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Hello there! I don't know about you, but my favorite part of Destructoid, besides Holmes articles, are the community and what do they have to say. The articles are fine and enjoyable, and the videogame news and oddities are a fun entertainment, but the true meat and bones of the Dtoid experience is hidden in the barely functioning disqus comment system. So here are a few of my favorite comments of the week, devoid of context, poorly edited and in beautiful .jpeg format. Enjoy!


Capitulo Uno: Yo he visto a su madre, es bastante real.
From: http://www.destructoid.com/outrage-culture-is-pretty-silly-278665.phtml



Capitulo 2: Cuando hablamos de Yoshi y sus problemas de confianza.
From: http://www.destructoid.com/admit-it-you-re-a-yoshi-ditcher-279816.phtml



Capitulo 3: No se donde esta la biblioteca, DEJA DE PREGUNTAR.
From: http://www.destructoid.com/hackers-now-taking-credit-for-xbox-live-outages-280115.phtml#disqus_thread



Capitulo 4: Slowpoke usa Confusion, es muy eficaz!
From: http://www.destructoid.com/what-the-hell-did-the-pok-mon-channel-just-upload--280003.phtml



Capitulo Final: La venganza del enorme miembro del Senor Andy Dixon
From: http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/OpiumHerz/after-being-huge-for-one-year--279960.phtml#disqus_thread



And we are done!

Wasn't that fun? Love you guys and gals and keep making Dtoid such a great community. From now on I'll be saving my favorite comments and sharing them with the world, SO BE CAREFUL, I'LL BE WATCHING.

ALWAYS.
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My uncle may not work at Nintendo but I'm known for my PSI Powers and irrefutable arguments. I have been sending telepathic messages to Sakurai every night and I finally got the response I wanted. But just so you non-believers can bow in sorrow, despair and joyous self-mutilation I'll share with you honey bunnies the reasons why I (AND ONLY ME) convinced Sakurai to put Kumatora in Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and for Wii U and how my conversations with him went.

First some context
So, um, you may not know who Kumatora is. No, no. Its fine. She is a main character from a Japan only released game called Mother 3, aka the sequel to Earthbound. Here she is:



And here is her sprite art:


She can do all kinds of cool stuff. She can shoot fire, thunder, ice and freaking starstorms, she also can cause paralysis, sleepiness and brainshock on enemies. Oh, and she fights using Gloves, as in with her hands. Punching monsters. In the face. In front of other monsters, must likely that monster's wife and kids. Oh, the shame.


Ok, so lets go to the meat of the article: Why she is going to be in smash.


She is female.
When talking with Sakurai by using only my mind (And not my imagination, so don't even try to imply it in the comments), he seemed reluctant about including Kumatora in smash "But mysterious stranger in my mind who doesn't speak Japanese but I somehow can understand, no one cares about Earthbound or Mother anymore, Shigesato Itoi is too busy rubbing his glorious shaved head and drinking Western fans tears to make another game, and Mother 3 was released like 30 years ago and only in Japan, why should I put a secondary character from that forgotten game as a playable character in smash?" Sakurai asked me, clearly confused, while in his sleep, and rather interested in our talk. "She doesn't have a Rope Snake hidden in her pants" I answered. By Rope Snake I meant penis, and I can tell he understood and something resonated with him.

I suddenly lost my connection to him. I like to think he wake up, run to his desktop, broke his hand in the process and started designing a beautiful 3D model of Kumatora riding a refrigerator and charging against Mewtwo (Who is also totally going to make it to this game, btw).

If Sakurai loves something is his Waifus. 78% of shown characters in the new smash are female. FACT. Including Pikachu, Lucina, and Male Lucina. And by letting him know that Kumatora is, contrary to popular belief, female, pretty much gave her an excuse to make another Amiibo to take on dates and bake cakes to.


And massage seductively.


MOVING ON.

She has Pink hair.
If there is something the Smash Bros. franchise in know for it has to be variety. Three burly men in overalls, 4 princesses and/or goddesses. 2 pink blobs, 4 swordsmen with blue hair, a few kids, a few space ships riders, a few robots, animals. Lots and lots of color coded animals. And Luigi. You know what this game needs? PINK HAIR. And what is better than pink hair? Pink hair tomboyish girl with an attitude that is actually a princess and can firebend! YOU ARE WELCOME SAKURAI!


She was raised by not one, not two, but SEVEN fabulous guardians.
How fabulous? See for yourself.


