Another week, another batch of games. Let's get down to business.




For the most part, I've been playing the same games as last week.

GTA IV continues its streak of brilliance without breaking a sweat. I spend my days at work longing to return to Liberty City. Since I covered the game mechanics last week, I'd like to discuss some of the finer points that make the game what it is.
The music has impressed me like nothing has since Tony Hawk 2 (Powerman 5000 ftw). I know the boys at Rockstar North have always included an eclectic mix of tunes in the series, but there's something special about this one, something I can't quite put my finger on. I think it just fits the personality of the city. Of course, it doesn't hurt that my 2 favourite stations, Liberty Rock Radio and Classics, feature Iggy Pop and DJ Premier at the respective helms. Oh, and The Seeker rocks hard tasty abs.
I'm also very happy with the pacing of the game. The story is considerably lower key than anything in the series' history; a byproduct of its more refined writing. It's refreshing that Niko isn't the head of some crime syndicate at this point. He's still just trying to get by, taking any job he can. I mean, it kind of broke the fiction when CJ was robbing casinos, dealing with government agents and flying jet packs, only to return to Los Santos to confront comparatively petty problems at the end.
With all that said, I am starting to see a few cracks in the game. As odd as this may sound, especially for a series championed for its variety of activities, I'm getting a bit bored of the missions. No matter what I'm asked to do, it typically ends with a shootout followed by a police chase. Lose your wanted level, drive to the hideout, mission accomplished. Don't
get me wrong, they're still fun to play, but I wish something would come along and shake up the monotony.

I put a little more time into Mario Kart Wii this past week, coming away with less favorable impressions than last week.
I'd just like to say first that the track design is great. Without question some of the best of any Mario Kart. Coconut Mall is not only the fun to play, but fun to look at. Its integration of Miis into the billboards is all sorts of awesome. Admiral "Soon-To-Reside-On-SLiFE's-Ass" Ackbar was showing off some of the latest fall fashions, while My Buddy Greg shilled for what appeared to be coffee (not my fault, its only 480p).
I dislike the wheel now. The novelty has worn off, and I see it for its gimmicky nature. It's not necessarily the fault of the design. It's more of a slight against Wii controls in general. They are incapable of detecting precise motions. How else could I explain a silver on a 50CC cup? And it's not just Mario Kart. Twilight Princess suffered the same problem. Mario Galaxy was acceptable, but only because the spinning attack was easily engaged and the cursor was almost unnecessary. I intend to try controlling the game with both a Gamecube controller and a Wiimote/nunchuk combo in the next week. Hopefully one of these will render the game playable.

The one new game I tried this week was Boom Blox for the Wii. I was so apathetic to this game for months. Only in the past few weeks, after hearing Shane Bettenhausen (of EGM and 1up) raving about how much fun it was, did I develop an interest.
Shane was right.
This game had me hooked in minutes. The play mechanics are simple, intuitive and well implemented within the puzzles. And besides, who doesn't like knocking shit over?
The challenges presented in the game run the gamut of puzzle design: disassembling towers, Jenga-style, knocking them down by throwing as few possible balls as possible, creating paths to allow characters to reach a goal. The bevy of blocks, characters, tools and rule sets make for a ridiculous amount of game play possibilities. A few of them fall flat, but it doesn't detract from the experience too much.
Boom Blox features, hands-down, the best implementation of Wii controls to date. Aiming, motion sensing, the accelerometer: all are used, all are great. It's curious why it took a 3rd party developer to realize them as well as they are. Nintendo should have had a half-dozen such titles by now.
If I had to fault Boom Blox for one thing, it's the physics. Don't get me wrong, the physics model is an incredibly well written piece of simulation software. It's just that in the context of a puzzle game, it can make for a frustrating time. Even after you have figured a level out, where to throw the ball, which piece to remove, the physics can still come out and bite you in the ass. One puzzle comes to mind (knock the gems down in as few throws possible), where one particular gem would always land errantly on another block, requiring a second throw to complete. I wanted gold on that level, and so I spent the better part of an hour retrying. It was frustrating to the point that my eventual victory felt hollow.
The game features an in-depth editing tool. In addition to creating your own levels from scratch, you also have the ability to edit any pre-existing one (an option they present you at the end of every level). While my time with this mode was very limited, I believe it to be the most open-ended editing software available on any home console (at least until LittleBigPlanet). It's just a shame you're limited to exchanging your creations with friends; a community feature would extend the life of this game almost infinitely. We can only hope a 3rd party will step in to fill the void (a la IGN's SSB World).
Overall, this is an easy recommendation to any Wii owner.

Finally, I've been putting more time into Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions.
I'd like to retract my statements from last week regarding the translation. While it took some time to become accustomed to the new dialog, it is far better than the previous release of the game. The style fits with the setting, and the story could be described, for the first time ever, as compelling. By comparison, the previous game was just embarrassing.





