[Update] Cashwh0re (Formerly Destructoid) is proud to bring you the review you have been waiting for... Kane and Lynch: Dead Men, sponsored by Kane and Lynch:Dean Men!
Final verdict: 11 out of 10!
Our hearts go out to everyone that left Gamespot in the wake of Kane and Lynchgate 07' and we totally agree with what you are doing. Even those of you that were fired. Please keep in mind that Rev. Anthony reviewed the game for Destructoid and gave it a 3 out of 10. So, if you think we are selling out...Phew! There is nothing else that I can tell you.
CASHWH0RE FOR EVA!!!!
Update: I am really glad that everyone liked the video. The one thing that really makes me sad about all of this, is come Monday, Jeff is going to be ripped apart by a PR team. It has already started with people saying he was fired weeks ago. It's just not true. While I can't talk about specifics, the dude did get fucked over no matter what you hear. The fact that Eidos could have 1% influence over him being fired is 1% more than GS should have allowed. This all clearly happened. People didn't even know about this until GS reacted to the situation. They pulled the video, edited his post, and Eidos switched ads. Nothing to see here is just not going to cut it on this one.
User reviews were blocked on the 30th and I do understand why. Every review coming in was a 1.0 backlash. But you know what? Fuck it... You reap what you sow! (or sew depending on where you are from)
Any GS former staff needing a home, you have one here.
PS Thanks to everyone at Digg that supports and gets what the video is about. I really expected a ton of asshole comments like, "you spelled too wrong idiot." It's awesome to see that the message (the fact that I get to be an asshole) is the most important part. I am really happy to see that people get what I was trying to say.
Answer bag
Whats the song at the end? The song at the end is the Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Angello & Ingross Remix)
Was that 2g1c? Yes the piano song is 2girls1cup
What's up with 7 out of 10 IGN? I have some friends there and its a joke. Also, IGN's review scale is kind of a 7 out of 10. Dtoid uses a true 1 - 10 scale if you haven't noticed.
Surfergirl comment? Well... I am really tired of people "Claiming" that surfergirl is breaking news. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her and I'm not trying to bash her, but it's just a random blogspot of a mid-40's PR lady in the industry that works or trolls Gamasutra. She just hears rumors and very little of it is concrete. THERE IS NO JOB IN THIS INDUSTRY WHERE YOU HEAR IF EVERY RUMOR IS TRUE. As some of you know, .......... .[redacted].............., I can say that there are things on her blog that she states will not happen and they are happening. FOR SURE. Aside from that... WTF does 2d/3d or cell shaded mean? Was 4d taken?
And stop giving her credit about the Ghostbusters game. That shit had been around forever. It can be an entertaining read, but writing "May or may not be" and being super vague is easy.
Gamestop management "May or may not be" total fucking assholes. See?
Hey Ron, how much would it cost for you to sell out on a review? $20,000 bucks. 11 out of 10 everytime. But, for that money, I plan on spending it to buy copies of said game and give them out. I also will make it clear that I am a sellout. For 20k I will give you your monies worth in video, contests, and maybe even midgets. Pheonix-blood for $4 I will do anything you want as long as it involves my penis and your vagina, or toy trains.
Update: I now have this item for sale on ebay Click here to buy it now!
Ron are you worried about being sued? Its happened before. Who fucking cares. As long as the message gets out there its worth it. Advertisers should have zero editorial input. My goals have always been to change this industry. I am a gamer. Not a writer, not a Game dev. I am just some fucking random ass dude that likes gaming. The user should have a say. It would be awesome if GS came after me. They would have to disclose info publicly about firing Jeff which would make my fucking day. Look for "Ron Workman's Legal fund" soon.
@Neuraal Yep, I'm not on there. My mom noticed it today. Then she beat me with a hose.
PS if you really want too, there is a Petition going around that you can sign.
PSS A few people think this is about money and us serving ads. The reason I posted this on a Cblog and not the front page is because WE HAVE NO PAID ADS ON OUR COMMUNITY BLOGS! I did it for the message not for hits or ad revenue. The X-marks the spot ads at the top are there because we are part of the contest. We were givin no money to put it up.
Damn man, I was going to sleep pretty soon, then I had to do my quick run of sites before shutting the monitor off... I guess I can find something to do to keep me busy till this is up.