 
What does this have to do with the article? Nothing. I just wanted to share the magypsys, they are great.

Ok, next point.

I'm out of arguments.
Huh... Um...

...

"That's it?" Sakurai asked me, clearly feeling a little bit annoyed. "Yeah. I guess... she could be really cool, like a taller Lucas, but, you know... with pink hair." I answered, trying desperately to sound confident and commanding, but listening to my own fading voice made it evident I may have not hit puberty yet, even in my twenties. "A taller Lucas... That sounds like a great idea! I'll just remove Lucas and make Kumatora a Zelda Clone! I can even troll people on Miiverse by telling them its the new Zelda desing for the Wii U game! Ha! Thanks stranger, now GET OUT" *Clank sound* "NO! WAIT! DON'T MAKE HER A CLONE. YOU DID THAT TO GANONDORF" *Beep Beep Beep* 

I tried to contact him back, but my PSI powers are apparently blocked... for good.


Or my mother may have not paid the bill. One or the other.


Oh well. At least Kumatora is going to be in smash, so rejoice! And... sorry.
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Maybe a little bit late to the party, but I didn't wanted to waste a chance to share a little bit about myself. I have been lurking this website for around 7 years now, but only recently I have taken a more active role, at least on the comments sections. So here it is, 10 things you might not know about me!

1.-I live in frontier.

I'm mexican, and I live in Tijuana. As such I have the best of both worlds when it comes to gaming and hobbys: The retail prices of the U.S.A. with the constant sales, slots and all around good times in Mexico. Its as easy to buy a new copy of Mario Kart 8 on release date on a Gamestop as it is easy to buy Mario Kart Wii for 100 pesos (Around 8 bucks), check the code on Club Nintendo and discover is still active and was part of the Wii Bundle. Also flea markets over here are the best.


And yes, Tijuana looks like this.


2.- I didn't play that many games... until recently.
As a child the only console I owned was a Gameboy with Pokemon Yellow and monopoly, and most of my teen years I expend with Mario Kart 64 and Super Smash Bros. Melee. That's it, some games I borrowed, some games I was forced to play, but by age 18 my gaming library was not bigger than 20 games, most of the DS Mario and Pokemon games. That changed when I got a 3DS 2 years ago. Since then I gave opened up to a far wider variety of games. I tried Visual Novels like Phoenix Wright and 999, RPG's like SMT IV and Final Fantasy, Strategy games, Monster Hunter, all kinds of games. And that made me try more games. I got a PS2 to play all the games I have been mising, right now I'm enjoing Persona 4, and even if I suck at it, I'm slowly going through it.

3.- I'm a huge Nintendo fanboy.
Give me anything made by the Big N and I'll end up eating it up and praising it like the second coming of Robo-Jesus, our true mechanized savior.

4.-I collect Yoshi stuff.
I have about 30 different yoshi related merchandise, its still rather smal, but I had to stop since I ran out of space... I'll continue as soon as I get a better layout.


5.- I have a crippling videogame news addiction.
As I said, I don't play that many games, at least compared to *ehem* true gamers. I have rarely touched a 360 and Street Fighter makes me dizzy, but that doesn't stop me from checking religiously around 5 or 6 gaming sites everyday, reading about the development process, watching gameplay footage and even enjoying watching my friends play through their favorite games. I really rarely play them, but I'm always enjoying them, even if I don't have the controler in my hand.

6.-Luigi's Death Stare makes me laugh EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.


Can't help it.

7.- Seven is my favorite number.
I have also never seen the movie. I might check it someday.

8.-I enjoy football. And by football I mean soccer. I like to play the Volante position (That's like a defensive midfielder) and I'm rather mediocre, but I still have fun. Also, Mexico is going to kick Brazil's ass so hard in the World Cup, I can guarantee it!

9.- I really REALLY like BBQ Sauce.
I put it in my sausages. I put it in my eggs. I put it directly in my mouth. I like to put it in my pizza, bacon, salads, beans, rice, instant noodles and bread. Yes, just bread with BBQ Sauce.

10.- I own a small anime store.
How small? Well, I guess is big enough. I have two display cabinets, a few tables, space for a TV and games and lots and lots of anime and videogame stuff. Me and my girlfriend are huge anime fans, and as such we bring to Tijuana the good stuff. Kill la Kill, Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn, Gintama, Legend of Zelda, Persona, Shingeki no Kyojin, One Piece, Kamisama Kiss, the list goes on. It's been four years since I started our bussiness and I can say without doubt in my mind that its what I want to do the rest of my life. I love the community and I love the media, so what can I say? I'll keep at it.


