Hello, my name is SWE3tMadness, and I suck at strategy.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I know simple tricks like “Always aim for the eye,” and Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors, but that just means my whole meta-game principle pretty much amounts to “Hit it’s weak point for massive damage!”
For example, I’m currently doing another run of Ocarina of Time this summer out of boredom (and lack of funds for new games…), and when facing down a boss, a veteran gamer’s first instinct would be to keep your distance and wait for an opening to appear.
Well, fuck that shit. LEEEEROOOOOY JEENKIIIIIINNSS!
Hey, I may have only one and a half hearts left after using up one fairy-in-a-bottle, but at least the big bad monster is dead now, right? It’s a small sacrifice to pay for saving the world.
It’s not just adventure games though. Real-time strategy? Human wave tactics (We have reserves.) RPG’s? Level-grind until you can defeat the boss in one or two hits. Shooters? Set your gun to automatic and strafe.
This also is my greatest undoing when facing off against human opponents, and where the meta-game aspect of playing is
crucial to doing well. Take Pokèmon for example. After four generations of games, you’ve got almost unlimited options for customizing movesets, stats, and overall strategies to guarantee victory. Unfortunately, a lot of these strategies rely on you being able to predict an opponent’s moves and plan accordingly.
Did I mention I’m also terrible at chess?
It’s honestly not that I’m
stupid enough to take advantage of meta-gaming principles or try to formulate better strategies, it’s just that whenever I try it, I end up getting so frustrated that I get killed anyways. It’s unbelievably hard for me to try and memorize attack patterns while running around an enclosed space trying desperately trying to
dodge said attack at the same time. I’ll try to beat boss battles and enemy encounters the “right” way, but eventually, I find it’s just faster to find the biggest sword you can get your hands on, boost your health as much as possible, and load up with healing items. And if I’m going down, I’m taking this fucker with me.
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If you played D&D that way, you'd be a cleric. Bludgeon, heal, and repeat. There's no "right" way to beat a game -- if the devs allow for it to be used, it's fair game in my book.
As for human opponents -- the only way to be able to predict opponents moves is to play so much that you have all the possibilities memorized. Sounds like you'd rather experience more games than focus in on just one like that.
Also, Patapon wins the universe.
The problem with strategy is that when it fails you get mad because it took so much time and effort and didn't work. If you charge in sword flying you might win, but if you don't at least you can laugh it off as just being unprepared.