@Suff0catingSight its Sony Vegas 6.0. 7 is out and has better options but on my laptop, I never really got around to upgrading it. (Upgrade = Finding torrent)
Damnit, Now I feel like you may be disappointed. Here it comes...
oh yeah, that video kicked ass!!!!!!!!!!!!! [i've never used that many '!' in my life]
some great moments:
"sound, it has it"
also, the song at the end seemed very fitting.
ever bit of the 'technical difficulties' section. from the picture, the caption, then sealing the deal with the price is right filler theme...... perfect. i give that section a 12 out of 10, that is how much it made me laugh
I'd love to see more of these CashWh0re reviews. Sure, Destructoid reviews give mostly honest, balanced opinions of the game, plus added balance from the opinions of the CBloggers, but CashWh0re builds hype from a pile of crap!
@Big z Thanks. I tried to use Tarintino's style with that. The cinematography was more of a dark feel though so I thought that the fart could lighten up the overall tone and feel. Or I just think that fart sound is funny
@Big z Thanks. I tried to use Tarintino's style with that. The cinematography was more of a dark feel though so I thought that the fart could lighten up the overall tone and feel. Or I just think that fart sound is funny
On a scale of 1 to awesome, cashwhore.com gives Kane and Lynch: Dead Men an Amazing out of 5! That's an honest, reliable, trustworthy review right there!
I had to wait all day to see this but it was well worth it. I've been sitting through screeners of films that are being considered for WAFCA awards and this was the best thing I've seen all day. I'm nominating you Ron for all of them.
(# 0) on 12/01/2007 08:15
(# 1) on 12/01/2007 08:18
(# 2) on 12/01/2007 08:19
(# 3) on 12/01/2007 08:23
(# 4) on 12/01/2007 08:25
(# 5) on 12/01/2007 08:25
(# 6) on 12/01/2007 08:27
(# 7) on 12/01/2007 08:27
(# 8) on 12/01/2007 08:29
Then again pretty much anything is awesome compared to Windows Movie Maker.
(# 9) on 12/01/2007 08:29
Wait, you use Sorry Vagina 6.0 as video editor program...?
(# 10) on 12/01/2007 08:31
(# 11) on 12/01/2007 08:34
"Destructoid will never merge with Gamespot. We're not going to sell-out the soul of the site." -Niero
(# 12) on 12/01/2007 08:35
(# 13) on 12/01/2007 08:41
(# 14) on 12/01/2007 08:45
Damnit, Now I feel like you may be disappointed. Here it comes...
(# 15) on 12/01/2007 08:48
(# 16) on 12/01/2007 08:49
(# 17) on 12/01/2007 08:52
(# 18) on 12/01/2007 08:53
(# 19) on 12/01/2007 08:54
(# 20) on 12/01/2007 08:57
(# 21) on 12/01/2007 09:05
(# 22) on 12/01/2007 09:05
(# 23) on 12/01/2007 09:05
(# 24) on 12/01/2007 09:06
Best line?
"The sound... it has it. 11/10."
(# 25) on 12/01/2007 09:06
(# 26) on 12/01/2007 09:13
(# 27) on 12/01/2007 09:15
some great moments:
"sound, it has it"
also, the song at the end seemed very fitting.
ever bit of the 'technical difficulties' section. from the picture, the caption, then sealing the deal with the price is right filler theme...... perfect. i give that section a 12 out of 10, that is how much it made me laugh
(# 28) on 12/01/2007 09:16
(# 29) on 12/01/2007 09:18
(# 30) on 12/01/2007 09:18
(# 31) on 12/01/2007 09:24
@ ron, if the check from edios was double what they sent you [; you would have given it a 12. you can't fool me. [:
(# 32) on 12/01/2007 09:26
(# 33) on 12/01/2007 09:27
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fixed. Also, I love yous guys. If you ever sell out, Ron, I have your phone number. Something bad will happen... telecommunication related.
(# 34) on 12/01/2007 09:28
With 3 being the hight score possible! You fucking sell outs!
(# 35) on 12/01/2007 09:37
"This 2.5 Halo 3 review sponsored by The Ken Kutaragi Make-A-Wish Foundation."
(# 36) on 12/01/2007 09:41
That was beautiful.
(# 37) on 12/01/2007 09:47
So, gameplay gets 22/10, right?
