I have been on Destructoid for a little and have grown to really love it's community. I love to write articles on gaming and I find it easy to do with Destructoid. I am currently studying a Bachelor Degree of Communication (Journalism), so that one day I can hope to do this professionally.
While studying I jump from job to job like crazy because I don't want to do anything but write, and while that may sound reckless, I assure you that I really couldn't live any other way if I tried.
I just want to say thanks to everybody involved with Destructoid including every reader, community blogger and contributor. It really is an amazing place in the digital, shit infested swamp lands of the internet.
I am a proud member of the Refused Classification panel also consisting of Destructoid members Puppy Licks and DanMazkin, which brings to the plate a fortnightly Destructoid only podcast and soon to be video content which will also be featuring guest appearances from gaming celebs such as the Masterchief.
I also write on Stereotoid; a weekly shift in the Earth's crust where the greatest music from all time seeps forth and pushes its way into our ears then forces us to write about it through mental fuckism. If you understood that, then well done.
P.S - One day I will write for Destructoid...That's right Niero! I'M COMING FOR YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
Not sure if things work as they once did here on Dtoid. Jim Sterling has left to work at The Escapist. I'm quite certain my very first blog here was me being a dick about how Escapist allows it's content to be full of shitty, fucked course language but did not (at the time) allow for comments to include any vulgarity, which resulted in me getting banned. Three times.
Times have changed. Jim has culled me from his Facebook friends list, where once I was the guy who nearly got hired by Destructoid to work with them officially in Australia. The story is probably quite familiar with the staff at the time. A guy that could have jumped on board with his favourite website covering his favourite interactive medium. I had been working with friends to do an unofficial Destructoid exclusive podcast for Australia, do group blogs reviewing music with the Stereotoid boys and exchanging ideas with Niero, oh and Hamza also asked me nicely to change my avatar at the time; a close up shot of an actual hair encrusted arse hole (I felt it summed me up well). It wasn't a photo my arsehole though. I may be a blogger but I don't stick a camera an inch away from my anus, take a photo and check to see if I got the sphincter in frame, centred and in the right light.
But yeah, I got picked up by Destructoid a while ago to write for them, officially. I fucked that one up because some lads running a website database for game cheats and walkthroughs got in touch with Destructoid via email. Asked if they'd like to team up, join forces and rule the world... something along those lines. Unfortunately the email got sent through to all the staff writers and contributors as well (me being one of them), to which I took it upon myself to speak on behalf of most people who enjoy games without having them spoilt or ruined. This was before Dark Souls existed so I was pretty petty about the whole thing. In the email I sent back, I went on to explain how cheats and walkthroughs had shat on my gaming experiences and I used Turok 2 on the N64 as an example. Back in 99 my friend and I battled weeks to get through each level until Hyper magazine released the cheat codes. After that we were finished and bored of the game before the day ended... except for using the cerebral bore. I then went on to say that I don't really respect what they do and that gaming would probably be better off without them. You can imagine this shit didn't really float well with the guys. I honestly thought the email was a spam request that Destructoid must have gotten dozens of a day. Obviously I was wrong but fuck it, we're all wrong some times.
Since stopping my blogs here quite some time ago, I went on to write for a number of publications and websites. All had either crashed out or been shit to start with and never grew much from that. I guess you could say my writing skills reflect that, for which I write for but it's hard to write honestly when you're told what to write and how to write it. I came back a year or so later to check up on dtoid to see the liking and commenting section had been revamped and because of this, all the original comments from before the revamp got wiped. May not be a big deal for many people but half the reason somebody writes something is to see what it engages within others. Pretty sure half the people I spoke to on Destructoid, I met through doing that. Blogging and responding.
I have no idea why I'm writing this. Just thought I'd come back to see if anybody remembers good ol' Mr shit starter. If so, I may just have to write something else again some time. If not, then the least I can do is say sorry to the Dtoid boys for fucking with the mix and not carrying through where I probably could have. I won't suck your dicks too much though since I've already stated 10 reasons why Destuctoid should have sex with your mother. Love ya, guys.
