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Dr Rockyowitz avatar 10:59 AM on 03.03.2010  (server time)
The Secret Armory Gets My Knoxx Off

The 3 most wanted on Pandora...and Brick who is 1 dollar less on the most wanted list...

Borderlands had a formula that was a stronger stimulant than a taint laced with cocaine: "Kill, Loot, Level, Repeat". With the Secret Armory, it stays the same and that, folks, is great. I have not completed the pack, so this is more of a first-impressions than anything else.

Something witty about difficulty goes here
My first run through of Knoxx, I died from a damn security drone, the first enemy I faced. After preparing a bit more, and leveling up (also using WillowTree to change my outfit colors to something cooler, and boosting from 47 to 50 because I was really tired and wanted to just play), the difficulty got a lot easier, but it wasn't a walk in the park. The new enemies, such as the assassins, really change up the pace. For example, I can walk all over the Crimson Lance with just my Pestilent Defiler magnum (x4 corrosion, yeah!), but these ladies in red will, for lack of better words, RUIN YOUR SHIT if you're not ready to deal with their speed. While some can be frail, the leaders are always tough enough to get me to panic a little. My first powered armor mech sighting was thrilling, but slightly disappointing. I'm playing as a Soldier, and although my turrent couldn't take him out, it's lvl. 4 explosion shot really lays the heat and keeps him from pelting me with a shotgun spread that reminds me of the Unreal Tournament gun, the Flak Cannon.

What I'm really enjoying besides the difficulty is how they have fleshed out Pandora. While I know a lot of people are not fans of the driving, I find it to be really fun. I had a few mishaps with the handling of the little racer car, but all of those complaints were subverted by the fact I ramped off an overpass, only to land directly on a midget. Man I love videogames. These scenes, however, can grew to be a bit tiresome, which is why I really miss fast travel. But at least adding some new vehicles helps to keep things from getting too stale. However, these roads could have been shortened...or at least add a few damn Quick Travel stations. Also, Scooter's mom is a MILF. Seriously.

Like this, but Crimson...and with 776 damage, and just better.
Guns, Guns, Guns
Yesterday, I found a sniper rifle called the Crimson Lance, which has probably the coolest paint job I've seen in the game. It is literally crimson. Damn great stats too. Today, I found another sniper rifle that fires like a machine gun. I'm trippin' balls in delight here. The new additions to weapons are pretty damn powerful. If you've played Borderlands extensively, you know the feeling of joy when you find a new weapons box. However, you haven't felt anything until you open one of the "armory boxes". These things get my heart pounding and my pants tight. They usually have really big payloads, with one I found containing an Orange, two Purples, and a class mod. I recall the Burning Savior SMG being the orange, but can't remember the others. Regardless, although there might be some rehashes, the simple knowledge of the POWER in these things is pretty intense.

Well, we have something in common after all...still going to kill us though...
The Red Rocket Lance...not sexual at all...
The Crimson Lance itself is an interesting group. Among standard infantry and defenders, the company has decided to throw in elemental soldiers. Pyro, Shock Troopers, and Chemical (?). These guys really make you think about the shields you are packing, as most of these guys won't go down without a fight. I also appreciate how the badasses of Pyro group (only have encountered that kind, unfortunately) will ignite if you blow up their backpacks, instantly killing them. Let's strategy be a part of the game, even if it is only very minor. I'm enjoying fighting these guys. Also, the cores that they drop (see Marcus as soon as he asks for you. It'll help!) really add to the fighting. Shock, Power, and Speed. These add a kind of "random" mentality, but it can help with changing your game plan. I was about to die against 3 soldiers, and luckily, one dropped a shock core. After picking it up and instantly charging my shields, I found a power core and destroyed the other two with quick shotgun blasts...from a Blast Shotgun. Pretty fun stuff. Also, the assassins are hot...and lethal. Anyone else remember the name of that old show of the hit-woman? La femme Nikita, is that right?

I would let her assassin my crimson lance, if you know what I'm saying

Wow! You're Not Dead!
The writing is pretty damn great. From Knoxx sharing small talk before declaring to kill you in the most nonchalant way possible, to Scooter's dialog, Moxxi's sexy voice, and back to the lovable Claptrap, the writing has been pretty damn funny. I've enjoyed listening to these characters. But damn it to hell, those talking drones get really damn annoying. Not that their writing is bad, but they are everywhere...seriously, it is hard to get away from those guys. Gearbox seems to know this, because they have a lot of varied lines that they use. Unfortunately, they still end up on my complaint list. Claptrap is as lovable as ever and really shines. I've only seen the original in this new pack, but I've seen the hints of a jailbird Claptrap. I'm looking forward to it.

Overall, I'm really enjoying this stuff. Seriously, if you have the cash, do not hesitate. This is the best pack to hit Borderlands, hands down. Also, it's more addictive Borderlands...what's not to love about that? Slaughter Midgetville today!

Does anyone happen to know what the box with arrows by the "World's Largest Bullet" does? I'm thinking a secret weapon store, but not sure.

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