Greetings True Believers. Some fairly big personal news to get through before I continue with standard business.

First, and perhaps most distressing, is that I've decided to sell my Wii. "But Jordan, you love Nintendo!" Well, I did. Our relationship has been kinda rocky the past year or so.
The Big N has not been good to my ilk and I. With their focus on expanding the market to non-gamers, they have been ignoring us more and more. Well, maybe not ignore, but they aren't giving the faithful their due. You think you can toss me Smash Bros. and a half baked Mario Kart and call it a year? There is nothing, literally nothing, on the horizon that interests me (except from maybe Sam and Max, but I can get my fix elsewhere).
Don't get me wrong, I've had some great times with my Wii. Wii Sports was a blast to play drunk with my friends in the months following its release. Twilight Princess and Mario Galaxy, while not as revolutionary as their 64-bit predecessors, were still deep, engaging, and most of all, fun. But Nintendo sorta blew their load early this generation. What else is left to excite the 20+ year Nintendo die-hard?
So it is with heavy heart (and hopefully soon an equally heavy wallet) that I am selling my Wii. Perhaps one day our paths will cross again, perhaps not. But I'm hoping they do.

The Wii and my breakup is not the only one I have to tell you about, but the second one has a considerably happier ending.
It all began on a sunny autumn day in 2002. I checked the mail that fateful afternoon, only to find the instrument of my financial ruin lurking inside the box. I speak, of course, about my first credit card.
I raced back to my computer, eager to exercise my newly found spending power. Before eBay, before Amazon, I wanted to get an IGN Insider subscription. IGN was already my home page. What harm was there in spending a buck seventy every month for exclusive features, high resolution videos and ad-free navigation? How could I say no? Especially when subscribing to a similarly themed print publication in Canada was prohibitively expensive (particularly to this frugal Canuck).
The arrangement between IGN and myself worked fine for nearly half a decade. It wasn't until the spring of 2007 that I started to question my annual fee. After all, don't Game Trailers and Game Videos offer high res videos for free? And I love the writers at EGM. I can read their stuff any time over at 1up. To top it all off, I grew tired of the immature and unprofessional antics of the IGN staff. There was no way they were getting another years subscription out of me.



But it wasn't til I came across a relatively young gaming site by the name of Destructoid
that I knew what I was missing: community.
Here was a site that not only offered every member a place to voice their opinions, but they promoted the work of the community and interacted with them as peers.
I was instantly hooked. I met some incredible people (the first people I added to my XBL friends list since the inception of the service are Dtoiders). I read amazing and hilarious articles. I was even included in one of Ron's epic credits videos (right between dyslixec and -D-).
In short, Destructoid is now my first stop on the innerwebs for anything. You guys all rock hard. You deserve this:







This past week saw the release of the first chapter in the long awaited series, Penny Arcade Adventures: On The Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness. Being a huge Penny Arcade fan (not to mention having been at PAX when the game was announced), I couldn't wait for this game to come out. I have not been disappointed.
It combines aspects of a few different genres into an easy to swallow 8 hour package: some very light adventure parts joined with a fast paced, albeit shallow, RPG combat system.
As the game progresses, your customized character teams up with the members of the Startling Developments Detective Agency (Penny Arcades own Gabe and Tycho) to track down a giant robotic menace that has been plaguing the 1920s-era city of New Arcadia. Along the way, you encounter several familiar faces while battling a variety of villains, both old and new.
I dug this game immediately. From the moment the intro begins, Jerry Holkins' writing style simultaneously mocks your inferior vocabulary and assaults your funny bone, while Mike Krahulik's art translates beautifully into three dimensions.
The combat is especially great. It's a very streamlined system that incorporates only 3 commands: items, attack and special attacks. You must wait for each command to become available before you can use the next. First, your item icon fills, enabling you to heal members of your squad or boost their stats, then your attack icon fills. Once it is accessible, you must decide to either attack immediately or wait to use one of your character's 3 devastating specials. Once a special is chosen, a short skill based mini game is initiated to determine the extent of the damage. If 2, or all 3 of your heroes have their special attack at their disposal, you may combine them to demolish your opponents. The quick nature and hands-on approach to traditional RPG combat is very reminiscent of the Nintendo/Square classic, Super Mario RPG. And just like in Mario's adventure, you even have the opportunity to soften blows from your enemies with timed button presses.
If I had one reservation about PAA:OTRSPOD, it would be its sometimes frustrating difficulty spikes. On a few occasions, I would enter a new area, only to have my ass handed to me a new foe. At this point it becomes impossible to understate the importance of defense.
Overall, it's an easy recommendation to any fan of the comic. I can understand why people would be on the fence, particularly given it's $20 price, but with a demo available for 360, PC, Mac and Linux, there's no excuse to not atleast give it a try.

With my return to Xbox Live, I've been putting some serious time into Call of Duty 4 and its online component. Of special note is that I finally picked up the map pack.
Unfortunately, not every map has come up in the rotation, but I'm loving what I've seen so far. They epitomize the attention to detail, balance and polish that the game is renowned for.
I give you my word that this map pack will be the best 800 MS points you've spent since Worms.





1up's Jeremy Parish provides a preview of the highly anticipated DS tactical-RPG, Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift.

Leigh Alexander (one of my favourite gaming writers) presents this great Yahtzee-esque video, discussing the relationship between gaming and sexuality, via her blog Sexy Videogameland.


EGM EIC James "Milky" Mielke tales a look back at some of the best opening strategies from Blizzard's legendary RTS, Starcraft.





Penny Arcade really stepped it up this week with their interpretation of a press release for "Ponystars."
Seriously, Gabe's expression in the second panel tickles me in a way that most religious types would find offensive.

The Unhorse