me, I shamefully work at EB games and I see the anal raping first hand. It is like watching a wolf in sheep's clothing woo the Ewe into presenting, then watching the Ewe get ripped apart while a bunch of other wolves come out and start an animalistic bukakke in praise of the rape at hand.

While Destructoid is a site which obviously makes money. Money has always seemed to be a distant second in the listing of what is important to the overall feel of Destructoid. These guys know what they are talking about and have a true love for what it is they are involved in. They don't just love their gaming but they love their community. And it is obvious because they don't sit up high above the community with a god complex demanding we choke on their dicks and drown in their vagina's.



No matter how serious a post is, there is always an element of fun behind it. It doesn't take long to pick up on the overall feel of Destructoid, and the writing from everybody becomes part of that overall collective humor. In the short time I have been here I have witnessed multiple comment wars, drunk blogs, personal opinions and much useless information written in a constructive and entertaining manner.

Most people log on to the internet to check their facebook, myspace, twitter or whatever retarded social structure of digital masturbation they have going on to keep their closed off lives fulfilled with 'friends'. Destructoid has pretty much come to be that for me. And it is because it never tries to take itself too seriously and always has the same advice at the end of the day, which is STFUAJPG. Great advice.



I don't know about the rest of you, but I find myself writing about video games nearly as much as I play them. Which I never thought could be possible. Possibly the greatest thing about video game journalism is the dedication its readers have to the cause and the strong opinions they have towards it.

It is very rare that you will have somebody Neutral in a discussion to do with gaming and because of this, it creates great feedback which a community can become involved in. Given, some blogs you put effort into don't get the recognition you would have expected or would have personally liked. But at the end of the day, who gives a shit. Writing has always been more about putting down onto paper Or in this case onto a digital document what is in your heart and your head. The aftermath, being people giving the thumbs up or down and an explanation into why they feel like they do about your thoughts, is an interesting process.

In the end, I just love to write, and Destructoid makes that easy for me to do with readers that contribute their thoughts, retarded or not.



There are plenty of video game related websites around. I remember becoming a member of IGN in 1999 when it was smaller than Destructoid. Somewhere along the line, being a member meant you were a customer and it was around that time that I walked away.

The collective that makes up Destructoid is where the greatness comes from.

I have been around the internet like a cheap hooker. Whoring myself out to see if anybody notices and what I have come to realize and love about Dtoid is that even if you write something, the feedback is genuine Unless of course you are a fuckwit that writes shit.

I have noted on several occasions that I thoroughly enjoy the community here at Destructoid. At one end we have a group of talented professionals who are payed to run the site with a consistently entertaining flow of news feeds, reviews and personal opinions to bite. At the other end, we have cyber-abortions like Kyousuke Nanbu flooding the veins of the internet with uninformed, untalented babble that makes Eminem look like Shakespeare. And of course, what comes in between is you. The reader, the writer and the contributor, whom makes places like Destructoid have a much more personal aspect to them.

Most Destructoidians have different reasons as to why they write what they do, but at the end of the day it is a process which they have taken time out of their lives to put something up for the rest of the collective to check out and hopefully enjoy. In particular, the Cblog Recaps and Hamza's highlights prove that there is a community there and if you write something that is worth while, it will get the attention it deserves. Hell, even if you write a pile of shit, you will get a collective mention in the fail blogs.

I have been topsaused, failblogged and mentioned a few times and while most people on here would have no idea who the fuck I am, the idea that there is a group of people committed to putting out there for others, the collective works that are worth reading for better or for worse, is an idea that brings us together and makes writing worth while.

Cheers Destructoid, you can fuck my mother anytime!

P.S - Not to ruin the article with spam, but if you could contribute some questions to the Australian Destructoid Podcast, it would add to the whole unity shit that I was talking about. UNITY MOTHER FUCKERS! Unify or get the fuck away from me!   read


12:02 PM on 07.24.2009

I, the Author: I feel the need...


It was my first trip to the States and I didn't know what to expect. Things weren't going so well for me back home and I felt the best thing for me was to just vacate for a while, so vacate I did. I had gotten into trouble a while back, while behind the wheel in a legit race I became responsible for the death of my navigator, best mate and above all, my brother. While the accident reoccurred in my mind time after time the chargers inflicted on me by the law weren't enough to stop me for getting my travel Visa and head overseas while I attempted bury the past and find my place in the world anew.

