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Cashwh0re Kain and Lynch video review!
NO LONGER WORKS AT DESTRUCTOID | 2:09 AM on 12.02.2007 182 comments


[Update] Cashwh0re (Formerly Destructoid) is proud to bring you the review you have been waiting for... Kane and Lynch: Dead Men, sponsored by Kane and Lynch:Dean Men!

Final verdict: 11 out of 10!

Our hearts go out to everyone that left Gamespot in the wake of Kane and Lynchgate 07' and we totally agree with what you are doing. Even those of you that were fired. Please keep in mind that Rev. Anthony reviewed the game for Destructoid and gave it a 3 out of 10. So, if you think we are selling out...Phew! There is nothing else that I can tell you.

CASHWH0RE FOR EVA!!!!

Update: I am really glad that everyone liked the video. The one thing that really makes me sad about all of this, is come Monday, Jeff is going to be ripped apart by a PR team. It has already started with people saying he was fired weeks ago. It's just not true. While I can't talk about specifics, the dude did get fucked over no matter what you hear. The fact that Eidos could have 1% influence over him being fired is 1% more than GS should have allowed. This all clearly happened. People didn't even know about this until GS reacted to the situation. They pulled the video, edited his post, and Eidos switched ads. Nothing to see here is just not going to cut it on this one.

User reviews were blocked on the 30th and I do understand why. Every review coming in was a 1.0 backlash. But you know what? Fuck it... You reap what you sow! (or sew depending on where you are from)
Any GS former staff needing a home, you have one here.

PS Thanks to everyone at Digg that supports and gets what the video is about. I really expected a ton of asshole comments like, "you spelled too wrong idiot." It's awesome to see that the message (the fact that I get to be an asshole) is the most important part. I am really happy to see that people get what I was trying to say.

Answer bag

Whats the song at the end? The song at the end is the Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Angello & Ingross Remix)

Was that 2g1c? Yes the piano song is 2girls1cup

What's up with 7 out of 10 IGN? I have some friends there and its a joke. Also, IGN's review scale is kind of a 7 out of 10. Dtoid uses a true 1 - 10 scale if you haven't noticed.

Surfergirl comment? Well... I am really tired of people "Claiming" that surfergirl is breaking news. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her and I'm not trying to bash her, but it's just a random blogspot of a mid-40's PR lady in the industry that works or trolls Gamasutra. She just hears rumors and very little of it is concrete. THERE IS NO JOB IN THIS INDUSTRY WHERE YOU HEAR IF EVERY RUMOR IS TRUE. As some of you know, .......... .[redacted].............., I can say that there are things on her blog that she states will not happen and they are happening. FOR SURE. Aside from that... WTF does 2d/3d or cell shaded mean? Was 4d taken?
And stop giving her credit about the Ghostbusters game. That shit had been around forever. It can be an entertaining read, but writing "May or may not be" and being super vague is easy.
Gamestop management "May or may not be" total fucking assholes. See?

Hey Ron, how much would it cost for you to sell out on a review? $20,000 bucks. 11 out of 10 everytime. But, for that money, I plan on spending it to buy copies of said game and give them out. I also will make it clear that I am a sellout. For 20k I will give you your monies worth in video, contests, and maybe even midgets. Pheonix-blood for $4 I will do anything you want as long as it involves my penis and your vagina, or toy trains.
Update: I now have this item for sale on ebay
Click here to buy it now!

Ron are you worried about being sued? Its happened before. Who fucking cares. As long as the message gets out there its worth it. Advertisers should have zero editorial input. My goals have always been to change this industry. I am a gamer. Not a writer, not a Game dev. I am just some fucking random ass dude that likes gaming. The user should have a say. It would be awesome if GS came after me. They would have to disclose info publicly about firing Jeff which would make my fucking day. Look for "Ron Workman's Legal fund" soon.

@Neuraal Yep, I'm not on there. My mom noticed it today. Then she beat me with a hose.

PS if you really want too, there is a Petition going around that you can sign.



PSS A few people think this is about money and us serving ads. The reason I posted this on a Cblog and not the front page is because WE HAVE NO PAID ADS ON OUR COMMUNITY BLOGS! I did it for the message not for hits or ad revenue. The X-marks the spot ads at the top are there because we are part of the contest. We were givin no money to put it up.

PS3 Thanks for making this One of the top 10 stories on Digg

Gamers rock today! Thanks a ton everyone.
Ron



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150 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:15
Butmac
I'm just gonna sit here and keep hitting refresh. kthx
JACK of No Trades's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:19
JACK of No Trades
You must be drunk again. lol
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:23
BS3 Owner
Ron, please don't flame me... Please!
Tristero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:25
Tristero
Do it, Ron! Do it big boy! Bring the pain!
CheapyD's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:27
CheapyD
BRING THE PAIN
PacoDG's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:27
PacoDG
Damn man, I was going to sleep pretty soon, then I had to do my quick run of sites before shutting the monitor off... I guess I can find something to do to keep me busy till this is up.
Suff0cat's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:29
Suff0cat
What the hell is that video making program? It looks awesome.