Album: Diamond Eyes Artist: Deftones Label: Warner Bros Released: May 18, 2010 Genre: Win Sounds like: A living, breathing, screaming Pablo Picasso painting of two lovers acting out the karma suitra in one big act of passion and then stabbing each other while flying through a red sky filled with shooting stars
Change is something that many of us fear. We grow comfortable with things and when they are altered then we have to alter ourselves in one way or another to suit. Deftones have done something I never thought possible with their up and coming album, Diamond Eyes - in that they have progressed a great deal while keeping to the format which their fan base was firmly built upon.
From its opening track of the same name, Diamond Eyes is evident of change for the better. While borrowing lightly from temp altering bands such as Meshuggah through using eight string electrics, it still manages to stay well in a league of its own through ambient effects, catchy choruses but mainly through Chino Moreno's vocals which can snap between euphoric and chaotic almost instantaneously without losing the overall presence of a particular track. Because of this the album has beautiful flow and can easily be played in its entirety without wearing thin in its listening.
The digital melodics from White Pony's lighter side have returned and matured to a level unsurpassed in tracks Beauty School, 976-Evil and Sextape which quite simply make me want to go back and fall in love for the first time with Diamond Eyes playing in the background. Usually aggressive and single minded, few metal bands I have encountered can bring out this type of emotion with lasting effect. Keeping true to their metal roots, the band flip the table in tracks Royal, Prince and especially the mosh worthy Rocket Skates which cuts into melodics with scalpel like precision to insert chunky riffs and ear numbing screams leaving intelligent aggression open to the interpretation of any listener - it is set to become a future anthem for metal clubs globally.
Music video for the first single of Diamond Eyes: Rocket Skates
What puts this album on the pedestal is its sexually fueled overtone, which no Deftones album would be complete without. Individuals with the interest of putting together a set list to fuck to would be wise to take note of the flirtatiously repetitive construction written into some of the bands greatest collective works; You've seen the Butcher and Risk, which work as the foundation for what rest of the album builds itself around and the final result is a definite landmark for both the band and the genre they represent.
1. "Diamond Eyes" 2. "Royal" 3. "CMND/CTRL" [i]4. "You've Seen the Butcher"
5. "Beauty School" 6. "Prince" [i]7. "Rocket Skates"
8. "Sextape" 9. "Risk" 10. "976 - EVIL" 11. "This Place Is Death"
Look, this is going to sound quite perplexing but you have to understand that one does not will to dream things. Dreams are retarded...I'm sorry but they are. They mostly have no direct meaning so you have to analyze the piss out of them and try find a meaning. Well, help me Destructoid, if you will. This was my dream...and I need it analyzed.
I got a phone call, Hamza was on the other end. Now don't ask me why, but it was one of those dreams that shows things from other people's perspectives too. So I was able to know it as Hamza because it showed him talking to me on the phone, he was wearing a yellow t-shirt too. If it didn't, I would have had no fucken idea it was the big H because I've never spoken to the guy in my life (Which begs the question: Was his voice in my dream accurate?).
Anyway, the phone call went on and the conversation went a little bit like this:
Hamza: Hey man, it's Hamza from Dtoid
Me (amazed): Dude! How are ya?!
Hamza: Not bad, but lately I've had this feeling you want to kill something (This is no shit what he said)
Me (shocked): What makes you think that?
Hamza: I dunno man, you just seem like a crazy cunt! (He had this crazy arse smile on his face)
Me: Yeah well, can't say I haven't thought the same about you. I've heard things!
Hamza: Most of it is true my friend, most of it is true (laughing)
Me: So what the hell are you calling me for anyway?
Hamza: There's a spot in Destructoid open, you want in?
Me (Stunned): Really?
Hamza: Nar man, I'm just fucken with ya! I gotta go, but take care!
Me (Semi-laughing): You're a funny man...I'm going to kill you when I come over to the States.