Guess who is me! Hint: I'm the handsome one. No, the other one.


And that's it! I hope you liked this taste of who am I as much as I enjoyed sharing. I'll see you around in the front page and C-Blogs, also you can add me as a Friend on Wii U, username is SalvaPot, I promise I'll take you on Mario Kart 8!
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If you didn't notice, Club Nintendo just renew their rewards. So let's see here:

Game I already have
Game I just bought (Goddammit)
The Kirby patches that I can never justify to myself to get (But they are so cute!)
The Mario & Green Mario 3DS pouches...

...greeting cards... with Dogs. You don't see those often.



And I scroll down the page and OH MY GOD IS THAT A FREAKING YOSHI T-SHIRT!?


OH MY FUCKING GOD!


"Calm down, Salvador Sandoval", I said to myself, "before you get all nice and excited check if its still in stock and how many coins do you need"


Calming down was hard with those abs distracting me.


WANT

WANT

WANT

I was short on coins, but for some reason the used WiiU I had just registered with Nintendo gave me coins (Yaaay!), so it is coming and I'm SO EXCITED!

...

So here are the reasons why the Yoshi T-shirt is the BEST thing ever.

Yoshi is a badass

If there is a Mario character who has proven himself over and over again is the green lizard. Have a problem? Eat it and poop it into an egg. Have a HUUUGE problem? Eat it and turn it into a GIANT egg. That's right, yoshi eats his problems and gives birth to solutions

This T-shirt is green.
No one can deny green is the best color there is. And if you have your doubts I can prove it. Whats the light you like best in a traffic light? Green. Best apple flavor? Green apple. The most important screen in Movie Making history? That's right, the green screen. Color of the coolest robot around?



That's right!


Also, Green is life, ever heard of that?


The shipping is free.
If I have learned something while in the internets and webzones is that if you buy something and shipping is free... THEN ITS A GREAT DEAL. WHERE DO I SIGN.


Chicks love Yoshi.
And guys want to be Yoshi. So if I wear the Yoshi T-Shirt, I'm wearing Yoshi. And also it has both babys and giant eggs, girls like those, right?

It's a (Not really but kinda) Free T-Shirt
There is not a greatest gift for men than a Free T-shirt, we always need one and we find a clean one when we need it most.

I really need more clothes.


It will make all my friends jealous
I can imagine it now, the greatest party of the year. Everyone goes with their best clothes. You can see Bidoofshock Infinite T-shirts, Comic-Con exclusive T-Shirts, and, of course, the Zelda Symphony 25th anniversary that sold out in the first 5 minutes before the concert was even open (Those bastards!). Then I enter the room, both hands in my hips and the sassiest sauciest sausages look on my face you can imagine...

So when is arriving, anyway?
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If you don't care about me freaking out in excitement about the game (I don't mind xD), here is the link for the story: http://www.computerandvideogames.com/462730/mario-kart-8-review-910-in-edge-as-essential-as-super-mario-3d-world/

So I'm excited about Mario Kart 8, my non-gaming friends are excited about Mario Kart 8, my father AND mother are excited about Mario Kart 8, and even my hardcore friends who snickered at the fact that I bought a Wii U at launch day (and then shat bricks when I showed Wonderful 101) are already making arrangements without telling me beforehand to get together at my apartment for some crazy kart action. That is the power of MK for you.

And the first official review is up! Apparently Edge Magazine game the game a 9/10, and that's a really nice score. Not only that, they pretty much said this game makes Mario kart 7 look lacking by comparison, and I sure as hell loved 7, I still play it frequently!


Choo choo!


[justify]Information about the game is popping everywhere, with all the maps and characters confirmed, the awful looking Battle Arenas (Maybe the only thing no one will like), the online modes been described and all kinds of fun screenshots and videos running rampant. So that pretty much means that most reviewers already have their copy and I can't wait to get the game and see it for myself.[/justify]
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Salvador Sandoval
12:43 AM on 08.25.2013

Go check this comment section or any comment section about the Wii U or Nintendo. Check it real good and scroll down to check the heated debate, if you have the time.

Sorry you had to see that. Oh! Also, the title is a play in the "War of Christmas" running gag by Fox News. This blog is about the constant negativity and nastiness  in Nintendo-related articles, so if you are interested and have some time to kill since there is no news on weekends, please give it a read. It will make me happy!


