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Internet Matlock burns down another nerds house over internet Matlockery!
NO LONGER WORKS AT DESTRUCTOID | 2:29 AM on 07.28.2007 32 comments



ELM MOTT, Texas - A Navy man who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the Internet climbed into his car and drove 1,300 miles from Virginia to Texas to teach the other guy a lesson.

As he made his way toward Texas, Fire Controlman 2nd Class Petty Officer Russell Tavares posted photos online showing the welcome signs at several states' borders, as if to prove to his Internet friends that he meant business.

When he finally arrived, Tavares burned the guy's trailer down.

This week, Tavares, 27, was sentenced to seven years in prison after pleading no contest to arson and admitting he set the blaze.

"I didn't think anybody was stupid enough to try to kill anybody over an Internet fight," said John G. Anderson, 59, who suffered smoke inhalation while trying to put out the 2005 blaze that caused $50,000 in damage to his trailer and computer equipment.

The feud started when Anderson, who runs a haunted house near Waco, joined a picture-sharing Web site and posted his artwork and political views. After he blocked some people from his page because of insults and foul language, they retaliated by making obscene digitally altered pictures of him, he said.

Anderson, who went by the screen name "Johnny Darkness," traded barbs with Tavares, aka "PyroDice."

Investigators say Tavares boiled over when Anderson called him a nerd and posted a digitally altered photo making Tavares look like a skinny boy in high-water pants, holding a gun and a laptop under a "Revenge of the Nerds" sign.

Tavares obtained Anderson's real name and hometown from Anderson's Web page about his Museum of Horrors Haunted House.

Tavares took leave from his post as a weapons systems operator at the AEGIS Training and Readiness Center in Dahlgren, Va., and started driving. Investigators say he told them he planned to point a shotgun at Anderson and shoot his computer.

Instead, when he got to Elm Mott — after posting one last photo of a "Welcome to Texas" sign — Tavares threw a piece of gasoline-soaked plastic foam into the back of Anderson's mobile home and lit a flare, authorities say.

Tavares' attorney, Susan Kelly Johnston, said his trip to the Waco area was a last-minute decision during a cross-country trip to visit his parents in Arizona. She said he never intended to hurt Anderson and did not think he was in the trailer when he set the fire.

James Pack, an investigator with the McLennan County Sheriff's Office, caught up with Tavares after talking to people in several states and Spain who had been involved in the online feud. Tavares' cell phone records showed he was in the Waco area at the time of the fire, Pack said.

Tavares told investigators that Anderson had spread computer viruses and insulted his online friends for too long, Pack said.

"He lost everything — all over an Internet squabble," the investigator said.

Tavares was discharged last year from the Navy, where he earned several medals — including the pistol expert and rifle expert medals — in his nine-year career, said Navy spokesman Mike McLellan.

Tavares would not let the feud go even at his sentencing. According to Pack, Tavares took cell-phone photos of Anderson in the courtroom while the judge was hearing another case. Authorities ordered the photos erased.

Anderson, an ex-Marine who served in Vietnam, said he continues to be harassed online, has been startled by people knocking on his window late at night and found bullet holes in a door to his business.

He said he is convinced the harassment is related to the Internet feud and plans to spend $30,000 on more fencing topped with barbed wire.

"Before this happened, the rule was: Nobody messes with the haunted house guy," Anderson said.
By ANGELA K. BROWN, Associated Press Writer

Rule of thumb:
#1. Don't fuck with a Mexican nerd
#2. Mamma, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
#3. If 4chan has taught us anything, it's that anonymous kicks fucking ass!

Before it starts:
Hey Ron, why no Asian nerds?
Dude, Asian non-nerds are the rare ones.

Hey Ron, I can't believe you think this is funny!
Well, the story about the black kid in a wheel chair painted in black face being puppeteered by a clandsman was a little iffy. I felt it was safe going with this.

