Finally, after more than two months of delays, the seventh episode of the web series There Will Be Brawlwas released on The Escapist this Friday.

And holy shit, it is definitely worth the wait. My jaw was open for about the last third of this episode. I can't even imagine how they're going to top this with the final two installments of the series. The plot thickens and our protagonists find themselves launched out of the frying pan and into the fire when they discover more clues regarding the serial killer and the corruption plaguing their own Mushroom Kingdom. New allies and old enemies appear, but will Luigi and his friends be able to save themselves and uncover the truth in time to save what they hold dear?

Unfortunately, that's about all I can say without including MASSIVE SPOILERS in this post. Just enjoy the show and pay some respect to the amount of effort that goes into this project.

If you're not already familiar with the series, watch the whole thing from the beginning first because it's very plot-intensive, and nothing will really make sense if you try to jump in with this episode.

Original link

Hello, my name is SWE3tMadness, and I suck at strategy.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I know simple tricks like “Always aim for the eye,” and Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors, but that just means my whole meta-game principle pretty much amounts to “Hit it’s weak point for massive damage!”





For example, I’m currently doing another run of Ocarina of Time this summer out of boredom (and lack of funds for new games…), and when facing down a boss, a veteran gamer’s first instinct would be to keep your distance and wait for an opening to appear.

Well, fuck that shit. LEEEEROOOOOY JEENKIIIIIINNSS!



Hey, I may have only one and a half hearts left after using up one fairy-in-a-bottle, but at least the big bad monster is dead now, right? It’s a small sacrifice to pay for saving the world.

It’s not just adventure games though. Real-time strategy? Human wave tactics (We have reserves.) RPG’s? Level-grind until you can defeat the boss in one or two hits. Shooters? Set your gun to automatic and strafe.

This also is my greatest undoing when facing off against human opponents, and where the meta-game aspect of playing is crucial to doing well. Take Pokèmon for example. After four generations of games, you’ve got almost unlimited options for customizing movesets, stats, and overall strategies to guarantee victory. Unfortunately, a lot of these strategies rely on you being able to predict an opponent’s moves and plan accordingly.



Did I mention I’m also terrible at chess?

It’s honestly not that I’m stupid enough to take advantage of meta-gaming principles or try to formulate better strategies, it’s just that whenever I try it, I end up getting so frustrated that I get killed anyways. It’s unbelievably hard for me to try and memorize attack patterns while running around an enclosed space trying desperately trying to dodge said attack at the same time. I’ll try to beat boss battles and enemy encounters the “right” way, but eventually, I find it’s just faster to find the biggest sword you can get your hands on, boost your health as much as possible, and load up with healing items. And if I’m going down, I’m taking this fucker with me.

Activision finally announced the final tracks of the Guitar Hero 5 setlist today, so - as I said in my earlier post - here are the video links (and commentary) to go with them. Enjoy!

3 Doors Down – Kryptonite (Eh, not the most challenging song, but I still like it.)

Blink-182 - The Rock Show (I’m always happy for more blink 182 songs, although it’s too bad Rock Band beat you to it.)

Dire Straits - Sultans Of Swing (I’m a sucker for all classic rock tracks like this. Although they may not be on the same kind of difficulty as some other songs, they’re still fun because they’re just really well-constructed. Never repetitive or dull, and just fun to listen to as you’re playing.)

Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (I still have no clue what this song is supposed to be about. Nothing really notable about it otherwise.)

Megadeth - Sweating Bullets (Oh, I fucking love the solo in this song. \m/)

Mötley Crüe - Looks That Kill (Heh, they just don’t make campy music videos like this anymore. It’s a shame, really.)

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (About. Fucking. Time.)

The Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes (This is really the only song by this group that I actually like. It sounds like it’d kind of boring to play in Guitar Hero though. )

Well, that’s it. As much as I love some of the songs in this setlist for GH5, like Spirit of the Radio, Sultans of Swing, Smells Like Teen Spirit, etc, those few songs aren’t worth a full 50 bucks to me. Activision/Neversoft seem to be putting a lot more emphasis on more modern pop-rock, and while those songs may be great otherwise, they just aren’t that fun to play in-game. Plus, it seems like the majority of these songs are already available on Rock Band 2 in one form or another, so if you already have that game, there’s really no reason to spend extra money to play it here. Sorry, Activision, I stuck with the franchise for awhile, but it seems that Smash Hits will be the last one I’m willing to pay full price for.