I tried out a trio of demos this week on PS3, with mixed impressions.
First up is GRiD, the follow up to last years DiRT (itself the successor to the Colin McRae rally series). Not being a huge racing fan, I booted up with no expectations. egardless, I was very impressed. You can really tell they put the time in to polish this game. It doesn't hurt that it's one of the better looking racers out there. The damage model is incredible, and there are assistance options for novice racers like myself.
Above all, you get to pick from a list of names at the beginning of the game. You will be addressed on menus and by your pit crew as such for the rest of the game. How awesome is it to have someone tell you personally how bad you're doing?

I played the demo for the highly anticipated, oft delayed FPS, Haze. I know of their legacy as ex-Rare staffers who made Goldeneye before separating to create the Timesplitters series. They are renowned for their contributions to the genre. That doesn't mean that I agree with it though. Sure, they created what is considered to be the granddaddy of console first-person shooters, but every game they've released since still controls like its goddamn 1997. Did they never play Halo? There should be courses, taught by Bungie-certified rofessors, on how to program FPS controls. I would say it's not rocket science, but it must be approaching it since so many developers mess it up.
I was really disappointed in Haze. The weapons were boring and uninspired, enemies acted predictably and were not fun to fight, I wanted to shoot my squad mates every time they opened their mouths (I know you switch sides later in the game, but it was still terrible). The Nectar aspect, where you juice yourself with a performance enhancing substance, was interesting, but mainly only because you can overdose on it.
When is this game coming to retail? Doesn't matter.

Last, and most definitely least, comes The Bourne Conspiracy. This game is straight up terrible. It's the worst looking Unreal Engine 3 games I've ever seen, and that includes XBLA games. As part of a larger game, the 3 game play aspects (shooting, hand-to-hand combat, driving) would be passable. But that's it. That's all you do, and all 3 are just awful. If this were a movie, I'd get a bunch of friends together, drink some beer and have a great time laughing at how bad it is. If I were the developer of The Bourne Conspiracy, I'd be ashamed of myself.





Microsoft held their Xbox 360 Spring Showcase earlier this week, and while there were no earth-shattering announcements, everything they showed off is high on my list of anticipated games.
However, the announcement of Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise did get me excited. I was late to the party for the original, but it was one of the best games I played in all of 2007. Its laid-back nature, classic Rare charm and "gotta catch 'em all" design made for one hell of an addicting experience. The sequel doesn't look like it's going to rock the boat too much, but I'll still be picking it up Day One when it drops in September.

The 1st game play footage of Gears of War 2 was shown on Friday, and hot damn, it looks good. The tech demo from GDC did little to prepare me for the visual onslaught.
The action has been ramped up significantly from the original, with promises of even more intense fire fights later in the game. I just hope they put as much effort into reworking the multiplayer, which was, and let's be real here, sorta broken. And if their solution to the chainsaw conundrum is simply a button-mashing contest, I'll be pissed.





The guy behind Fanboys took a month-long sabbatical earlier in the year, but everything he's done since has assaulted my funny bone with reckless abandon. Since this weeks comic is a little large, I must resort to posting the link.
Enjoy.

Roleplay About Nothing


Thanks for reading. I'll be back next week.

Hello fellow Dtoiders, and welcome to my new weekly blog.
Every week, I'll recap what I've been playing over the past 7 days, offer my opinions on recent news, and hopefully provide a few chuckles along the way (though I'm not making any promises).
So I guess I'll hop right in.





The game the entire planet has been waiting for, Grand Theft Auto IV, finally dropped on April 29th, and I was among the roughly 8 goddamn hojillion gamers who contributed to its massive 1st day sales.
It's been just over a week, and I've put in the hours, and I'm loving it.
After finishing San Andreas, the subject of the location of the next GTA popped up in a discussion with my friends. Where would they move the action, and how could it possibly eclipse the scope of an entire state? Without trying to sound like too much of a smug asshole, I just want to say that I got it right on the money: one city, of moderate size, but amazingly detailed.
Let me just start by saying that these are some of the best written characters I've seen in a video game. Not necessarily the deepest or most complex, but best written. I rarely experience true lol moments, literally laughing out loud, but Brucie had me in stitches. Niko's past and quest for revenge make him a much more compelling character to me than Claude, Tommy or even CJ (who was a tad too brash to really endear himself to me).
When it comes down to the game play, the tried-and-true formula is back with some subtle tweaks: cars handle more realistically (ie. riding the handbrake around a corner at 70mph is no longer a viable escape method), drawing the ire of law enforcement now creates a perimeter that you must evacuate unnoticed to lose the heat, and combat has been improved with the help of a cover system.
I've heard complaints about each of these new systems, but I've grown to love each of them. The new driving model was perhaps the toughest to accustom myself to, but each car chase feels much more cinematic now. The AI always seemed to play it safe on the road, and now that you're forced to do the same, chases are more methodical and rewarding.
That seems to be the name of the game now. A slower, more tactical approach is required to overcome challenges. While this is obviously true of the cover system, I feel that statement also applies to evading the police. Scanning the radar, plotting routes to avoid detection while escaping the search area; in previous games, I just gunned it in one direction until I spotted a Pay n Spray on the map.
I haven't had a chance to get online yet, and while it's not a huge priority, I'm hoping to put a few matches under my belt by this time next week.