Then again pretty much anything is awesome compared to Windows Movie Maker.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:29
Maurice Tan
More importantly, the right people will like you more while the evil corrupt shades of darkness will dislike you more. Win-win?

Wait, you use Sorry Vagina 6.0 as video editor program...?
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:31
Butmac
Uh oh, Ron loves his Sony Vegas...rofl at sorry vagina though
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:34
BluDesign
I'm sorry, I can't support a gaming website that edits with Sony Vegas. You guys have now officially sold out.


"Destructoid will never merge with Gamespot. We're not going to sell-out the soul of the site." -Niero
SPIDER PIG's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:35
SPIDER PIG
come onnnnnn, i cant wait any longer
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:41
Aaron Mxy Yost
Yay, a reason to stay awake longer!
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:48
atheistium
hurry xD
Macca's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:49
Macca
Don't worry Ron, if it all turns to shit, blame it on the alcohol.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:52
atheistium
hurry D:<
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:53
jerrt
so where is the video? i want to watch....
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:54
Aaron Mxy Yost
I give that video an 11 out of 10!
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 08:57
atheistium
this video is no longer avaliable?! :(
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:05
atheistium
best vid u've done so far
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:05
Upgrayedd
fap-tastic!
JACK of No Trades's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:05
JACK of No Trades
LOL! Thats was great.
Macca's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:06
Macca
That was awesome.

Best line?

"The sound... it has it. 11/10."
joepaniic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:13
joepaniic
best review ever. Emailing to every Gamespot email address i can find.
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:15
jerrt
oh yeah, that video kicked ass!!!!!!!!!!!!! [i've never used that many '!' in my life]

some great moments:

"sound, it has it"

also, the song at the end seemed very fitting.

ever bit of the 'technical difficulties' section. from the picture, the caption, then sealing the deal with the price is right filler theme...... perfect. i give that section a 12 out of 10, that is how much it made me laugh
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:24
jerrt
i don't care. i don't know about anyone else, but that is my two cents.

@ ron, if the check from edios was double what they sent you [; you would have given it a 12. you can't fool me. [:
bunnyrabbit2's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:26
bunnyrabbit2
that was made of pure win. If I ever end up in america and meet you, I am buying you a pint.
Brandon Undead's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:27
Brandon Undead
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Fixed. Also, I love yous guys. If you ever sell out, Ron, I have your phone number. Something bad will happen... telecommunication related.
JACK of No Trades's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:28
JACK of No Trades
"Anthony reviewed the game for Destructoid and gave it a 3 out of 10."

With 3 being the hight score possible! You fucking sell outs!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:37
MaxVest
Don't limit yourself, Ron -- you could also offer to take cash from competing companies for negative reviews.

"This 2.5 Halo 3 review sponsored by The Ken Kutaragi Make-A-Wish Foundation."
Bioautographical's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:41
Bioautographical
To whom do we make blowjobs payable?

That was beautiful.
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:47
The Incredible Edible Egg
OMG U no nothing U kANT do 11 out of 10 it doesnt work that wei this blog is crap stupid... MARBLES!!!

So, gameplay gets 22/10, right?
PacoDG's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:51
PacoDG
Awesome.
Chris Morris's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:51
Chris Morris
I need a permanent copy of this video on DVD or HD please. I give it an 11/10!
Pedro Blandino's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 09:57
Pedro Blandino
your going to kill me with these videos Ron. I cant stop laughing!
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:01
Rockvillian
Makes WoW look like a single player game my ASS... it has better graphics than Mario's Galaxy at least, not to mention it's a next gen tittle.

Nice work Ron lol
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:03
Eschatos
Game of the Century fo realz.
mackisawesome's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:09
mackisawesome
OMFGAWD cASHWHORE GIVES THE BEST GAME ADVICE EVORZ!
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:14
Butmac
"Doesn't Matter...

11 out of 10 again"

hahahaha
Tiauguinho's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:14
Tiauguinho
This is all sorts of awesome!
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:15
Riser Glen
Money ha$ made thi$ place great!
Scape's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:22
Scape
It has sound!!
SPIDER PIG's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:32
SPIDER PIG
super awesome.

Are you going to be a guest spot on AOTS now?
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:33
Teta
I rate this video: 11/10.
Now where´s my check?
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:36
Hoygeit
"Ever, ever, ever"

Brilliant isn't the best word (no word is sufficient). But it's the first thing to come to mind.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:40
Brian Szabelski
Once again, Ron pulls through with a great video.
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 10:48
brad drac
So, how much does a score of aleph null/10 cost?
JohnnyWadd's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/01/2007 11:09
JohnnyWadd
Haha Classic.
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