The full setlist for Guitar Hero 5 hasn’t been released yet, but I’m running into the same problem as the GHWT tracks: I have no utter clue about what half these songs are like. So like the GHWT setlist, I did some research for anyone else scratching their heads and compiled all the announced tracks for GH5, YouTube links for the individual songs, and some random comments from a veteran GH player.

ScoreHero keeps good track of new updates for the game as well, so check back there for more info on the setlist and an alternate list of video links for songs.

Band of Horses--Cigarettes, Wedding Bands
Beastie Boys—Gratitude
Beck-- Gamma Ray
Billy Squier-- Lonely is the Night
Blur- -Song 2
Children of Bodom-- Done With Everything, Die for Nothing
Coldplay--"In My Place"
Darkest Hour-- Demon(s)
David Bowie—Fame (Can’t go wrong with David Bowie.)
Deep Purple-- Woman from Tokyo ('99 Remix) (Can’t find the ’99 remix, oh well.)
Elliott Smith--L.A.
Iggy Pop-- Lust for Life (Live) (Yeah, there’s about bajillion live versions of this song on YouTube, but this one’s good quality, and pretty damn entertaining too. Whether or not it’s actually going to be the one used in GH5, I don’t know.)
Jeff Beck--Scatterbrain (Live) (Again, which live version of this song they’re going to use, I don’t know.)
John Mellencamp--Hurts So Good (Blah, could care less about this song. I don’t like John Mellencamp particularly.)
Queens Of The Stone Age-- Make It Wit Chu (There’s far better and more well-known songs from Queens of The Stone Age that they could’ve used, this one I don’t care for too much.)
Rose Hill Drive-- Sneak Out
Santana-- No One to Depend on (Live) (Same problem as all the other live versions, there certainly are a lot in this setlist, aren’t there? I love Santana though, so very much looking forward to playing this one.)
The Bronx--Six Days a Week (And then the only version I can find for this song is live. Very funny.)
Thrice-- Deadbolt
Vampire Weekend-- A-Punk (Song sounds boring to play, but I can’t deny that I love this music video.)
Attack! Attack! UK - You And Me
Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name (I probably don’t even need to link to a video for this one, you all should know this regardless. )
Darker My Love - Blue Day
The Duke Spirit - Send A Little Love Token
Elton John - Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) (I’ve actually been waiting for this song to be a Guitar Hero/Rock Band game for awhile. Woo!)
Face To Face - Disconnected
Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
Kaiser Chiefs - Never Miss A Beat
Kiss - Shout It Out Loud
Love and Rockets - Mirror People
My Morning Jacket - One Big Holiday
Nirvana - Lithium (Live) (I like Nirvana fine, but their songs are just…really boring to play. )
The Police - So Lonely (Okay…so with all the awesome songs by The Police out there, and they pick this one? Activision, what are you smoking over there?)
Rammstein – Du Hast (Same problem here. Rammstein is fucking awesome, but this song is just weird for a Guitar Hero game. It’s really repetitive and has lots of empty places where the guitarist won’t be doing much.)
The Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil (Again, of all the Rolling Stones songs out there, they use this one? It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong, but the studio version that I’m used to hearing doesn’t have the guitarist do much until the solo near the middle. )
Sonic Youth – Incinerate (For those of you who remember the Sonic Youth song used in GH3, don’t worry, this isn’t nearly as horrible as that selection was. Nothing too spectacular about this otherwise though.)
Screaming Trees - Nearly Lost You
Sublime - What I Got (Oh, HELL YES! “Santeria” was pretty much one of the few highlights of GHWT, so I’m very happy they got another Sublime song for GH5. )

The Sword - Maiden, Mother & Crone (Hm, between Metallica and Smash Hits, The Sword is getting a lot of attention in the Guitar Hero series. Is someone on the developer staff a huge fan or something? Not that I’m really complaining, there’s far worse bands out there.)

Thin Lizzy – Jailbreak (Woohoo! Guitar Hero can always use more classic rock. Sounds easy to play, but still a good choice in my opinion.)
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - American Girl (Oookay, here’s an exception to that “MOAR CLASSIC ROCK” statement. Good Lord, I hate Tom Petty. D:< )
The White Stripes - Blue Orchid (This music video really creeps me the fuck out. Don’t care much for the song either.)