While GTA has been stealing just about every headline in the known universe, another long running franchise saw a new sequel recently. Mario Kart Wii has also been on my play list, though (and I feel kinda guilty over this) I've played it just once since purchasing it with GTA IV. Given my limited time with the game, I have only limited impressions to offer.
My feelings on this particular entry in the series are a mixed bag, so I'll just list in point form what I do and do not like about it.
-I love the wheel (which handily trumps any previous 3rd party attempts). It's straight up fun to use.
-Item balance is worse than ever. Back in "The Day," lightning bolts were rarely seen, even by the worst player. Now every asshole in the bottom half gets 3 each race. And don't get me started on blue shells. Punishing someone for winning? That sickens even this self-proclaimed socialist.
-I'm torn over the change to 12 racers. While I'm happy to see the formula mixed up, it just means I've got that many more blue shells hunting me down.
-Call me crazy, but I dislike having so many karts to choose from. It's bad enough that most of them are straight up ugly, but it seemingly relegates your choice of driver to, well, nothing. It doesn't really matter who you pick any more, and that just doesn't sit well with me.
Like I said, I haven't had much time with the game yet, so I'll be sure to follow up once I've logged in a few more hours.

The game that has taken up the majority of my time this past week is a game that has taken up more time than any other in the past decade. Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions has been my commuting companion since picking it up on the weekend.
First, a brief note about my history with the series. My first tactical RPG, Final Fantasy Tactics was a subject of obsession during the summer of 1998. I rented it nearly a dozen times (failing to realize a purchase would have been only slightly more expensive) over the next year. In early 2004, I purchased a GBA to play its spin off, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. A few months later, by chance, I happened upon a Greatest Hits copy of the original game, which I certainly did not play on an emulator. Between the 2 games, I've lost around 400 hours of my life.
So it was with great anticipation and excitement that I started playing one of my favourite games of all time again. New translation? Job classes? Cut scenes? Awesome!
Only, not so much. While I can't comment on the new job classes (I'm simply not far enough to have encountered them), and while the cut scenes are phenomenal, other aspects of the game leave something to be desired.
First, and most disappointingly, the games has some issues running on the PSP. I never thought it would have a problem reproducing a PS1 game, given its somewhat deserved reputation as a PS2 port machine. However, the game slows to a crawl whenever a spell or skill is used. It's not a game-ending problem, but it does taint the experience.
I'm also having a problem adjusting to the new translation. Don't get me wrong, it's well written, and I have a feeling that the story may make sense for the first time, but the style is just so different from what I've known for a decade. Names of characters and locations have been changed. It's very jarring. I imagine as I get deeper into the game it will be less of an issue, but it was enough to warrant noting it here.
After that, it is the same, incredibly deep game that captured the attention of my 14 year old self.





I'd also like to mention a few demos I played. Echochrome (specifically, the PS3 version) really delivered on an amazing concept. While a tad short, the demo sold me on the game play. I will definitely pick this one up, particularly with the recent Canadian PSN price drop. The only question remaining is what system do I get it for? I'm leaning towards PSP, as I feel it would lend itself better to short periods of play.
Iron Man was a licensed movie game that I thought might come through. With Sega at the helm, some amazing early screenshots and fan service to spare, I had expectations that matched those of the movie. My bad. The experience was just awful. Sure, flying was sorta ok, but combat (that thing that comprised the other 80% of the demo) was not fun in the least. The spastic controls could only be salvaged by the inclusion of retard-proof auto aim. Sorry Sega, better luck next time.





I want to end my inaugural post with my favourite web comic from this past week (this will be a regular feature).
I don't know if any of you are familiar with Fanboys, but it is consistently funnier than anything out there (including Penny Arcade).

I Has A Mount

So I'm finally playing Super Mario Galaxy (and loving it), but I couldn't help notice this cameo in the 1st level.

Fresh off his victory in the GameFAQs Character Battle, I present to you, the L-Block:






But wait, there's more!
Today only, I present to you this uber-special Viva Pinata cameo by Destructoid's own Snaileb.

Gonna keep this short.

I got a new tattoo yesterday. It is of Mario's nemesis and victim of that cockteasing bitch Peach.
I present to you, the Dtoid crew, Bowser:



The work was done by Cat at I-Kandy Tattoos in Langley, BC.
It was done on the back of my right calf and took approximately 80 minutes to complete.

I'm sure many of you missed this when it was 1st posted (seeing as there are currently only 16 members), but velcroman created a tour group for all the Dtoid rockers out there.

I present to you the DToid Also C0CK Rockers

So, you know, you should probably join up.

Caught this video on The Wedge on Muchmusic tonight.
It blew my mind how many games this video explicitly references.