Hey Ron, MGS4 isn't coming out on the 360!
Your right. Being a forum mod on moviepoopshoot.com gives you much more insight than I could ever find. The _______ of said game telling me that it was in fact coming because he has a team that has been working on it for months and having ______ of said work on my fucking laptop are worthless. Neither of us would know. Keep those forums moving you fucking cave newt. You were also right about Gears of War on the PC when you told me last fucking year that I was wrong even when I was playing it.

Hey Ron, Im an innernet douchebag. How can I grow up to be just like you?
Look fuckbag. Karl Malone, is the only thing that puts something "innernet," so shut the fuck up. Steal some of your dads Natty light, go to the county fair and find some redneck chick with big poofy hair and fingerbang her in your camaro. Only then will you reach Nirvana.

Goddamn. Now that I read this again... whew. This is really pushing it. I hope you enjoy!



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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28
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droobies's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 03:38
droobies
The only think Karl Malone knows about the internet is that I puts the ball innernet.
mid3vol's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 03:49
mid3vol
you do. bam-a-lam.
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 03:50
Coonskin05
The Internet is cereal business.
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 04:04
Riser Glen
Looks like it's time for some Internet Texas Justice.
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 04:16
William Haley
Wow Slife, I can't even make breakfast until like 5 in the afternoon, yet you can whip up photoshops at the drop of the hat.

______.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 05:34
Aaron Mxy Yost
That's the greatest story I've read in the last four and a half hours, easily.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 06:14
Maurice Tan
Mexinerd/Latinerd doesn't need no STINKING BADGES!

Hey Ron! MGS4 is not coming to the PStriple because Tretton said it was an EXCLUSIVE! Also you are old enough to be my father, my parents are rich which gives me more rights, we don't breath fucking oxygen here and the Earth is flat.
Demios's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 06:18
Demios
I gotta be honest when i read the first few lines and initial paragraph only one thing was going through my head...

"Goddamnit Halo, again???"
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 06:34
ArrestedDeveloper


Matlock raped my grandmother.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 07:13
Jim Sterling
Natty Ice > Light
Tron Knotts's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 07:51
Tron Knotts
This deserves to be a movie.

It's a better story than "Monster" and "The Human Stain" combined.

Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 07:52
Jim Sterling
Wtf? Orcist putting words in my mouth? I don't drink no Natty nothin'.
Jake Clarke's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 07:53
Jake Clarke
im just waiting for some one to say: "gives a whole new meaning to internet flaming"

tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 09:05
tazarthayoot
That was beautiful.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 09:42
BahamutZero
SEE? I TOLD YOU I WAS HARDCORE
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 11:35
king3vbo
Damn, that was fucking hilarious

IMA BURN UR TRAILER NOOB!
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 12:59
LostCrichton
Wow. That's too funny.
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 13:37
Pangloss
Ron, you'd better watch out. One of these fucktard Matlocks might be a Mexican. I hope this has taught you how super cereal the internets are.

Also, link plz for the "black kid in a wheel chair painted in black face being puppeteered by a clandsman" story.
Savant's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 14:06
Savant
It blows my mind how far some people will take things, and how long they can grind an axe. The worst, is when a nerd grinds an axe over another nerd calling HIM a nerd...

Someone needs to put a stop to World of Warcraft before World War III starts. The last thing we need is Bush's toon getting called a "nub" by some Korean kid taking a break from farming gold.

Seriously, you guys. The internet is serious business.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 14:46
Sharpless
Don't worry, Ron.



I will always love you.
Kotua's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 16:06
Kotua
Damn. People like that ruin it for the rest of us Mexicans. :(
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/28/2007 20:56
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
I remember a story about almost the same thing happening in Mexico City, except it was some guy harassing his wife rather than some insecure and "hardcore" guy with a vengence.
Phist's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/29/2007 13:34
Phist
Dtoid needs to make a made-for-TV movie out of this. I propose Ted to be the Navy dude. Get on it, Workman.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/30/2007 08:39
Snaileb
I guess this means we should stop bashing WiiSucks?

lol, no.
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