((Some minor spoilers for those who haven’t seen the movie or read the graphic novel.))

This movie is a miracle.

By all rights, fans should hate it and everything it stands for. Zach Snyder has taken source material akin to the Bible – a sacred text that was transmitted and recorded as the pure Word of God – chopped it up into pieces, then stitched it back together to form some gigantic Frankenstein’s Monster for the unwashed masses to see in movie theaters.

And, somehow, it works. The Watchmen movie, even though it’s not perfect (I’ll get into some of my personal gripes a little later on), it’s by far the best adaptation of the graphic novel that we could’ve ever (reasonably) hoped for.

It’s honestly exactly as a described: imagine the original book as the script itself, and the actors and cameramen and directors shot each panel and scene nearly exactly as you see them. There are some lines spoken by different people, certain scenes switched around (or dropped entirely), and of course the ending’s different, but the same messages, morals, and characters still ring true. Dr. Manhattan and Laurie on Mars debating the value of human life, Rorschach with the naive psychiatrist, Dan Dreiberg and Hollis Mason reliving the glory days over a couple of beers, all the scenes and moments that are most integral to the story are there. The rest would’ve added far more depth, granted, but the movie as it stands is already saturated with visual symbols, meaningful lines, important foreshadowing building to the apocalyptic conclusion. And I loved it.


Watchmen 101: Never fuck with Rorschach.


Probably one of the best reasons why this movie works can be attributed to the actors in it. Jackie Earle Haley has already drawn rave reviews for his portrayal of heroic sociopath Rorschach, and I’m very inclined to agree with them. He utterly dominates every scene he’s in, like Heath Ledger did with The Joker in The Dark Knight. He gets the distinctive pattern of speech, the rasping voice, and his escapades around the city throughout the movie will simultaneously have you rooting for the character, but still cringing at the brutality he visits upon the criminal underworld. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is tremendous as the Comedian. As the one actor that I was most familiar with coming into this movie, I was worried about whether I would see the character or the actor merely portraying the character. My worries were unfounded, Jeffrey Dean Morgan completely nails the cynicism, sadism, violence and yet the humanity of the character right from the opening sequence. It takes a lot of talent for someone to play such a cruel character and still have the audience bawling at his funeral.



Patrick Wilson also deserves praise for Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl II, and effortlessly transitions from impotent bachelor playing with his toys to a confident, ass-kicking hero alongside Laurie/Silk Spectre II. Malin Akerman and Billy Crudup (Laurie and Dr. Manhattan) were pretty good as well, but suffered the same problem Christian Bale has playing opposite Ledger as the Joker (yes, another TDK analogy, bear with me here), the other actors were just so good that they kind of get lost and overshadowed comparatively.

And so that leaves Matthew Goode as Ozymandias/Adrian Veidt. He’s drawn a bit of criticism for his role in the movie. Personally, iIt’s not his acting, it’s not his obviously-dyed hair, it’s not the suit with bat-nipples, it’s simply his presence that I found most jarring about his portrayal. Ozymandias, fitting with the name, is supposed to be an imposing, intimidating, larger-than-life character, and Goode just didn’t pull it off. We’re told throughout the movie what a mentally and physically strong character Adrian is supposed to be, verbally and through his actions. He dodges bullets, catches bullets and curbstomps his opponents while in the middle of a monologue. But while we see all of this on screen, we never really believe it.



Aside from the characters, Zach Snyder and his team took a few creative liberties when filming this movie. I already mentioned a few scenes are out of order and certain lines are spoken in different places and by different people, but that very rarely interrupts the flow of the story. There was one line at the end that I felt lost some gravitas in the transition, but that may be more of a personal gripe than anything else. In keeping with the apocalyptic theme of war, they also threw in quite a few references to 9/11, as you can clearly see the Twin Towers right outside Adrian Veidt’s New York office penthouse, and that image crops up a couple more times at the end. Snyder’s signature 300-style fight choreography also makes an appearance a few times, but it’s not distracting enough to adversely affect those fight scenes or the movie overall.

Then of course, there’s the ending. Yes, it is completely changed from the novel. No, it doesn’t suck. In fact, it actually makes more sense in the Watchmen universe than the original did. Blasphemy? Maybe, but I’m still impressed at what the directors came up with, and the scene regarding the utter destruction of downtown New York City is just as heart-rending and dramatic as it was originally.



One final gripe I want to address with the movie was a few of the song choices. Some of them perfectly fit into the context they’re used (and in the case of 99 Luft Balloons, possibly the only time it’s been used in the correct context), but a few hit a sour note (pun very much intended). The lyrics to The Sound of Silence, Hallelujah, and All Along the Watchtower all fit the scenes they’re used in very well, but the songs themselves are so recognizable that their use loses any possible subtlety. I think this is just a problem with the medium rather than directorial decisions. In the original graphic novel, many songs were used as bookends to the chapters and provided themes echoed throughout them, much like these songs do in the movie. But reading those lyrics has a very different effect than listening to them.

So, overall, the movie was amazing. There were a few issues throughout it, but a few minutes’ worth of distraction and dissonance out of a nearly three-hour feature isn’t so bad, and given the monumental task of translating Watchmen to the big screen, I’m willing to sacrifice those moments for the emotional, provocative, and downright epic story the rest of the movie constructs.

Five-out-of-five stars. Go. See. This. Movie.