-----------Skip this part if you don't care about ranting and excessive self-awareness--------

I'm, as I have said in repeated occasions,  a Nintendo fan. I love all things Nintendo, be them Marios and them Zeldas, them Pikmins and them Metroids, they are a big part of my life. If I'm short on money and have the option of one game and only one game at any given time, chances are I'll pick the Nintendo first party software, since that is where my interests are.

Even then, I do play all kinds of games with my friends, at arcades (Who still exist in a huge way here in México), at gaming conventions, be it Call of Duty or Power Stone, Marvel vs Capcom 2 or DDR (That I suck at), I have learned to enjoy the games for what they are, just fun. When just enjoying games, I stopped caring about what game company made it or what console is it on, I just want to play some goddamn games.


Aww yiss more games to play


So I just don't understand, why do Nintendo related news are always flooded with people talking shit about Nintendo, specially the Wii U? Even sometimes stuff completely unrelated to the news itself, just pointing out the disadvantages of the system and why, according to the user writing it,  everyone who buys the console is a fucking idiot because its obviously inferior in every single way.

I mean sure, the Wii U is NOT perfect, by any reach of the word. The games are slowly coming, the hardware specifications are decent, but not on par with the other consoles by any chance (As far as we know), the tablet seems gimmicky and also most of the games are decidedly aimed at the Nintendo crowd.

But it seems all the people only saying negative things about the console those not realize WE ALREADY KNOW THAT. We know of the shortcomings of the console. And here is the thing: We don't care. We like it because what it offers us is, well, what we want. Sure, more advanced technology would be nice. And sure, more games would be nice too. And sure, the console is expensive.



But that's ok. You know what? Because we want the console to play games.

We want the console to play Nintendo games.

We want the console to play Indie games.

We want the console to play quirky weird games.

Power is not everything people, is all about the games, right?

-------Read from this point on for the beef of the blog, in case you value your time-------------

To all those people who are saying the console is crap, well, it may be crap for you since it just doesn't appeal to you. But there is people who are just waiting for the right game to come out.

You really just need one or two or a few games to convince you to buy a console. For me, it was Nintendo Land, for my friends, it was Monster Hunter, for some of my cheapest  or busy friends, it will be a Zelda or a Metroid. And for the casual crowd? Who the fuck knows? I never expected Animal Crossing to be a smashing hit on the 3DS when it realeased in Japan, but it did. Its just one game people. That game justifies a $350 purchase in a lot minds.

What console are you buying? Why are you buying it? If you are buying the PS4 or Xbox One, I'm pretty sure you are aware that a lot of the must buy games that are coming for the consoles are not coming at launch or are going multiplatform in current-gen consoles too, with just a graphical upgrade. I don't know about you, but buying a PS4 or Xbox One at launch is a good idea only if you know you are investing for the future and you can wait for those games to come.


Pretty sure you are all buying this.


Is the same for us Nintendo fans. Is the same for those that are not as patient as us and are waiting for the right game to drop. We knew what we where getting into, we knew the games where not going to look at the same beautiful ultra-detailed HD gray and brown colors. But we also knew it will more than make up for it with the Nintendo games and the weird collaborations and indie games that have been and will be in the console so far. We are not idiots (Well, at least not all of us), even if a lot of people think we may be for liking Nintendo products, we don't need negative people to come and try to ruin our fun.

All I'm saying is, whats the point? For me its just sad to see the cereal guy (You know, ctg867) or Kyosuke with their constant negativity. Sure, negativity or criticism is good every now and then, but come on guys! Every single time you have to bring up the same arguments, the same logic and the same facts? Do you think most people always care about if you are right or wrong? I'm sure you guys are smart thinking people, we can all tell, you don't need to prove anything. You are not saving us from a mistake, nor Nintendo, and you are doing nothing to make your point, even if valid, come across. You are just alienating this community and antagonizing the "Nintendrones", that I have to admit, love to use those downvotes who I think are unfair and cowardly, I'll love for downvotes to not be anonymous, but that's another discussion entirely.

The point is... just stop. I like to think that everyone that visit this website at least made an informed decision when they bought a Wii U and knew what they where getting into, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority is happy with the purchase. And yes, the console is doing awful right now, but really, that's to be expected... there is still not a blockbuster Nintendo game out there, and believe me, chances are, it will come.

What's the worst thing it can happen? The Wii U will become a Gamecube 2, and then Nintendo will try to make a new console in a few years. I can live with that.

Also, please announce a Star Fox game for the Wii U already Nintendo, come on!
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