My Visa soon expired and the plane was waiting to take me home, but I wasn't on it. I was enjoying the life I had just gotten started properly. So without a working Visa, I needed employment that would keep me off the grid. No bank accounts and no social security numbers. With my previous experience with working on cars it didn't take me long to snap up a decent cash paying job in a custom auto repairs and mods shop near the East Coast about a hundred miles north of the Mexican boarder, in a small town called Lamar. It was low key but it had a large dedicated clientele due to the excellent service as well as the under the counter kinds of work that most of the bigger auto chains would stray away from due to the repercussions they would have to deal with if caught out by the man. I guess that's why they didn't mind paying me in cash, and they payed well.



I had started to build some acquaintances through the auto shop though I usually kept to myself and out of trouble. The last thing I wanted was to be deported back home. Most of the people I got to know were young guns looking for export rides or parts which our shop excelled in. Many of them left the shop content, so it was only natural that we would see them again with a smile on their face and a few wads of cash in their hands. Being from Australia where the street racing scene was practically dead it never crossed my mind to think about what they were up to, but I was soon to find out.



I came in to the garage on a Sunday when nobody was in, to work on a ride I claimed. It came in as a wrecked BMW M3 GTR which everybody looked at with sorry eyes as if looking at a dying animal struggling for life but where most people saw a dead horse, I saw a sleeping Pegasus and I made it my personal mission to make it fly again. After months of my own personal time and money, it was where I wanted it to be. With the exterior and interior complete, all that it needed was to be driven in for the first REAL time.



I started the engine, it's rumble echoed in the garage, giving me goosebumps. I thought of putting some good tunes on but the thought quickly left my mind after listening to the music this car made as I put my foot down onto the accelerator in neutral. The remote garage door started to open as I rolled toward it, peaking the engine as I came to a stop. I was ready to throw it into first gear and send myself shooting onto the road when there, in the middle of the driveway, was this girl sitting in her hot red Mazda RX8.



My dreams of christening my new ride were quickly shattered however when I found out this AMAZING woman was an undercover police officer from the Rockport Police Department. Her name was Mia and she was quick to tell me that she has had her eye on me for some time, knows my history back home and is willing to grant me an extended Visa, maybe even permanent citizenship, if I agree to assist her in what she called the Rockport street racing lock down. I had to work my way into the heart of Rockport's top street racers known as the Black List 15, earn their trust through the rep I earn on the street and help Mia shut it down from the inside. Of course there was always more to it than what was first agreed upon. While I considered her offer quite appealing it quickly got a bad taste to it when she informed me that other authorities, including her own personal weren't to know of my involvement to avoid it leaking onto the streets. Which meant that it wasn't until I got the job done that she would vouch me a Green Card. This in turn left me with very few options to pick from;

1: Disagree, get deported
2: Agree, get caught by police, get deported.
3: Agree, all goes to plan, get some piece of mind knowing I did something good, possibly get deported.

None of these were great options but the latter proved to be the one with the most potential. So I agreed, closed up shop, explained to the boss I wouldn't be in for a while and left.This occurred just as I finished crossing the Lyndon B Johnson Causeway to enter Rockport:
[embed]141033:20870[/embed]
I considered myself lucky and knew that if I was going to avoid the cops, I would need to get myself a navigator. Sure it seemed like a cheap way to ride in the underground, but having a wing man is better than finding myself in a situation where I would be getting bagged and tagged back to Australia. I got a long distance call card and used a public phone to contact my last and probably only good friend back home, Dish. He was stoked to hear from me and found the situation I was in to be quite humorous. Despite the fact he was stacking his chips for a new ride back home, he decided to put it on hold and fly up to assist me.



With Dish with me, I was able to relax and have a lot more fun with the whole endeavor. We worked our way up through the nobodies quite fast until it came time to race the first of the Black List racers, a smug prick named Razor, who, according to the word on the street, had been eying my car off for some time now. This was not good considering I had to put my ride on the line to race against a Black List racer. But it didn't worry me too much because Mia had also worked her way into the scene, but that wasn't hard for her to do with her amazing looks a persona. She was always in the background, watching over me and looking incredibly good in the process.