(# 38) on 12/01/2007 09:51
(# 39) on 12/01/2007 09:51
(# 40) on 12/01/2007 09:57
(# 41) on 12/01/2007 10:01
Nice work Ron lol
(# 42) on 12/01/2007 10:03
(# 43) on 12/01/2007 10:09
(# 44) on 12/01/2007 10:14
11 out of 10 again"
hahahaha
(# 45) on 12/01/2007 10:14
(# 46) on 12/01/2007 10:14
(# 47) on 12/01/2007 10:15
(# 48) on 12/01/2007 10:22
(# 49) on 12/01/2007 10:32
Are you going to be a guest spot on AOTS now?
(# 50) on 12/01/2007 10:33
Now where´s my check?
(# 51) on 12/01/2007 10:36
Brilliant isn't the best word (no word is sufficient). But it's the first thing to come to mind.
(# 52) on 12/01/2007 10:40
(# 53) on 12/01/2007 10:48
(# 54) on 12/01/2007 11:09
(# 55) on 12/01/2007 11:10
(# 56) on 12/01/2007 11:13
(# 57) on 12/01/2007 11:15
*cries in the corner*
(# 58) on 12/01/2007 11:18
(# 59) on 12/01/2007 11:26
Though what is the average price for an 11 out of 10?
(# 60) on 12/01/2007 11:38
(# 61) on 12/01/2007 11:43
(# 62) on 12/01/2007 11:53
(# 63) on 12/01/2007 12:04
(# 64) on 12/01/2007 12:08
(# 65) on 12/01/2007 12:13
(# 66) on 12/01/2007 12:18
(# 67) on 12/01/2007 12:19
(# 68) on 12/01/2007 12:22
(# 69) on 12/01/2007 12:30
(# 70) on 12/01/2007 12:31
Awesome.
If i give you 50 bucks would you sell me the dtoid helmet?? I mean, since this site now is a entire auction.
(# 71) on 12/01/2007 12:39
(# 72) on 12/01/2007 12:39
(# 73) on 12/01/2007 12:55
"Multi-mutiplayer"
KAYNE AND LINCH GETZ 1 BILLYUN OUT OF DIEZ
(# 74) on 12/01/2007 13:15
I bet you didn't even finish the game =P
PS:<3 Dtoid and epic video is epic.
(# 75) on 12/01/2007 13:30
(# 76) on 12/01/2007 13:31
(# 77) on 12/01/2007 13:33
(# 78) on 12/01/2007 13:33
(# 79) on 12/01/2007 13:34
(# 80) on 12/01/2007 13:36
Lol-tastic video is lol-tastic.
(# 81) on 12/01/2007 14:05
(# 82) on 12/01/2007 14:06
I laughed out loud at that part.
(# 83) on 12/01/2007 14:24
(# 84) on 12/01/2007 14:26
(# 85) on 12/01/2007 14:45
(# 86) on 12/01/2007 15:01
(# 87) on 12/01/2007 15:23
(# 88) on 12/01/2007 15:25
(# 89) on 12/01/2007 16:27
(# 90) on 12/01/2007 16:33
epic
epic
epic
(# 91) on 12/01/2007 17:13
(# 92) on 12/01/2007 17:19
(# 93) on 12/01/2007 17:30
(# 94) on 12/01/2007 17:57
(# 95) on 12/01/2007 18:02
(# 96) on 12/01/2007 18:23
(# 97) on 12/01/2007 18:31
(# 98) on 12/01/2007 18:38
Maybe this video should be embedded on Gamespot?
(# 99) on 12/01/2007 19:40
(# 100) on 12/01/2007 19:54
I guess metacritic.com will be my source for reviews form now on....oh and Destructoid.com as well :D
(# 101) on 12/01/2007 20:06
No really I'm making soup.
(# 102) on 12/01/2007 20:07
(# 103) on 12/01/2007 21:18
(# 104) on 12/01/2007 22:22
(# 105) on 12/01/2007 22:38
Oh wait.
(# 106) on 12/01/2007 23:18
Fail.
(# 107) on 12/01/2007 23:19
Sorry was lazy
(# 108) on 12/01/2007 23:20
(# 109) on 12/01/2007 23:23
(# 110) on 12/01/2007 23:34
If so, AWESOME.
(# 111) on 12/01/2007 23:52
(# 112) on 12/02/2007 00:15
(# 113) on 12/02/2007 01:22