A Perfect Circle - Judith (I was a little disappointed to learn that Tool wasn’t going to be in Guitar Hero for a second time, so I guess this will have to do instead. Maynard James Keenan is amazing, but this song’s thematic material seems a bit…controversial to include in the setlist. The lyrics do involve shouting “Fuck your God” after all. Not complaining, I’m just surprised that Activision/Neversoft picked this track instead of something else.)

Arctic Monkeys – Brianstorm (I’ve honestly never heard this song before but it sounds like a whole lot of fun to play. I’m going to have to check out more stuff by this group.)

Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
Brand New - Sowing Season (Yeah)

Bush – Comedown (Same issue I had with “So Lonely”, there’s far better songs by this band that they could’ve picked instead. This just sounds like it’ll be boring to play. Like the song itself, but not a good choice for the game.)

Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf (This is the Rock Band 2 chart, just to be cheeky.)
Eagles Of Death Metal - Wannabe In L.A.
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. (Another “WTF was Activision smoking?” songs.)
Gov't Mule - Streamline Woman
Grand Funk Railroad - We're An American Band (Ooh, this song I’m excited about. Classic rock song from a band that I actually like. Sounds like it’s going to be lots of fun to play.)
Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes to Midnight (Sorry, can’t type, too busy headbanging. \m/ )
King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man (Well this is something completely different. It sounds very Pink-Floyd-y.)
Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire
Muse - Plug In Baby (Can’t argue with more Muse.)
No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend
Peter Frampton - Do You Feel Like We Do? (Live) (I really hope that this isn’t the live version they’re going to be using. The Mercyful Fate medley song from GH: Metallica was bad enough at about eleven minutes, this one clocks in at about 14 total.
Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure (Another classic song. I wonder how fun it’ll be to actually play though.)
Rush - The Spirit Of Radio (Live) (YEEEESSSSS!!! Oh, you all have NO IDEA how much I’ve been wanting to play this song in GH/RB. I’m just wondering why it took so long to get it into a game!)

Scars On Broadway - They Say (Ick, repetitive and annoying. Not looking forward to playing this one. )
Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings (This kind of makes up for the above track though. Almost.)
Spacehog - In The Meantime
Stevie Wonder - Superstition (Hooray for funky bass lines!)
Sunny Day Real Estate – Seven
T. Rex - 20th Century Boy
The Killers - All These Pretty Faces
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
Weezer - Why Bother?
Wild Cherry - Play That Funky Music (Even more funky bass lines!)
Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire (Same as “Under Pressure”, classic, but I’m iffy on whether I’ll actually want to play it repeatedly.)

Bob Dylan - All Along the Watchtower (Yet another installment of “What was Activision/Neversoft smoking??” First off, I really can’t stand Bob Dylan, but the question still stands why they didn’t use the Jimi Hendrix version, which is more recognizable, and most likely would’ve been much more fun and interesting to play.)

Wolfmother - Back Round


For some reason I couldn’t find a good video for “Meditate” by AFI, “Younk Funk” by The Derek Trucks Band, or “Bring The Noise 20XX” by Public Enemy feat. Zakk Wylde. If you want to hear them that badly, look for it somewhere else.

It may not look like much, but as far as I know this is the only picture available of the art shown off at Miyamoto's roundtable at E3. Let the Internet matlocking commence.

Picture credit goes to Nintendo World Report.

Throughout the years, Mario has faced off with his nemesis, Bowser, countless times. And from the first time we dueled the spiky behemoth on a rickety bridge over lava, to the time when we booted him into a sun at the center of the galaxy, those epic battles are always accompanied by really, really freaking awesome background themes. The circumstances and motives behind these showdowns have shifted over the lifetime of the Mario series, and the music also changes to fit the situation, giving us everything from head-bangingly intense rock songs to grandiose orchestrated tracks worthy of a blockbuster movie.