It was time to race Razor, and I was ready...or so I thought.
[embed]141033:20895[/embed]
The race started off well enough, I had gotten the jump on him by letting him shift first and getting a good four meter lead. Traffic was an obstacle that would have been better off removed from the streets but I was always told by my brother that the obstacles can be used against others on the road. Razor had a lot more horse power in his ride, meaning that he could gain easily if given enough straight road to do so. I needed to keep him weaving to limit his throttle, thereby cutting off his chances of getting ahead of me. It was all going well, I had lost the lead in the industrial estate but regained in through the city run. I was coming to the final straight run and I knew this is where it would come down to a hairpin finish...but then my car started to stall, I quickly focused on my on-board computer to observe the problem but it was all going to shit. My ride came to a stop, Razor shot past me and through the finish line only a few hundred meters up.

I lost my ride and my rep, but I knew that they had messed with my car. Mia wasn't happy but she knew it wasn't my fault. So she hooked me up with a place to lye low.
[embed]141033:20896[/embed]

I got myself a new ride and worked my way up the ranks with Dish, with each win I would attain a pink slip for a new ride that I would either keep for myself or sell off and use the money to mod my other rides. After months of paint swapping in street racers and write knuckle gripping during police pursuits I had built myself up to the number two spot on the Black List. Razor was all that stood between me and a citizenship in the U.S with the sweetest ride I had ever put together and the fact that he had it to get to where he is now, infuriated me.



The choice of race was up to me, and what better way to win back what was taken, then to succeed where I had once failed through no fault of my own. We went head to head on the same run I had previously lost my car in. On top of that, I figured it would only be justice if I was to knock him off the podium using the car he originally used to take mine. Everything played out as it did before, only this time it was to my advantage.

I knew the run, and I knew how to win...so win I did.
[embed]141033:20897[/embed]

It was time for me to vacate. There was no way I could stick around here anymore, even with Mia vouching for me I wouldn't be able to drop the label of most hunted street racer around. After evading the 5.0, I stopped at the safehouse one last time. Mia was there, looking quite inviting...



So in the end, Mia and I shagged which was a reward on its own...words couldn't describe the things she could do with her tongue. In the end she couldn't get me a Green Card, not with all the shit I stirred up in the Rockport Police Department. We kept in touch and she came to Australia to visit me and in the end we got married anyway. So I was able to gain citizenship in the States the proper way after all.

Mia and I now work undercover for the L.A.P.D and are currently trying to break our way into a Street Racing syndicate known as the Midnight Club. I'll let you know how that one goes.

Keep in touch.   read


1:03 AM on 07.22.2009

Sam Raimi to direct WoW film!

You heard it here first people...well, maybe. News is that the original king of horror and Spiderman film's has confirmed that he will direct the up coming World of Wafcraft movie. The following was taken from Slashfilm.com:



Sam Raimi, director of Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, the Spider-Man films, has signed on to direct a big screen adaptation of World of Warcraft, Blizzard Entertainment’s massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG). The scoop was first reported by AICN and later confirmed by Variety, who also reports that The Dark Knight producer Charles Roven is also on board. The current plan is for Raimi to supervise the development of the movie and to begin production after Spider-Man 4.

“At its core, ‘Warcraft’ is a fantastic, action-packed story,” Raimi said in a statement.

The game was first introduced in 1994, and now has more than 11.5 million monthly subscribers. Legendary Pictures has been developing the film project for a few years now. 300 producer Thomas Tull revealed at BlizzCon 2007 that the film would have a budget of over $100 million and was to be set one year before the events of WOW.

“We’re going to be looking for someone of Zak Snyder (300) or Chris Nolan (The Dark Knight, Batman Beings) caliber,” said Tull who revealed that the company is aiming for a PG-13 rating. “I can tell you that this is the one thing about running a studio and making these things that’s hard. You want to not compromise and have the right level of intensity. The story and the director’s vision is what’s ultimately going to dictate that. Personally one of my favorite movies of all time is Lord of the Rings, which has a PG-13 rating.”



At the time WOW players balked at the mention of a PG-13 rating, but this was before The Dark Knight broke that mold. I’m not sure how much of this is still relevant to the project considering Tull was also touting a 2009 release, and that obviously never came to pass.

I’ve never played World of Warcraft, and I have never quite understood the obsession with the game. I can tell you that I have lost friends to the fiction online world of fantasy, so it must be good. Having Raimi on board as director certainly makes me a lot more interested about the film adaptation. We all know how the movie would have looked with Uwe Boll in the director’s chair — probably something not even as good as Dungeons and Dragons.

PS - Listen to the Refused Classification podcast tonight to hear about it in a bit more detail. And ask some fucking questions!   read


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