Hamza: Bring it you crazy Australian rapist! BRING IT! (Laughs Hysterically)
Then the dream jumped to my old grandparents house and there was a new freeway being build right out the front and my grandfather and I were laughing coz he just sold the house to some dickhead.
Then somehow my dream jumps from that to me sitting in a hot tub naked, with two hot chicks and Hamza (I was kinda glad my grandfather had vacated the dream at this point)... Yes, I know that is fucken weird which is why I am asking you all to help me figure it the fuck out.
Album: White Pony Artist: Deftones Label: Maverick Released: 06/20/2000 Genre: Nu-Metal Sounds like: A digitally modernized version of The Cure at their peak
Being a pessimistic 26 year old, it's hard to take a look at the up and coming youth of today with disgust without realizing that the young adults back in my prepubescent days would have viewed me with the same disregard.
From my understanding it seems that the minority quickly become the majority in the hopes to find their place in the world. Smirking packs of individuals in tight black jeans, blinding fringes and sleeve tattoos that mostly hold no meaning other than to just look good...it's like watching a Michael Bay film consisting of all the wrong stereotypes, but then again, what is the right stereotype? But back when I was discovering the full advantages of masturbation when I really should have been endeavoring on the opposite sex in its ripest form, I was also opening my ears to the Nu-Metal scene, but then again, who the fuck wasn't? Korn, Limp Bizkit, (hed) PE, System of a Down and so on, but most importantly (in my opinion)...Deftones.
Digital Promo for White Pony (Warning: Contains burn victims having sex...which is awesome!)
Hard to believe that it has been a decade since its release but White Pony presented the world with a different sound during the hype of Nu-Metal, which ended as quickly as it came. So much so, that many refused to label Pony under the late 90's sub genre for the listening of juvenile delinquents wearing baggy jeans and backwards hats, but being the band that they are, Deftones didn't want to be anything but. Somewhere within these short sited skaters and rockers was an element of depth and the band produced an art form that spoke to it.
Addictive guitar threats open what builds through smashing snare cracks into an opening track that is second to none in terms of demanding attention; Feiticeira. Catchy yet some-what progressive it is a testament to what is to come throughout further listening in other highlight tracks, such as the mass of decibels and distortion that is Elite and the euphorically erotic Digital Bath. The album then takes a different form in the heart rising RX Queen, the somehow nostalgic Change (in the house of flies) and especially the eerie electrics of Knife Prty which are...quite simply put; songs that make a couple of strangers want to fuck. To top it off the production work is perfectly balanced somewhere between polished and raw and is cut together / mastered by none other than Terry Date, who has worked with so many A List bands he has become a house hold name. Throw in a masterpiece; Passenger (Featuring Tool / A Perfect Circle vocalist Maynard James Keenan), and in my opinion you have one very worthy serving on music that is indeed worth respecting if not enthralling.
Studio Rehearsal of 'Elite'
Look, I know I sound bias and some of you may think this album is a piece of shit. But having sold millions of copies world wide, assisting in many orgasms (mine included) and hitting mainstream charts while still remaining respected within the independent music community...I think you'd be wrong.
I usually save this space for writing about gaming and all its wonder. However, lately I have been focusing on music a little more because my side job of contributing to a street press mag presents me with some wonderful opportunities to offer my some-what professional opinions to the masses of the retarded Australian state, Victoria. Hopefully you don't mind and if you do, then click back on your internet browser and save my words for people who give a shit.
Album Review: Rob Zombie - Hellbilly Deluxe #2
The latest single: Sick Bubblegum
Some will tell you that there is no limit to the artistry an individual can possess. If that is the case than the busy Mr. Zombie must be one of those rare individuals who’s drawing closer to his artistic end. Not only because his latest effort is an attempt to regain past glory through a deemed ‘sequel’ of a classic release, but because it just doesn’t live up to the glory of its predecessor.