However, throughout the long history of Bowser Battles, what music stood above the rest? In this article, I’ll be choosing what I believe to be the Top Five Bowser Battle Themes in the Mario series. So without further ado, here’s the list:

Number 5
First and Second Bowser Battles: Super Mario 64

We didn’t really know what to expect when Super Mario 64 first was released. Could the perfect platforming formula that Nintendo had created translate to 3D? Well, if you still had any doubts by the time you reached the end of Koopa’s Road and saw Bowser in all his evil, polygonal glory, they were quickly dispelled. Bowser was back, and with a bitching rock theme too boot. It starts pretty simply with a very basic drum line that shifts to something more complex once the wailing lead guitar kicks in, and all the layers of the song just click together in a resounding, raw statement of Bowser’s intent to kick your pudgy plumber ass. In other words, this song takes the essence of many of the other tracks in this list and distills it down to the rawest components of a great Bowser battle theme.

Number 4
Paper Mario 2: The Thousand-Year Door
(Spoilers ahead, but the game’s been out for over five years now, so if you haven’t beaten it by now, it’s really your own fault if the ending is now ruined.)

A lot of the music in Paper Mario 2 was incredible, but for a character that was relegated to comic relief for most of it, Bowser gets what is undeniably one of the best battle themes. The game starts out with Princess Peach getting kidnapped…by a bad guy that isn’t the King Koopa himself. A majorly pissed-off Bowser then treks across the world trying to kidnap her back, and failing miserably. However, when he decides to take his frustration out on your party in this battle late in the game, it comes at the worst possible moment. You’re in the Very Definitely Final Dungeon, and have just finished a lengthy and difficult fight with the leader of the evil organization that kidnapped Peach. And then Bowser quite literally drops through the ceiling and demands to fight you right then and there while the bad guy escapes with the princess to release a demon to destroy the world.

This song works for the battle so well, because of a weird combination of breakneck speed and sinister instrument effects that sound like one hell of an evil circus. It lets you know that even though Bowser was the butt of jokes through 90% of the game, right now he’s poses a very real threat not just to your party, but to the rest of the world. It’s this frustration and sense of urgency that really makes the theme stand out.

Number 3
Final Bowser Battle: Super Mario 64

Once you defeat Bowser for the second time in Super Mario 64, you’re probably pretty confident about the final showdown with him at the end of the game. You’ve collected all the stars, unlocked everything in the castle, and are ready to defeat the spiky tyrant to get back your princess and eat that cake that you’ve been looking forward to!

And then you drop down the hole that leads to the final arena and wonder why the light’s gotten so weird…and hear the first terrifying chords of this song played on a pipe organ. Not so confident now, huh?

If there’s one way to make any song ridiculously epic, throw in a church organ. Ganondorf used it to great effect in Ocarina of Time, and probably learned the trick from this battle. Like the regular Bowser battle theme in this game, the song is simple, with only the organ and no other instrumentation to distract from the legendary showdown occurring between two old and bitter foes.

Number 2
Bowser Battle: Super Mario Galaxy

After Super Mario 64, Bowser lost his credibility as a threat to most gamers, and was reduced to competing in Kart races, board games, and general comic relief. That all changed in Super Mario Galaxy. From the moment he swoops down and rips the Peach and her castle out from the ground and hijacks it into deep space, you know that this…means war.

But it’s pretty hard to top a pipe organ in terms of epic battle themes, so what can the composers behind the Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack do to regain that sense of imposing power that we haven’t seen since the N64?

How about full orchestration, and an ominous choir in the background? Now we have a boss theme that seems more suitable for a Final Fantasy villain than an oversized turtle that hasn’t been threatening for nearly a decade. This song lets the player know that Bowser is finally back with a vengeance, and while listening to this song play during the fight, I was cheering on his long-overdue return.

Number 1
Final Bowser Battle: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

It may seem impossible that there is a song out there that can possibly be a better battle theme than the one from Super Mario Galaxy. But really, it’s almost too easy to make an epic battle theme when you have access to full orchestration and a real-life chorus. With the audio systems on the SNES, you have to focus more on actual song structure and less on sheer dramatic impact. And the final Bowser theme from Yoshi’s Island pulls it off perfectly.

Like #5 on this list, it’s a straight-up rock ‘n roll song, but where the themes from Super Mario 64 work with simplicity, this song kicks all restraint to the curb and unleashes the furious power of sheer, unadulterated RAWK. The lead guitar shreds, then drums pound, and then when you think it can’t get even better, the rock organ kicks in. Listen to the song in all its face-melting glory here, because there's really nothing more that I can say to describe it effectively:



(It doesn’t hurt that the actual battle itself is also one of the best in the Mario series.)