While fans will be pleased with Zombie taking time out of his current film making routine to deliver a much anticipated album, many will be knocked back with the obvious lack of artistic merit within the package. Repetition was something that achieved massive results with the original Hellbilly Deluxe due to the amount of effort put in to giving it an adrenaline fed sound causing listeners to put their foot to the floor while driving along in their car or take their significant other to the bedroom and have it play in the background. Gone are these urges due to lack of build within the musical arc throughout most of the album.
Repetitive background drumming efforts are apparent throughout two thirds of the album, only picking up speed to differentiate it from one track to the other. The same can be said about the electrics, samples as well as vocals, making each track sound identical to the last. The albums only real saving grace is in its attempt to salvage something different for a listener in its closing track The Man Who Laughs, with authentic string symphony samples keeping pace throughout some hefty guitar licks and an experimental drum solo which starts to wear thin soon after it starts due to it laying down a bloated foundation that nothing else builds upon.
This effort was something I feel Zombie felt forced to do in between more important artistic opportunities - A shame really, because this is the business that built him up to begin with.
I badly wish he would bring out another album to throw on throughout coitus. My copulation playlist is starting to get old...your suggestions, if you will.
Being a citizen of Australia its rare we get the opportunity to see many great things. It costs too much for bands to come out this far and we only have a few capital cities to cater for. However when a band does make the effort to come down, we embrace it far more than any of you foreigners would! A few days ago I was treated to witness Mastodon...and all I can say is, fuck!
I write for a music mag on the side and what reviews I put up there, I've decided to share with you lovely bunch of awesome guys n gals. So if you have a keen ear for good music then read on.
Mastodon - Live @ The Palace - Melbourne, Australia
Opening track - Oblivion - Music Video
Being musically bias effects the way a person will listen to a certain selection of music. You put an avid Celine Dion fan in front of a band like Mastodon and odds are you are going to have a disappointed listener. It’s a shame really because without having an experimental ear, one misses out on worlds of talent. Having said this, I will shamefully admit that before tonight I knew much about the band but listened very little to their music. Something I now substantially regret.
The night began subtle enough with the usual cigarette and beer amongst the naturally pleasant congregation of bearded and/or inked souls wearing black with lady friends to suit, bringing the male to female ratio in at around 2:1…which in my experience was a lot more varied compared to assorted metal gigs of the past. Indeed, the collective here had full intentions to give Mastodon the reception they deserved to make up for the apparent lukewarm response given when backing Slayer years back.
After sound and lighting were complete doing a very thorough and untimely but necessary check, the room dimmed and the eager crowd sprang to life with fists in the air. The slightly psychedelic lighting brightened to reveal Kelliher with guitar in hand electrically introducing the opening track Oblivion. All band members followed in tight succession while building consistently throughout largely progressive verses and acutely fitting melodic choruses. After blasting through the walls with equally impressive renditions of Divinations and Quintessence a double electric guitar was brought out to execute and maintain a definite highlight of the evening; a very epic delivery of The Czar, and as promised at The Big Day Out, without even stopping to speak, the band played through their forth full length and most recent album Crack the Skye in its entirety.
After a very eerie intermission with gothic like lighting and an intensive organ performance, the four returned to the stage to please long time fans with the escalated execution of anthems taken from their debut album Remission as well as critically acclaimed Leviathan and Blood Mountain. With the noticeable change in sound throughout their catalog, came a noticeable rise in energy from both onlookers and performers; with arched backs, guitars and drum sticks raised high and all four voices bellowing to the ears of those assembled. It was easy to spot that the band genuinely love being on stage as an extremely ecstatic female devotee was invited to join them and express her love for the band by what seemed to be imitations of an epileptic love doll executing cartwheels and hugs throughout perfectly staged presentations of Iron Tusk and March of the Fire Ants bringing the eventual close of the evening.
Having not listened to much of the harder progressive metal of the past, an experimental ear for the stubborn can only be attained through talented gateway band - what I learnt this evening was that Mastodon is one of these. Flawless.
P.S - Check out their website on acid, if possible